The Tale of Hong Gildong
It had already been two days since the Okcheon Escort Agency had failed to leave the tollgate of Heokho Fort.
"You draw blades just because we refuse to pay five times the toll? What kind of law is this!"
"Shut it! Dokcheok Escort Agency! You're going in too!"
With each passing day, their ranks of fellow captives grew.
"Huh? Looks like it isn't just us from Dokcheok Escort Agency who got dragged in. Chief Ha, isn't that Chief Ok from Okcheon Escort Agency over there?"
"Seems so."
"Chief Ok! They dragged you here too?"
"……."
A man who looked like an escort from Dokcheok Escort Agency tried to strike up a greeting, but Chief Ok ignored him with a thoroughly displeased face.
The chief of Dokcheok Escort Agency raised a hand at the sight of him and opened his mouth.
"Well, well. Chief Ok of Okcheon the Empty Man."
"And you would be Chief Ha of Abnormal Delivery, I take it?"
Was this the kind of conversation that turned lethal at the slightest graze?
They had only traded a single line each, yet both men's faces twisted into something ugly in an instant.
"You little shit!"
"How dare a junior call me Okcheon the Empty Man!"
"We're barely any different in age—what junior!"
Just how blacklisted did an escort agency have to be for their nicknames to turn out like that? Everyone already looked half-wrecked, yet they were still throwing fists over rival companies even here.
By the way, was it always this common for escort agencies and greenwood bandits to clash so often? They were hauling people in far too frequently.
"Hey. Aren't we grabbing way too many of them?"
I wasn't the only one thinking it. One of the bandits voiced the same worry to another with a troubled look.
"What can we do? Our vice-lord stuck a blade in the old fort lord and retired him to the afterlife. The whole stronghold got purged, so there's a mountain of places that need money. That's why this is happening."
So that was it.
Listening carefully to the bandits' talk let me piece together exactly how things had come to this.
Originally, Heokho Fort had been run by one fort lord and two vice-lords.
A fort lord of formidable martial skill. A vice-lord whose prowess was high but who lived on pure whim. And a vice-lord with a sharp mind and a silver tongue. The three of them had kept the stronghold running smoothly.
One day the fort lord decided he had made enough money and it was time to retire. Age had caught up with him and the retirement fund was solid; wanting a comfortable old age was understandable. The succession, though, was the problem.
Without consulting anyone, he simply handed the fort lord's seat to the clever vice-lord. I could see the logic. Hand the company to the smart one if you want the business to thrive.
The issue was that this place was as much a violent gang as it was a company.
The moment the other vice-lord heard the news, he raised a rebellion and crushed both the old fort lord's faction and the forces loyal to the remaining vice-lord in a single sweep.
In the process he "exported" a good number of talents to the afterlife and created a cash shortage, which was why they were pulling these reckless stunts now.
In the end, this whole mess wasn't some escort agency blunder. It was a farce born of Heokho Fort's money troubles.
"We've traded fine for ten years—what right do you have to do this!"
"Wonsam Escort Agency! You lot, get in there too!"
As the days dragged on, the number of captured escort agencies kept rising.
Greenwood bandits really were greenwood bandits. Every agency they dragged in might be blacklisted trash, yet they still subdued and hauled them in without fail.
"Hey! Aren't we running out of space to lock them all up?"
"Just leave it for now. When it fills up we'll do a little 'cleanup.' Heh heh heh."
The bandits shoved the escorts inside, laughed darkly, and vanished.
Once the hostages pile up, they cull the useless ones.
This was a problem. The cage holding us escorts was already so packed we could barely sit properly, never mind lie down.
If they couldn't cram any more people in, the odds of getting disposed of would skyrocket.
And the first ones to go will naturally be the barbarians with no escort affiliation and no ransom to offer.
Dang Hwarin was too far away for conversation, but she seemed to be receiving rather preferential treatment in her own cage. We had dirt floors; she was lying on a blanket and even getting something like medical care.
I was the problem.
A black-haired barbarian with zero chance of producing any money. The moment this place filled, the odds of me taking a one-way trip to the afterlife were excellent.
Before I find a way out, I need a way to stay alive first.
Whether I waited for Okcheon Escort Agency people to come negotiate or found an escape route myself, I needed a method to keep breathing until then.
A few days later.
Right in the open ground visible from the cage holding the escorts, Heokho Fort threw a banquet.
"You've all worked hard these past few days! Once we finish dealing with those bastards, every one of you gets a full purse! So eat and drink today!"
The fort lord raised his cup from the prepared platform and declared the feast open to his men.
"Yes, Vice-Lord!"
"It's Fort Lord now, you sons of bitches!"
"Hahaha! Yes, Fort Lord!"
Heokho Fort's banquet had the same wild atmosphere as high-school boys on a field trip the moment midterms ended, determined to forget the last few days of hardship.
"S-so the girl, right? She sways her hips like this, then like that!"
"Heh heh. Like this, you mean?"
I take that back. Bearded middle-aged men imitating girls while dancing and shaking their asses was pure eyesore, not the freshness of teenage boys.
"Smell. Smells damn good."
"I'm starving."
It had already been three days without a meal. The escorts could only swallow their saliva and stare blankly at the food the bandits were wolfing down.
I was hungry too.
I was staring vacantly at the feast when the fort lord of Heokho Fort suddenly stood up.
"Where the hell did that rat bastard go? A banquet without a maedamja is incomplete! Get out here and tell us something fun!"
Drunk to a rosy glow, the fort lord bellowed at his bandits.
So even Heokho Fort had its own exclusive storyteller, huh.
"Fort Lord. That Ju-ga guy belonged to the dead vice-lord's faction. Haha."
"Shit, was that it? The rat bastard picked the wrong side and got himself killed. Anyone else like that rat? If I like them, I'll throw a prize!"
The fort lord pulled a money pouch from his robes and scattered its contents across the table in front of him.
"Then I'll give it a tr—"
"But if I don't like it, your skull gets smashed to pieces!"
"……Allow me to pour you a cup instead."
The green-haired officer beside him immediately switched tactics and offered wine.
"Anyone! Is there really no one?!"
The fort lord downed a cup in an angry voice, then circled the banquet looking for someone who would tell a story. The bandits, however, were too busy dodging his gaze to keep their skulls intact.
"Fuck! One mention of a smashed skull and their balls shrink up! You useless bastards! Your whole lives are about splitting skulls or getting yours split—what are you scared of, huh?!"
Those two things felt pretty different to me.
Risking your life on bandit work might have been written into the employment contract, but risking it at the company dinner sure as hell wasn't.
Whether in the Central Plains or Joseon, the drinking culture was the real problem.
The fort lord began lecturing like a thoroughly drunk fifty-something department head looking down on a junior: "Kids these days have no guts. Back in my day we worked six days a week and took the bosses mountain-climbing on weekends! You understand?"
"Shiiiiit! Every single bastard I actually liked stuck to that dead vice-lord shit! And I'm left with this trash!"
Rage climbing to the top of his head, the fort lord grabbed a nearby wine bottle and hurled it.
The banquet froze over cold, like a lively company dinner suddenly hit with the bomb announcement that departmental performance was so bad the boss was getting chewed out upstairs, so everyone should prepare for all-nighters starting tomorrow.
The moment the department head—no, the fort lord—left, the whole place would be full of backbiting.
The bandits watched him with carefully restrained dislike so he wouldn't notice.
And situations like this were opportunities for someone.
"I'll give it a try!"
I circulated the Soyun Shimsanggyeol and projected my voice, strengthened by internal energy, so it cut across the frozen banquet and reached the fort lord.
Every bandit present snapped their gaze toward me.
From here on I have to show them my value.
I had to make them see me as someone worth keeping alive.
If I could catch the eye of the fort lord who made that judgment, I might live—and maybe even snatch a chance to escape.
"Who the hell are you!"
"A traveling maedamja!"
I spoke with complete confidence, whether the stares poured onto me or not.
"Wh-what? A maedamja?"
"A banquet without a maedamja is incomplete! Open this cage and I'll pull out one hell of a story for you."
Fort Lord of Heokho. You need me, don't you? Get me out already.
"Hey! Barbarian! Can't you see the Fort Lord's pissed? You looking to die?"
"What maedamja is a barbarian shit?"
"Fort Lord! Looks like the bastard's so hungry he lost his fear altogether."
"What's a barbarian know about any fun story, spouting bullshit."
Then you lot do it. The bandits, eager for a scapegoat to break the awkward atmosphere, kept heaping abuse on me.
"Quiet! Barbarian. Are you really a maedamja?"
One word from the fort lord froze the banquet solid again.
"In Chilgok County, if you didn't know the black-haired maedamja, people called you an outsider—I was that famous!"
I spoke with confidence radiating from every pore.
"……Chilgok County? Black-haired maedamja? Wait, isn't that bastard Gangmo?"
"Who's Gangmo?"
"Gangmo? That story about the Ha family manor or the Seong family manor?"
"Ah! I've heard of him too! They say if you go to Chilgok County you have to hear that maedamja's stories!"
Thankfully someone knew my name.
Well, my fame had already spread even from Daeheung County where the Seong Family Manor once stood. Heokho Fort wasn't that far from Chilgok County, so it wasn't strange some people had heard of me.
"That maedamja! Bring him out!"
I stepped out of the cage and walked into the banquet grounds.
"Is it really Gangmo? Word was he'd gone off to be a house guest at some rich place."
"So is he lying?"
"You. Are you really the maedamja they call Gangmo?"
When I stood before the fort lord of Heokho, he eyed me with open suspicion.
"Yes. I'm the maedamja who told stories in Chilgok County, and I'm also the maedamja who found wandering the Nine Provinces telling tales far more enjoyable than living as a rich man's guest and ran away for it."
"That so? You say you'll tell a story. You walked out bold enough, so I assume you're prepared for your skull to get smashed if it isn't fun?"
The fort lord looked down on me with a face flushed from drink and stroked the blade at his waist.
Don't flinch.
If I stayed like this I was dead anyway.
"Haha. That won't happen. In fact, once you hear my story you'll be clutching your heads from how fun it is, so everyone watch your skulls."
I laughed brazenly, let the fort lord's malice slide off me, and looked out over the people of the stronghold.
"Keh heh heh. This one's a bit like that dead rat bastard. Definitely a proper maedamja shit. Fine! Then tell the story right now!"
"I can't do it right away."
I flatly refused the fort lord's order.
"What? Is this bastard joking?"
The fort lord scowled and made no effort to hide his anger.
If I got scared and jumped to obey here, I'd be a small fry.
If I simply submitted, all that would remain in the fort lord's mind was "there's a decent storyteller prisoner." That was it.
I had to push back against his opinion and lodge myself in his thoughts.
Make him accept my reasoning and get my way.
Through that process I would leave a mark in his mind—and if things went well, even earn some real goodwill.
"Fort Lord! When you go to work you always strap that blade at your waist, don't you? When I work as a maedamja, I use a black bamboo hat and a folding fan. But right now neither of them is in my hands."
I held out my empty palms, limp and hollow, appealing that I simply could not tell a story like this.
"Keh heh heh. This one's got guts. Wants his fan and hat, does he? Aren't you scared of getting your skull smashed?"
"There's no greenwood bandit who shows up naked when they hear an escort agency is coming, is there?"
"Keh heh. Fair point. This bastard! I like him better than those shriveled-ball shits who can't open their mouths! You lot standing there like idiots—go find this bastard's gear!"
"Yes, understood."
Thank god. It worked. I calmed the trembling in my chest and waited for my combat equipment to arrive.
"Here it is!"
I put on the black bamboo hat the bandit returned and took the folding fan in hand, then climbed onto the platform.
"Keh heh heh. We even got you your gear. If it still isn't fun, your skull will split all the way down to your balls, understand?"
The fort lord watched me from behind as I stepped onto the platform.
"You can look forward to it."
Unlike Hwarin, my body couldn't be split and recombined, so I had to put my back into this.
"Greetings! I am the maedamja from Joseon! Kangmo!"
Snap! As always, I flicked open the folding fan and introduced myself before the bandits.
"Barbarian maedamja!!! So what story are you going to tell!!!"
"Even if you were big in Chilgok County! You're still a barbarian! Let's see it!"
"If it isn't fun, I'll stick a blade in you myself!"
From the platform I looked out over the bandits, steeped in murder, violence, and wine.
What story should I tell?
No matter how entertaining a tale was, you had to pull it out matching the time and place.
A bloody atmosphere, yet one full of expectation.
In a situation like this, I had to match them.
The most entertaining story for this moment. A story the bandits of Heokho Fort could relate to.
There was only one tale worth pulling out here.
"The Joseon story I will tell you now is of a legendary figure of Joseon!"
A piece of folk literature that had passed through Joseon for hundreds of years and was still widely known even in modern Korea.
"The bandit who stole a country! The righteous thief who became the hope of the people! The hero who opened a new world!"
A man who rose through every hardship the world threw at him and opened a new era.
A figure loved by everyone from Joseon's lowest commoners to the yangban, and even, as ages passed, by the people of the Republic of Korea.
The story I would tell today was—
"The Tale of Hong Gildong!!!"