Earnestness
After sweeping the weekday three-game series against the Daegu Warriors, we set off on a weekend road trip riding high on momentum.
Our destination was Ulsan, so close to Busan you could practically touch it if you tripped. The opponent was the KBO's baby team, the Ulsan Carvers.
First game. Any petty suspicion that our hitters were only swinging half-assed when I was on the mound quickly evaporated.
Despite starter James Gilbert surrendering just one run over seven innings, he still took the loss. Our lineup, which had been scorching hot just the day before, looked utterly impotent against the Carvers.
"Tough day for James, huh."
I offered him some half-hearted sympathy on the team bus heading back to the hotel.
"Days like this happen."
Hitting's a cycle. Pitchers know that too, so nobody gets pissed over one game without run support. Still.
"Hoo..."
Like James, who let out an involuntary sigh of frustration, it was impossible not to feel a pang of regret from a pitcher's perspective. Sure, 'wins' don't mean much anymore when evaluating pitchers, but starters can't help obsessing over them.
That's why I'd made "20-win pitcher" one of my season goals.
Plus, for mercs like James or big FA pitchers, wins often trigger performance bonuses.
"Eh, someday I'll get a win thanks to those hitter bastards."
"Like senior Kwak Jaewoong?"
"Kwak's was ridiculous. Taking a win after 5 innings and 6 runs? Come on."
"No comment from me."
Honestly, I agreed, but I kept it short since it was about a senior.
"Oh, Yuha, you're reading the room."
"I'm just a rookie who joined this year. Gotta watch my step."
"You're awfully casual with someone way older than you."
Well, yeah.
"James said it himself. We're same-year rookies, so treat me casual."
"I did? When?"
"Spring training, in front of my uncle."
"Right. That's when I met my idol. Fine, Yuha, you can mock me for being the losing pitcher."
"Nah, not going that far."
Like I'd noticed since spring training, he had a pretty jovial personality.
"Anyway, I've already pitched, so whatever. But Rodriguez has me worried."
"Which Rodriguez?"
The Busan Titans had two Rodriguezes. Pitcher Rodriguez and hitter Rodriguez. Rodriguez is a super common surname over there—like, every MLB team had one when I played.
"Ha! Obviously Ivan Rodriguez. Why should I care about the hitters?"
So James was fretting over the pitcher, Ivan.
"Nah. Frank was just hitting grounders today too. Something wrong with him? What do you think, Yuha?"
"You know Frank had a multi-hit game plus a walk yesterday, right?"
"Shit."
Honestly, it was more convincing that Frank just hated James.
Wait, maybe not my place to say.
Frank had been quiet at the plate even in my complete game shutout on Tuesday. Anyway.
"Why Ivan? Is he sick?"
I asked why James was worried about Ivan.
"He seems to have a lot on his mind. His debut didn't go well, as you know."
"Ah."
Ivan's first start was against the Incheon Fighters, a powerhouse in the West. He got shelled nonstop by their big boppers and got yanked early. No wonder he was rattled after bombing his KBO debut. But.
"He'll figure it out."
"Cold."
"Tell him I believe in him?"
Truth be told, I wasn't too worried.
The others will take care of him.
Like pitching group leader senior Park Oseon or pitching coach Kim Pilsun. And.
"Honestly, the Carvers aren't that tough, right?"
The Ulsan Carvers in this series were a weak team. Back when the Titans were scraping the bottom, they were always battling us for last in the East.
"True. Their lineup's pretty porous. Easy outs except a couple guys."
James acknowledged it too.
"Of course, I lost to those easy outs. Hahaha."
He cracked a joke that wasn't quite a joke, laughing with a straight face.
He's playing it cool, but today's result clearly bugs him.
Anyway, it was a stroke of luck that Ivan's next start after a bad first game was against a weak team like the Carvers.
"If Ivan has a good outing against them, he'll get his confidence back quick, right?"
Nothing revives a pitcher's swagger like a quality start.
Though he might flop again.
But that's not my problem. Harsh, maybe, but reality.
"Why don't you go talk to Ivan?"
"Why me?"
Ivan, starting tomorrow, was resting at the hotel instead of coming to the stadium today.
"Give the poor guy some tips or something."
"Like I said, I'm a rookie this year."
"Oh, I've thought since spring training—you're no rookie. More veteran than me."
True.
"How about passing on one of your arsenal's pitches? He'd love that."
"Eh..."
I could teach him. I've never been stingy with instruction, past or present.
"You think he could use it right away?"
"Half-joking, yeah."
"If he's desperate enough, he'll come ask. Me, you, whoever."
But I'm not proactively helping anyone. Like most big leaguers.
Plus.
"I'm busy enough with my own shit."
"You, after a complete game shutout in your debut?"
Exactly.
"I said it myself."
"Yeah, I heard. ROY and MVP in one season? Meteor's kid, alright."
"Bingo."
I'd bragged about being the world's best this and that—if I flop, nothing more embarrassing.
"I'm up right after Ivan. No time to babysit him."
Saturday. In the Busan Titans' brass meeting room ahead of Game 2 against the Carvers.
"We shouldn't start Yuha tomorrow unless we have to, right?"
Unlike what I'd assumed, manager Jeong Hyeonho had no plans to pitch me on Sunday.
"He's still young. Gotta baby him."
He figured four days' rest after high school graduation was too much for Jin Yuha. Especially after throwing over 100 pitches for nine innings on Tuesday.
"Who can start tomorrow?"
But like the manager thought, subbing someone else for me came with issues.
"Jeong Sangwoo in long relief. He was in the rotation last year. Hasn't pitched this week."
"Sangwoo... iffy."
The fact that no one was a clear replacement for Yuha, and.
"Tomorrow's Sunday, perfect for piggybacking Sangwoo and Haeseong—one plus one—and burning the pen. Not bad."
"Any issues?"
"Well... today's starter Ivan doesn't inspire confidence."
"Tch."
Like Ivan Rodriguez, today's starter, not being acclimated to the KBO yet, etc.
The Titans had already dropped the series opener. Even if Ivan imploded early, they couldn't just hand over the game.
"If Ivan gets yanked quick again, we'll need Sangwoo or Haeseong up there?"
"Probably."
"What to do..."
Manager Jeong Hyeonho rubbed his temple, deep in thought.
"Shoulda kept a couple pitchers."
The Titans' rebuild started by dumping vibe-killers. The manager still didn't regret it, but moments like this brought a twinge.
"Nah, no way. We'd never have this team vibe with those guys. You know what they did."
"True. I couldn't stomach Yuha showing up late hungover all night."
Manager Jeong nodded vigorously at pitching coach Kim Pilsun's words.
"Tch... Coach Kim. How's Yuha's condition?"
"Perfect. Nailed bullpen today. Looks like a vet prepping. Where'd he learn that?"
"Still salty?"
"Nah, boss. Just praising."
After agonizing, manager Jeong decided.
"Ask Yuha if he wants to pitch tomorrow. If yes, he starts."
Yuha was too good a pitcher to rest just because he was a rookie.
I was in the middle of ribbing Jeong Hanseong, who was on the active roster but hadn't even debuted at the plate yet.
"Yuha. Skipper wants you."
Manager Jeong Hyeonho had summoned me.
"Hello."
"Hey. Feeling good, Yuha?"
"Yes."
After a quick check-in, he got straight to it.
"Wanna start tomorrow?"
It was a question that didn't compute from my angle.
"Wasn't it obvious I'd pitch?"
I'd assumed Sunday was mine.
"Was gonna go someone else, but..."
He relayed the meeting room debate.
"Hm..."
I always appreciated them looking out for me, but this wasn't what I wanted.
"...So I figured I'd ask you direct. Say the word, you're tomorrow's starter. Hate it? We'll scramble now."
Take your time, he said.
"I'll pitch."
I answered instantly.
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
No injury or anything—someone else on my mound? Ridiculous.
"It's my mound."
My mound is mine.
Sunday.
Thump thump! Clap! Thump thump! Clap!
My second start began.