Chapter 19 - Broadcast Break
Broadcast Break
Translator : Elizabeth
Chapter 19. Broadcast Break
I stood naked in front of the small mirror hanging in the bathroom. An ideal object where abundance and holiness intersect exquisitely was seen.
Under the dim light of the electric lamp, I slowly scanned my own body.
Arms and shoulders, sides and legs, etc…. There were no large tears on the surface, but bruises and scratches left here and there caught my eye.
“Haa….”
Beauty deviating from common sense enough to make libido and awe coexist. The scars engraved there made me sigh automatically.
A sense of guilt as if I handled something incomparably precious carelessly pricked my conscience.
‘If it scars….’
As such thought flashed through my mind, my chest felt tight for no reason.
I didn't know how to do makeup, but that didn't mean I neglected management.
Because I decided myself that at least this appearance, I wouldn't let collapse. That was the reason I didn't stop exercising even when repeating binge eating due to trauma.
Then it suddenly came to mind.
The moments exercising while directly recognizing each muscle with the Hermit card. Minute pain, fatigue, and the recovery following after.
‘Thinking about it… exercise is also eventually breaking down, and making anew.’
Physical training was also eventually a repetition of the process of intentionally damaging the body and recovering it. If so, wouldn't wounds be the same.
I immediately opened the search window. And started looking for information about scars one by one.
Tadak, tadadak.
No need to understand completely. Just need to know the core.
“…Indeed.”
The reason scars remain as the wound gets deeper was simple.
When flesh tears, the body tries to fill it urgently, but in that process, it cannot restore the original skin structure as is. Prioritizing sturdiness like urgent restoration work, it becomes uneven.
Conversely, if the wound is shallow or the recovery process is organized, the body can restore close to the original appearance taking time.
In other words.
Neither too fast nor too neglected, the balance between inflammation and recovery was important.
‘…If it’s this.’
I thought it would be sufficiently possible.
Anyway, it was a broadcast break for the time being. Meaning there was no target to read fortune for using energy separately.
So energy that would remain anyway, it was right to invest entirely in myself now.
I sat on the floor and crossed my legs. Calmed my breath, and gathered two hands in front of my belly. Stood the Hermit card between them.
‘First let’s check the state.’
Started with diagnosis first.
As I slowly calmed my consciousness, my body condition gradually emerged as a sensation. Scratches on the surface and epidermis level wounds. Things like this were no big problem.
However, a few places on arms and legs. Bruises formed by deep impact. Parts of minute muscles and blood vessels inside were snapped strand by strand and crushed.
‘Have to be careful here.’
Drew only a very little bit of Hermit’s power. Didn't try to force the wound to heal. Just focused on organizing the direction for the body to recover itself.
Not to swell, not to have excessive heat.
Not to let blood pool, yet not to let it flow too fast either.
Like untangling tangled threads one by one. Feeling of just paving the way so the body can move forward itself. Like combing hair, trimming the texture of tissue.
Roughly about 30 minutes. Didn't do more than that.
According to the researched data, accelerating metabolism blindly could rather grow scars. What is more important than fast recovery is correct recovery.
“Phew.”
I exhaled and withdrew Hermit’s power.
Like this twice a day. Morning and night.
‘Roughly a week… should be enough.’
If it’s this much, the scar problem seemed likely to be roughly solved.
‘Then, now….’
Next is it.
Now it was time to face the problem I really have to think about seriously.
Trauma.
To speak honestly, I didn't expect it at all.
I really didn't know this would be rooted this deeply, that I would be influenced to this extent.
But at least this one thing was clear. That I shouldn't just leave this neglected.
I could easily think of the simplest countermeasure.
‘…That would be moving house.’
In Korea of an era like these days, it wasn't common for a blackout of this scale to last this long. Actually, it was because this neighborhood was a daldongne.
Old wires, unmanaged facilities, a structure submerged in darkness entirely if one thing goes wrong. The environment itself was already an extension of anxiety.
But to move, I had to face people. Real estate, contract, neighbors, manager. Just thinking about it suffocated me.
‘Not yet… I am not ready for that yet.’
Then suddenly So-young's face came to mind.
Arcana of Temperance. Meaning each other could become each other’s helper.
I already received contact information and made a promise. I should try bringing up the story while continuing the relationship with her slowly.
‘Let’s not be too hasty. No matter how daldongne it is, it doesn't blackout several times a month.’
Then now, next method.
That is exactly overcoming it myself.
Of course I know.
That trauma isn't something one can overcome at will just because one wants to. That wasn't a problem that could be solved with just will.
Nevertheless, there was one clue held in my hand.
‘Hunger. That was the core.’
I recalled the time I returned home receiving So-young's help.
Even then I was definitely hungry. Very familiar sensation. But strangely, all nerves didn't focus only on hunger like usual.
The reason was clear.
Pain.
Physical pain was pulling me halfway forcibly to reality. Thanks to that, the fantasy inside the 16th-century prison, and the hunger that made that fantasy vivid, felt somewhat lacking in reality.
Until now, even knowing this was a symptom close to illness, I didn't dare deny that hunger. Since the act of eating itself was a joy in its own way.
Since it was a sensation grasped in hand too easily.
But now I know. That hunger was the fuel adding vividness to the fantasy.
As long as I realized that fact, I couldn't act like before. I decided to try controlling hunger by regulating diet.
Just in time, there was a realistic reason too.
Money in hand wasn't that ample. There is about ten million won not applied for withdrawal, but. It was already settled a few days ago. Couldn't touch it for the time being.
“Mm. Rather worked out well.”
Looking around the house once, such a thought occurred for no reason.
Thanks to ordering delivery too often all this while, there was nothing lacking anyway. Refrigerator was full of food and daily necessities were also organized by type.
Just need to be careful of expiration date. Then at least for the time being, I will be able to live without any problem.
“Phew.”
I exhaled slowly.
Since I made up my mind, execution starts from today.
Regulating diet was smoother than expected.
I ate food dividing it to match the daily recommended intake as much as possible. Matched the ratio of protein, carbohydrate, fat roughly at least. Cared not to miss vitamins and minerals too.
It was closer to the sensation of replenishing just enough necessary to maintain the body rather than filling the stomach.
Of course, trauma wouldn't be ignored that easily. Sometimes hunger that couldn't possibly be filled raised its head abruptly. At such times nerves stood on end and became sensitive to fingertips.
Feeling like somewhere in the head, not the stomach, was empty.
So I intentionally focused on other work. Just in time, there were two tasks worth doing.
||[Jang Ju-hyeok]———||
.
.
.
[Jang Ju-hyeok]: I know profundus means deep, but in medical terms, the nuance seems a bit different.
[AjinYu]: The etymology is pro (forward) + fundere (to pour), so rather than simply deep, it’s a feeling of ‘spread inside’. Often used when explaining blood vessels or muscle layers.
[Jang Ju-hyeok]: Ah, so that’s why it’s used with superficial.
[AjinYu]: Correct. Superficial is shallow on the surface, profundus is structurally settled inside.
[Jang Ju-hyeok]: Pronunciation is pro-pun-dus, right?
[AjinYu]: Stress is in the middle. pro-FUN-dus. With text this is the limit… hm.
||——————||
One of them was the Latin etymology investigation assignment requested through Rollbook by a Hallym Medical School undergraduate named Jang Ju-hyeok.
Although I explained meaning or usage via messages so far, pronunciation indeed had limits. Because of subtle length and stress not conveyed by text.
So tried exchanging audio files too, but the process of recording, sending, listening again, and correcting was more troublesome than thought. Eventually, decided to organize at once via call today, the day before presentation.
Ttururururu. Ttururu….
Phone connecting sound rang a few times, and soon a voice tinged with nervous signs was heard.
—Ah, hello? Yu Ah-jin-nim… right?
“Yes. Hello.”
—…Wow, real.
“Jang Ju-hyeok-ssi. Is assignment preparation okay?”
—…Ah, ah ah. Ah, yes! But pronunciation is still a bit confusing. Especially here….
Hearing my voice, he showed a reaction as if drunk hazy for a moment. As I brought up the assignment story to that, sound of hurriedly turning paper was heard. Probably materials organized in a notebook.
—First this corpus and corpora part. When I read it keeps becoming weird….
I caught my breath for a moment, and spoke slowly.
“Corpus is close to ‘Kor-pus’. Strength goes into Ko. On the other hand corpora is ‘Kor-po-ra’. This time the middle Po comes alive a little more.”
—Ah… ‘Ko-rpus’, ‘Kor-po-ra’. L, like this?
“Yes, good. It’s okay now. And this word will probably come out together too. Corporalis. This is ‘Kor-po-ra-lis’. Don't read too fast, divide syllables.”
—Kor… po… ra lis.
“A little more softly. As if breathing once at ‘Po’.”
Sound of reading along again and again was heard over the call. Pronunciation stiff at first became natural gradually. As tension released, confidence started to be tinged in his voice too.
—Wow… Hearing like this it’s definitely different. Couldn't get a sense when looking at messages.
“Latin is much easier to learn by sound. When presenting too, if pronunciation is stable, the listener will also trust more.”
—Wow, really thank you. Survived thanks to you. By any chance can I buy you a meal in return?
I laughed lightly and said.
“No.”
—Ah, uh, yeees….
Even after hanging up, lingering feeling remained for a moment.
As head filled with words and pronunciation, felt like hunger tormenting me until just now stepped back a step.
Having work to focus on was bigger help than thought.
And here one more task.
Among anonymous people who sexually harassed me, there was an existence who would cause big repercussion in near future.
The protagonist was a woman named Seo Yoon-chae.
In near future, she bursts MeToo exposure against famous composer TigerLead. However, that wasn't truth, but intentional false accusation.
The problem was timing.
TigerLead was the figure who made the finale song of girl idol survival program The Idola, currently hot topic. That song was already being talked about by public and hitting big, and many people were hanging expectations on that success.
Exposure spread in an instant.
Before truth was determined, public opinion already confirmed result, and due to that aftermath countless people suffered loss. Investment, contract, broadcast programming flipping in a row, all responsibility leaned to one person.
TigerLead, real name Joo Dong-su. His end shown by divination was too miserable.
Suicide.
And Seo Yoon-chae continued daily life as if nothing happened after brief self-reflection.
Divination ended like that.
Recalling that fact, nerves sharpened by hunger rather subsided coldly.
If do nothing, this future will be realized as is.
‘…Just getting annoyed for no reason.’
…I caught my breath and opened donation site.
Raised scroll to the very top.
First donation received. Amount one million won.
Divination fee from person I read fortune for in Tarot Gallery before starting broadcast. He seen with Tarot at the time was president of small to medium entertainment agency Quarter Note.
That person also didn't have direct link with Joo Dong-su. But was industry person, and above all person who believed my Tarot.
If this much, condition was sufficient.
Sent mail. Didn't write long.
And reply returned surprisingly fast.
————
Sender [email protected]
Watched broadcast.
Actually I was just worrying whether to contact you first.
Can we talk by phone?
……
———
Phone number was written at the end of mail.
I called right away without hesitation. Since we were looking at mail mutually, signal wasn't long.
“Hello?”
Soon, a woman’s voice flowed out.
—Yujin-nim right?
“Yes. President of Quarter Note, Seo Hyo-ju-ssi right?”
—….
Short silence.
Opponent probably knew my Tarot skill roughly. But naturally wouldn't have imagined it would be to extent of pinpointing identity accurately.
She asked with trembling voice.
—…Can you know even such thing, with Tarot?
“Well?”
I smiled and said.
“Maybe I did background check.”
—….
Joking was up to there. Entered main topic immediately.
“In near future, a false MeToo incident causing great harm to industry will burst. Due to characteristic of false accusation, if prepare well in advance proving innocence won't be a problem.”
Over receiver, Seo Hyo-ju stopped speaking for a moment. Short breathing sound. Sign of worrying was evident.
—If it’s such matter… it would be a lie if I said I don't want to help.
She continued cautiously.
—But MeToo movement, often becomes tool dividing enemy and ally brainlessly.
That word wasn't wrong.
—I don't intend to defend those trying to bury innocent people. However I am representative of a company. I don't want to dare make enemy first that wouldn't arise if I stayed still.
And she threw a very realistic question.
—Reason you found me on broadcast, you said it’s because among surrounding people I am the only link that can be connected to that incident. Not because I am the party involved.
Brief silence.
—That word means, I won't be greatly influenced by that incident soon. Yet is there reason I must help you?
…Head nodded automatically.
Right word. To move with just sense of justice, she had employees to take responsibility for.
Actually.
[THE EMPEROR]
Emperor Arcana flashing through mind informed that her inner thoughts lay not in turning away derived from selfish mind, but in prudence as one bearing responsibility.
Like first divination, she was a serious person in many ways. She.
So I took out words prepared in advance.
“I said earlier, gives big damage to industry.”
—Yes.
Caught breath for a moment then continued calmly.
“Large Enters (Entertainment companies) too, won't be free from that aftermath. But what if.”
I said recalling future.
“In that moment everyone is troubled, a person holding key to solve that situation appears.”
—….
Short silence.
“Value of person holding that key… just how much would it be?”
—….
Emperor does not move carelessly.
But at the same time.
Existence that can lead army and cause war if justification is equipped was exactly Emperor.
Even while resting from broadcast, day by day flowed faithfully.
Recovering wounds, managing diet, translating Latin, spending time preparing for someone’s misfortune.
Amidst that.
Knock knock knock knock.
Knocking sound rang beyond front door.
[THE DEVIL]