The True Wife Wars
The Official Wife Grand Battle.
Among the many women, which heroine will ultimately be joined with the protagonist?
Countless fans hope their favorite heroine ends up with the hero, predicting through which plot twists it might happen and arguing endlessly with one another.
The Official Wife Grand Battle is content that helps readers sink deeper into a work and enjoy it all the more.
I used to stay up all night taking part in Official Wife Wars myself.
Few things are more pointless than fighting people online. Yet I could never stand anyone denying the official wife I was shipping.
It was a fight worth having.
Even so, you can’t start fights at work.
Official Wife Wars belong in designated communities. You mustn’t cause trouble for others.
Hwarin and I split the Daseo Society members who had been about to throw punches into two groups and listened to what they had to say.
“How could a mere courtesan become the official wife of the Dang Clan’s prodigy, the qilin child of the great Sichuan Dang Clan—Dang Jeong!”
One Daseo Society member roared at the other side as if he himself belonged to the Sichuan Dang Clan.
“What’s so impossible about it? He even took the first night of Hubei’s Number One Courtesan! On the other hand, that other woman only managed to spread her legs after getting hooked on spring aphrodisiacs. How can she be official wife material? Du Eunghyang, who stayed at his side as both helper and love interest throughout Volume 2, is the only one fit to be Dang Jeong’s true wife!”
A Du Eunghyang supporter boldly laid out his logic.
Unlike Volume 1, which had to build the protagonist’s foundation, Volume 2 introduced the heroines from the start and let Du Eunghyang shine. I never expected people to switch official-wife candidates so quickly.
As the author I was delighted; as the shopkeeper I was in trouble.
“H-how can a courtesan still be a virgin? Du Eunghyang must be lying!”
The first man, shaken by the counter-argument, stammered.
“Every courtesan was once a virgin.”
“How can Hubei’s Number One Courtesan possibly be a virgin?!”
“Hah! Author Hopil clearly declared in the novel that it was her first time. Are you now casting doubt on Author Hopil himself, beyond mere official-wife debate?”
“Where is that written?”
“Dangga Pungun Volume 2. Twenty pages from the back. The eighteenth line. From Hopil’s own point of view, he explicitly confirms Du Eunghyang’s virginity.”
The man pushing Du Eunghyang as official wife recited the exact location without a second’s hesitation.
“It’s true! It’s really written there!”
“H-how many times has that guy already reread Volume 2…?”
Several Daseo Society members pulled out their copies of Dangga Pungun Volume 2, checked, and wore faces of pure astonishment. I wrote the damn thing, yet someone remembering the exact line number is a little terrifying even to me.
“Urgh…”
Faced with hard proof, the first man looked thoroughly cornered.
“Tsk tsk. That’s why I said never accept anyone who hasn’t read Dangga Pungun at least ten times into the Daseo Society. To think some riffraff who doubts Author Hopil and can’t even recognize the true official wife has slipped into our ranks.”
The victor looked down on his opponent with a triumphant smile.
“I was a hundred—no, a thousand times wrong to doubt Author Hopil. But Du Eunghyang is still only a courtesan. Sichuan has Gu Sukjeong, daughter of a high house and Sichuan’s greatest beauty. How dare a woman inferior in both looks and lineage claim the title of official wife?”
He struck back with a solid argument. Claiming that Sichuan’s most beautiful woman was not the official wife would indeed be hard to defend.
“Your premise is already flawed. Are you saying that simply because she is Sichuan’s Number One Beauty, she must be prettier than Hubei’s Number One Courtesan?”
“What nonsense is that? Of course Sichuan’s Number One Beauty is prettier than some Hubei courtesan.”
“How dare you claim a mere provincial beauty from Sichuan is prettier than Hubei’s greatest courtesan! And you call that ‘of course’? Looking at you now, I thought you were from Hubei, but you’re a Sichuan man!”
I couldn’t believe it. He was weaponizing regional prejudice just to smash the “Sichuan beauty is prettier” logic.
“What? That guy’s from Sichuan?”
“Has the Hubei Daseo Society been played by a Sichuan dog all this time?”
A few members whispered in shock, staring at the accused Sichuanese member.
“No, no! My father and grandfather were both born and raised in Hubei! This is slander!”
“Boooo! Honorary Sichuanese! The Gu Sukjeong faction are all honorary Sichuanese! Of course Hubei’s Number One Courtesan is prettier than Sichuan’s Number One Beauty!”
The man looked wronged, but the Hubei Number One Courtesan faction was not about to let the chance slip.
“We’re supposed to be united behind Sichuan’s Number One Beauty—what’s with the internal strife? Hurry and help!”
“Who dares deny the true official wife?!”
Seeing their side about to be overrun, other Gu Sukjeong supporters jumped in.
“The woman Dang Jeong truly held in his heart was Gu Sukjeong, not Du Eunghyang. Not only in Volume 1 but throughout Volume 2 she remained in his heart. How can he abandon her and make Du Eunghyang the official wife?”
“Shut your mouth, honorary Sichuanese!”
Of course, when one side formed a bloc, the other side immediately answered in kind.
“W-what?”
“Love is fluid! Du Eunghyang spent an entire volume building affection and won Dang Jeong’s heart—she’s far more suited to be official wife!”
“Is a pretty face all that matters?”
“For a woman, a pretty face is everything! She can live off that face alone for the rest of her life!”
“Brother, what stirring words. Any real man should be able to tell at a glance who the official wife is!”
“That bastard only talks like that because he doesn’t have a little sister.”
“Shut up!”
“Please stop!”
“If you continue making a ruckus we will ask you to leave. Keep it up and you will be banned from Daseogak entirely.”
When the voices grew too loud, Hwarin and I calmed them down. Daseo Society members, fan all you want, but please remember there are other people around.
“Urgh. We can’t lose the holy land of Dangga Pungun.”
In an instant the Daseo Society split into two camps and sat down in their respective seats.
“From this day forward I refuse to drink the same tea as them!”
“People who cannot even recognize the official wife have eyes yet do not see, ears yet do not hear. They are not worth speaking to.”
The two factions of the Daseo Society would no longer even sit in the same place.
“Are you just going to leave them like that?”
After watching the situation for several days, Dang Hwarin finally asked me.
“What else am I supposed to do? Here’s the coffee you ordered.”
I handed another customer their coffee while answering her.
“You’re the author. Shouldn’t you tell them to stop fighting over the official wife?”
“If someone already has a favorite, how can the author of all people scold them for it?”
Even if an author simply admits to voting for their own favorite in a popularity poll, they can get flamed. Preference is personal territory; it is not for the author to decide.
“But you’re the author, so of course…”
Hwarin trailed off, looking sadly at the two Daseo Society factions glaring at each other.
“Hwarin.”
“Hm?”
“If you fell for someone, and then another woman who looked better suited for him appeared, would you just give him up right away?”
Hwarin, I don’t think you quite understood, so let me use a metaphor you can grasp instantly.
“Huh? Uh…”
Her eyes went wide and she looked as if she had been punched.
See? Instant understanding. Yet contrary to my expectation she did not answer at once. She lowered her head slightly, stole glances at me, and seemed to hesitate over whether or not to speak.
“Hwarin?”
Is this really something you have to agonize over while reading my face?
“I-if someone more suitable than me appeared… shouldn’t I give up?”
“What?”
“I mean… someone like me isn’t in a position to yield anything. No—there’s no reason anyone would choose a wreck like me in the first place…”
She hung her head and muttered dejectedly.
Ah, crap. That was my mistake. I treat her so normally that I forgot about her complex.
“Hwarin.”
I took the wrist of the girl whose head was bowed and drew her in front of me. With my free hand I lifted her chin so our eyes met.
“U-ungh?”
“Don’t get depressed over something like this. You’re already plenty charming. And your skin—it will definitely get better.”
Even with my Maedamja renown her pain had already vanished. With the success of Dangga Pungun my renown was surely climbing further.
Before long she would be healed as well.
“Me?”
Was she asking whether she was charming, or whether she would one day be healed? I didn’t need to ask which. I would simply affirm both.
“Yes. Absolutely. So if something like that ever happens, don’t give up—have confidence. I’ll be right beside you cheering you on.”
Her self-esteem would not heal overnight. There would be days she wanted to collapse. When that happened I would simply keep affirming her without limit.
Just having someone who affirms you nearby can give a person strength.
I looked at her with eyes full of certainty.
“Heh. You… you really said that, right? You meant it?”
Hwarin’s expression flipped in an instant. She let out a sly little hum and the corner of her mouth curled up.
“Huh? Y-yeah.”
“Good. Then I won’t give up.”
She answered as if she had made some kind of resolution. Her mood swings are way too fast. Maybe she hadn’t been that dejected after all.
A little weird, but she looked recovered, so fine.
“I’m going over to the Daseo Society for a bit.”
I loaded two different items onto a large tray and left the counter.
“Why? They should come get their own.”
“Young Lady Hwarin ordered me to solve the Daseo Society’s problem, so I shall deploy the special solution I have prepared.”
I answered her question in an exaggerated historical-drama tone.
“What kind of bullshit are you pulling this time? Heh. Fine, go ahead.”
“Tea and refreshments have arrived.”
I set one distinct menu in front of each of the two factions—the Sichuan Number One Beauty faction and the Hubei Number One Courtesan faction, also known as the Sukjeong Camp and the Hyanga Camp.
“Shopkeeper, we didn’t order this.”
“I thought I’d introduce the Daseo Society to a brand-new menu.”
“New menu? This is just coffee and sweets, isn’t it?”
“Looks like they got coffee. We got tea.”
Before speaking I glanced between the Sukjeong Camp and the Hyanga Camp.
Author Hopil cannot stop an Official Wife War.
As an author, declaring who the official wife of a harem story is would itself be unprofessional. How can one arbitrarily decide people’s preferences? As the author I can only observe the situation.
But as the shopkeeper it is different.
Daseogak’s shopkeeper Kang Yunho can use this situation.
“These are no ordinary tea and coffee. The names of these sets are the Sukjeong Tea Set and the Hyanga Coffee Set.”
“Sukjeong Tea?”
“Hyanga Coffee?”
Every Daseo Society member instantly focused on the items in front of them.
“I informed Author Hopil of the Daseo Society’s discord. He became curious just how popular Gu Sukjeong and Du Eunghyang truly are. After much deliberation, Daseogak decided to introduce the Sukjeong Tea Set and the Hyanga Coffee Set.”
“What does popularity have to do with these menus?”
“Please look at the prices.”
“Gasp! The Sukjeong Tea and Hyanga Coffee are twice as expensive as normal items!”
“Exactly. Only those who truly love Gu Sukjeong or Du Eunghyang will order these menus at that price. Every time an order comes in for either set, I will tally a single stroke of the character (jeong) and deliver the record to Author Hopil.”
An Official Wife War is raging?
Then of course we need a popularity vote. A gold-powered election, naturally.
Letting the two factions keep fighting over the official wife would only produce endless emotional warfare. But if I offered a solution?
If ordering one more set becomes more profitable than a hundred arguments, even endless emotional fighting will ease a little.
“Why the character of all things?”
“Because these sets are being sold precisely to measure how many readers believe each lady is the true Official Wife ().”
Dear readers, the more special sets you buy, the more advantageous your side becomes in the Official Wife War.
“You’re going to report the sales numbers to Author Hopil?”
“Then we’ll know immediately which young lady is more popular!”
“Yes. Author Hopil will be able to see, through these menus, not the loud opinions of a few but how many people truly love each young lady. And I only overheard it in passing, but he may even reflect the results in the future ending.”
In truth I had no intention of touching the ending. Abandoning the ending I had decided in my heart for the sake of money would be unprofessional. Still, I was willing to adjust heroine screen time a little.
“Then the official wife might not be Sichuan’s Number One Beauty Gu Sukjeong?”
“I can make the official wife with my own hands?”
“I can actually make Du Eunghyang the official wife…”
“But shopkeeper, isn’t this an outrageously vicious sales tactic?”
“A misunderstanding. Would I really do such a thing while using Author Hopil’s name? I’m merely selling them as a yardstick for popularity. And every last coin of profit goes into Author Hopil’s pocket, not Daseogak’s.”
In reality it was just a difference between left pocket and right pocket.
“Fine! We can’t let Hubei’s Number One Courtesan steal the official wife seat. Three Sukjeong Tea Sets here!”
“We won’t lose! Five Hyanga Coffee Sets!”
“Two Sukjeong Tea Sets over here!”
“We’re falling behind! I’ll buy two Hyanga Coffee Sets for every person at this table!”
After special-menu sales began on the second floor of Daseogak, the uproar on the second floor subsided somewhat.
Of course, second-floor revenue hit an all-time high since opening day.
Shaanxi Province.
When a man visited a certain great mansion, a middle-aged woman greeted him with a flustered face.
“M-Master Dang… what brings you all the way here?”
Dang Geoho. That was the name of the visitor.
Dang Geoho radiated the fury he could no longer contain; it seeped into the air around him. Yet none of the guards or servants standing beside Hwarin’s mother dared to step forward.
“I heard you fled Yichang because of debt.”
“Hohoho… about that…”
“A matter that has nothing to do with me. I did not travel all the way from Yichang merely to scold you for it.”
“Then…?”
“Hwarin. Where is she?”