The Okcheon Escort Agency
Escort agency.
Put simply, an escort agency was a delivery company of the Central Plains that came armed with real force. The escorts were the sword-wielding delivery men, and the chief escort was their captain.
In a wuxia world where public safety was a joke, moving goods or people meant exposing yourself to countless dangers, so armed strength was an absolute necessity for the transport business.
In the stories their status swung wildly—from the poor bastards whose cargo got stolen and who ended up begging the protagonist to save them, all the way up to the lofty figures who passed the imperial exams yet still chose to become famous escorts rather than take an official post.
I wanted to be an escort or at least a porter myself, once upon a time.
As a devoted wuxia reader who had gone completely broke, I once went looking for work at an escort agency. I figured that even if they wouldn’t let a nobody swing a sword, they could at least use me as a porter as long as I had a strong back. But a black-haired barbarian like me got cut at the document screening stage.
I had planned to work hard, quit later, and become the kind of ace porter that escorts obsess over. Those bastards. They missed their chance.
“What an honor to meet the famous escorts of the Okcheon Escort Agency in a place like this!”
I put on my most delighted face and spoke to the man who had introduced himself as the chief escort, surrounded by his armed men.
“Haha. You know of the Okcheon Escort Agency?”
“I’ve heard it’s an agency that places the safety of its cargo above all else, that stands against any danger, and that keeps its promised delivery dates with absolute fidelity.”
“You know us properly! Even a barbarian has heard of our renown—so all our hard work hasn’t been in vain!”
“Truly, that seems to be the case, Chief Escort.”
The chief exchanged glances with his men and smiled in satisfaction.
Actually, I don’t know you at all. I just praised the bare minimum any delivery company is supposed to do.
“To run into the famous men of the Okcheon Escort Agency and yet have it end on such a regretful note…”
I let the face of a salesman who had just watched a huge sale slip away settle over my features.
“Ah, well. Yesterday our porters bought some medicine that worked so well we wanted to give it to the escorts exhausted from the journey, but it turns out the stock is gone. A real shame.”
The chief sighed in genuine disappointment right in front of us.
Too early to feel regret. Medicine can always be made at an apothecary. I deliberately told them it was sold out.
I had earned the escorts’ goodwill while making sure they failed to achieve their goal. Perfect setup.
“If you don’t absolutely need it right this moment, there is a way.”
This was how you pivoted from a good impression into a better proposal.
“What way?”
“The local apothecary has simply run out of ingredients, so they can’t make more. If we move on to the next village, I can prepare the medicine for your escorts.”
“You’ll travel with us and even make the medicine? Hmm.”
The chief understood exactly what I was offering and narrowed his eyes at me with open suspicion.
Completely reasonable. A black-haired barbarian they had never met before offering to join an important cargo run just to make some medicine? Suspicion was the only sane reaction.
The only reason he hadn’t refused outright or drawn steel and demanded my real intentions was because I had buttered them up from the start and because they themselves had come with a purpose they had failed to achieve.
Good thing I have a trump card for exactly this situation.
My useless genetic cheat key, the one I normally can’t spend.
“Haha. How could a barbarian storyteller like me possibly make medicine? The young lady here will be the one preparing it.”
I met the chief’s eyes, then deliberately turned my head and guided his gaze toward Dang Hwarin, who had been standing silently beside me.
“And this is…?”
Purple hair, green eyes, a face veil that made her look mysterious—and she had just been manufacturing medicine. A man of the chief escort’s rank would immediately think of a certain clan.
That was exactly the association I needed.
“This is Young Lady Dang Hwarin of the Sichuan Dang Clan.”
“The Sichuan Dang Clan! An honor to meet you. I am Ok Dae-am, chief escort of the Okcheon Escort Agency.”
Look at that—he’d been casually using informal speech with me, but the moment the Sichuan Dang Clan was mentioned he dropped into the most respectful posture imaginable.
Of course he did. They were a Murim aristocratic family, and among those families the Sichuan Dang Clan sat firmly in the immovable first tier.
In the martial world, the great families were the absolute overlords of their regions. There was a reason only one of them existed per province.
Their martial arts might be ranked a step below the Nine Great Sects, but their wealth, power, and connections were beyond imagination.
In modern terms, it was as if a chaebol heiress had just appeared in front of a mid-level manager at a delivery company. Of course he had to show proper courtesy.
“…….”
Dang Hwarin said nothing, merely offering the chief a light, silent nod.
“Haha. Young Lady Dang Hwarin is rather shy around strangers.”
“I understand. Yet my knowledge is so limited that I have never heard the name Dang Hwarin before.”
The chief glanced briefly past her veil, seemed to grasp something, then turned back to me with a question.
“This is her first time out in the jianghu, so that is only natural. Have you by any chance heard of the great hero Dang Geoho?”
“Ah! Yes, of course I know of Dang Geoho of the Sichuan Dang Clan.”
“Young Lady Dang Hwarin’s master is none other than the great hero Dang Geoho. She was raised as the most precious treasure of her family, yet she has come out into the world this time wishing to use the pharmacology she has studied for the benefit of others.”
“Ah! So that is why she was selling such excellent medicine so cheaply. What a fine and virtuous deed.”
Believing she was engaged in pure charity, the chief offered Dang Hwarin a respectful little bow of admiration.
Dang Hwarin awkwardly accepted the greeting, then shot me a look that clearly said, What the hell is this idiot even talking about? without letting anyone else notice.
Just stay quiet. I’ve already greased the wheels. Using your bloodline on top of that makes the path a whole lot smoother.
“Young Lady Dang Hwarin dislikes it when people who come seeking her medicine leave empty-handed. As it happens we were planning to leave as well—how about we travel together as far as the next village?”
How about it? Just by traveling with us, you get even a small connection to the Sichuan Dang Clan. Hard to refuse, isn’t it?
“Young Lady Dang Hwarin… is this true?”
The chief carefully sought her confirmation. Playing the part of a quiet, demure young lady, Dang Hwarin simply nodded once.
“Ah! If you would truly do us that kindness, then I shall treat you both as honored guests of the Okcheon Escort Agency!”
Perfect. This is exactly why people use blood ties, regional ties, and school ties.
With the chief escort’s permission, we were able to join the cargo run heading toward a village near Yichang as official guests.
“Are you sure this is okay?”
Dang Hwarin sat in the rear of the cargo wagon loaded with goods and spoke to me in a still-dazed voice.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Everything you said was a lie! …Wasn’t it?”
Her voice started to rise, then she hurriedly dropped it to a whisper so only I could hear, worried the others might catch something.
“I explained this to you yesterday and you still don’t get it?”
I spoke with the exact tone of a tutor who had given a student all the exam answers the night before, only to watch them forget everything and flunk the next morning with a cheerful little giggle.
“Get what?”
“Did I actually lie about anything?”
“Uh… no?”
“You really are of Sichuan Dang Clan blood. Dang Geoho really is your master. You really were raised as the most precious treasure of the ‘family’ that shares your surname. Is it the ‘beneficial deeds’ part that’s bothering you? Selling an unobtainable Sichuan Dang Clan fatigue-recovery medicine at that rock-bottom price is already plenty beneficial.”
“That’s true, but… I’m not an official member of the Sichuan Dang Clan.”
“Hey. Drop the nice-girl act.”
“What?”
Dang Hwarin glared at me, a spark of real anger flickering across her face at the rebuke.
“Those Sichuan Dang Clan bastards are the ones who turned you into this. So what if we used the name a little? If it were up to me I wouldn’t just sell the name—I’d march into the Sichuan Dang Clan myself, drag out every last one of the sons of bitches who did this to you, and make them answer for it.”
“Bullshit. You don’t mean a word of that.”
How the hell did she know?
“Does it sound like a lie?”
When you’re caught, the only move left is pure shameless confidence. I looked her straight in the eye with a perfectly serious face and fired the question right back.
“Uh… for real? Is… is that true?”
When I refused to give her the denial she expected and just kept staring at her with complete assurance, Dang Hwarin’s eyes trembled. She suddenly dropped her gaze and ducked her head.
You’re welcome. I’m grateful too—your bloodline just bought us wagon seats.
“Anyway, all I did just now was advertise you the same way I did with the medicine yesterday. That’s not a crime, is it?”
“Yeah… yeah.”
If you’re going to agree, at least look me in the face while you do it. Why are you avoiding my eyes? Well, at least she understands. That’s something.
Once Dang Hwarin’s complaints evaporated, the journey became comfortable.
“Halt! Halt!”
Two days into our journey with the Okcheon Escort Agency, a loud voice suddenly roared from the head of the column.
What now? Landslide blocking the road up ahead?
“Hey, Kang Yunho. Be careful.”
Dang Hwarin scanned the surroundings with open wariness as she spoke to me.
“What’s going on?”
“Kwahahahaha! I was wondering who would be bold enough to carry cargo through here—turns out it’s the Okcheon Escort Agency!”
A booming voice that seemed ready to tear the mountain itself apart rolled over the escort run. As if they had been waiting for the cue, armed men also appeared at the rear of the column and sealed the road.
Bandits? I stood up in the wagon and looked toward the front to see what was happening.
Huh? That hair color… no way.
“If they get any closer I’m throwing every last hidden weapon I’ve got left, so you stay put for now.”
Dang Hwarin pulled out the few remaining darts she had and tensed up completely.
You really don’t need to get that tense about this.
“You put your weapons down and stay put instead.”
I calmed her with complete nonchalance.
“They’re bandits. Why the hell should I stay put?”
“Look at the escorts up front. Have they drawn their swords?”
I pointed so she would focus on the armed escorts. They were definitely tense, hands hovering near their hilts, but not a single blade had left its scabbard.
“You’re right… Why?”
“The bandit chief who showed up at the front. Look at his hair color.”
“Hair color? It’s green. Wait… green means…”
Several men with greasy, unwashed green hair stood at both the front and rear of the column.
It was an absurd setting, but in this world there was only one type of person who appeared on mountain roads with swords and green hair.
“Exactly. Green Forest.”
Green Forest.
If the mountain bandits I had met so far had been closer to subsistence-level muggers, these men were more like a corporate-level armed organization.
They built forts on mountains with heavy traffic, maintained the roads, and spent their entire days waiting for merchant caravans or escort agencies to pass through.
People were terrified of the Green Forest, but since the only alternative was a massive detour, they paid the toll with tears in their eyes.
The Green Forest, for their part, had plenty of customers lining up, so as long as no one resisted they simply collected the fee without spilling blood and sent everyone on their way.
That was how they earned the nicknames “Toll-Road Party” and “the Murim’s Toll Gate.”
“Is that not the deputy leader of Black Tiger Fort! It’s been far too long! Have you been well?”
The chief escort standing at the front greeted the deputy leader exactly as if he were meeting a senior from the martial world after a long absence.
“I’ve been fine. You seem busy these days—hard to see your face around here. Hahaha!”
“Those two… aren’t they acting way too friendly?”
Dang Hwarin muttered in a disgruntled tone as she listened to the exchange.
“Hostile symbiotic relationship.”
“Hostile symbiotic?”
“The more Green Forest there is, the more people hire escort agencies. The escort agencies use that money to get chummy with the Green Forest so they can pay cheaper tolls.”
“I still can’t accept having money shaken down by bandit bastards.”
“That’s just how the world works.”
Even as I said it, there was one thing I still couldn’t accept myself.
Why the hell is every mid-level Green Forest cadre green-haired in this world?
Supposedly martial arts could occasionally change someone’s hair color, but this was ridiculous. It wasn’t as if an entire academy of bandits all graduated and got hired by the same mountain fort. Had they undergone convergent evolution so they wouldn’t stand out in the forest or something?
“Just wait a bit and the road will open. Let’s sit back and relax.”
I wasn’t the one paying the toll, and I didn’t even need to help count out the coins. I settled comfortably back into the rear of the wagon.
“Raising the toll tenfold! Do you really think that makes any sense?! Okcheon Escort Agency! Draw your swords, all of you!”
We’re fucked.
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.
“Kang Yunho! Stay behind me!”
Dang Hwarin shoved me behind her in panic.
“Barbarian shield!”
I desperately blocked the spears and swords flying toward Dang Hwarin’s back with the Jade Face Bodyguard Art, but—
“Aaaagh!”
A spear from somewhere bit into Dang Hwarin’s thigh and blood began to pour.
“Heh heh heh. What’s this little bitch doing here?”
A green-haired Green Forest man who looked like an officer level let out a slimy chuckle and raised his blade toward her.
“Barbarian punch!”
“Guaaagh!”
I detonated inner energy into the Yongcheon point on the sole of my foot with the footwork I had been practicing, rocketed forward in a sudden burst of acceleration, and smashed my fist straight into the unguarded jaw of the Green Forest man.
“Dang Hwarin! You okay?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Save the porters!”
“A senior escort got cut! Help him!”
“No!”
We were done for. The chief escort’s decision had been the absolute worst possible move. As if they had been waiting for exactly this, countless Green Forest men poured out of the forest and began overpowering the porters and the chief with ridiculous ease.
“Hey! Get on my back!”
I forced myself to stay as calm as possible, tore cloth and bound Dang Hwarin’s thigh to stop the bleeding, then turned my back to her.
“Fuck! What the hell are we supposed to do?!”
“I’m going to run toward wherever there are the fewest of these bandit bastards. You throw every last hidden weapon you’ve got left!”
“Got it!”
Dang Hwarin climbed onto my broad back and locked her arms tightly around my neck.
Whoa. What is this feeling. The overwhelming soft weight pressing against my back short-circuited my brain for a second. Not the time.
Get up and run.
“Combination complete! Hwarin-ho, go!”
Dang Hwarin plus Kang Yunho equaled Hwarin-ho.
“What the hell have you been muttering this whole time, seriously…”
Dang Hwarin sounded like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but I was long past caring.
Kang Yunho’s sturdy legs, fully adapted to the Murim!
Dang Hwarin’s hands, a mobile artillery platform!
Kang Yunho’s brain calculating the optimal route!
Dang Hwarin’s soft cushioning, better than an airbag for preventing injury in a crash!
If this were an old robot anime, this perfect combination form would only show up near the ending!
“Let’s gooooo!”
We sprinted toward the area with the fewest Green Forest men.
“Catch those two!”
“Yes, sir!”
We were caught immediately.