The Phantom Thief — 3
"We're from the government office."
A few days later, officers dressed in constable's garb came calling at Daseogak.
"Isn't that the Left Head Constable? What's this about?"
So the official who'd taken the bribe was the Left Head Constable. The men who got robbed must have spent their money rather high up the ladder.
Wuhan being the provincial capital of Hubei, its security apparatus was no simple pairing of a head constable and his bailiffs. It was organized with a Chief Constable at the top, Left and Right Head Constables beneath him, and under them the bailiffs and runners.
"Manager Kang Yunho of Daseogak, step forward!"
One of the bailiffs called out at the top of his lungs.
"What is the meaning of this! Why would the government office want our manager?!"
A member of the Tea Book Club rose from his seat and pressed them.
"This is a matter of the Shadowless Divine Thief! An investigation must be made! Interfere, and you will answer to the law!"
"Everyone, it's nothing serious, so don't worry yourselves. I'll simply go along with them."
If you're going to barge in, barge into my house. What is this, sabotaging my business? I raised my hand toward the bailiff to show that I was Manager Kang.
"And where is the writer, this Hopil?"
"Well, now. He's a man possessed by wanderlust, so I truly couldn't say. He only sends us manuscripts from time to time."
"Fine. Then you come along! You're not a criminal yet, so if you come quietly, I'll spare you the ropes."
So I could still become a criminal shortly, then.
"Manager Kang!"
As I moved to follow the bailiff, Ha Soso called after me, her face full of worry.
"Soso, send word to the residence for me."
"What shall I tell them?"
"Just tell them to move as planned. Off I go."
They'd received advance word and made their preparations. All that remained was to act exactly as planned.
"Follow me!"
With a last glance at Soso's nodding head, I set off for the government office.
"An accusation has come in that Daseogak and the Shadowless Divine Thief are entangled in a secret liaison."
The place the Left Head Constable had taken me to was a sort of interrogation room. Was this where they questioned mere persons of interest? Contrary to my fears, he had at least seated me in a chair before his desk.
Perhaps because I wasn't a suspect yet. Fortunately, he hadn't brought out anything for testing whether a human body could withstand a million volts, or tools for turning a man into a screaming instrument.
Dragged into an interrogation room as I was, I supposed I'd need to play the innocent man.
"This is an outrage! A secret liaison, of all things!"
Well, truth be told, the Shadowless Divine Thief and I do have a rather steamy relationship.
For now, play the frightened, wronged innocent.
"The moment that novel Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon hit the shelves, the Shadowless Divine Thief appeared in Wuhan! How can you possibly claim innocence?!"
"The very term 'Shadowless Divine Thief' is an outrage from the first word!"
"The term is an outrage? Did that name not appear plainly in that trashy novel, Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon?"
"Thieves bearing the name Shadowless Divine Thief have cropped up since times of old. Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon merely borrowed it because it was the name of a famous bandit. And yet now you would suddenly pin that name upon some nameless thief!"
"So the thief at work now was never named the Shadowless Divine Thief to begin with. Is that your argument?"
"Precisely, Left Head Constable! Suppose I was passing by and a dog bit me, and someone went and named that dog 'Left Head Constable's son of a bitch,' and then demanded medical fees because 'Left Head Constable's son of a bitch' had bitten me — how outrageous would that be!"
"Pfft."
At the sudden profanity, one of the bailiffs listening from behind let a laugh slip.
"Are you mocking me to my face?!"
The Left Head Constable's face twisted as he roared at me.
"Oh! Did I perhaps misuse a word? My apologies! I'm a Joseon fellow, you see! I only meant 'a dog's baby'!"
Oh no. Centwal Pwains speech. So vewy, vewy hawd. I apologized, the picture of flustered innocence.
"Hnn. Right. You're barbarians, so some of you know the words but not their weight. I'll allow that much."
It was absolutely a curse, though. You bribe-guzzling bastard.
"Then in proper Central Plains speech, if one mustn't say 'Left Head Constable's son. Of. A. Bitch.' — what is one supposed to say?"
"Pffhfft."
When I asked again, wide-eyed and innocent, every bailiff in the room except the Left Head Constable burst out laughing at once.
"Enough! I understood that much! But how will you explain this! The black paper cranes!"
demanded the Left Head Constable, his face gone red.
"Do you mean the black paper cranes the Shadowless Divine Thief leaves behind at his crime scenes?"
Time to argue logic now. I kept the wounded expression on my face and spoke in a calm, measured tone.
"Yes! I heard the very same scene appears in Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon! If that isn't evidence, what is?!"
The black paper crane.
The thread tying the Shadowless Divine Thief of Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon to the Shadowless Divine Thief of Wuhan. To any eye, it was proof positive of the liaison between Daseogak and the thief.
Claim it was a strange coincidence, and I'd only be told to stop spouting nonsense.
But here's the thing.
I'd already prepared a countermeasure for that, too.
"Have you by chance read Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon yourself?"
"What? No. I haven't read it."
The Left Head Constable shook his head.
Bribe-taker or not, shouldn't he at least do the bare minimum of investigation?
"Then are there any bailiffs present who have read Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon?"
"I have."
Fortunately, several hands went up. Good. That makes this easy.
"Does Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon, anywhere in its pages, say that the Shadowless Divine Thief left black paper cranes?"
"No. It does not."
"What? I heard it plainly! What nonsense is this!"
"The Shadowless Divine Thief folded black paper in a curious way. That is what the book says. Nowhere does it say he folded paper cranes."
"Isn't that one and the same thing!"
"For me, the very notion that a crane could be made of paper is news this very hour! How could anyone imagine a common thief mastering such an art?!"
Similar, but different. Not one and the same.
The Shadowless Divine Thief in the novel used a method anyone might manage. The thief who appeared in Wuhan used a feat that could only be called an art.
I'd carved out this escape hatch for denying any connection all the way back at the writing stage.
"The black paper was left behind! That much does not change!"
the Left Head Constable shot back, flustered.
"The simplest way to dye paper black is to brush it with ink. If a man wished to leave proof of his passing, it is hardly an extraordinary method."
"Don't tell me you'd have me believe all of this is a strange coincidence?!"
When a cat is bitten by the mouse it took for dinner, the cat gets angry. I'd have to offer him a place to save face.
Time to play the second stratagem I'd prepared in advance.
"The nameless thief who leaves black paper cranes first appeared a few days before Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon went on sale."
"What?!"
"I was curious myself, so I looked into it privately. The nameless thief appeared, without question, two days before the novel's release. He simply surfaced around the same time — I imagine that's what caused the misunderstanding."
They could claim Daseogak moved the Shadowless Divine Thief like a puppet. Failing that, they could cry copycat crime and have the novel's release blocked outright.
What would I do if the office made that claim?
I'd anticipated it back at the writing stage. The answer was simple: let the Shadowless Divine Thief act first.
"Even granting it was before release, what law forbids the Shadowless Divine Thief from reading it!"
"How could he have? At that time, Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon was still aboard a boat, on its way from the Yichang Printing Workshop. The Seocheon Escort Agency will bear witness to that."
"Hnn."
"The nameless thief could not have laid eyes on it — and what is more, Hopil could not possibly have written the book in a mere two days."
Set the Shadowless Divine Thief loose two days early. Create a situation in which neither could Hopil have influenced the thief, nor the thief influenced Hopil.
And so it became the perfect alibi.
"So. You claim it is mere coincidence?"
The Left Head Constable, still unable to admit defeat, glared at me.
Two logical shields he couldn't pierce were in place. Which meant it was time to lay the negotiation card on the table.
"Of course. It is possible he read it and imitated it."
First, dangle the bait he could snap at.
"What! You admit it?"
"Not the thieving — but the righteous thieving may well have followed Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon."
"Not the thieving, but the righteous thieving?"
"The thieving took place two days before release, but I hear the leaving of money at poor households came a day after it. Perhaps a thief hungry to show off read Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon and imitated the Shadowless Divine Thief's deeds."
"So no connection to Daseogak. You are telling me a thief who had meant to end it at mere stealing read Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon and turned to righteous thieving?"
I nodded to the incredulous Left Head Constable.
"Yes. No connection to Daseogak — though it seems Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon has worked a kind of reformation upon the man."
No connection to thieving, but perhaps a connection to righteous thieving.
Because Pungun Hyeopgaekjeon had reformed a thief. That was the negotiation card I offered the Left Head Constable.
"So it wasn't your doing after all? The suspicion is not yet fully dispelled. There will be further interrogation tomorrow! Throw this man in a cell!"
So this is how you play it in the end.
You'll regret it.
"You're letting him go?!"
That evening, the rich men robbed by the Shadowless Divine Thief invited the Left Head Constable to a courtesan tavern.
"I could hardly keep him locked up indefinitely."
The Left Head Constable sighed as though his head ached.
"Should you not first make him confess the truth?"
said one merchant whose precious treasures the Shadowless Divine Thief had stripped to the last piece.
"Since when do words from a black-hair's mouth accord with reason? It looks far more likely to be simple coincidence to me."
"He's a barbarian whelp selling books that glorify crime! Punish one to warn a hundred — that is how you teach them vigilance!"
Whether Kang Yunho truly had ties to the Shadowless Divine Thief mattered nothing to the men gathered here.
Only this: rage at having their precious treasures picked clean by a thief called the Shadowless Divine Thief, and the need for a scapegoat to give that homeless rage somewhere to go.
"Are you giving me orders now?"
The Left Head Constable's face soured as the men pressing their favors tried to overstep.
"N-no, of course not!"
The man who had barked it flinched and gulped drily, and another at the table took up the thread.
"Heh heh heh. From what I hear, that fellow Kang Yunho is the chieftain of the black-haired barbarians throwing Wuhan's peace into disarray. A chieftain of barbarians, no less, and selling books that glorify crime on top of it! Surely you've had your eye on him already."
"My duties are so numerous, it is difficult to keep watch on any one quarter."
What a nuisance. Haven't I investigated just as you asked? The Left Head Constable only feigned indifference, deflecting.
"Heh heh. Then we must lend some strength to that watchful eye of yours."
The spokesman of the gathering held out an elegant box, as one might offer up a treasure.
When the Left Head Constable feigned indifference, the man seated beside him accepted it in his stead and carefully revealed the contents.
Inside lay a golden toad the size of a young child's fist.
"Hoh. Now that is a radiant-looking fellow."
In the Left Head Constable's eyes flickered a greed that had no business belonging to a man charged with a city's security.
"Nothing lifts a man's spirits quite like this."
"I have many whelps to feed, you understand. I dare say this toad had better lay some young."
The Left Head Constable swept the assembled men with a look that asked, Is that all?
"Heh heh. Naturally — if you labor on our behalf, this toad will lay young, will it not?"
"Good. You all heard that."
The black-haired barbarians? I'll handle them exactly as you wish. As cups were exchanged, the gathering warmed into conviviality at remarkable speed.
So warm that no one noticed a courtesan slipping out of the room to release a strangely marked pigeon.
"A denunciation has come in."
The next day. The place the Left Head Constable summoned me to was not yesterday's mild interrogation room but a sinister chamber stained with blood here and there.
"And what denunciation might that be?"
I can't imagine any denunciation bigger than you lot splitting a golden toad at a tavern yesterday.
"You. You're the chieftain of the black-haired barbarians."
Well, he certainly did more homework than yesterday.
"It is true that folk from the same homeland look out for one another."
"The delivery men under you have learned the lightness arts! So it must have been easy to have them covet rich men's money and thieve for the sake of your business!"
"It is a low-grade lightness art — little more than running faster than the next man."
He's scrambling to connect the dots, isn't he.
"Whether those words are true or false, a proper interrogation will reveal it. Prepare the instruments!"
By the look of it, my blood was about to be added to the stains on that floor.
"Must you... truly go this far?"
I hardened my face and met the Left Head Constable's eyes with defiance.
"So your expression changes at last! It was all an act until now, was it?!"
"How can you torture an innocent man on mere suspicion, without a shred of evidence?"
"Ha! We shall see how composed you remain as a red-hot iron sears your flesh!"
"You will regret this."
For the first time before the Left Head Constable, I put force into my brow as I spoke.
"Regret? Hahahaha! What did this barbarian whelp just say! Regret? Hahahahaha!"
The Left Head Constable clutched his belly and roared with laughter, as if nothing had ever been funnier.
"You truly will regret it."
Any moment now, you really will.
I'd proven everything there was to prove. And you're still taking it this far over a bribe?
"This barbarian brat has gone mad with wanting to meet King Yama today! Fine. Today I shall be your Jade Emperor and your King Yama both. Go and work the bellows on that charcoal with all your might, and bring it to me!"
"Yes, sir! Right aw— huh? Sir, you mustn't come in!"
Moving now, are we.
From the doorway came a bailiff's flustered voice.
"Out of my way!"
Furious footsteps drew nearer and nearer.
"Who goes— huh?"
"Left Head Constable, you son of a bitch!!!!"
"Ch-Chief Constable? B-but why would a man with your mountain of duties come here? Hurk!"
When I lifted my head, what I saw was the Left Head Constable performing a triple axel that would have drawn tears from the Ice Empress of the rink herself, before being slammed into the wall.
"Young Master Kang! Are you hurt anywhere?"
A man in his prime with a bandit's beard seized my shoulder with rough hands.
"Ugh..."
Too tight — that hurts, you know.
"What did this Left Head Constable bastard do to you! What are you all standing around for! Untie those bonds this instant!"
"Yes, at once!"
At the Chief Constable's sudden entrance, the bailiffs fumbled with trembling hands to undo my bonds.
"Carry Young Master Kang to a bed at once, and fetch a physician!"
"Yes, sir! Young Master Kang, this way!"
"Chief Constable, what in the world is the meaning of this? Hurk!"
On the way out, following the bailiffs,
behind me I could hear the Chief Constable's furious bellow.
"Has this bastard truly lost his mind?! You laid hands on the grandson-in-law of Mangeum Hall and the son-in-law of the Zhuge Clan!"
"Whaaaaat?"
I told you.
I said you'd regret it.