Let's Embezzle the Budget (2)
"……I'm gonna die."
"Are you tired, sir?"
"Need a massage?"
"Want to touch my wings?"
"N-no……!"
A groan slipped out from me amid the mountain of paperwork before I could stop it, and instantly, all three Maries reacted.
Now, just the sight of wings made me flinch. Though to be fair, with so many Maries around, wings were everywhere I looked.
"……Vice Guild Master Vivaldi, I can't take it anymore."
"Eek! No wings!"
"That's not what I meant. Let me give you a massage."
"No groping my body either!"
"Not that! I really just want to ease your fatigue, purely."
"……Ugh."
"You don't trust our goodwill……?"
The Maries all made sad faces in unison, and my mental defenses crumbled in an instant. But I was the guy who'd decided to become a villainous boss to get kicked out of this guild. I had to hold out!
"……Please……."
I failed to hold out…….
The Maries grinned like their sadness had never happened and swarmed around me. One reclined the back of my executive chair, while two others flanked me on either side.
……The phrasing feels off, but Marie here doesn't mean "head" like counting animals. I'm not some bigot who discriminates against other races.
"Then, let's begin."
"……Ooooh?!"
The Marie who'd laid me down kneaded my temples and forehead with her fingers. A refreshing sensation hit like my eyes were snapping wide open, and a moan escaped my lips.
"Hehehe, feeling better?"
"Y-yes……."
Marie was clearly fighting back laughter. Even I thought my reaction was embarrassing—my face burned.
She kept massaging my head and nape. The cool relief swept down my spine, but I clenched my teeth to stifle any more weird noises.
"Ooooh……!"
"Hehehe…… Your body's so soft, I won't go too hard."
But when the two on either side started on my hands and shoulders at the same time, I couldn't hold back. Being massaged by three at once sent chills beyond imagination racing through me.
"Hnnng……?"
I melted into their hands like jelly when the office door suddenly opened—two more Maries had arrived.
"Wh-what are you planning……?!"
"We want to massage your legs too."
"Mind if I take off your shoes?"
"N-no……! They'll stink……!"
"They won't."
"Doesn't bother me anyway."
"Ooh?!"
No way they don't stink, but the Maries kneeling on either side started rubbing my feet anyway. With my whole body pinned, kneaded, and stroked, I lost all sense.
"Haa……."
"Hehe, you look so relaxed."
In total defeat, body and soul, I went limp like a jellyfish, melting away. Drowsiness tugged at my eyelids. If I dozed off like this, I'd probably dream of escaping the guild and heading home happy.
"By the way, Vice Guild Master Vivaldi."
"You mentioned visiting Kali and the smithy."
"Ah……!"
Those words jolted me upright. One Marie straightened my hair from behind, another fixed my clothes, and yet another slipped my shoes back on.
"The prototype for that item I commissioned in the guild's name is done today! I have to go see it!"
"You look thrilled."
"Must be important."
"Yes……!"
The thing that might vaporize the guild budget and get me exiled for it!
* * *
I'd planned to go with just Kali, but somehow the secretary Maries tagged along too. Made sense for secretaries, I guess? Anyway, arriving at the smithy left us all stunned.
The smithy was gone—just a pile of splintered boards where it had stood.
"Hah? What the hell? Did monsters raid it while I wasn't looking?"
"I-I don't know."
"I don't care about the smithy, but what about the vehicle we ordered? Our guild funds?!"
"H-how should I know?!"
The budget evaporated with the smithy? That might work too.
"Do you know how much we poured in? The Guild Master will flip! What do we do?! If there's not even a scrap made, I'll kill you first!"
"Eek……! Th-the prototype's right there!"
"That thing?!"
Pale-faced Kali looked ready to murder me, so I spilled the truth. I'd seen it unfinished before, so I knew it was the prototype—but to her, it probably looked like scrap from the collapsed smithy. At least they made something; she wouldn't kill me.
"Oh, Vice Guild Masters, you're here."
Bella strode out, beaming with confidence over that heap she called a car. The blacksmith followed her.
"Wh-what happened? Why's the smithy……?"
"Don't worry 'bout it. Needed materials, so I dismantled the smithy gear."
"Budget short……?"
"Nah. Had to use what was on hand. Especially needed the magic stone furnace."
"Hah? Why shove a magic stone furnace in a car?"
"'Cause it runs on magic stones."
"Not processed fuel—just raw magic stones?"
"Made it that rough!"
It sure looked rough. Like a massive monster overall. Monsters resemble rotten-wood reptiles; this was rotten iron instead. And huge—beyond high-grade, into top-grade monster size.
Kali ground her teeth, looking uneasy.
"……That thing actually moves, right? Otherwise, you two die here."
"Eh?! Y-you said as long as we made something……?!"
"Made that and call it something?!"
"D-don't worry, Vivi! It moves for sure! I'll show ya!"
"You explain here. I'll drive."
"What?! Stealing the fun part!"
"Busted!"
The blacksmith dashed excitedly to the "car." Moments later, its massive front leg stirred.
Thud!
The ground shook as it stepped forward, lifting me briefly.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
Far faster than I'd imagined, it charged down the wide road on its legs. Pedestrians fled screaming like a high-grade monster was loose.
"What…… It actually moves……?"
"Haha! Legs instead of wheels means it handles rough terrain wheels can't!"
"Oh……."
Kali rubbed her chin, impressed. I gnawed my nails anxiously. Things couldn't go this well again, right? How the hell did it even work?
"I see a few issues, though."
Guild Master Veronica commented, watching the vehicle speed by.
……Wait, Veronica?
"Eek?!"
"Guild Master?!"
"Guh?! When'd the Guild Master get here?!"
"Welcome, Guild Master."
Kali, Bella, and I yelped in sequence while the Maries bowed politely. Veronica ignored us, focused solely on the vehicle.
"First, you said it uses raw magic stones, not processed fuel."
"Y-yes."
"That means way worse fuel efficiency than normal vehicles."
"Indeed……."
"Second, is that its top speed?"
"Uh…… No wheels, so……."
"Doesn't look much faster than a standard one."
"Mmm……."
"Third, capacity?"
"S-six……?"
"Triple a normal vehicle. But ten times the size—can't even enter most villages."
"Ahem……."
"So the only edge over normal vehicles is terrain handling, but at higher cost and more magic stones."
Veronica turned from flustered Bella to me. Her exoskeletal armor hid her eyes, but her gaze was surely icy.
"I came because the budget was absurd for such a brief report. And this is what it made?"
"I-it's an investment for the future……!"
"I get developing tech could lead to commercialization. Patent it somewhere, and Bella could make bank. But this is Labyrinth City—no such institutions—and Tragodia needs combat-ready vehicles now."
Every point was spot-on. She meant to pin this on me. Was this the moment I'd wished for?
"Heh."
Suddenly, Bella shifted gears, flashing a smile that chilled me to the bone.
"Guild Master. One advantage offsets all those flaws."
"What?"
"You'll see."
We all turned back to the vehicle. It halted with an exaggerated, waddling stagger—like readying a running jump.
I felt despair flood my face in real time.
"N-no way……!"
BOOM!
It slammed its front legs down, pushed off with reverse-jointed hind legs, and leaped sky-high—so far I wondered if it'd ever land. At peak height, wing-like membranes unfurled from its front legs like a monster's patagium.
Using them as a glider, it descended steadily toward the ground.
"Remember that flying high-grade monster we caught? Made 'em from its wings! Covers serious distance airborne! Not just terrain-proof—it ignores terrain!"
"Bella…… Is this a dream……?"
"Kuhahaha! Dreamlike, right?! Even I think so!"
Veronica and Kali gawked skyward, dumbfounded. I prayed this moment was a dream.