Becoming the Guild's Disgrace (1)
It seems my work life has gotten even more tangled up.
"Ah, h-hello. Haru."
"Yes, Vivaldi-nim. Good morning. Hehe."
Haru greeted me with an innocently puppy-like face. If I act awkward, her eyes turn fox-like and it's downright scary. From the start, with me—the supposed superior—greeting her first, the power dynamic was already set.
"Welcome, Vivaldi-nim."
"...H-hello, Marie."
The Maries at the reception desk greeted me in unison. I wanted to bolt straight to my private office and hide, but I'd been the one who declared I'd handle business here from now on. With no choice, I sat down at my spot, only for Marie to approach.
"Vivaldi-nim. What do you think?"
"Y-yes?"
"I added some flower decorations to my wings. Pretty, right?"
Marie flapped her wings lightly. The pure white feathers adorned with vibrant flowers were stunningly beautiful, and I nodded cautiously.
"Yes..."
"Pretty enough that you want to touch them again?"
"N-no...!"
"Hehe. Why so surprised? It's fine if it's you, Vivaldi-nim. I've already let you touch them before."
I recoiled in horror, but Marie just laughed mischievously and backed off. Touching a Lumi's wings was already an outrageous rudeness, but a Lumi offering them up was even scarier. I couldn't fathom why she wasn't offended—in fact, she was acting even friendlier than before. Was this actually normal etiquette I'd misunderstood? No way.
I'm... totally done for...
On the surface, my subordinates treated me like a superior, but I couldn't bring myself to treat them like inferiors. How was someone like me supposed to lead administrative duties as acting vice guild master? No, I shouldn't even be thinking about doing it well. I just needed to leverage my total lack of qualifications, screw everything up, and get kicked out of the guild. That was the plan. So why was everything going so smoothly? Wait, smoothly? No, not smoothly? I couldn't even tell anymore.
"Hey, Pippy!"
"It's not Pippy, it's Viv... not Vivi either, it's Vivaldi."
Vice Guild Master Kali showed up today in her usual intimidating outfit. She slammed her foot on my desk and glared down at me.
"I've got stuff to talk about later, so let's grab lunch together."
"L-lunch...?"
"Yeah. Lunch."
I seriously, truly, with every fiber of my being, did not want to go. Tragodia was the guild most often tipped as Labyrinth City's top contender. And Kali was its acknowledged number two. A mere receptionist like me eating in front of her? I'd probably puke from the pressure before I could swallow a bite.
"D-do I have to go?"
"Hah?"
"I'm not in a position to take orders from you, Kali-nim..."
"Haaa?"
"Eek! I-I'm just... really busy with work...!"
Realizing I'd die if I kept acting cocky, I switched to a lame excuse. It wasn't even a lie—lunch was always a quick snack amid the mountain of tasks. Just looking around my desk, I'd built a sturdy fortress of paperwork.
Kali glanced at the mess, clicked her tongue, and turned toward the reception desk.
"Marie."
"Yes, Kali-nim."
"You said you wanted to be Pippy's dedicated secretary, right?"
"That's correct."
She said that too?! I didn't want to get any closer to Marie. Not with the guilt from what I'd done and the pressure from her attitude. I shook my head desperately, begging her not to, but she ignored me completely.
"Can you handle it while keeping up with your current duties?"
"Not with my current capacity. I'd have to drop two clones from reception..."
"Pull three from reception for Pippy duty. Requests are piling up because of this guy anyway. At this rate, we'll get indigestion trying to process them all."
"Understood. Thank you for your consideration."
"Start helping Pippy right now. Problem solved, right, Pippy?"
"...Yes..."
Working even closer to Marie made my stomach churn. But with my workload clearly about to lighten, I couldn't lie about it. Not that it'd change my midnight quits. Unable to find another excuse, I nodded.
Kali spun on her heel and vanished into the guild hall. Marie beamed at me happily, but I averted my eyes. Two Maries began dividing my tasks as my secretaries, while one whispered in my ear.
"Vivaldi-nim, want me to massage your shoulders?"
"N-no thanks. I'm good."
"I just want to touch your body, Vivaldi-nim."
Her blunt intent sent chills racing across my skin.
"Eek...! No! Don't...!"
"It's okay if you touch me, but not if I touch you?"
"Urk...!"
"I'm curious—where on a human do you have to touch to be called rude?"
I spent the entire workday tormented by Marie's teasing.
* * *
Kali was a monstrous eater. She shoveled massive amounts of meat into her mouth at breakneck speed, the chomping sounds vivid in the air. The restaurant staff sweated bullets hauling out more food, but she devoured it faster.
Come to think of it, the stronger someone was, the more they ate—that made sense. Greater power meant greater fuel consumption.
"What're you doing? Eat."
"I already finished..."
"Hah? I was bulking up for an important meeting. You're way too scrawny."
"Important meeting...?"
My frail, diminutive male stomach couldn't handle much of that greasy meat compared to Kali's. Still, it was satisfying to indulge in fresh offal dishes after so long.
Kali chugged grape wine from a tankard-sized glass.
"Kuhhh... You're smart, right?"
"Eh? No... I think I'm just average."
My mature mind let me learn faster than most, but my ceiling matched theirs. If I were truly smart, I wouldn't have fallen for the money and joined this black company.
But Kali scowled, displeased with my answer.
"Don't play humble, it pisses me off. Anyway, the 'Council' is coming up soon."
The 'Council' was where Labyrinth City's guild reps gathered to discuss matters. Since the city wasn't under any nation's jurisdiction, it wasn't official.
"You'll go with me as Tragodia's reps."
"What?!"
"Why so shocked? Guild Master's busy with external stuff, so vice guild masters going is standard."
"I'm not a vice guild master, just acting..."
"Same difference."
Labyrinth City drew powerhouses from everywhere. Guild reps were the ones leading them. Me, at such a huge event? No way.
"Wh-what about Helen-nim?"
"She was gonna go, but Guild Master picked you instead. Said it'd build your external experience."
Natalia, the secret vice guild master unknown even to most members, wouldn't attend publicly.
"Natalia won't show her face, but she'll be nearby."
I hadn't asked, but Kali anticipated it.
"I'm just a musclehead who only knows fighting, so I suck at talking in those spots. Helen always handled it; I just stood there looking tough. So you handle everything."
"M-me?! How am I supposed to..."
"If you screw up and embarrass me too, I'll kick you out of the guild."
"Please, leave it to me!"
Her words thrilled me—I shot to my feet without thinking. A powerless, witless newbie tarnishing Tragodia's name there? They'd have to exile me. Exactly what I wanted.
Startled by my pathetic male outburst of bravado, Kali leaned back slightly.
"Wh-what? So confident. Heh. Yeah, that's what a Tragodia vice guild master should be."
"A-acting..."
"Same difference."
Snapping back to reality, embarrassment burned my cheeks. I clutched them and sank into my seat.
* * *
Arriving at the Council felt like an invisible pressure crushing me to death. A few dragged-along male admins like me were there, but far more women reps dominated. Their auras were no joke—I might pass out if I didn't stay sharp.
"Who's that guy next to Kali?"
"Never seen him before."
"Urgh..."
As Tragodia's rep next to Kali, people whispered about me. Big guilds got prime front seats, so I was on full display. Tension knotted my gut; cold sweat poured. Kali? Lounging back asleep like it was nothing.
"Everyone must agree the Monster Protection Association's growing nuisance is a headache. Let's discuss countermeasures."
The chairwoman kicked off the agenda.
"What countermeasures? Just kill 'em all!"
"Exterminate every last cockroach!"
"Monster protection is insanity!"
"Why should we put up with those bastards?!"
Resentment erupted like a waterfall the second she finished. The chairwoman wanted council decorum, but these were all fierce adventurers.
"Tragodia's rep Vivaldi—your thoughts?"
Silence fell when she called on someone. I waited ages for them to reply.
"Vivaldi?"
...Wait, is that me?
"Y-you called me?!"
"Yes, you."
"Uh, well..."
"Come forward and speak."
She pointed to the central podium. Every eye in the hushed chamber pierced me like arrows.