Pyongyang Cold Noodles Flavored Snack Provider
………… Threat Management Agency underground level 12, unmanned vending area. To execute my grand plan of borrowing all the snacks before any thief could steal them, I boldly opened the door.
[Hurry up!]
[There's a chocolate roll cake in the corner over there!]
[Pink bag! Strawberry flavor too!]
[We gotta stuff them all into sub-space!]
The little accidents bounced around wildly in my mental world, starting to whine. Yeah, let's hurry. Before some shameless thief shows up, I need to evacuate all the snacks to a safe place――
Hm?
Something was stuck right in the middle of the checkout counter. Normally, there'd only be the scanner for ringing up snack barcodes.
A big A4 sheet of paper. At the top, there was a drawing. A little agent in a suit, tears streaming down their face, rubbing their hands together pleadingly. The art style looked familiar somewhere. Deformed to about three-head proportions, super cute.
Please, just take a little from the vending area!
If dozens of bags vanish every day, we can't even expense it as operational costs!
We're begging you! The vending area's about to get shut down over embezzlement suspicions!
Gasp. There's some unconscionable jerk swiping dozens of snack bags every day without paying. Gotta be the same thief who raided the special materials vault. My internal wariness toward this mystery phantom thief shot up three levels.
[Bad thief stealing from the vending area! The snacks are ours!]
[Let's catch 'em and dice 'em up!]
Led by the fierce-eyed accident, the little ones chimed in agreement. Yeah, yeah. Anyone daring to threaten my precious snack supply source is unforgivable.
[But what's with this mountain of snacks piled up in our sub-space?]
That's when one blank-faced accident piped up out of nowhere.
[Shh! This is a totally legit indefinite interest-free unsecured loan!]
[We'll pay it back later!]
The other accidents quickly clamped its mouth shut. Right, we're fundamentally different from thieves. We're borrowing; thieves steal.
At the bottom of the paper, smaller text continued.
For the one who really needs snacks, we'll set aside a daily VIP complimentary basket.
Please don't clean us out too bad…… If the vending area closes, we'll starve on night shifts……
VIP complimentary items? I glanced down, and there was a big basket on the floor next to the counter. Inside, neatly packed: two bags of Three Run Balls, one bag of potato chips, one bag of Magic Mountain, and one bag of Turtle Chips.
Why's this here? Who could "the one who needs snacks" be?
No clue. Whatever. What matters now is this: the vending area's on the brink of closure because some thief is raiding the shelves. This is my eternal source for indefinite interest-free unsecured loans!
This is a disaster.
[……So should we just take a few bags from the basket for now?]
The glasses-wearing accident suggested cautiously. Yeah, good idea. Even if the VIP complimentary basket is for some nameless VIP, it says complimentary, so I can take it, right? I scooped up the whole basket and shoved it into sub-space. Loan complete for today.
…………
Back down to my nest, the Threat Isolation Facility. Not my room, but straight to the CCTV monitoring room. Han Min-seo and Yi Gyu-rin are on duty today, so time to check in.
The monitoring room lights were off. But the glow from the monitors kept it from being pitch black. Han Min-seo sat in front of what looked like dozens of screens. No sign of Yi Gyu-rin. Probably shift change patrol. Han Min-seo must be on monitoring break duty.
But he wasn't watching the monitors. He was staring at his smartphone propped up on the desk.
"Whoa…… Hana's amazing……."
Hana? Yeom Hana, right? What's got him so impressed?
Sneak. I crept up behind him and peeked over his shoulder at the phone screen.
On Han Min-seo's smartphone: a super familiar app. Xwitter live stream. Looked like a news channel broadcast.
The anchor's voice leaked out, not too loud.
[Pfft]
[Mom dispenser at that size? Baby's gonna be chubby lmao]
[Could feed septuplets no problem]
[Low-class losers tsk tsk]
[lollll looks like he only reacts to boobies]
[Boobs get a pass tho]
[?]
[Hey hey hey]
Text poured down like a waterfall, scrolling up as fast as it appeared. Humans type so quick.
The news screen switched back, anchor continuing.
Ooh. That's the stuff Shin Chang-seok told me to spin convincingly over the phone earlier. The Agency folks whipped up an excuse fast. They handle business well. Good job.
Han Min-seo's thumb scrolled the screen, pausing on the slo-mo replay. Yeom Hana's upper body filling the frame.
"……Hana's that…… looks like the footage from the audiovisual records……?"
Han Min-seo muttered to himself.
"No way, the armor she was wearing when the Outer God ate her and spat her back out?"
Yep, yep. I upgraded that to Neutronium, made it tougher and prettier, added transformation to compress into a choker. That's me.
Han Min-seo, thought you were just a pretty face who freezes up with no instincts. But you've got good memory and sharp eyes. Reward time for the excellent snack provider who nailed it.
Crumple. I tore open one of my legally borrowed vending spoils and held a piece to his lips.
Zone-out mode from the screen, he unconsciously opened his mouth at the crisp touch on his lips.
Crunch.
The salty potato chip chew broke the monitoring room's silence.
"Mm, didn't your senior say no snacks 'cause you're gaining weight――"
Chewing, he turned, eyes locking with mine.
"――Gasp."
Brief freeze. His pupils dilated, shoulders hiked, fingers gripped the phone tight.
But――that was it. No freak-out squeal or tumbling backward.
"I-it's you. Haha. Out for a walk?"
His wild pupils forced focus, an awkward smile tugging his lips. Heart rate over 140, but he kept cool on the surface.
Whoa, check out this snack provider. Mentally tougher and faster recovery than A-rank Yeom Hana.
Come to think of it, first time we met in the break room, he didn't lose it or foam at the mouth. His senior Yi Gyu-rin had dilated pupils, though. Looks delicate and soft, but tough core inside. Like a petal with a single sinew.
Plop. Dropped the potato chip bag on his lap.
Then poked the phone screen with my finger. Slo-mo Yeom Hana in Neutronium Suit, frozen.
Next, pointed at myself. Index finger to chest. Poke.
Screen Hana. Me. Hana.
Alternating points, shoulders shrugged way up.
See? I did it. Pretty awesome, right? You'll get it without me saying. You're quick on the uptake. Praise me already.
"Uh……."
His eyes darted between screen and me. Got it soon enough, mouth agape slightly.
"……No way, you gave Hana that armor?"
Yes, yes! Finally caught on. Now pet me. I shoved my head forward.
"………."
Silence dragged, pressure building wordlessly. Only one way to end this standoff.
Finally, his palm met my crown.
Pat, pat.
Hm. Lukewarm. Like dipping hands in bathwater forgotten since morning till lunch. Not hot, cold, sweet, or bitter. Just tepidly damp.
Far from Tera Chad and Yeom Hana's scorching charcoal flavor, or the agents' bittersweet hot cocoa resolve facing death.
Conclusion: this is…… hesitation and reluctance incarnate.
Not delicious by any flattery.
But not flavorless either. This bland tepidness has its own "flavor." Like Pyongyang cold noodles' subtle charm.
Yeah. Unique enough to acknowledge.
I nodded vigorously, and faint relief trickled from his hand.
This guy's a fun snack provider.
Patting done. Hand off my head, silence returns to the room.
"……Phew."
Han Min-seo sighed. A deflating one, expelling all lung air and shrinking his diaphragm.
"Outer God. You probably can't understand stuff between humans anyway……."
Hey, what insolence. I'm a Homo sapiens expert. Endless TV from no sleep, Yi Gyu-rin's manga piles, eavesdropping agent chats.
Anyway, his tone screams vent session. Thinks I won't get it.
I see his game. Using me like a confessional priest to spill his guts.
This'll be fun. Spill your secrets, snack provider. This Outer God girl will listen.
Crumple. Popped a potato chip in my mouth. Spectating ready.
Hehehe.