I Want That Massage Too
What a relief. What an absolute relief!
"Kyle!"
After the mentally grueling saint training session had finally ended, and once the morning lectures were over, Tisha came running toward him from up ahead in a single bound.
There had been the dinner gathering yesterday, and the conversations they'd shared afterward as they wandered here and there. Of course some of it had been about shamanism, but they'd talked far more about other things—how each of them had been living, what they planned for the future, and what they needed to do to get there. Having shared such deep conversations, the sense of growing closer had become unmistakably strong. Thanks to that, Tisha seemed to have gained a bit more confidence and was approaching him more proactively now.
"Looks like morning lectures are over?"
"Yeah. And looking at you, Tisha, you're headed straight for the library, aren't you?"
At Kyle's words, Tisha let out an "Ah" and gave an awkward little smile.
"It's fine to go research shamanism, but don't skip meals. We made a promise yesterday, remember?"
That had been the condition Kyle set after dinner yesterday while they talked. It was fine to read the shamanism texts he'd recommended this time, but she wasn't to skip sleep or skip meals. The main point had been to take proper care of her own body while studying shamanism.
Why would you skip meals? It's not like you're trying to lose weight.
Whether she was chewing chicken breast or nibbling salad like a rabbit, at the very least you had to eat something at mealtimes—that was Kyle's firm belief. Going completely hungry was something to avoid. Even if you were trying to lose weight, you still needed to take in the necessary nutrients. Otherwise your body would fall apart completely. Recovering a wrecked body once it was ruined was incredibly hard!
"I said if you break the promise, I'm confiscating the books."
"Th-that's not allowed! Absolutely not!"
"So don't skip meals, no matter what. Got it?"
At Kyle's words, Tisha gave a small nod. Having someone else worry about her meals was something that hadn't happened in a very long time. No—it was practically a first. So it felt a little unfamiliar, but it wasn't exactly a bad feeling either.
"And after dinner, come to the gym... I mean, the indoor training hall."
"Huh? Uh... after dinner I was going to head straight back to the library..."
"Don't skip meals. Don't cut down on sleep. And there was one more, wasn't there? What was it?"
"Exercise..."
"Right. You asked me to teach you how to work out, Tisha. So you've got to do it."
It wasn't like Kyle had suggested it first—Tisha had asked him to teach her. So he was simply going to do his absolute best to teach her what exercise really was. There would be no quitting or dropping out midway. Even if it was just one hour a day, it was mandatory.
"Don't think of it as time stolen from reading. To read books you have to sit for long stretches, and being able to sit that long ultimately requires good stamina. If your body is in bad shape, do the contents of the book even sink in?"
"They sink in for me, though?"
"Really? Even when your shoulders are all stiff and your back is aching—you can still manage?"
"Uh... th-then it might be a little tricky."
"Exactly. Basic exercise is essential. People like you, Tisha, who have to sit at a desk for long hours, need it even more! Understand!?"
"Eh? Ah, yes. Yes!!"
As he launched into his passionate speech, the saint naturally came to mind—that woman who was always just kneeling and sitting there, praying and offering thanks to the gods. And if she ever had to go somewhere, she always rode in a carriage so her figure wouldn't be carelessly exposed, or something like that. Even now she was already suffering from severe lack of exercise. If her health collapsed even once, it would be a real disaster. Saint or divine power or whatever—if the body's balance was wrecked, none of it would matter.
"Ah."
Suddenly Tisha let out a small gasp. Then her face scrunched up hard—and there was only one reason for a reaction like that.
"Ian."
"Kyle."
It was the sudden appearance of Male Lead Number One, who hadn't been seen much lately.
Coming to pick a fight with Tisha again? You really are something else.
From his own perspective he was probably trying to show interest, or just have a light chat. But to anyone watching, it was nothing more than barging in and picking a fight on the spot. It was only because it was Tisha that she put up with him to some degree even with that cold tone. Anyone else would have drawn a sword, flung magic, or just straight-up cursed him out.
"...?"
But today, Ian's reaction was a little strange. Normally he should have fixed his gaze on Tisha standing beside Kyle.
"...."
Today, though, his eyes were locked precisely on Kyle, not Tisha.
What's with this bastard? Don't tell me he thinks I stole his girl?
Strictly speaking, you couldn't even call it stealing. The concept didn't apply at all. Had Tisha ever liked Ian? Looking at her now, she seemed so put off she didn't know what to do with herself. The one she was actually getting closer to was Kyle himself. So the current situation was more like this aggro-magnet expert was the one harassing them.
Or maybe he's woken up to something weird...
If that was really the case, you were getting purged on the spot.
"Kyle."
"What is it?"
Gripping his fist tightly, Kyle looked at Ian. If even the slightest suspicious sign showed, he planned to just deck him right then and there. If any trouble came of it, he could just say this guy started the fight first. In cases like that, the thicker suspicion would fall on professional provocateur Ian. Ah, of course he planned to go easy. Even if he was the protagonist, even if he was supposedly going to become one of the Ten Strongest later or whatever—right now Ian was just a first-year who was decent with a sword.
"Me too."
But the words that came out of Ian's mouth were of an entirely different sort.
"Huh?"
"Do it for me too."
"Do what for you?"
"That massage thing."
"...."
For a moment Kyle considered it. Should he just throw a real punch right now? More than that, how did this guy even know about the massage incident?
"What are you suddenly talking about?"
"The guy who used to pick fights with me every day started acting weird a few days ago. So I grabbed him by the shoulder to ask, and he had a seizure. Thanks to that, I was the one who ended up looking like the bad guy."
Apparently he'd found out about the thing that was written as massage but read as torture. But even knowing that, why suddenly ask to have it done to him?
"He told me. That when I grabbed him it didn't hurt at all. That when you grabbed him it hurt way more."
"...So?"
"So I want to know. Just how strong it was. Whether you're really stronger than me."
In short, Ian wanted to confirm whether Kyle's grip strength was truly greater than his own—whether what that senior who'd been picking fights had said, that Kyle's grab hurt more than his, was real. He wanted that part settled for certain, so he was asking for a massage.
"...."
When he heard those words from Ian, only one thought filled Kyle's head.
That's... the protagonist?
Then he revised the thought. More precisely, the former protagonist. Because from now on, he intended to become the protagonist of this entire story, of every current flowing through it. Right. That made it understandable. Yeah, yeah. Understandable... my ass, fuck.
"Have you lost your mind?"
In the end, Kyle couldn't hold it in and let it out. He'd been trying hard to avoid rough language so he wouldn't look like some muscle-pig thug. He couldn't let the carefully crafted image of "John Nassen's people turn out to be soft guys once you get to know them" get ruined. So the compromise he'd settled on was not "Are you crazy?" but "Have you lost your mind?" Honestly there wasn't much difference between the two, but still.
"Why are you suddenly cursing at me?"
Ian blinked both eyes and flipped Kyle's insides once more.
"Because asking for a massage out of nowhere, and the reason for it—neither is normal."
"I still don't understand which part of it isn't normal."
Ah, is that so? was the reply that practically wrote itself. So just as Kyle was about to deliver another heartfelt curse—
"Wait! Just a moment!"
It wasn't Tisha's voice, and it definitely wasn't Ian's—a third party's voice cut in. Kyle turned his head slightly and saw another student standing there. A face he'd never seen before, and the first thought that came to mind was, "Is that a guy or a girl?" Judging purely by the clothes it was a man, but if he just grew the hair a little and threw on a dress, he'd look exactly like a woman.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! Actually, Sir Ian was deeply impressed by Sir Kyle's strength! So he suddenly asked for a massage—please, if you could just give him that one massage and let it go, I would be truly grateful!"
The voice was an incredibly beautiful mid-tone as well. And unlike Ian, he started with an immediate bow upon approaching.
"And you are?"
"Ah! A pleasure to meet you! I am 'Nell,' the one who serves Sir Ian!!"
Sir Ian? And serves? What kind of bizarre nonsense was this now? Unlike the Ian standing over there, this one looked like a perfectly normal student. So why was he volunteering to walk into hell of his own free will?
"You've lost your mind! Who are you saying you serve!?"
Tisha couldn't take it anymore either and shouted at Nell. At that, Nell began with "That's just it!"
"I absolutely must become a knight... no! I truly wish to become a knight!"
"And?"
"A few days ago I was captivated by the strength Sir Ian displayed... and I wanted to learn from him! So I made the request, and he said it would be fine if I just stayed by his side! That's why I'm serving at his side like this!"
At Nell's answer, Kyle looked over at Ian standing next to him. It was a silent question of "Is this for real?"—but of course Ian didn't catch on at all.
Somehow, no matter how I look at it, it seems like he just said "you're in the way, so just stay next to me" or something.
More than that, this was another new character after Princess Yulika. Nell, Nell... damn it. No matter how hard he thought, it was a name he'd never heard before. Ian was a guy who got cursed out just as much as Kyle himself did—in some ways even more. If someone was suddenly appearing at that Ian's side, they had to be at least supporting-character level. And if they were even requesting teachings from that Ian.... Hmm, either something was wrong with them somewhere, or they had special circumstances. One of the two.
Past me who didn't read the main story. Thank you so much. Fuck.
Having a friend who at least seemed to have some manners attach himself to Ian's side—he wondered if he should consider that a fortunate thing. But that thought, too, soon vanished cleanly from Kyle's mind. Ian asking him to try the massage, Nell trying to stop that Ian, and Tisha wearing an expression of pure absurdity on top of it all. It was a moment when day after day was growing truly magnificent.