Okhwa Geom Namgung Serin #5: Those Crazy Fucking Skullheads!
Those were insane fucking skullheads! No, seriously—actual skeletons! Skeletons standing on two legs, their jawbones clattering as they shuffled toward us! Sure, they looked like total dogshit, and since I'd seen plenty of that crap in games, it wasn't some mind-blowing shock. But watching real skeletons move around on their own was a whole different level of surreal horror.
"Clack."
"Clack clack."
Skeletons walking!!! Actual skeletons walking!!!
"Aieeeeeek!"
I couldn't help but rip at my hair and scream. And I wasn't the only one—tons of the ronin around me let out terrified howls too.
"Ha! Don't lose your shit, you worthless fucks!"
The platoon leader's bellow snapped me out of my panic. "Bone-Horn Ghosts are classified as the weakest yokai out there! Even if they're crawling out of a labyrinth, no need to freak! Yeah, there's a shitload of 'em, but we can handle this!"
Low-grade yokai? Right. Thinking about it, there was no way those bony skull bastards could be strong. If skeletons were badass, wouldn't that make living people with muscles even more OP? Logic checks out.
"Go smash 'em!"
At the platoon leader's shout, the ronin shook off their fear and raised their weapons. But then I spotted something weird. The Bone-Horn Ghost mob looked... off. Like they were decked out in ancient armor from some ruin? And some even had flags attached.
"Wait, Platoon Leader! Those fuckers have flags!"
"Flags? Ah. Yuan Dynasty soldiers, then."
"Yuan Dynasty?"
"Doesn't matter—they're just remnants of a fallen empire. The Yuan troops that once terrorized us Han are a joke now! Go kill 'em! Avenge our ancestors! Hurry up!"
I might not know much, but it was obvious these undead Yuan pricks were weaker than us living folks.
"Waaaaah!"
"Raaaaah!"
I charged in roaring with the other ronin. Honestly, seeing these crazy skull bastards actually shambling around was so fucking terrifying I felt like collapsing. But that fear fueled my rage, helping me keep my head straight.
Like hell these punks were gonna beat me. No fucking way. I won't lose.
"Hah!"
I launched myself forward like a total badass. "Die, you bony fuck!"
With a mighty kiai, I slammed my kick right into a Bone-Horn Ghost's ribcage.
Crack!
The bones shattered to pieces, and the skeleton crumbled. "What...?"
Even for me—with Taekwondo 3-dan and some Eight Extremes Fist—a one-shot kick? That meant these bastards had paper-thin durability. Weaker than Little Blue Ghosts HP-wise?
"Kuk kuk, nice and brutal as always. Still, smash 'em to bits. That's the only way they stay down."
"Oh yeah!"
Jae Mi-son said he'd fought these before. If he could handle 'em, no reason I couldn't.
Wham wham wham!
I tap-danced like a maniac, scanning around. Crack! Jae Mi-son jabbed his I-sang Je-go into one skeleton's ribs, hooked the blade, and swung it wide to smash a bunch more.
"Waaaaah!"
"Die!"
The ronin hacked away wildly with swords and fists, pulverizing the Bone-Horn Ghosts. I jumped in, smashing more. Just like that, dozens of Yuan remnants got wrecked by our ragtag ronin crew in seconds.
For how scary they looked, their combat power was pathetic.
"We won! Woooh!"
I grabbed their rotten Yuan flag and roared in triumph. In ancient wars, a unit's banner was its lifeblood. I'd crushed a Yuan army! These shitty skeleton fucks!
"Good work! No need to fear Bone-Horn Ghosts from labyrinths! Kill every one that shows up!"
The platoon leader, who'd watched our fight, gave the order.
"Got it!"
"Yes sir!"
This platoon leader seemed solid. Yeah, he was violent, but that's standard for pre-modern Murim types—and perfect for leading ronin scum like us. Plus, he gave spot-on intel and boosted morale. No doubting his command skills. He was as respectable a warrior as Song-ssi.
"Platoon Leader! Secured the enemy banner!"
"Eh, don't need that."
"Your leadership is incredible! With precise info and sharp orders, we crushed the Bone-Horn Ghost legion effortlessly! Truly amazing!"
"What? Hmph, obvious stuff. Unlike you ronin rabble, I got professional training from a clan."
He grinned, flattered by my bootlicking. Schmoozing loosens people up, opens doors to useful info. Essential tactic.
"What's your nickname, Platoon Leader?"
"Pi Ri-ja Mun Hyeong-gi."
"Pi... Pi Ri-ja?! You mean the...!"
"Yeah. Even ronin trash get it."
No clue what it meant—first time hearing it—but I acted impressed, and Pi Ri-ja's lips curled up.
"But isn't Pi Ri-ja from the Namgung Clan?"
"Hm? What're you on about?"
"Figured a clan warrior meant Namgung blood."
"Nah, not always. There are units like that—like the Spearless Squad of branch family, or Spear Palace Squad of direct line."
Pi Ri-ja spilled more, in a good mood. "We're outsiders, basically hired combat unit."
Turns out, he got scouted as a teen, got martial arts and pay in exchange for absolute loyalty to Namgung Clan. Unit name: Ha-cheon-dae. Okhwa Geom Namgung Serin's personal squad—she's basically their company commander.
"Can a ronin like me join the clan's outsider combat unit if I prove myself?"
"Possible... Break's over! Moving out!"
"Yes sir!"
We marched on under Pi Ri-ja's lead, smashing Bone-Horn Ghost packs effortlessly—like vacuuming the labyrinth.
* * *
Soon we linked up with the vanguard: Okhwa Geom and Ha-cheon-dae warriors. They didn't look battle-worn. Probably scouted ahead and left cleanup to us ronin? Either way, they seemed right at home in this maze.
"Good work, Pi Ri-ja. Any issues?"
"None, ma'am! Smashed over a hundred Bone-Horn Ghosts, gathered materials! All clear!"
"Understood."
As Pi Ri-ja reported loud and clear, Jae Mi-son and I chilled nearby.
"Hoo, Geun-hyeop."
"Fairy?!"
"Made it, huh? To this labyrinth's depths?"
"Damn right we did."
I answered grimly; she matched it.
"Impressions of your first labyrinth dive?"
"Scary at first, but seeing you feels like spotting Jijang Bosal in hell. Heh heh."
"Apt description."
"Smashing Bone-Horn Ghosts was kinda fun too."
Truth: mobbing up and wrecking weakass yokai felt like a dungeon crawler game. Kinda enjoyable.
"Suits you. But stay sharp from here."
"Huh? More ahead?"
"Bone-Horn Ghosts are just reanimated corpses from graves—not true hellspawn."
True hellspawn?
"Found the path!"
A warrior shouted. "But Hungry Ghosts block it—breaking through'll take time!"
Hungry Ghosts?
"Take positions. Lure and eliminate."
"Yes ma'am! Everyone, positions!"
Clan warriors scattered with lightness skill; Pi Ri-ja yelled at us ronin. "Follow me!"
"Yes!"
"Yes!"
We hit a good chokepoint. Looking at the formation... felt like us ronin were the meat shield.
Wait.
"Hey! Jae Mi-son! We're the fucking barricade, aren't we?!"
"Kuk kuk... Finally caught on, huh."
Son of a bitch!
"Hungry Ghosts incoming! They're hell yokai demons, but aside from numbers and savagery, they're worthless trash! Slaughter every one that charges!"
"Yes!"
"Yes!"
"Yes!"
Of course! Couldn't be all easy Bone-Horn Ghosts!
"Hungry Ghosts?!"
What kinda yokai? The Buddhist hell ones?
Asked Jae Mi-son; he knew vaguely but never seen 'em.
Shweee!
Whistling arrows flew—lure team's signal.
"Hungry Ghosts lured! Get ready—they're coming!"
Pi Ri-ja shouted. Then.
Thud thud thud!
Thud thud thud!
Thud thud thud!
Rumbling from ahead. I swallowed hard. What the hell were Hungry Ghosts?
"Here they come!"
"Hungry Ghost swarm!"
"Hungry Ghostsss!"
Then I saw 'em.
"What the fuck!"
Grotesque as hell. Some crawled, some ran bipedal—pure Hungry Ghost vibes. Massive heads mismatched to skinny bodies. Necks thin like ducks', ribs poking out from starvation-skinny frames. Arms and legs bony twigs. But bellies bloated unnaturally, screaming endless hunger.
"Hungry, hungry! Hungry, hungryyyy!"
"Food food food fooood!"
"Meat, meeeeat! Meat meat meat!"
And they talked! Mad hunger screams! Starved maniac legion charging with gaping maws and bulging eyes!
"Fucking horde of 'em!"
Terror rose watching the rush. No wonder they needed ronin fodder. To counter yokai mobs, you need numbers. Use us as shields to cull the Hungry Ghosts...!
No fear! Pump the rage to win!
"Song-ssi would...!"
Song-ssi'd butcher 'em mercilessly! Gotta be like him!
"Raaaaah!"
"Aaaaaah!"
"Kee-yaaah!"
And so we clashed with the Hungry Ghost horde.