The Poisoned Chalice of Warsaw
As a Liberal, Foreign Undersecretary Herbert was closer to being a "guardian of the European balance of power" than the hardline anti-German faction of the Conservatives. Although his time as wartime Prime Minister had hardened him into a much tougher figure, now, as Foreign Undersecretary, he found himself once again tasked with playing the role of the balance's keeper.
"Lord Churchill. If we push them this hard, what if the Germans walk out of the conference? What if they break off the talks and sign a separate treaty with France?"
"Then that will be the very moment we forge a true alliance with France. We have plenty of cards to play against Germany."
"And what if France becomes stronger than Germany because of it?"
"Well... if left to their own devices, Germany is bound to maintain the upper hand over France."
The ones who had gained the most from this war were, without a doubt, the United States and the Austro-Hungarian Empire. The other belligerents had done nothing but lose. Because of this, Great Britain still held a relative advantage over the continental European nations. After all, had they not at least maintained the status quo? Thus, if Germany chose to be obstinate, Britain had plenty of cards up its sleeve.
They could win over France and Poland to encircle Germany. They could leverage their still-dominant financial markets to choke off German capital. They could restrict German exports through their vast global network of colonies. And they could use their mighty navy to enforce a maritime blockade.
"However... the Austro-Hungarian Empire might start raising objections soon."
"Lord Herbert, that is of no concern. They might be playing at being a great power now, but we have ruled the world for over two centuries. The Spanish Armada, Napoleon—nothing has ever been able to stop us."
"True enough."
"Besides, Austria is a continental power, is it not? In the end, they will have no choice but to hold hands with Britain."
Churchill and Herbert shared a sinister chuckle, looking for all the world like a pair of cartoon villains. What could Austria, suddenly bloated in size, possibly do? Did they have colonies? Did they have a navy? It was perfect. And yet...
Erich Ludendorff returned to the table with an entirely different proposal.
"Very well, we shall accept the British proposal. As for reparations... we simply won't take them."
"What?! Are you serious?"
The sum of one hundred billion francs demanded by Ludendorff had always been somewhat unrealistic. Even taking into account the massive inflation caused by counterfeit bills, it was an amount equivalent to ten thousand tons of gold. Of course, in the original history, the Treaty of Versailles had imposed an even higher sum. However, in reality, they were unlikely to ever see even ten percent of it—ten billion francs.
"And rearmament? Let them arm themselves to their heart's content. The cession of Alsace-Lorraine will be decided entirely by a popular referendum. Any city where more than fifty percent of the population votes to remain with France will stay French."
Ludendorff was suddenly acting as if he were giving France everything on a silver platter! Undersecretary Herbert's mind raced.
Could they be planning to use Stahlism organizations to completely overthrow France? And then install a pro-German puppet regime? If so, excessive reparations would only breed unnecessary resentment. But... a pro-German regime? Is such a thing even possible in France?
Herbert was well aware that numerous agents of Shtal were currently active in France. Even assuming they did manage to overthrow the government... a "pro-German" regime in France of all places? Was that even remotely feasible?
Ludendorff continued to rattle off his terms.
"We also withdraw our demand for Indochina and the African colonies. In any case, our German Empire does not have the administrative capacity to manage them."
"...What is your true angle here?"
"What angle? Isn't this exactly what Great Britain wanted?"
"If your country gives up everything it wanted, we cannot help but find it suspicious. If so, how is France to take responsibility for the war?"
Ludendorff smirked.
"The North African colonies of Algeria and Tunisia. The other African colonies, including Senegal and Madagascar. And French Indochina. We demand the complete liberation of all these colonies!"
"......"
"How about that?"
"Th-that is..."
For a moment, the British delegation's brains short-circuited. France's global empire had always been a thorn in their side! The sole reason for their rivalry with France had been colonies. If France was pulling out of those colonies, then...?
D-does that mean it all becomes ours?
Churchill's eyes began to gleam with pure avarice. Since neither the Austro-Hungarian Empire nor the German Empire possessed a navy capable of projecting power, they couldn't possibly participate in a scramble for colonies. There was only one nation that could swallow them up: Great Britain.
The rubber and oil produced across the globe... we could truly monopolize it all!
But... Herbert barely managed to claw back his rationality and whispered to Churchill.
"We cannot. The purpose of this negotiation is the 'balance of power on the continent.'"
Undersecretary Herbert narrowly pushed away Germany's poisoned chalice.
"Th-that is out of the question."
"France is a defeated nation anyway. And I am doing your country a favor! What exactly did your nation even achieve on the Western Front?"
"Those are France's rightful territories. We would rather... we would rather you take the reparations than agree to such terms."
Yes, in the short term, it was an exceptionally lucrative offer for Britain. But at the same time, it was a trap, a landmine. Britain's own protectorates were already, generally speaking, running at a deficit. If Britain were to swallow all of France's colonies on top of that? It was practically impossible. It would drive them to bankruptcy. Furthermore, what would happen if global colonies were liberated all at once? Massive rebellions and riots would be inevitable.
"Bring a proper proposal to the table!"
"For fuck's sake! Just because your country tells us to do something, do we have to jump through your hoops?"
Herbert, Churchill, and Ludendorff stared in shock. The source of the profanity was Shtal. Shtal rubbed his face repeatedly in sheer exasperation.
Know when to draw the line, you bastards!
Frankly speaking, what had Britain actually done? Both Shtal and Ludendorff had repeatedly requested Britain's entry into the Western Front. Britain had ignored every single one of those pleas. Sure, they had supported the Russian White Army, but... Britain's actual military contribution during the war consisted of repeatedly drowning their own troops in the Baltic Sea like idiots, only to luck out at the very end by seizing St. Petersburg.
The Kaisermarine, which had been the root cause of the fundamental conflict between Germany and Britain, was already entirely at the bottom of the sea. The German economy was on the brink of collapse, to the point where rebuilding Germany would be nigh impossible without someone like Adolf Hitler. Consequently, Germany's colonial ambitions were as good as dead. There was absolutely no remaining friction point between Britain and Germany, so why on earth were they acting like this?
Shtal stood up abruptly, scraping his chair back.
"I'm out! Go ahead and gorge yourselves on whatever you want!"
"V-Vice Chairman Shtal...?"
"So this is how you want to play it? Consider this conference canceled. It seems far more appropriate for us, our German allies, and the Russian White Army to divide the spoils of war among ourselves, entirely without Great Britain."
"Come back this instant! Are you trying to start a war or what?"
Let's be honest. The hegemony of the Austro-Hungarian Empire and all that... while important, was secondary. For a long time, Shtal had tried to ignore "that issue" weighing on his chest. What did it matter when he was going to return to the 21st century anyway? But now that he had kicked away his chance to return to the 21st century, and now that history itself had been locked in, there was one issue he could absolutely not overlook. The colonial question!
I always fucking hated colonialism.
Even in the 21st century, the places where Britain and France had run amok remained absolute disasters. Were places like Indochina and China fine? Of course they were—because Britain and France had been forced to stop messing with them. But in places like West Africa, including Senegal... France was still sticking its straw in and sucking them dry. And in places where they had caused catastrophic disasters, like Israel or India, living hells frequently manifested. By any means necessary, he had to make them vomit up every single colony.
"Are we trying to start a war, you ask? Well, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to launch 'another' landing through the Adriatic Sea? Or maybe Greece?"
"Retract that statement!"
"Forget all other conditions. Aside from the 'complete liberation of colonies,' we will not hold France responsible for any war crimes. There will be no reparations, no war crimes tribunals, and certainly no disarmament. Even in Alsace-Lorraine, any region that wishes to remain with France will be allowed to do so."
"Is this not practically the same as demanding reparations?!"
"France's economy is already in ruins. Not to mention their army and navy. Who is going to maintain those French colonies? Your country?"
"...!"
Shtal remained standing. This was not a negotiation. It was an ultimatum.
"Stahlism adamantly opposes all forms of colonialism. Furthermore, we support Self-determination."
"...Vice Chairman Shtal, please, let us sit down. Surely there is room for compromise."
"Oh, we can compromise. If France grants the colonial populations 'equal rights as citizens' and 'the right to vote,' and if colonial representatives are seated in their proud parliament, then they do not have to liberate the colonies. I have no other conditions."
"Wait, Shtal...!"
"For self-determination!"
With those parting words, Shtal stormed out of the conference room. In truth, Shtal had compromised as much as he possibly could. France would likely be able to hold onto North Africa and Algeria, which they cherished like their own lives. They weren't geographically distant, after all. Even if only for appearances, they could transplant 'democracy' to Algeria. The same would go for parts of West Africa. They would probably grant voting rights to parts of the Indochinese Peninsula as well. However, the fact remained that France would still have to vomit up a massive portion of its colonial empire.
And if Britain still throws a fit after this...?
Shtal pondered for a moment before shaking his head.
There are plenty of ways.
Though the British remained blissfully ignorant, Shtal had already laid his traps in Germany and Russia. Even if the British truly lost their minds and attempted a naval blockade, the Empire would suffer no harm. Russia, Germany, and the Austro-Hungarian Empire—if these three nations united, overcoming a mere continental blockade would be child's play. Furthermore, Shtal intended to extend a hand to the Ottoman Empire in the near future. On top of that, Shtal vividly remembered the colossal impact 'self-determination' had wielded during this era. None of the nations gathered here could manipulate ideology as masterfully as Shtal.
Meanwhile, in the conference room Shtal had just abandoned, an awkward silence hung heavily in the air.
"Well, um... Alliance Leader Ludendorff."
"Yes, Undersecretary Herbert."
"We understand Germany's position. Our nation desires a constructive and healthy discussion. ...If you would ease the terms just a little, we are willing to approve the proposal."
Ludendorff shook his head. This was a matter already fully agreed upon with the Austro-Hungarian Empire. They wouldn't be able to collect reparations, nor could they keep France in check, but... they had been promised so much in return. A staggering twenty percent of the Empire's annual budget! Aid equivalent to the annual GDP of a decent-sized nation was set to pour into Germany. And that wasn't all; massive loans far exceeding that amount had also been guaranteed.
Even if we exploit France, there's no way we can recover even half of our war expenses from a ruined nation. It's far better to stick our straw into Shtal instead.
The Russian White Army, having secretly caught wind of this news, felt exactly the same. They were desperate to secure aid by any means from the Austro-Hungarian Empire, which had amassed astronomical wealth from the war. This was the massive economic reconstruction plan known as the Stahl Plan! As long as Ludendorff didn't pull any strange stunts, their economy would be revitalized within ten years.
"We are also an Armed Cooperative Alliance that champions the great cause of Stahlism. We actively support self-determination."
"This is preposterous...! Were you not clamoring for Indochina just yesterday?!"
"That was merely a bluff for the sake of negotiations."
Following the representatives of the second-tier victorious nations, China and Japan, the President of the United States was also in attendance. Woodrow Wilson, who had successfully secured reelection on the back of an unprecedented economic boom!
Now... the wartime boom is over. We need new markets.
A single phrase echoed in Woodrow Wilson's mind.
Self-determination!
It seemed he had finally found the key to the new markets he had been searching for so desperately.