Dokin - 2
Hwarin. Asking me how I feel about you.
For me, this atmosphere, this situation, this exact line—it’s all far too familiar.
“Huh? How do I think of you, Yunho? We’re good friends, right? Close classmates. You’re just a funny oppa. Hahaha.”
You gather your courage and ask, only for them to laugh it off awkwardly, leaving a sour aftertaste in the air.
Starting the next day, their messenger replies slow down. Contact grows scarce. They start avoiding meetings. You lock eyes on the street from a distance and they pretend not to notice, slipping away.
Even the densest person figures it out by then.
I’ve been friend-zoned.
Hwarin. You don’t seem to grasp what your question means in this atmosphere, but I know exactly what it means.
Of course, in your mind you might just be testing my feelings, or hoping for a confession. But as someone who’s lived through this, I can tell you straight:
Hwarin. What you just did was a confession.
It’s the kind of confession where the car’s already redlined in a racing game, waiting only for the 3-2-1 go signal—the moment I say okay, you’re flooring it straight ahead.
Hwarin likes me.
Look, I may not seem like much, but I’m pure gold on the inside. Stick with me long enough, the way Hwarin has, and you start noticing my charms.
Realizing how she feels makes my shoulders pump up on their own.
So how do I answer this?
Saying “I think of you as a precious friend” would be the absolute worst reply.
That’s the one answer you must never give. The second the words leave my mouth I could get hit by her poison arts on the spot. Even if not, we’d walk out of this door with bitter faces.
We’re both complete amateurs, aren’t we?
The guy who blurts out “let’s kiss” the second the chance appears, and the girl who confesses because she wants to hear a confession back.
A couple of total greenhorns, the both of us.
The real problem started when I suddenly suggested a kiss.
In this world, a kiss between a man and a woman isn’t a simple matter even for lovers.
In modern times a kiss is just one step in the progression of dating, an expression of affection. Here the meaning runs deeper.
When a woman allows a kiss, it practically means she intends to marry that man—that she already considers him her fiancé.
So when I asked Hwarin for a kiss, even if she already loved me as a man, of course she’d want to hear a proper confession first.
Before I answer Hwarin, there’s a question I have to ask myself.
Is Dang Hwarin the true heroine?
If Hwarin is the true heroine, what’s the clear condition? Completely curing her? Seeing her exclusive route? Or standing together against the fate that will one day come for us?
And if she isn’t the true heroine?
If Hwarin isn’t the true heroine, how am I supposed to treat her?
Now that I know her affection, do I tell her, “You’re not the true heroine, so we’re best friends from here on. Friends!”?
There’s no way I could do that.
Yeokcheonja and the heroines.
If this world has given me the fate and role of Yeokcheonja, then beyond the heroines I’ve already met, I might keep meeting more.
Some of those women may give me affection I don’t deserve.
Am I supposed to ignore them, mechanically hunt down the true heroine, conquer her route, and leave this world behind?
What a joke.
Someday I might see this world’s ending.
I might get the chance to leave. But that will never be a reason to turn my back on people who need my helping hand, or to reject the affection aimed at me.
It will never be a reason to reject Hwarin’s love.
Now that I know how she feels—
How do I think of Dang Hwarin?
Am I ready to accept her heart?
“Hwarin.”
I called her name gently while she kept her head bowed, waiting endlessly for my answer.
“Yeah?”
Hwarin flinched at my voice and looked up with an anxious face.
What is she so afraid of? Her body is more sensual than any beast, yet the way she acts is as pitiful as a little puppy soaked in the rain.
“I never said it out loud, but… it’s been really hard.”
I scooted right up against her side and glanced at her sideways.
“B-because of me?”
She asked in a trembling voice. Why would she think that?
I shook my head firmly to deny it and continued.
“No. It was hard before I met you. And thanks to you, my life opened up.”
“Thanks to me?”
The moment I spoke words that seemed to affirm her, a little color returned to her anxious voice.
“Because of you I became a bookstore manager. I got to write. I even became famous. All of it is thanks to you, Hwarin. I’m so grateful I can’t put it into words.”
Start with gratitude.
The reason I could hold hope for the future and keep moving forward after coming to this world is entirely because of her.
I poured genuine thanks into every word.
“If you’re about to talk about gratitude or pity or something like that…”
The sharp look in her eyes started to rise, so I immediately shook my head and cut her off.
“Hwarin. I even put my life on the line to save you.”
“So what? You’re just trying to change the subject again…”
When did I ever? I felt a little wronged, but with a shameless face I pressed a finger to her soft lips and silenced her.
“You idiot. You still don’t get it?”
I turned slightly so we faced each other. The distance was close—close enough to feel her breath. If I dipped my head just a little, our lips would touch.
“W-what don’t I get?”
Her eyes trembled.
Is she afraid of what will come out of my mouth?
Everything that had happened between us flashed through my mind like a panorama.
Is Hwarin the true heroine?
No—does it even matter if she is?
Did I risk my life for her just because she’s a friend, or because she might someday be a true heroine I can conquer?
Risk my life for a mere possibility?
If I said yes to that, it would only be self-deception.
If the true heart of a Yeokcheonja can help a heroine dodge her tragic fate, what good is it to deny my own sincerity?
How do I truly feel about Hwarin?
I already gave the answer.
“I came because I wanted to protect my woman.”
“Your woman? You’re that close to a dokin child?”
“Between a man and a woman, is there any other reason worth staking your life on?”
I opened my mouth to hand her my true feelings.
“Hwarin. The only time a man stakes everything for a woman… is when he thinks of that woman as his.”
“You…! Mmph!”
The instant Dang Hwarin’s expression went defenseless with emotion, Kang Yunho’s face covered hers.
Hwarin flinched hard at the sudden assault and puckered her lips tight, yet she never thought of turning her head away.
In a flash their lips met. Because of how rigidly she had tensed, it was less a kiss and more the simple press of flesh to flesh—yet that alone made Hwarin’s eyes fly wide open in shock.
“W-what do you think you’re doing all of a sudden?!”
She jerked her head back and snapped at him.
“Then this time I won’t do it suddenly. Come here.”
With a tender face, Yunho pulled her body closer with one hand.
What the hell. Why’s he suddenly acting all mature? It’s annoying. You’re the one who confessed and I accepted it, so shouldn’t you be acting a little more overwhelmed?
A small spark of indignation rose in Hwarin, but she had zero intention of rejecting his touch.
If anything, the first kiss had ended far too quickly; she already hungered for the next one.
“Mmm…”
She pursed her lips as far forward as they would go—like a baby bird that had never known love, desperately seeking it.
Yunho found the sight so endearing that he poured love into it, poured sincerity into it, and quenched her thirst.
When he gently rubbed against her tense lips, the tension melted away of its own accord.
Hwarin felt her man for the first time with a sensation she had never known. She had succeeded. She was happy. She was being loved.
While she was still dazed, Yunho knocked a little more boldly at the door.
“W-what are you sticking in there?!”
Startled by the invading sensation, she jerked her head up again, face blazing red, and broke the kiss.
“Don’t like it?”
“I-I’ll try it one more time and then tell you…”
The two of them didn’t manage to part their lips until Uigakju finally grew tired of waiting and came to announce that far too much time had already passed.
If the Medical Pavilion Head had been even a little later, they would have turned the room into a bridal chamber on the spot.
“Ahem.”
Only after Uigakju’s awkward cough did the pink thread that refused to break finally snap, drawing a sticky, translucent bridge of regret between them.
“Hwarin.”
Yunho gripped her hand tightly and looked at her, worried that even a fraction of his sincerity might have failed to reach her.
The time left for them to talk was nearly gone.
“Yunho. I’ll definitely come back.”
Hwarin squeezed his hand in return and nodded.
She regretted that they hadn’t spoken more, but it was fine. Something greater than words had been conveyed. She had learned his true heart.
“Yeah. Next time let’s do it somewhere no one can see us.”
“You fu— …Okay.”
Does my man have zero shame? Why would you say that with Uncle Uigakju right here?
Hwarin almost cursed on instinct, but she wanted that time just as badly, so she simply nodded with a face flaming scarlet.
Yunho smirked at the sight, pulled her into one last hug, and stepped out the door.
While Hwarin kept staring after the direction her man had disappeared, people of the Dang Clan entered and guided her to the prepared chamber.
Can I succeed?
As she walked, she touched her lips, still warm. Inside her mouth she could still feel him fully.
I want to be happy with Yunho.
Hwarin looked at the Human-Faced Spider’s Poison Core waiting in the prepared place.
That was no insurmountable wall. It was only a single step to draw closer to Yunho.
“Prepare yourself now.”
Yunho. Wait for me.
“Are you worried?”
I was staring out the window, wondering where they had taken Hwarin, when Uigakju asked.
“Shouldn’t you be going in?”
“Even if she swallows the poison core and digests it completely, it will take a very long time. I wanted to look at your face for a moment before I went in.”
“Planning to give me a pep talk?”
He nearly died once and came back a new man? I’m grateful for the continuous kindness, but I can’t help feeling awkward about it.
“…They say ‘do your utmost and leave the rest to Heaven.’ You have done everything in your power. I and that child Hwarin will also do our utmost. Now wait for Heaven to smile upon us.”
Uigakju ignored my slightly sarcastic tone and offered genuine encouragement. I appreciated it, but I wasn’t worried.
“It will smile.”
I answered him with absolute certainty in my voice.
“Is that conviction or wishful thinking?”
“Conviction.”
“I see… I hope so as well.”
Seeing the certainty written on my face, Uigakju seemed to decide his encouragement had been unnecessary. He gave a single nod and headed toward where Hwarin waited.
Yes.
I am certain.
Hwarin will become a complete dokin.
She will become a complete dokin and appear before me.
Because—
“Hwarin’s face is already perfectly clear, without a single blemish.”
My sincerity has reached her.