Let's Collapse the Small Labyrinth (1)
Things had gotten a bit out of hand.
No matter how skilled an adventurer was, managing an entire Small Labyrinth single-handedly was impossible on a personal level. So Bella decided to hand over the land to the guild in exchange for cash.
And the result?
"The vice guild master says she needs to come check out the Small Labyrinth herself."
"V-Vice guild master...!"
Just as Bella said, the mere mention of the vice guild master coming to inspect it personally made my stomach churn with tension. To a simple office worker like me, a vice guild master felt like someone from a whole different world.
"That's what she said, Vivi! If you act all cute, maybe she'll value it even more highly?"
"Ooh~ Those slender ribs~"
"Look at these skinny legs!"
"Eek...!"
They were the party members who'd tackled Countess Tung's request alongside Bella. Worried that monsters might pour out from the Small Labyrinth, they were guarding the entrance until management arrived. But they didn't seem tense at all—instead, they focused on pinching and groping me all over.
"Still, it would've been better if no Small Labyrinth had popped up. Then we could've just signed the contract with Vivi and made it all legal... Heh heh."
"Drool much, you slut."
"You were looking forward to it too."
"...True that."
"No napping!"
A fat lady came waddling over, her belly jiggling. It was Piggy Countess Tung, who'd given Bella this land as payment. She had a bunch of armed women who looked like her private guards in tow.
"H-Hey, folks. I think I was a bit rude earlier, so I brought cash. Double the original payment!"
"Huh? Now?"
Bella clicked her tongue in disbelief. The countess had realized the land she'd handed over was worth far more than she'd thought and come rushing back in a panic. She probably never imagined a Small Labyrinth would appear on her own property.
"Hey, lady. You signed the contract yourself. No take-backs."
"B-But this is so unfair! Handing over an entire gold-spewing mine for just one request? Does that make any sense?! Right?!"
Unfortunately, not a single adventurer agreed with Countess Tung. Desperate, she turned pleading eyes to me.
"Right, receptionist sir? You thought it was fair without a Small Labyrinth too, that's why you wrote up the contract!"
"Y-Yes, thaa—mmph!"
"Lady! Stay away from our Vivi!"
"Don't even look at him! That sticky stare'll ruin his skin!"
I actually wanted to void the deal too, so I'd been about to agree with her. But Bella and the adventurers hugged me tight, muffling me completely.
"Sigh... Always so noisy right from the start."
Another new face appeared. A woman with mature beauty, a voluptuous figure, and long, pointed ears that stood out. She was stunning, but her eyes carried a strict, prickly edge.
"And who the hell are you?!"
"I'm Helen, vice guild master of Tragodia. You're Countess Tung, I presume?"
"Yeah!"
"It's natural to feel wronged about this incident. We'll arrange a separate meeting later, so how about heading back for today? We have our own schedule."
"Later? How do I know when that'll be?! If you don't offer some compromise right no—"
"Sigh... Countess Piggy."
Helen cut her off with a heavy smile.
"This isn't the Empire. Even as a noble, you won't get imperial protection here."
"What?"
"Meaning, if a noble enters a Small Labyrinth and 'goes missing' in an accident, no one will investigate or take responsibility for you."
Countess Tung's face drained of color as she grasped Helen's words. Bella and the adventurers started snickering. They looked like innocent kids itching to play a prank.
Her private guards were no match for proper adventurers. In the end, she had no choice but to slink away without another word.
"Sigh... I prefer peace and quiet. How did things blow up like this?"
"Sorry!"
I rushed up to the clearly annoyed Helen and bowed deeply.
"It seems like I broke protocol and pushed things forward on my own, messing everything up! I'm truly sorry!"
Helen was the vice guild master in charge of guild members' welfare and support. I'd heard she valued the current peace over changes or growth. So maybe she'd be more concerned about the conflicts a Small Labyrinth would cause than any profits.
"......"
"......"
No response from Helen, so I peeked up. She had both hands over her mouth, her eyes trembling.
Was she that mad?
"Kid... You're Vivi, right?"
"It's Vivaldi, not Vivi..."
"Oh my god! How can there be such a cute little thing?!"
"Eek."
Unfortunately, she wasn't mad at all. Helen grabbed my hand and dragged me off somewhere. She plopped her butt on a nearby rock and sat me on her thick thighs.
"Scouting talent, spotting value... I imagined some balding middle-aged businessman type with great instincts."
"Ugh..."
What the hell kind of weird imagination was that?
"Hey! Hogging Vivi like that is no fair!"
"You've all had your fun with him till now. Share a bit with aunty."
"Eek...!"
Helen wrapped her arms around my lower belly. Powerless male that I was, I could do nothing but sit still. Embarrassed, I clasped my hands in front and bowed my flushed face.
"How did I not know the guild had such a cute kid?"
"I-I don't go to the tavern much... I don't like alcohol..."
Helen usually managed the guild tavern, so she rarely crossed paths with me, who stuck to the reception desk and office.
"That's 'cause you haven't tried good booze. Want aunty to teach you?"
"N-No, I'm fine..."
"Aunty! Let go of Vivi and get to work!"
"Jeez, no breaks at all. Will you show me around, Vivi?"
"Y-Yes..."
With Bella and her party urging her on more insistently than seemed normal, Helen stood up. She released me but kept a firm grip on my hand.
I led her by the hand to the pit that was the Small Labyrinth entrance.
Helen chatted with Bella, looking thoughtful.
"Hmm, even from the entrance, this looks like a pretty big Small Labyrinth. We'll need to clear it out first, but that won't happen overnight."
"Once we sweep it clean, we could make a killing just selling the byproducts, right?"
"If that was the plan, the guild master would've sent someone else instead of me. She wants ideas for long-term use."
"Makes sense. Otherwise, that fierce bitch would've come. But long-term for a labyrinth? Unless it's as ridiculously huge as the Great Labyrinth, how?"
"Just to check if it's possible. Owning a Small Labyrinth is statistically absurd enough—wiping it out quick would be such a waste, don't you think?"
"Huh... Yeah, when you put it that way. Otherwise, it'd just turn back into worthless land."
"But aunty here has no ideas popping up. Looks like someone else needs to check it ou—"
"I'll do it!"
I cut into their conversation.
"I'll come up with a plan."
"Huh? For real?"
"Vivi's gonna solve this one too?"
Seeing them light up without a hint of doubt made me want to sigh. My reputation in the guild had apparently skyrocketed to absurd levels. Meaning I was farther than ever from getting kicked out.
"Some people came to mind while listening."
But if I shattered their expectations this time—proved my judgment was worthless—maybe they'd think twice about putting me in any important role? Even if not banished immediately.
* * *
"Welcome back, Vivaldi-nim."
"We've been waiting."
"Allow me to take your coat."
"Uh?"
The moment I returned to my office, three Maries bowed in unison. One approached to remove my coat, another wiped my forehead with a handkerchief, and the third combed my hair with a brush.
"Uh, you don't have to do all th—"
"Were we... too much...?"
"Other adventurers grope you freely, so we thought it'd be fine..."
Their intentions felt a bit off, but seeing all three deflate at once made me uncomfortable too.
"N-No, it's not a burden. You're already working hard enough."
"It's no hardship at all."
"For the one who first believed in me, this is the least I can do."
Having them look at me like some benefactor was the real burden. I only hired you because I didn't trust you, after all. No, focus—now's not the time.
"Marie, could you ask Haru to bring some documents? I need to pick someone for an important task."
"Understood. Shall I have her bring the guild member roster?"
"No, not just the roster. Ask for the guild member disciplinary records."
"...Pardon?"
Of course it'd sound weird—picking someone for an important job but asking for disciplinary records. But this time, I needed to drag in someone who'd cause a disaster no one else could handle.
The three Maries tilting their heads in unison was oddly cute.