The Kaiser's Obsession

"What is the core of the Stahl-Ferdinand Model?"

"Schools and hospitals, obviously."

"Maybe it's the lottery...?"

"No, it's improving the streets' aesthetics to secure public order!"

Of course, schools, hospitals, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and lotteries were projects that required massive capital. While Ottakring in the 16th District, where Stahl had established his base, could easily pull it off thanks to the Archduke's funding, such money could not be poured into other slums like the 15th District, where Stahl's reach did not yet extend. This was because the Social Democratic Workers' Party and its supporters were, as a rule, dirt poor.

In the end, the reforms focused primarily on things that cost no money. The workers spared what little time they had, took up brooms, and swept the streets. Once the streets were clean, all kinds of posters began to plaster the walls.

"Even so, we're socialists... isn't putting up posters of the Archduke a bit much?"

"True. In that case, we have no choice but to put up Director Stahl's posters!"

And so, posters of Stahl—rendered three times handsomer than his actual self—were plastered all over the streets.

To summarize the Stahl-Ferdinand Model:

Achieving economic growth and welfare simultaneously through large-scale infrastructure improvements.

Acquiring political influence through the economic growth of the working class.

Left-wing politics centered on the impoverished masses, the so-called lumpenproletariat.

And finally, a slum that had achieved a staggering improvement—at least to the naked eye—with nothing more than a few posters and some sweeping.

"To think there was such a cheap and simple way..."

"What if we even get public toilets here? Dark alleys are hotbeds for all kinds of crimes!"

"Streetlights! We need streetlights too!"

Naturally, the popularity of the Stahl-Ferdinand Model skyrocketed.

Furthermore, what was needed to implement the Stahl-Ferdinand Model without any money was manpower and organizational strength. The slum dwellers, having seen the immediate effects of mere sweeping, began to form their own organizations to launch larger campaigns. Depending on the local leanings—whether a parish with strong Catholic influence, a neighborhood with socialist tendencies, or an area loyal to the imperial family—organizations with various names cropped up like mushrooms after rain.

Of course, as they carried out these mass movements, they naturally chanted the names of Stahl and Ferdinand. Sometimes Stahl was hailed as a socialist revolutionary, other times as Saint Stahl, and at other times as the Archduke's patron.

Naturally, the intellectuals also caught fire over this new topic of debate. What on earth was the true identity of Stahl-Ferdinandism? Was it socialism? A compromise with the imperial family? Or a variation of classical Catholic charity?

"Director Stahl! What is your stance on the monarchy?"

"Is His Majesty the Emperor not the very symbol of the Austrian people?"

"What about the criticisms from the Catholic Church?"

"Ah! I, too, have been deeply influenced by the encyclicals issued by His Holiness the Pope. Capitalists who exploit workers are also committing a sin against Christ."

Stahl offered only the most ambiguous answers when it came to the imperial family and the Catholic Church.

But of course:

"More importantly, we cannot overlook the behavior of the Christian Social Party. They are Satanists and the Antichrist."

"Pardon? What makes you say that...?"

"Because they practice the politics of hate while pretending to champion the people. I have compiled and analyzed Karl Lueger's statements in the newspapers. References to 'Jews' account for eighty percent of his vocabulary, and sentences linking Jews with 'massacre' make up a whopping ten percent."

He never missed an opportunity to bash the Christian Social Party!

In any case, Stahl's ambiguous attitude allowed the intellectuals to interpret him however they pleased.

"Stahl is the true materialist!"

"Are you insane? How can someone who props up the Archduke and recognizes Christianity be a materialist?"

"What does the monarchy or Christianity matter? What matters is the workers' income, and even more important is the change in the relations of production!"

"But the monarchy and the Church are the very things obstructing that achievement!"

"What if the imperial family and the Church actually encourage changes in the relations of production? The Archduke is the First Proletarian, and the imperial family is the vanguard party!"

Still, Stahl had been a student of philosophy in his past life. Although Marxism was (self-proclaimed) economics, could a philosopher who knew nothing of Marxism truly be called a philosopher? Stahl shook his head in disbelief at the intellectuals' wild theories.

...These bastards are completely out of their minds.

Of course, these intellectuals knew nothing of the Soviet Union, China, Cuba, or North Korea. Thus, their concept of "socialism" was quite flexible. Furthermore, with revolutions repeatedly failing since 1848, many had long turned their attention to "reformism." In particular, the stronger the socialist tradition was, and the harsher the suppression it faced, the stronger this reformist tendency became. After all, in real history, didn't revolutions break out in places like Russia and China long before they did in Britain, France, or Germany—the actual birthplaces of socialism?

Even so...

Constitutional monarchist socialism. Good ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠grief.

Well, it wasn't entirely impossible. Even in the 1970s, priests had taken up AK-47s to join the revolutionary front lines, inspired by the likes of Saint Che Guevara.

Thus, Stahl continuously reached out to the Catholic Church and the imperial family.

He kept shaking up the Catholic establishment with this pitch, but they didn't sway as easily as he had hoped. Why?

I shouldn't have compared them to the 21st-century Catholic Church. The Church and the Christian Social Party are cut from the same cloth!

There was a reason Marx had taken the lead in bashing Christianity, famously calling religion the opium of the people. Of course, even the high clergy knew that the Christian Social Party was vulgarity personified. Yet, the reason they still joined hands with them was simple:

"The Jews are the race that killed our Lord Jesus, so they must be made to wear ridiculous hats."

"Women's suffrage? The Bible explicitly states that women should keep silent in the churches, does it not?"

However, the parish priests working on the ground in the heavily populated slums of the 16th and 15th Districts thought quite differently.

"The right to private property is a God-given right. We cannot deny it."

"...However, as His Holiness the Pope has also stated, the exploitation of workers by capitalists is likewise a sin in the eyes of God."

"The actions of workers who strike and instigate riots are certainly sinful. Yet, their motivation is merely the threat to their very survival."

The domestic Catholic hierarchy in the empire and the Vatican held distinctly different attitudes. The Vatican itself was continuously reaching out to socialists. Following Rome's lead, the frontline priests who lived close to the proletariat were walking a path clearly distinct from that of their local dioceses.

From the perspective of a 21st-century historian, Franz Joseph I was undeniably an incompetent ruler. He was a man who stubbornly maintained an absolute monarchy while ignoring the explosive tides of liberalism and nationalism. In the midst of all this, he lost every single war he fought, ruined his foreign policy in every possible way, and ultimately ran his empire into the ground.

And yet, the empire technically should have collapsed during the Hungarian Revolution of 1848. It should have collapsed again during the wars against Prussia and Italy. It should have collapsed yet again during the revolution of 1905, which lay in the future. Like so many absolute monarchies in Europe, the Austro-Hungarian Empire was constantly on the brink of ruin. An empire that was a complete mess—second only to its arch-rival, the Ottoman Empire—it should have been the next to fall after the already half-ruined Ottomans. It wouldn't have been surprising if it had collapsed even before the Russian Empire, where the deification of the Tsar was crumbling.

Yet, each time, Franz Joseph I had gritted his teeth and dragged the empire through the crises by sheer force of personal will.

"Your Majesty. Here is the status report regarding the coalition with the SDAP."

The Kaiser meticulously read the report presented by the Prime Minister.

The Social Democratic Workers' Party is a band of traitors. They are a dangerous and radical element that threatens the order of the empire.

As of 1901, Franz Joseph I had been ruling for fifty years. This long reign had made him extremely stubborn and obstinate, but it had also highly refined his political instincts. While 21st-century historians who knew the future argued that he should have embraced liberalism or guaranteed ethnic autonomy back then, the truth was that if liberalism or nationalism got out of control, the empire would instantly explode. What other answer was there besides suppression?

And yet...

This is similar to when we formed the Dual Monarchy through the compromise with Hungary.

To compromise with a force that seemed utterly uncontrollable and somehow bring them within the boundaries of control—that was Franz Joseph I's political strategy.

In the Kaiser's estimation, a coalition with the Social Democratic Workers' Party was not a bad idea. In fact, it was a game-changing move that surpassed even the Austro-Hungarian Compromise.

Liberals are bound to tear down the empire. But... what about socialists?

The empire would raise its subjects from the cradle to the grave. They would be nurtured by the Kaiser and die at the Kaiser's command. Nominally, it would be "worker-owned." But in reality, the workers would receive their wages from enterprises owned by the state—which meant the Kaiser. They would buy their daily bread from retail shops directly operated by the Kaiser. And thanks to that bizarre Stahl-Ferdinand Model, portraits of the Kaiser would hang on every street corner.

Perhaps this was a shield that could block not only liberalism but also the utterly distasteful bourgeoisie. At the same time, it was a scheme to perfectly control the reds who threatened social order. And finally, it was a means to achieve the Kaiser's ultimate dream: the maintenance of a paranoid, absolute order.

"Um, Your Majesty. How shall we proceed? Archduke Ferdinand is dangerous."

The minister, who effectively represented the nobility, was itching to drag Ferdinand down.

Franz Joseph I looked coldly at his Prime Minister.

Indeed. From your perspective, it would be far easier to exploit a fourteen-year-old Archduke Karl or the half-mad Archduke Otto as heir once I am dead.

He despised them all—the nobles, the bourgeoisie, and the liberals alike.

My nephew is no different in my eyes. Or rather, he wasn't. He was an enemy threatening the stability of the imperial house. But... this time, his move was not bad.

Suddenly, Franz Joseph I felt extremely bothered. The Kaiser was a severe obsessive-compulsive. He was an OCD patient who could easily rival the mad Joseon king who locked his own crown prince in a wooden rice chest. He had to wake up at the exact same time, work at the exact same time, eat at the exact same time, and sleep at the exact same time. If even a single minute or second was out of place, the Kaiser's mood would be ruined for the entire day. Was that all? The angle of the stamp on approval documents, the order of the books on the shelves, and even the precise position of a single speck of dust on his desk—everything had to be perfectly aligned for Franz Joseph I.

This mental illness had worsened to an irreversible degree ever since his son and former Crown Prince, Archduke Rudolf, committed suicide out of sheer despair over his father's obsessive-compulsive demands, and the Empress, who had loved and supported him, was lost to an assassin's blade.

"Wait a moment, Prime Minister. Was this speck of dust originally here?"

"...Pardon?"

"Something is off. Your medal is crooked. Your attire is highly inappropriate for an audience with the Kaiser."

"I-I apologize, Your Majesty."

"Summon the secretary immediately. ...The number of logs in the fireplace is different from yesterday. Do you hear that? The ticking of the clock sounds sharper than it did yesterday."

The minister was terrified. When the Kaiser began to sense a dissonance in everything around him, it meant things were about to go very wrong. Of course, most obsessive-compulsive neurotics are well aware that they are in an irrational state.

What is it? What on earth is wrong?

Only then did the Kaiser succeed in realizing what was bothering him in the midst of this otherwise perfect picture.

Franz chose the best strategy. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠However... my name is nowhere to be found in Archduke Franz's grand coalition. That was the problem.

It was the best course of action, but he had not been the one to think of it. The Archduke's brilliant move had not originated from him. Whether the outcome was good or bad, it had escaped his "control" and "order."

Having identified the source of his discomfort, the Emperor's expression softened into one of ease as he instructed the minister.

"Very well. We shall allow the Archduke's policy direction to continue."

"...Understood, Your Majesty."

"However, the Archduke's unilateral actions have crossed the line. He must be taught a lesson."

"Shall we order house arrest and exclusion from imperial events, as we ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠did last time?"

"The Archduke has long passed the stage where he would be shaken by such trivialities. There is another way."