Temporary Closure - 5
“Yunho. How many ways do you actually have to deal with poison?”
When I told her to leave the matter of pushing back our schedule to me, Hwarin nodded and then brought up what lay ahead of us.
“I’ve got some inner energy, so I’ve got a little poison resistance. Why?”
People tend to think poison is omnipotent in a martial world, but the truth is that any expert past a certain level has countermeasures against it.
— This cherry tomato. Its weight changed while I was away for a moment.
Because martial artists develop such keen senses, they instantly notice minute differences in scent or taste and realize the other party has used poison.
— Of course it’s puffer-fish roe! A jewel of a flavor worth risking your life for.
Even without reaching the level of a Poison Human, their bodies are reinforced by inner energy, so they often develop resistance that lets them survive toxins that would kill an ordinary person on the spot.
“So you don’t know how to drive out poison qi once it’s already inside you?”
“I’m no master. I don’t know how to expel poison qi with inner energy.”
The classic martial-arts technique: driving out the poison.
Even if a martial artist’s inner energy lets them endure poison better than a civilian, the limit is still there if they have never trained in poison arts. When a martial artist is poisoned, the most common solution is to force the poison qi out of the body with their own inner energy.
“Once we reach the Sichuan Dang Clan, we have no idea what might happen. They could even experiment on you with the poison resistance that runs in the clan’s bloodline.”
“If the legitimate heir who’s already at death’s door dies, I’ll be the only remaining blood. Would they really go that far?”
“Who knows. They’re lunatics, so they might.”
Hwarin herself had been deceived by one of those lunatics and ended up like this; it was hard to feel completely safe.
“I don’t suppose we could just wrap it up by eating pineapple pizza of gratitude right in front of them.”
If they wanted, we could even add extra pineapple toppings. We’d just need to stock plenty of hot sauce and pickles. I muttered a small complaint under my breath.
“We can’t know how things will turn out. I’ll teach you how to expel poison qi in case you ever get poisoned.”
Life throws all sorts of things at you; learning to drive out poison qi could only help. There was just one problem.
“Isn’t that something only people with a lot of inner energy can do? I barely have any—I can’t even use light-body techniques.”
“It’s not that you don’t know light-body techniques; you just don’t have enough inner energy to use them? That can’t be right. You’ve got years’ worth of energy.”
“Somewhere between two and three years’ worth?”
In the martial world, accumulating inner energy is a lot like studying English.
You have to circulate energy morning and night, every single day, for sixty years in a place with good water and air just to gather one gapja’s worth.
The various sects advertise like cram schools—“Our sect’s mind method is 1.2 times more efficient than the ones floating around!” “Ours is 1.5 times, though once you hit a certain level you get a free side of mania!”—but you still have to train every morning without fail.
The young Taoists of the famous orthodox sects build their energy because they are put through a rigorous curriculum from childhood and forced to keep training even when they hate it. Once they enter adult society, the story changes.
Their skill plateaus, so energy barely accumulates; work life wears them down until training starts to feel like a chore; and once they become adults there are fewer people nagging them. Little by little they grow lazy about practice.
Of course, plenty of people still diligently circulate energy morning and night no matter what. In the end it is a matter of willpower—exactly the same willpower required for an office worker to come home after a full day of social obligations and open a book to study English instead of turning on the computer.
I had days when work buried me so deeply I could not circulate energy, yet I still kept up my martial training steadily.
“That’s less than I expected. You were shouting ‘I’ll become the Barbarian Punch!’ while thrashing bandits. Since you clearly knew how to reinforce your body with inner energy, I figured you just didn’t know light-body techniques—not that you lacked the energy itself.”
That was because I had excellent teachers and supreme martial arts.
“My energy is lacking, but I can at least manage that level of energy control.”
“Then we’re good. I’ll teach you a secret art of the Sichuan Dang Clan. Even if your energy is low, your control looks solid enough that you should learn to expel poison qi quickly.”
“Whoa. Isn’t it a huge problem to casually teach a secret clan technique?”
“What are you talking about? You’re going to play the role of the Sichuan Dang Clan’s illegitimate son whether you live or die. Learning this much martial art won’t matter.”
“Fair enough.”
If we got caught we would die either way; if we didn’t, no one would complain that the direct-line arts of the Sichuan Dang Clan had been learned by their “illegitimate son.”
“First sit in the lotus position and circulate the formula exactly as I tell you.”
“Got it.”
I circulated my energy the way Hwarin instructed. Discover an anomaly inside the body, gather it with inner energy, and expel it all in one direction—that was the idea. I understood the rough method, but it was harder than expected.
“Can you do it? If you just observe your body clearly and grasp its condition, it becomes easy. Once you understand the method it’s a moving skill, so you won’t even need the lotus seat.”
“I get the principle, but I don’t think I can do it right away. If you guide my true energy for me, I’ll follow along.”
Hwarin would lead the flow of true energy and I would trail after it—the same method every teacher who had ever taught me martial arts had used. I asked her for it.
“Guide true energy? Do you think I’m some great master?”
Hwarin looked at me as if I had said something absurd.
“You can’t do it, Hwarin?”
Why the reaction? At Dang Hwarin’s level there was almost no one her age who could compare.
“It’s not just me—nobody my age can. Carelessly guiding true energy can twist someone’s meridians or send them into qi deviation. I can watch the flow of true energy for you, but actual guidance is the realm of masters.”
So it was the difference between a friend standing outside the car giving parking tips and actually giving driving lessons.
“I heard there are people who can.”
I knew two people I could specifically name.
“Where did you hear that weird rumor? For someone our age to guide true energy they’d need the talent of a grandmaster or be an absolute expert in sensory perception and energy control. There’s no way anyone like that exists.”
“I see.”
I had momentarily forgotten that the two people who taught me martial arts were geniuses counted on one hand even in this world’s setting.
I had received more fortuitous encounters than I realized. Raised on ginseng like snacks, trained in supreme arts, met excellent teachers—pretty much the full protagonist package of a martial novel.
In reality I was just an outcast writer, though.
“Don’t look so disappointed. Let’s try this instead.”
Thinking I was dejected, Hwarin pulled out a wine bottle from somewhere and held it out to me.
“Get drunk and forget our worries?”
“What are you talking about? Alcohol is a kind of poison qi too. Drink it and try expelling it.”
Ah. The classic martial-novel setup: the protagonist has the energy to drive out the alcohol but chooses not to use it because he wants to enjoy the pleasant buzz. That method.
I accepted the cup from Hwarin and drained it in one go.
“This is delicious. Where’d you get this wine?”
It was sweet with just the right touch of bitterness—excellent liquor.
“Th-the steward uncle gave it to me.”
Hwarin averted her eyes, looking somehow embarrassed as she poured another cup.
“Huh? Why would the steward uncle…?”
“H-he said to use it when things get stifling.”
“What does that mean?”
“Stop asking useless questions and eat some side dishes!”
She shoved a piece of jerky she had produced from nowhere into my mouth and dodged the topic.
Had the steward uncle given her the wine so she could drink whenever work got frustrating? That didn’t quite fit—the liquor was too sweet and didn’t seem very strong.
Because it tasted so good, I kept pouring it down.
“This stuff’s so mild it probably won’t have much effect.… Huh?”
“Careful.”
I tried to stand and lost my balance; Hwarin caught me.
What? This was stronger than I thought. The good flavor had made me careless. Was this like those modern “lady-killer” wines or sitting-room soju that sneak up on you?
“I’ve already taught you the formula, so try again tomorrow. You’ve had a tiring day; it’s easy to get drunk fast.”
Seeing me unable to steady myself, Hwarin spoke with worry.
“This is important—how can we put it off? We have to do it now. Sit me down. I’ll try.”
“……Because it’s for your friend’s sake?”
Why did she sound so hurt? I had explained it convincingly enough, yet she still seemed dissatisfied that I was risking my life for a friend’s affair.
“Our lives are on the line too, and so is clearing my friend’s injustice. A huge obstacle has appeared—this isn’t the time to pick and choose our situation. We use shortcuts and we force things through.”
“When there’s an obstacle you have to use shortcuts?”
My words seemed to hit her; her eyes widened a little.
“Yeah.”
When I agreed, Hwarin lowered her head and stared at me for a long while with a look of deep thought.
What was she thinking?
“……Then shall I help you use a shortcut?”
She spoke with the tone of someone who had made up her mind.
“Help me do what? Hwarin, what are you—?”
She loosened the front of her robe a little and pushed the fabric off one shoulder. Starting from the line of her shoulder, a dizzying Grand Canyon of a valley appeared.
“I-if the blood circulates faster you’ll feel the alcohol inside your body more strongly.”
Hwarin looked away, face burning with embarrassment.
“No. That’s not…”
The blood was definitely circulating faster—straight up into my head, so the alcohol hit me all at once. Hwarin, the problem is that for a man the blood also rushes somewhere else entirely.
But she showed no intention of stopping there.
“I’ll hold your hand and watch the flow of true energy with you too. Ah, sit down.”
The Grand Canyon approached me.
“That’s okay. Ah…”
I sprang up in surprise; the alcohol swirling in my head made me lose balance straight toward the approaching Hwarin. Startled, she simply pulled me into her arms.
“Hik!”
My face took one small step into the great valley.
My nose nestled into the cleft. The scent of a valley no one else had ever smelled filled my senses. Unbelievable. I wasn’t even the protagonist of Dangga Pungun, yet something like this was happening to me.
If I blew into it right now, wouldn’t a massive echo boom out? They call it “nose-dive death,” and if I died like this I honestly wouldn’t have any regrets.
Hwarin, you have to push me away so I can apologize. Why isn’t she shoving me off? Is she frozen in shock too?
Thump-thump. I could hear Hwarin’s pounding heart. My own heart began racing in time with it.
I could clearly feel the alcohol that had entered my body numbing my brain.
“Hwarin. I just realized something.”
A brief silence. I carefully lifted my head and looked at the bright-red Hwarin.
“Y-yeah?”
“Thank you. Always.”
I gently stroked her face so the mood wouldn’t turn awkward. Her skin was blazing hot.
“Huh? Wh-wh-wha—?”
Hwarin’s mouth fell open.
“Let’s sleep now.”
“Wh-what, if you say let’s sleep, d-do you think I’m just going to sleep?”
Did she not want to sleep? Even while saying that, she lay down on her own bed, left the blanket off, and kept glancing sideways at me.
Was she going to sleep or not?
“It’s cold. Pull the blanket up and sleep. I’m going to sleep now too.”
“Huh?”
Hwarin stared at me with a flushed face, looking as if she could not understand.
“I figured out how to expel poison qi, so let’s sleep.”
I climbed into my own bed without looking back and pulled the blanket over myself as I spoke.
Just as Hwarin had said, once you could observe the anomalies in your own body the method became easy. Thanks to that I drove the alcohol out of my system in an instant.
Nice. I felt one step closer to being a real martial artist.
Hwarin stared blankly at me, then, realizing what I meant, twisted her face into the most spectacular scowl she could manage.
“Seriously! Forget it! You’re a real goddamn bastard!”
Only then did she get angry about the face-touch, grinding her teeth as she yanked the blanket over herself.
She was actually looking away from my side for once. Maybe she was truly furious.
I’d better apologize tomorrow once her mood improves a little.
“Prepare to depart tomorrow morning.”
Uigakju came to find me late in the evening, just like the night before.
“Give me just one or two more days. I have far too much to handle.”
I had been busily clearing work since morning to prepare for departure, but there simply was not enough time.
“What could possibly be more important than this matter right now?”
“I hear we don’t even have a carriage to ride. Both Hwarin and I are people who need protection, and it would be best if our faces were not exposed. While we obtain at least one carriage, I’ll finish the remaining work.”
It wasn’t only me who had tasks left; he did too. Let’s cleanly compromise on one or two days.
“A carriage can be obtained along the way.”
He simply refused to listen.
Uigakju glared at me, paying no attention to the people watching us or the murmuring that rose from somewhere nearby.
“Can’t you yield just once?”
“You people are the ones who summoned us.”
I never summoned any of you.
If this had been a situation where I played with a Ouija board in a horror movie and called a ghost, or rolled the dice wrong while playing some obviously suspicious board game and got dragged into this world, I might at least feel wronged.
I locked eyes with Uigakju and continued the silent war of nerves.
“Lord Uigakju!”
Bursting into the tense standoff was a martial artist of the Dang Clan, panting hard.
“What is it?!”
“There’s serious trouble. You need to come outside and see for yourself.”
The startled martial artist pointed beyond the door as he spoke.
“I don’t know what it is, but let’s go together.”
I actually did know, of course. Uigakju and I headed out through the main door of Daseogak.
“Are those the Sichuan Dang Clan bastards?!”
“Dang Clan! That’s a Dang Clan man!”
“Blocking the release of Dangga Pungun Volume 3?!”
“Trying to shut down Daseogak?! Absolutely not!”
“Boooo! Sichuan Dang Clan, get out!!!”
“What in the world…?”
What greeted Uigakju and the Dang Clan people was an endless throng of Daseogak readers surrounding the building completely.