Chapter 46
Translator: uly
Chapter: 46
Chapter Title: The Black-Haired Duo of Chilgok County - 5
I want to kill someone. That desire, firmly rooted in The Heavenly Killing Star's heart, only grew larger as the days passed. No matter how much she tried to control it with the martial arts of an assassin, the desire only swelled. She needed a way to control that desire. Assassination, rest, martial arts training, assassination again. Her repetitive daily routine existed solely to control that one desire. Her entire life was a fortress built to seal the inherent nature of The Heavenly Killing Star lurking within. That fortress appeared very stable, but in reality, it was as precarious as a sandcastle that could collapse with a single wave. The killing intent that, once unleashed, would slaughter everything around it. The Heavenly Killing Star was afraid of that. On the occasions when she was consumed by that killing intent, she barely managed to regain her senses. But would she be able to come back next time? Anxiety constantly pressed down on The Heavenly Killing Star. Maintaining mental tranquility was more important to her now than anything else.'I have to kill him.' The Heavenly Killing Star thought as she looked at Kang Yun-ho's sleeping neck.A massive storm had crashed into The Heavenly Killing Star's life just a few days ago, a life she was barely keeping stable. A man who knows her past. No, a man who could potentially know it. If this man really was her childhood friend's older brother, wouldn't just being beside him help her recover her memories? It was with that hope that she had made that declaration last night.But now, The Heavenly Killing Star's resolve was wavering.'Is knowing the past really that important?'Just one day.Just one day spent with this man.How many times had her mental tranquility been shaken? She was barely maintaining her calm, locking away the inner killing intent, but being with this man felt like it would shatter that tranquility. Through those cracks, The Heavenly Killing Star's true nature could slither out. She could become forever not herself. The Heavenly Killing Star was seized by fear.'Kill him and be at peace.'In The Heavenly Killing Star's life, the solution to every problem ultimately came down to murder. If this man disappeared from the world, she wouldn't have to worry about these things anymore. Not a murder to suppress killing intent, but a murder to protect her daily life.She had to do it now.The Heavenly Killing Star quietly drew a dagger before the man.
'He's not my childhood friend's older brother.'It wasn't just because her mental tranquility was breaking that she wanted to kill him. The Heavenly Killing Star had been ruminating on everything the man had said throughout the day.The man's words were flawless. It wasn't as if The Heavenly Killing Star, who had no memory to begin with, was in a position to find flaws. That's why she grew more suspicious.His one-sided goodwill toward her.The man responded with goodwill whether The Heavenly Killing Star spoke informally or held a knife to his neck. A kindness that seemed like it belonged only in books.Of course, such people weren't nonexistent. But because The Heavenly Killing Star had never encountered such a person in her life, it only bred suspicion.'He remembers too much about me.'The fact that he knew too much about The Heavenly Killing Star was also a problem.Ten years ago, they would both have been too young to know better.It was understandable to remember playing together at that young age. But he remembered too many details about her.'Is it possible to remember the color of the wreath I made ten years ago and what flower I used for the flower ring?'A sense of incongruity.Her instincts as The Heavenly Killing Star sounded an alarm at this clearly indefinable sense of incongruity. A realm of feeling, not logic. But that feeling had saved The Heavenly Killing Star's life countless times before.
"You're a fraud."The Heavenly Killing Star quietly repeated the words so Kang Yun-ho wouldn't hear.This man is not my childhood friend's older brother. He's a fraud. If she thought that way, a single slash would bring peace.She could return to her daily life. The life of locking away the inherent nature of The Heavenly Killing Star within and living on. She could return to being The Assassin Guild No. 5, a first-class assassin.One slash was all it would take.The Heavenly Killing Star raised the dagger high. The blade seemed to reflect the light of a malevolent star.'So-hee-ya.'Suddenly, the man's voice, which she had heard all day, echoed within The Heavenly Killing Star's chest.'Trust me.''Where would I run off to, leaving you behind?'The Heavenly Killing Star gripped the dagger tightly.She must not be enchanted.She must not become a monster. If she severed the past, she could live again.This man is a fraud. The Heavenly Killing Star's instinct, which had saved her life countless times, was telling her so.One slash at this fraud, and she could return to being an assassin of The Assassin Guild.But,'So-hee-ya. So-hee-ya. It's Kang Yun-ho, your older brother. Do you really not recognize this older brother you played with when you were little?'If she swung the knife here now,If it came to that,She would never,be able to return to being Cheon So-hee ever again.
Everything was a first.'It's a food you used to come to our house to eat when you were little.'A food she was tasting for the first time. Yet this man lied so nonchalantly about it.If she ate it and no memory came back, then this man was a fraud. Kill him. With that resolve, she took a bite.The first taste of the food struck her brain through her taste buds. It was a flavor that brought happiness from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.Happiness?Feeling happiness from food? Wasn't food just something to fill your stomach?How could such food exist? The elusive memories of a past she couldn't recall no matter how hard she tried. But the flavor was irresistible. She couldn't stop eating.Her assassin's self-control vanished before mere food.Was my past self the same?
'Trust me.'No one in The Assassin Guild could trust anyone. One master, two disciples. The two, senior and junior disciples, had to kill one person to become assassins.They gained the heart of an assassin by killing even the closest person.How dare he, having just met her, ask so casually for her to trust him.'As your older brother, I don't want to see my little sister see blood. I'll definitely solve this.'Murder was her daily life.Children in The Assassin Guild who shied away from killing were treated as defective goods. And the end for defective goods was always the same.She had lived learning how to kill more people, more efficiently. She had never thought it was wrong.But this man wanted to stop her from killing people.'She's my younger sister from my hometown.''If I get hurt a little and you don't commit murder, you'll do it again anytime.'This man stood up for me even with a knife at his neck.He tried to protect me even though he was weaker.No one had ever tried to protect me before.He prioritized me in a situation where he could die from a single slash.'Thank you.'I couldn't believe the words that came from my own mouth.As soon as I entered the room, I slumped down and covered my mouth with both hands.What did I just say?
What broke through her shattered mental tranquility wasn't killing intent.Gratitude. Remorse. Shame. Emotions she had no idea when she had ever felt before flowed from her heart.What caused it? The first taste of happiness she'd ever experienced? The feeling of being protected by someone for the first time?'This isn't me.'Get a grip. She desperately tried to calm her mind, agitated by unfamiliar emotions.That man is not my childhood friend. He's a fraud.She desperately ruminated on the man's words to find clues that he was a fraud. But she couldn't refute any of it.Only a slight sense of incongruity as The Heavenly Killing Star had arisen.
There must be clues.'Were you such a good storyteller even when you were little?'Having calmed her mind and met the man again, she wondered if probing his past might reveal a flaw. On a whim, she broached the subject.'I used to sit you, So-hee, on my lap and tell you old stories.'The story that came from his mouth was another memory of them.'You, So-hee, were my first customer as a storyteller.'The man sent a nostalgic gaze. That man's nostalgic gaze always made her feel stifled whenever she saw it.When this man talked about the past, he didn't look at her.He saw someone else through her.Lost memories.Me, from ten years ago.If I shared the same memories with this man, I should be nostalgic about the past together, yet only this man could return to the past.'I was the first customer...'So she threw the word 'first customer' into the void of her memory. I was this man's first customer. Memory from back then, answer me.Of course, there was no response.It was stifling. A heavy lump seemed to press down on her chest.As she suffered from that feeling, the man nonchalantly trampled over her wounds with muddy feet and entered.'Every time I went, it kept getting better, so I thought I'd soon be able to tell you, So-hee, a really fun story. But after that day, I could never do it again...'I never gave you permission to tell me that story. How dare you. What right do you have to tell stories.Her hand instinctively went to her dagger.But she couldn't help but stop at the words the man uttered next.'So it became an even greater regret, and I practiced a lot. So that if So-hee in heaven perhaps came down to earth and listened to my story, she wouldn't be embarrassed.'It was a shock like being struck on the head by a master of fist techniques.I put away the dagger I was holding and looked at Kang Yun-ho, sleeping soundly.I wasn't the only one.I wasn't the only one wounded by that incident.I wasn't the only one in this world who suffered because of that day.I wasn't the only one who dedicated myself to training to forget that day.This man carried the same wounds as me.
As Kang Yun-ho had said, the night in Chilgok County was chilly.The Heavenly Killing Star was not visible inside the room where Kang Yun-ho was staying.Creak.The Heavenly Killing Star carefully opened the creaking door and entered, more cautiously than yesterday.Unexpectedly, she was holding something in her hand.The Heavenly Killing Star stood before Kang Yun-ho holding it.She stared intently at Kang Yun-ho for a while, then unfolded it.The blanket Kang Yun-ho had given her and thus couldn't cover himself with. The Heavenly Killing Star had procured a blanket from somewhere and covered Kang Yun-ho with it.Perhaps because the weather was chilly, as soon as Kang Yun-ho felt the blanket, he instinctively pulled it up and buried his face in it.Seeing that, The Heavenly Killing Star returned to her corner seat, sat down, and covered herself with the blanket Kang Yun-ho had given her."I haven't acknowledged you yet."The Heavenly Killing Star quietly repeated the words so Kang Yun-ho wouldn't hear.Childhood friend's older brother or fraud? The Heavenly Killing Star decided to postpone her judgment for the time being.Her instinct as The Heavenly Killing Star might be wrong.If he had spent his whole life thinking of her and honing his storytelling skills, he could very well remember many things about her.The scales in The Heavenly Killing Star's heart were already tipping to one side, but she didn't want to acknowledge it after just one day.However, The Heavenly Killing Star resolved on one thing.'Let's return what I've received.'Goodwill with goodwill. For now, let's return what we've received. There's no need to keep baring fangs at someone who treats you with goodwill, is there?So that even if the day comes when she realizes the man is a fraud or goes mad with killing intent and cuts him down, at the very least, she would have no debt in her heart.The Heavenly Killing Star stroked the blanket Kang Yun-ho had covered her with again, then began eating the food the man had given her.Even though the food was cold,it felt warm somehow.
"Slept well."Waking up, I unconsciously touched my neck first.Thank goodness. It's still attached. The scab on my neck wound seems to have all fallen off too. The unfortunate event of opening my eyes to see my own severed torso didn't happen.It seems the second day passed safely as well, fortunately.I slept warmly, so my morning condition is good too. No matter how much you close the door in a shack, drafts come in and you can't stop the cold. I always woke up with a chill.This is why people should sleep in a good place."The blanket is soft and nice too."Blanket? Why am I covered with the one I gave The Heavenly Killing Star yesterday?I turned my head and looked at the spot where The Heavenly Killing Star had been sitting yesterday."Huh?"What the?"Where did she go?"Only a neatly folded blanket lay where The Heavenly Killing Star had been.