Why the Hell Are There Yokai in a Murim World! #3
"You little shit, where the fuck do you think you're biting?!"
"Eek eek!"
Pain and rage crashed over me like a tidal wave. What the hell had I done to deserve scrapping with these goddamn yokai freaks in a shithole like this? In this absurd situation, all I could feel was pure, boiling fury.
And so, fury unleashed my true power!
"Full power!"
Crunch!
I grabbed the Little Blue Ghost gnawing on my shoulder and yanked it viciously.
Spurt!
No, fuck, my precious historical drama extra costume!
"It's getting torn...!"
This insane world was pissing me off even more!
"Eeeeek!"
I squeezed harder with my hand. The puny Little Blue Ghost couldn't withstand my strength and just flailed helplessly in my grip. Still holding it, I raised my arm high.
Putting every ounce of power into it, I smashed it down with all my might!
"Die, you fucker!"
Splat!
"Kweeeee?!"
The Little Blue Ghost I'd slammed into the ground wailed in agony, thrashing wildly. But its bones and guts were smashed, so it couldn't even flee. Pathetic sight, but no mercy here. No reason to spare a yokai shit like this.
Did you ever see Inuyasha go easy on yokai?
I grabbed its tail. These things had ridiculously long tails for their size—a massive weak point in my book. Once you grab the tail, they're done for!
"Alright! Bamboo helicopter!"
Whirr whirr!
I swung it around by the tail like a flail, giving it a nightmare it'd never forget. As I spun it, the ghostfire blazing in its eyes left afterimages, tracing perfect circles. A fucking insane firework show...!
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"Keeek!"
I spun the Little Blue Ghost like a madman, then slammed it down like a flail one more time with full force.
Splat!
Its body burst open with a gruesome pop, splattering across the ground. Blood everywhere—pretty horrific.
"Confirming the kill!"
Who the hell has time to show mercy right now?
Stomp stomp stomp!
I trampled the splattered Little Blue Ghost until it was completely done. Honestly, it felt kinda gross, like cruelly killing a small animal, but this fucker was a yokai. I was just exterminating it with full effort—nothing weird about that.
"Hoo!"
With that, victory was mine. At some point, the ghostfire in its eyes had flickered out. Guess the flames die when they do.
"Kuhaha...!"
Euphoria. Overwhelming euphoria washed over me. That's right...! I'd just won a life-or-death battle!
Against a goddamn yokai, no less—a seriously tough opponent!
"Raaaaaaaagh!"
My reward? 200 wen in coins and survival in the murim world! How could I not roar with that hitting me?
"I won! I fucking won!"
Adrenaline surged through me. Had I ever felt joy this intense? Probably not. My old life was basically grayscale—no moments like this.
"Are you watching, Aunt? I did it!"
I pictured Aunt's face in the dark sky. She glanced at me with her usual blank expression, then turned away. That cold beauty vibe—that's her charm.
"Hoo."
Anyway, that should be it. Easier than I thought—
Whoosh!
"Yeah, no way it'd be that simple."
Swish.
From the darkness, clusters of blue will-o'-the-wisps floated up. Real goblin flames would flicker one by one, but these burned in pairs.
"Eeeek."
"Sssik."
Roughly ten Little Blue Ghosts emerged slowly, making menacing noises as they closed in.
"Ten against one."
Not good. But...
"Come at me!"
Momentum matters—if you lose the vibe, you lose the fight. I bellowed to provoke them right away.
"Eeeeek!"
"Eeeek eek eek!"
The Little Blue Ghosts charged like a pack of wild dogs, leaping at me.
"You mutts dare gang up?!"
And so began my insane dogfight with the Little Blue Ghost horde.
Whoosh!
Dozens jumped at me, clawing with nails and snapping with teeth. I twisted my body to dodge the lethal attacks, rolling on the ground to evade.
But whenever I couldn't...
Rip!
Threads from my clothes burst apart.
"My clothes...!"
Can I win this fight? Thoughts of running away bubbled up. But fleeing here means I get nothing. Worse—no, way worse. I'd starve tomorrow.
"You fucking bastards are really ganging up!"
I can't let myself starve!
"Power strike!"
I swung my swagger stick, smashing an incoming Little Blue Ghost's head.
"Kyaak!"
Then a horizontal punch to the other side blew out another one's jaw.
Splat!
Keeping the momentum, I whirled the stick to keep them at bay while unleashing my third-dan Taekwondo skills with a back kick.
"Kwaak!"
Another flying Little Blue Ghost got smashed away!
"Raaaaaaaagh!"
I roared to intimidate them.
"Eeeeek!"
"Eek sssik!"
My fighting spirit exploded, but the Little Blue Ghosts burned with their own fury, endlessly charging.
I have to win. With the resolve of a paladin before a hunter, thinking only of victory, I swung the stick—
Slip!
"Gah!"
The stick flew out of my hand! An unintended fumble! No!
"Eeeek sssik!"
That excited them even more—they knew what losing my weapon meant!
But you think I can't fight without a weapon?
"Kraaaaaagh!"
I rolled forward and grabbed one's tail.
"Gotcha!"
"Eek?!"
"You're done, you fucker!"
Holding tight, I...
"Hyaaaaah!"
Whirr whirr!
Swung it like a flail, building massive centrifugal force, then used my new "weapon" to smash another Little Blue Ghost!
Thwack!
"Eek sssik...!"
The hit one rolled on the ground, writhing. I stomped its waist, shattering bones, then...
"Raaaaagh!"
Screamed as I kept swinging the Little Blue Ghost flail to fend off the rest, beating them senseless.
War. Pure fucking war! How many had I taken down? Felt like soloing a nighttime street thug pack. Is there honor at the end of this petty brawl?
"Huff, huff!"
There is!
"Come on, you dogs!"
I kept hyping myself up, yelling. Once a brawl starts, see it through. Show weakness, and it's over. Bluff if you have to!
"Come at me!!!"
Whatever intimidates them!
The one I was holding was long dead. I hoisted it with both hands and slammed it down while knee-kicking its body to pieces.
"Kieeeek!!!"
Kid me dreamed of being a death metal vocalist. Aunt's utter disgust and our family situation killed that dream... but now, I'm free of those chains.
I knee-kicked away while belting out the screaming practice from my youth.
And then, something shifted.
"Eek...!"
"Sssik...!"
The remaining Little Blue Ghosts backed off, slinking away!
Whoosh!
They bolted into the darkness!
"You fuckers...!"
They ran in the end!
Rustle.
Confirming they were gone, a breath exploded from my mouth as victory joy surged.
"I won! I fucking won!"
Thought I was done for! Heart pounding like it might burst, ragged breaths heaving. I won. Above all, I survived. Me, in the murim world, beating yokai and living to tell.
"Hoo!"
I really did it. Soloed a Little Blue Ghost pack, then scared off the stragglers with sheer presence. Exhausted, I collapsed where I stood.
"Urgh...!"
Clothes shredded, but the reward will be sweet. On the verge of passing out from fatigue, but thinking about spending the cash made me grin. Can't blow it all, but in this crazy murim, gotta manage stress—treat myself to fancy food, grease the wheels in my gut, right? Otherwise, I'd lose my mind.
"Gongbao chicken!"
Gongbao chicken—basically Central Plains fried chicken. Battered chicken stir-fried with veggies, nuts, and sauce. After a win like this, I deserve it. Been craving it bad. Ah... drooling already.
"Ah."
Anyway, midnight battle over. But I fought so hard I'm drained. Need a break before I crash. Concentration slipping means blackout incoming.
So I got up.
"Hmm."
Little Blue Ghost corpses scattered everywhere. Not a single intact one—smashed, splattered, bloody messes. Hit me how ferociously I'd fought.
"I had that kind of potential all along."
Thinking back, I'd beaten plenty of humans too. No way these scrawny shits could take me even in a swarm.
Time to clean up. Paid gig, can't leave the site wrecked or I'll catch hell. Dragged the corpses together for disposal. Bloodied ground? Rubbed dirt over it.
"Let's see. Eight down total?"
Counted at first, but went into a trance and just kept killing. Snapped out—way more than expected.
"..."
So many dead yokai. Thought yokai were mystical, but nah. Two skulls for heads, spew ghostfire—kinda spooky—but rest is bones, flesh, blood. Killable.
Ah. Edible too?
Starving me thinks that way. Meat and hide—could grill or boil, right? Decent size, good yield.
But key question: safe to eat yokai meat?
Flicker.
Torch handy—test it?
"Nah, fuck that."
Gave up. Poison? Dead. Don't eat random shit. Ask someone later. Meat's a waste, but 200 wen makes it fine.
"Heh heh heh."
Finished cleanup, dragged my weary ass to the shed, and flopped down. Rest first. Air's crap, but roof's a blessing. Drunk on victory, I closed my eyes.