Time to Dice 'Em Up
Let's just dice 'em up. ……………
Threat Isolation Facility: Multiple escapees detected in several sectors.
Multiple escapees. All agents, immediately—
Oof. Did I set this off earlier by smashing through that door?
……Gotta pay for damages? It was called a multi-phase barrier or something. Sounds insanely expensive just from the name. I'm totally on the hook for this. And I don't have a single cent in my account—wait, I don't even have an account.
My head was starting to spin when one word from the mechanical voice caught my ear.
Multiple escapees.
……Huh? Multiple? That means more than one.
So, not just me—other guys broke out too.
Aha. Looks like a bunch of delinquents busted out of their cells together. This is a group jailbreak, so my share of the blame is just 1/N. The bigger N gets, the smaller my cut. If things get chaotic enough, I can just slip away in the mess.
Yeah. I'm innocent here. If anything, I'm the victim in this escape fiasco. I was just peacefully taking a stroll when these troublemakers kicked up a fuss and put me in a bind.
Flawless logic. Phew. Feel ten years younger already.
Anyway.
I'm worried about these two in front of me.
Standing before me are the wonderful people who just gave me those delicious cookies and pie. They're totally freaked out right now. I can taste the fear from here.
Well, yeah. Fragile Homo sapiens hearing a monster breakout alarm—gotta be terrifying.
They gave me cookies and pie, so……I should repay the favor, right?
I reached out with both hands and grabbed each of their arms—one per side. The more petite one's arm is slim but firm. Pretty toned. The long-haired one's is softer.
Their eyes both snapped to me at once.
I'm right here. I poured that meaning into my gaze.
With pure sincerity, it'll get through.
The effect was immediate. They both froze solid.
See? We must be at the point where our hearts connect through glances alone. The power of cookies is truly incredible.
[That's probably just terror-induced paralysis—]
Quiet. Something's coming.
Thud. The floor vibrated. Footsteps. Incredibly heavy ones, coming fast. Short intervals. It's running.
From down the hall, heading straight for the break room.
Thud, thud, thud— Getting closer.
And then.
BOOM! The break room's steel door exploded inward with a deafening crash.
Filling the doorway was—a musclebound behemoth, easily over 3 meters tall.
Whoa, it's huge. But its mug is straight-up vicious. No head where a head should be—just empty neck. No skin either. Raw red muscle exposed, twitching and flexing with every bundle of fibers contracting and relaxing.
With a face like that, wouldn't it scare itself in the bathroom mirror at night? Oh, wait—no eyes, so no mirrors for it.
The headless muscle monster strode into the break room. It beelined straight for the two of them. No eyes, but dead accurate.
Its right arm reared back huge.
A fist. Bigger than a human head, flying at my precious snack provider's face.
Ack, danger! Let's switch spots real quick.
SPLAT!! Like a metal club smashing a boulder.
The brute's massive fist slammed right into my crown.
Wait, this setup feels familiar. Like that meme where someone goes 'Be quiet!' and flicks the forehead. Just not painful, and my head didn't dent. Just a sensation like someone resting a hand on top.
Second fist incoming.
Thwack. Left cheek. No feeling.
Third, fourth, fifth.
Thwack-thwack-thwack-thwack.
This thing's got no brain, so no smarts either? Keeps punching even though it's useless.
Hmm. Starting to get annoying.
I stood there taking it and pondered.
This guy's different from humans. Homo sapiens are so useful. They make tasty durian chocolate cookies, fluffy beds and blankets. They speak complex languages, laugh, cry. I can even taste their emotions.
But what is this muscle lump? Just stupidly huge, smashing doors. Can't talk to it. And now it's wrecking the break room with pointless punches.
Utterly useless. Time to make it disappear.
[Hey! I've got a good idea!]
One thought popped up in a corner of my mental world. Looked just like the other little thoughts, but with fierce eyes—super aggressive vibe.
[Just dice that thing up!]
Dice it up? Like potatoes or carrots in curry?
Not a bad idea. No knife right now, though.
[I've got a way! Use your hair to—]
Ah, got it. Like that. Okay. Let's do it.
I moved my hair just like the fierce-eyed thought suggested. Dozens of strands from my waist-length purple locks shot up into the air.
They crossed and tangled in an instant, forming a net.
And.
Whoosh.
The hair-net sliced clean through the muscle monster's torso. Like thread through tofu—no resistance.
0.1 seconds. Hair back in place.
Swish.
0.3 seconds. "…………!!"
The beating stopped dead.
1 second. Monster still standing.
2 seconds—crumble crumble crack.
The muscle monster started falling apart. 3-centimeter cubes. Uniform little blocks of muscle tumbling to the floor like collapsing Lego.
No blood spilled. Each cube's surface was seared brown, like grilled meat. The friction heat from hypersonic hair-crossing cauterized the cuts instantly.
Very clean.
[Woooow!]
[Amazing!]
[No blood!]
The thoughts in my mental world jumped around clapping.
I smiled inwardly too. Blood splatter would've meant a pain to clean up. And staining my snack providers' clothes? Unacceptable.
I did it, but damn fine work.
I kicked lightly at the piled muscle cubes and glanced at the still-frozen women.
Locked eyes with the more petite one (still bigger than me, though).
Relax. It's fine now. I nodded lightly with that intent.
She stared down at me like she was entranced, unconsciously nodding back.
Oho. This one's got great communication skills. Catches my consideration and kindness without words.
A prime Homo sapiens. We can hang out whenever I've got time.
Just a quick exchange of vibes, but it felt oddly nice. Different from chocolate cookies. A warmth in the chest, not the tongue.
Alarm still blaring. Thuds echoing from down the hall. Other guys on the loose, probably. Better tidy up.
Can't let my snack providers get hurt.
I left the break room. Pat pat.
…………
Out in the white hallway. Pat pat.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Racket assaulting my eardrums from somewhere.
Toward the end of the hall—the massive blast door sealing the Threat Isolation Facility entrance.
Closer look: Situation's pretty bad.
Four, five……seven. Delinquents from the cells swarming the door, going berserk.
Door's thick as a castle wall, but the combined impacts are denting the surface bit by bit.
[That blast door's way weaker than the multi-phase barrier that held you.]
The glasses-wearing thought whispered.
[Just a reinforced version of the one you ripped open earlier. At this rate of physical damage, it'll break in under 10 minutes.]
10 minutes.
If it breaks, these guys hit the surface. People up there—and in the building. Cookie-makers could vanish.
No way.
【Attention.】
I said it short and sharp.
The pounding stopped dead.
All the entities turned to me. Ones with eyes used eyes; eyeless ones, their whole bodies.
They're watching. Good.
【Wanna live? Back to your cells. Execute.】
Realized after saying it: "Back to positions, execute"—total soldier talk.
Must've imprinted from my Homo sapiens days at the Threat Management Agency, hearing it daily.
Anyway, my words hit, and some delinquents reacted hard.
First, the mushroom-capped chimp—Rice Weevil—flopped flat on the floor. Hands pressing its mushroom hat down, body hugged to the wall, it slunk past me to the side.
Desperate not to touch me. Good boy. Go on.
Not just Rice Weevil. The smarter or quicker ones—Peeping Eye, Super Small Annoying Thing, etc.—shivering, returned to their cells on their own.
Hmm. Interesting. One word flattens humans into froth, but these guys get it without passing out.
Why?
[Obviously. They're not human.]
The lab-coat thoughts explained.
[They can grasp the cosmic hierarchy in your voice……simply put, the food chain.]
Food chain?
[Little fish flee whales or sharks. You're that to them. Instinct recognizes top predator.]
[So smart or sharp ones swallow pride and obey. Don't wanna die.]
Aha.
But every crowd has the dumb, slow ones.
Unlike the slinkers, a few bared teeth at me. Spiky-tentacle guy swinging, acid-drooling slime charging, etc.
Annoying.
Like with the muscle monster, dozens of purple hair strands shot up, net formed.
Sliced through the charging monsters' torsos.
Crumble crumble crack.
Some to muscle cubes, some meat cubes, one to jelly cubes.
Ooh, jelly cubes are pretty. Gem-like.
Anyway, situation sorted. Delinquents back in rooms, disobedient ones cubed.
Now what? Walk done, pests cleared. Boredom creeping back.
Weeeeooo—!
The ceiling's blood-red emergency lights flipped blue. Speakers chimed calmly.
Support arrived?
No time to think—the blast door to the Threat Isolation Facility started opening.
Rumble rumble grrr—!
Door that shrugged off monster pounding slowly parted from inside pressure.
Someone stepped through the gap.
Flaming red hair—dyed. Ruby-red eyes, heterochromia. And a tube top and leggings barely containing an explosive figure.
Me, kicking cubes near the door, and the all-red Awakener locked eyes in midair.