Eve of the Great War (1)
When Stahlism first revealed itself under the name of the Stahl-Ferdinand Model, its influence was strictly confined to Eastern and Central Europe. This was because Stahlism was viewed merely as a counterweight to the extreme nationalism rising in the Balkans. Marx Stahl himself had grown by devouring the German nationalism of Karl Lueger, who had now vanished without a trace.
But everything changed after the Hungarian agricultural revolution and the establishment of the Agricultural Cooperatives. Once the "revolution" became a reality—much like the Russian Revolution of 1917 in my past life—left-wing factions infatuated with the concept of revolution came pouring out. Soon, there was no one on the entire continent who did not know the name of Stahl. After all, wasn't he already a genius chemist famous for discovering penicillin and the nitrogen fixation process?
And as for the situation in France, which lay just across the channel from Great Britain in Western Europe...
"The Republic must stop oppressing its citizens, pfft!"
"Abolish the state! Screeech!"
"What is wrong with those retards?"
"Looks like they haven't tasted enough tear gas yet."
Of course, the trend of building barricades on every street and establishing micro-communes in the name of Stahlism was now over. It was only after those lunatics who used "pfft!" as a salute ran amok that reality slowly began to set in. The riffraff who simply wanted to use the revolution as an excuse to cause chaos were weeded out. Now that only the true intellectuals remained, they needed to redefine their theory. And they inevitably ran into a problem very similar to the one Stahl himself had faced before.
"What on earth is Stahlism anyway?"
"It seems to be a branch of socialism."
"But can we really count that kind of garbage as socialism? The labor theory of value, the critique of capitalism, class equality, historical materialism... all the core tenets of Marxism are completely missing!"
Indeed. It was only Stahl's enemies who branded Stahlism as red. Paris, the very heartland of socialism, could not bring itself to recognize Stahlism as "socialism." Then what in God's name was Stahlism? That was the very conundrum intellectuals faced when they encountered it.
"It's red. It's definitely red, but..."
"This is not the flavor of socialism I know!"
In truth, this was because Stahl himself had learned Das Kapital through the equivalent of Wikipedia—pop-sci reference books. On top of that, Stahl himself didn't even know what Stahlism was. Frankly, was Maoism even socialism? It was much like how all the chaotic messes Mao Zedong threw together on a whim were later summarized by scholars as "radical direct democracy" and "an alternative to the regression of revolution caused by bureaucracy." Ultimately, compiling Stahlism into a single, unified text was the task left to the new generation of revolutionaries.
"Ah, please, someone tell me! What on earth is Stahlism?!"
"Should we try establishing a French Agricultural Cooperative? We should at least follow a proven method."
"Then is our enemy the Royalists?"
"I don't think so. Stahl himself is a royalist. Besides, who even cares about Royalists these days?"
"Then the capitalists?"
"That doesn't seem right either! The biggest financial backer of the Agricultural Cooperatives is Wittgenstein!"
"Then the nationalists?"
"The situations in Austria and France are completely different. France is a nation-state with a single dominant ethnicity."
Unable to bear this baffling ambiguity, the revolutionaries began to drift back to traditional socialism one by one, or seek entirely new alternatives. The wave of Stahlism was slowly receding.
And at that very moment, three legitimate heirs of Stahlism were dropped into France.
The founder of Stahl-Leninism, Vladimir Lenin! (Though he vehemently denied it.)
The father of Fart-Stahlism and Stahl's subordinate, Sigmund Freud!
And finally, Stahl's father, Schmidt Stahl, who had come to sightsee in Paris, a city he had always romanticized!
Excluding Mr. Schmidt Stahl, who was essentially a useless sack of potatoes, these men were precisely the ones who could quench the thirst of the intellectuals starving for Stahlism. Freud and Lenin had each been thoroughly schooled in the bundles of future knowledge that Stahl had brought with him.
"Professor Freud. You must always be skeptical of any science that deals with humanity itself and seeks to alter our perception of human nature. Is mental illness truly just mental illness? If you don't understand what I mean, consider this: defining something as an object of treatment is, in itself, an exercise of power. It is the operation of scientific power drawing the line between the normal and the abnormal."
"Comrade Lenin, your revolutionary theory might actually be better suited for France. Seizing control of the cities where social functions are concentrated in one fell swoop. Conversely, you must also remember the failure of the Paris Commune. The lack of military power, the encirclement by the countryside. These are the problems you must solve."
Though Stahl might have been ignorant of Das Kapital and traditional socialism, he was reasonably well-versed in structuralism, postmodernism, Maoism, and Foucault's theories—which, by 21st-century standards, were cutting-edge philosophies. Under the influence of Freud and Lenin, the French intellectuals began to shed the French brand of Stahlism—the derogatory term Fart-Stahlism—and started to establish true Avant-garde Stahlism.
Before the aftershocks of Fart-Stahlism could even fade, Marx Stahl's Nobel Prize acceptance speech triggered the return of barricades to Paris. Strikes and occupations erupted across universities and factories. This time, the scale was unimaginably larger than before.
"What? Some insolent upper-class bastard dared to look down on me, a worker?"
"Kill them first! Burn it all down!"
"Everyone, join the French Cultural Revolution! Smash Notre-Dame Cathedral! Break the crosses!"
Of course, their actions weren't all that different from Fart-Stahlism, but at least they had a proper theoretical foundation now, didn't they? The French were a people who, by nature, could never tolerate anyone standing above them. Rather than Marxism, which merely replaced existing authority with another form of authority through the dictatorship of the proletariat, Avant-garde Stahlism—which advocated for the total deconstruction of all authority—suited the French temperament perfectly.
Just as Stahl had laid the groundwork for mass politics by fighting German nationalism, they now waged a struggle against Marxism to seize hegemony over the left wing.
"The claims of the Marxist reds are an utter sham! They are nothing but dictators who want to play king themselves!"
"The Stahlism reds can't change anything except by smashing things! According to Das Kapital, the commodity economy determines everything, so we must change the economic structure first!"
"Think of Stahl's Nobel speech! Where was the capital, and where was the economy in those horrific concentration camps built by the Serbians? Ideology and cultural revolution must come first!"
France was broken. The center-right cabinet of Joseph Caillaux, established in June 1911, was dissolved in January 1912 due to its pro-German foreign policy and the uprising of Stahlism. Of course, the dissolution of the cabinet did not deviate much from original history; it was practically a French national pastime. However, the state of the newly reorganized government after the dissolution was starkly different from original history.
To achieve the Stahlism motto of "moderate reform through parliamentary entry," the Avant-garde Stahlists founded an enigmatic political party called the Avant-garde Party.
"Those farting bastards have revolted again?"
"Now those lunatics are going to enter parliament under the banner of Stahlism. Who knows what kind of madness they'll pull! Vulgar, utterly vulgar!"
"This might turn into something worse than the Paris Commune. We must never surrender the parliament to them."
"Then what do we do?"
"Look at the German Empire. Perhaps the Marxists are far more reasonable to deal with than those rioters!"
Furthermore, the Marxists could not withstand the relentless onslaught of the Avant-garde Party. Thus, the conservatives and liberals began drifting leftward on economic policy, while the socialists abandoned internationalism and embraced nationalism. Through mutual compromise, a coalition government was formed.
"The Republican Federation of France, the Democratic Republican Alliance, the Radical-Socialist Party, and the French Section of the Workers' International (SFIO) have resolved to form the National-Socialist Alliance to stand against the tide of Stahlism."
It was a shocking event in French politics, comparable to a merger of the top four political parties in parliament. Of course, it wasn't just a simple merger to create a dominant single-party system. As politicians migrated to either the patriotic leagues or the Avant-garde Party depending on their inclinations, Stahlism maintained a solid level of competitiveness.
On top of that, Vladimir Lenin had retreated to the countryside and diligently established liberated zones similar to the Hungarian Agricultural Cooperatives. As a result, they avoided a scenario where Paris was completely isolated by the rural areas. Freud in the cities, Lenin in the countryside—together, they had turned France upside down. When this happened, Great Britain, which had previously dismissed France's constant leftward shifts as a mere national pastime, could no longer sit idly by.
The uncultured continental ruffians might be driven mad by Stahlism, but Great Britain—the birthplace of capitalism and a den of capitalists—remained immune to the craze. The agricultural sector, which was the largest support base for Stahlism, accounted for a measly 7% of Britain's GDP. Furthermore, under the weight of Puritan traditions, Avant-garde Stahlism could not gain any traction.
There were no ethnic conflicts. There was no reason for the monarch or the military to join hands with Stahlism. Thanks to their highly advanced capitalism, classical Marxism still retained its popularity. At best, it was viewed as a bizarre ideology favored only by young, pseudo-economists like John Maynard Keynes, who spouted nonsense about partially adopting Stahlism, or attention-seeking figures like George Bernard Shaw.
• George Bernard Shaw Sparks Controversy: "Freud and Lenin must visit London next."
• Professor Keynes of Cambridge Declares: "Economic stimulus through colonial exploitation has reached its limits," openly endorsing Stahlism!
In Great Britain, Stahlism was treated as nothing more than a foreign curiosity. Yet, Prime Minister Herbert of the Liberal cabinet found himself sighing more and more each day. Occupying the position of the only sane man in Europe, he felt a creeping sense of dread. W-what on earth is happening on the continent?
In the less than ten years since the Stahl-Ferdinand Model had first come to light, the continent had descended into utter chaos. It wasn't as if Prime Minister Herbert had done anything wrong. He had strictly adhered to Britain's traditional foreign policy: if someone on the continent got too big for their boots, beat them down; if they touched Britain's core interests, beat them down just the same. Herbert had not violated this principle in the slightest.
Germany and the Austro-Hungarian Empire have both been kicking own goals day after day, chasing after this insane nonsense called Stahlism. While war raged in the Balkans, we safely secured the Suez Canal, our Empire's core interest. For the time being, there was no risk of major powers like Russia or the Ottomans throwing tantrums in the Black Sea. But... how did it come to this?
And now, France was about to fall to that very same Stahlism. Prime Minister Herbert felt a cold shiver run down his spine.
"What on earth was the Liberal Party doing while the Austro-Hungarian Empire seized hegemony in the Balkans?!"
"The great powers of Central Europe were all bogged down in the Balkan quagmire. Our strategy was not wrong."
"And because of that, Serbia has become an international thug, and Greece has become Austria's puppet?!"
"......Istanbul and the Suez will remain safe for the foreseeable future. The Balkans are fine."
"They won't be fine in the future. And Paris is certainly not fine right now."
Prime Minister Herbert scrambled to cobble together excuses. But the reality was undeniable: hegemony over the Balkans had shifted to Austria; a concept of national revolution—an ideology even more vulgar than Stahlism—had swept the continent; and the largest opposition party in Paris was spouting mad demands to grant independence to all colonies.
Would the results be any different if you Tories took power?
The words rose to the tip of Herbert's tongue. But he knew well that saying it was pointless. If the Conservatives had been in this position, the Liberals would have been just as eager to tear them to shreds.
"So what are you going to do?! Are you going to hand over the government?!"
"Do you think you lot would be any different?!"
"At the very least, we wouldn't sit around twiddling our thumbs in sheer incompetence!"
"Are you finished?"
Eventually, a brawl worthy of the UFC erupted in Parliament. Prime Minister Herbert sighed once more.
"Enough, enough! From this moment on, the Austro-Hungarian Empire has become a nation far more dangerous than the Russian Empire of the past. Whatever the circumstances, I concede this point."
"Then what do you propose we do?"
"Nothing has fundamentally changed yet. France and Russia are still allies, and Germany and the Austro-Hungarian Empire are still hostile nations. We are simply shifting the scales of containment a little further east, and a little further south."
It was now Great Britain's turn to step into the Balkans.