Hitler vs. Stalin (1)
The Prussians likely believed they could solve political problems with the military, but the reality was quite the opposite. Most of the issues plaguing the Austro-Hungarian imperial army were deeply intertwined with politics.
However, after Shtal implemented a series of reforms starting in the early 1900s, those military issues were partially resolved. If one were to list the flaws of the imperial army, the primary culprit was the dual system of Austria-Hungary itself.
To begin with, even the parliament responsible for allocating the military budget was split in two. The Hungarians and the Austrians fought not for the empire, but for Hungary and Austria respectively.
Of course, this problem was solved when Shtal and Hitler effectively dismantled Hungary. Now, there was no Hungary—only the Hungarian Agricultural Cooperative.
The second issue was also ethnic. The empire did not consist of only two nationalities. In the original timeline, these various groups possessed zero loyalty to the empire, much like the aristocratic officer corps, which had caused catastrophic failures.
But with Shtal's arrival, they had developed a semblance of patriotism. There would be no mass desertions like in the original history. However...
"We will launch an attack on the Serbian army at noon today! The infantry will split into two columns and strike both flanks!"
"...What the hell is he saying?"
"You know German! Translate it for us."
"I think he said we're attacking the Serbians at midnight?"
"Then we might as well get some sleep until then."
"What are those Czechs whispering about? Someone translate it into Polish!"
There were over ten languages spoken in the empire! Unlike Russia, the United States, or Great Britain, there wasn't even a single dominant language like Russian or English. Strictly speaking, Hungarian and German were the most widely used, but the proportion of other language speakers was far too large to ignore.
The advanced tactics devised by Shtal, Ferdinand, and elite German officers—the military application of the Stahl-Ferdinand Model—relied on inducing chaotic close-quarters combat on the front lines with overwhelming firepower, followed by rapid maneuvers to collapse the enemy line itself. This was the only truly effective doctrine for the Great War.
And that doctrine required elite shocktroopers to execute agile, complex maneuvers. But how could they do that when they couldn't even understand each other? In the end, there was only one method left for the Austro-Hungarian imperial army.
"Just charge! Charge!"
"I think the German officer is telling us to charge!"
"Finally, something I can understand! Just charge!"
"Fire the cannons now!"
"He says fire the cannons!"
Their tactical options had been narrowed down to a mindless, brute-force charge. No matter how battered Serbia was from their "special military operation" against Greece, they were still seasoned veterans who had survived a year of the Great War.
"The Austrians are coming to die!"
"They're just walking out in the open without any cover?"
"What the... where did they sell all those airplanes and combat tractors we saw during the fight with Greece?"
"Haha, look at those idiots shelling their own men!"
Thanks to the abysmal performance of the Austro-Hungarian imperial army, Serbia somehow managed to hold the border near Bosnia. As soon as Shtal returned to the country and witnessed this reality, he was utterly appalled.
"...The casualties are currently at this level?"
"There is no problem. In any case, the Serbian army no longer has the capacity to sustain the war. If we keep pushing our forces like this, Serbia will inevitably be finished."
The Chief of Staff of the Imperial Army, Franz Conrad von Hötzendorf. Technically, Hötzendorf wasn't wrong. Even though they were surrounded on three fronts and couldn't exert their full strength in the Balkans, they were still pushing the front line forward, albeit slowly. But...
"But the number of casualties makes absolutely no sense! Does it make sense to suffer over a hundred thousand casualties against a pathetic Serbian army?"
"Representative Shtal, you know nothing of the military. Aren't you just a corporate representative? Leave military matters to the experts!"
"Sigh... I am well aware of the difficulties the imperial army is facing. Isn't that why I came?"
Yes, strictly speaking, I had no authority over the military. I was merely the representative of the SFW Chemical Company and the major shareholder of the Hungarian and Bosnian Agricultural Cooperatives.
"If language and communication are the issues, mobilize the Revolutionary Guards. They are composed of single ethnicities, so they won't have these problems."
"...The Agricultural Cooperative Revolutionary Guards are nothing more than a private army of a single company, not even a proper law enforcement agency. They have absolutely no authority in this war."
...Was this for real? No wonder Hitler and Stalin were just slacking off in Hungary and Bosnia. The Austrian military was completely looking down on the Revolutionary Guards as a mere militia group.
Although there were indeed many issues with the Revolutionary Guards—such as being "militia-like," "lacking professionalism," and "lacking absolute numbers"—these were areas where cooperation between the imperial army and the Revolutionary Guards could offset each other's weaknesses while maximizing their strengths. I urged Chief of Staff Hötzendorf once more.
"If authority is the issue, that can be resolved. I will personally propose it to His Majesty and His Imperial Highness Archduke Franz Ferdinand."
"Look here. I have absolutely no intention of entrusting the fate of our empire to an unidentified group like the Revolutionary Guards."
"...Pardon?"
"Even if an order were issued to work with the Revolutionary Guards, wouldn't they just be ignored by the front-line officers?"
The military of the Austro-Hungarian Empire was also filled with nobles carrying the "von" title. Although they didn't dominate politics to the extent of their German counterparts, it conversely meant that commoners without a "von" had no chance of even getting close. The aristocratic officer corps exclusively monopolized the military in exchange for their loyalty to the Kaiser.
I quickly went to Archduke Franz Ferdinand to vent about this.
"...Those dog-like noble bastards! If the war had broken out just five or ten years later, I would have destroyed that privileged class."
"Why on earth are they acting like this?"
"If the Revolutionary Guards act as the hammer, the imperial army would be nothing but the anvil. Wouldn't that reduce their chances of winning medals and glory? Besides, Chief of Staff Hötzendorf is a man obsessed with medals."
Unbelievable. Because I was busy crushing the Hungarian nobility and implementing radical social democratic reforms, I hadn't been able to touch the Austrian nobility. What if a real coup broke out? Moreover, no matter how detestable the nobility was, they were still the empire's top military experts. I had left them alone because it seemed impossible to fight properly without them.
"Does His Majesty know about this?"
"How could he not? His Majesty simply doesn't want to poke a hornet's nest in the middle of a war. As that incompetent Chief of Staff said, we can eventually push back Serbia and Italy given enough time."
"By grinding up the lives of the people, you mean."
It wasn't as if Archduke Franz Ferdinand hadn't thought of deploying the Revolutionary Guards. No matter how perfectly the Emperor maintained civilian control and held the military in his grip, war was still an extension of politics. The Emperor could not simply ignore the wishes of the nobility, who were a major political faction.
In the original history, the imperial army would have been utterly crushed by Russia and even a petty nation like Serbia, calling GG in no time. But the butterfly effect of my historical alterations had returned in a strange way.
Due to an unprecedented economic boom, capitalists were churning out goods like crazy, even things they couldn't sell. Normally, a depression due to overproduction wouldn't have been surprising, but in a war situation, the vast amount of materials actually boosted logistical capabilities.
Normally, desertions and draft evasion should have been rampant due to ethnic issues. But thanks to Stahlism, even though the soldiers couldn't understand each other, they willingly threw their lives away under the incompetent tactics of the officer corps.
Originally, the Austro-Hungarian Empire was the hegemon of Central Europe, and its sheer weight class was nothing to scoff at. The only problem was that they couldn't utilize that weight class properly. Even with all their blunders... the imperial army was holding on!
"The casualties are high, and the advance is slow... but anyway, the war situation itself isn't bad."
"That is the problem. It might be fine in the short term, but when we fight a massive nation like Russia, a problem will inevitably explode. We cannot leave it like this."
That wasn't the only problem. While I was watching with my own eyes, they were using tactics that mindlessly ground up soldiers!
"In any case, we can't just stand by."
"...But what can we do? There is no opportunity in the first place. To get an opportunity, we have to wait until the imperial army suffers a major defeat."
Yes, if we waited like this, the imperial military would eventually suffer a major defeat. In fact, a defeat so massive that it would severely impact the war effort was waiting. But...
Putting aside the helpless deaths of the soldiers, if the imperial army blundered so badly that we lost the war, that would be extremely problematic in its own right.
"There is a way."
"A way? Without His Majesty the Kaiser's permission, the Revolutionary Guards cannot go to the front. Since there is no opportunity, what way could there be?"
Although my base was in Austria-Hungary, I had just returned from fighting in France only a few days ago. There was a reason I stubbornly refused to take an official title and only operated under the title of "Representative." If I were openly affiliated with the imperial army, the Social Democratic Workers' Party, or the Agricultural Cooperative, my movements wouldn't be nearly as free as they were now.
And the Revolutionary Guards were also in a somewhat ambiguous position. Although the Hungarian Revolutionary Guards acted as a law enforcement agency within Hungary, and the Bosnian Revolutionary Guards went a step further to act as border guards, they were still ultimately just security guards for a company called the Agricultural Cooperative. They possessed far less public authority and power than even the state-sanctioned German Armed Cooperative Alliance. That was why they were being kept in check by the military under the pretext of having "no authority."
"...That is the current situation of the Agricultural Cooperative Revolutionary Guards."
"And?"
"To put it the other way around, it means we can move far more freely than the imperial army. Although the Revolutionary Guards are controlled by the cooperative's board of directors, it means they are free from parliament, budgets, political dynamics, and diplomatic relations."
"Which means...?"
"Yes. It means we don't necessarily have to fight alongside the imperial army."
The Agricultural Cooperative Revolutionary Guards could be deployed 100% like volunteers. They didn't need to sit idly on the northern Serbian front, being ignored by the imperial army. If they wanted to fight Serbia in the Balkans... couldn't they just go to Greece?
I immediately conveyed my desire to move the Revolutionary Guards to the Kaiser. The military, thrilled to throw the eyesore of the Revolutionary Guards to a foreign country, welcomed it with open arms.
Thus, the combat tractor units of the Hungarian Agricultural Cooperative Revolutionary Guards and the notorious guerrilla units of the Bosnian Agricultural Cooperative Revolutionary Guards gathered in one place.
"I am Stalin, commander of the Bosnian Revolutionary Guards guerrillas."
"I am Hitler, chairman of the Hungarian Agricultural Cooperative."
"I have heard much of Chairman Hitler's reputation. Your fame for crushing the Hungarian noble rebels in one fell swoop with combat tractors has reached all the way to Russia."
"The rumors that the mere mention of Commander Stalin's name makes people tremble in fear in Serbia are also quite famous."
Thus, a magnificent sight was unfolding before my eyes: the two mustaches fighting on the same side.
Of course, history had changed. Perhaps the biggest change was their facial hair. Hitler did not have his famous toothbrush mustache, but rather a Kaiser mustache, while Stalin, conversely, sported a splendid beard.
Both of them were notorious executioners in the original history. They had even signed a non-aggression pact and split Poland in half, so wouldn't they get along quite well?
Thinking that, I had put them together, but surprisingly, they were like cats and dogs, clashing over every little thing.
"Commander Stalin! If you handle things this way, when will the war ever end? The correct approach is to infiltrate Belgrade in one swift stroke with rapid maneuver!"
"Chairman Hitler, the purpose of war is to defeat the opponent, not to vanquish them in a flashy manner."
Having suppressed the noble rebels in Hungary, Hitler preferred short, decisive battles. On the other hand, Stalin, having dealt with Serbia in Bosnia, favored a method of steadily wearing them down through guerrilla warfare. Starting from these strategic differences...
"Chairman Hitler! Bureaucrats don't document everything in writing because they are idiots and rigid! What do you expect us to do when you draw up a plan like this!"
"Look here. The war is right in front of us. We are about to land in Athens, so when are we supposed to write orders and get approvals? Because you are so rigid, your subordinates can't even breathe."
"...I dislike you. You are better suited to be a stage actor than a politician. Hurry up and quit being the cooperative chairman, and go paint your beloved pictures."
"Do you think I like you either?! Stalin, you are a psychopath. Go watch mass games with the Kaiser. You're both obsessive-compulsive, so you'll get along great."
During the ten days they traveled together to Greece, they clashed on absolutely everything, from politics and military affairs to daily habits. And now, they had reached a point where they wouldn't even look each other in the eye.
In any case, the Hungarian Agricultural Cooperative and the Bosnian Agricultural Cooperative were independent organizations. Like Kato Kiyomasa and Konishi Yukinaga during the Imjin War, they had entered a relationship of fierce competition for achievements.
...It was a good thing I came along. "Kato and Konishi" was a polite way of putting it. It was obvious they would hate each other to death like the Imperial Japanese Navy and Army. If I hadn't been there to mediate, they might have ended up engaging in friendly fire, sinking the Revolutionary Guards entirely.