Chapter 251
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 251
The Bishop opened her eyes in the same place as always.
“……”
“You have come.”
It was a dream where the crimson Evil God floated above the lake where the Moon God should have been.
“I gladly welcome your visit.”
“I do not understand why you keep summoning one as humble as me.”
“Because you looked upon me.”
“My sin is great indeed…”
She had laid eyes on something she never should have.
“I should not have let my gaze be stolen.”
She had been captivated by his splendor, if only for a moment. Perhaps to eyes accustomed to pure white, those blood-red wings were too striking. Or perhaps the blood flowing elegantly, like gold, from his fractured head had been beautiful.
If only I had been a more perfect being, would this never have happened?
Since her first encounter with the Evil God, the Bishop had met him many times. It happened when she slept, and she always ran into him whenever she went to see the Moon. As the Bishop, she could not neglect the rituals of her order. It was a truly troubling matter.
The Bishop asked the same question she had been asking all this time. It was as meaningless as tossing a pebble into a vast lake.
“What do you want from me?”
“I want to see you rage.”
“…That will not be easy.”
Even when the Saintess she had raised with the utmost care met her end at the hands of Mystery, the Bishop had only despaired. She had lived half her life as the Bishop of the Moon Cult. She might break or collapse, but she had never learned how to raise her voice in anger.
“It seems you are in need of amusement.”
How typical of an Evil God.
“Do you wish for my ruin? Do you desire the fall of the Moon Cult’s Bishop? If I forget my place and make a disgraceful spectacle of myself, would that please you? Is that it?”
“That would not satisfy me.”
“Is my soul already in your hands?”
“What is in my hand is your Moon.”
“……”
The pure white object held in his second hand caught her eye.
“…What does my Master call me?”
“He says nothing.”
“I already knew I was such an insignificant existence.”
“You are not disappointed.”
“He does not understand humans well…”
“Is that so?”
Pale toes touched the surface of the lake.
“Why are you so frightened? Am I truly that terrifying?”
“I am afraid you will make me ruin everything.”
“Ruin, yes. Ruin. I believe we can start our conversation there.”
“You are goading me to converse with an Evil God.”
“You are already conversing with me. You look at me, you hear me, and you question me. Now, look at me. Raise your head. Do not disappoint me.”
“As a priest… I was disqualified long ago.”
“Then what is sin? Let us speak of it. Do you not wish to talk to me? I have waited for you so, yet you are terribly cold…”
His voice gradually became more natural. A touch of sorrow seeped into the overbearing tone that had previously held only authority and amusement. The silent ornaments on his body clinked, letting out a soft noise.
“And here we could have been friends.”
The Mystery with the fractured head, golden blood, and three pairs of arms mimicked a human. He made gestures and expressed emotions with only half a face. A hollow sigh escaped her.
Yet, he was still an Evil God.
“…How long must I be your plaything? How ridiculous I must have seemed, ruining everything because I couldn’t cast aside a single shred of affection. No, how could this pathetic… this humble creature, who lacked even the ability to ruin things in the first place, possibly bring you any amusement?”
Her voice flowed softly.
“I am a humble human who lacks even that capability. I have accomplished nothing, absolutely nothing… Did you think someone who merely guarded her seat would make a decent toy?”
“I thought you were raging, but it seems not.”
A hand adorned with gold bracelets lifted the Bishop’s chin.
“Have you given up? Have you resigned yourself? Are you hesitating?”
“I have already done all of those.”
“Beast, show your anger. Let it burst. Rage.”
A benevolent voice spoke, as if coaxing a newborn animal.
“Only wrath unites beast and human.”
The Bishop interpreted his meaning.
“…Are you saying that those who cannot rage are worth less than beasts? Humans are creatures of intellect, O God. How can you equate a beast that cannot control its anger with a human?”
“Did being born human seem like some grand privilege to you? It is not. In my eyes, everyone is the same. A human—yes, a human is only qualified to be called human when they harbor conviction and malice.”
“Are you saying my conviction is not worthy of making me human…?”
“Who called that conviction? Who dares?”
The wicked soul whispered.
“No one should call that conviction.” “You were pushed into that seat.” “Did that seem like your choice?” “To your eyes, it must have seemed like there were no other options.” “You little beast who can only look at the ground.” “You little beast who thinks only the sky is the sky…”
He whispered again.
“How pitiful.”
Though her chin was released, the Bishop was still staring at the god.
“…Ha, haha…”
A laugh escaped her.
“…I know your wisdom…”
“Did you dream?” “A sweet dream?” “You must have liked it.”
“Yes, it was so very sweet. I had a sweet dream. If only I… if only I could figure out how to become a star beside the Moon… I feel like I would know if I could just dream a few more times…”
“But sleep does not come easily.”
“I felt hollow.”
She still did not know what had made her feel so hollow.
“Ever since the Saintess ascended to her position, I have kept researching. That child is truly strong and beautiful, but… abandoned by her family, she is very lonely… She hates being cold, hungry, and alone. I brought her from a winter slum alleyway…”
Keeping the child by her side, she had constantly pondered and researched. Even if it meant creating another tradition that others called an evil custom, she had wanted to do it. She thought it might actually be a good thing—a noble act of shaping another Mystery.
“Why do I feel so empty? It feels like there’s a gaping hole inside me, yet at the same time, it feels completely blocked. It feels like I am doing everything wrong, but I don’t know what I did wrong, I don’t know if my thoughts are right, and I don’t know what I should fix.”
“Why is that?”
“…I don’t know. I do not have the answer. Is it because the problem I agonized over for so long was resolved in an instant? Is it because I received help from an Evil God instead of my Master? Or have I simply become afraid that it won’t be as much of a help as I thought?”
It felt as though she were sinking into a swamp.
“I even felt wronged.”
“And why is that?”
“……”
“Because you love.”
Pitiful thing.
“Because you only know how to love.”
You do not know the way.
“How do you not know you are wrong? Why did you commit so many sins, unable to see that you were wrong, not just different? You have a truly sweet and savory scent. Don’t you think you would bring me joy if I chewed you up and swallowed you whole? Why is pure, foolish sin so tragic yet lovely…?”
“…Since I have already done all sorts of foolish things, I will ask a foolish question. Do you eat humans?”
“If I wish it, I do.”
The Evil God whispered.
“Did what you saw look like justice? Did a tragic sacrifice look like a noble one? You have two perfectly fine eyes, so why did you see it that way? You thought the floor was just the floor, and the ceiling was just the ceiling. You didn’t even think of climbing over the wall.”
“I did my best… as the Bishop, as a priest of the Moon Cult, doing what I… ought to do…”
“When an empty puppet is filled to the brim with love, it cannot do a single thing right.” “If you had not loved, you could have at least held onto conviction.” “If you had known how to love, you could have become human.” “But you did not.” “In the end, you couldn’t even harbor malice.”
“If there is no way for me to escape you, then at least tell me what I must do. Should I play along with your amusement? Shall I become a puppet and put on a play? If I become a beast and grovel before you, will that please you?”
“Become human.”
“……”
She did not know if that was possible at this point.
“…I have grown old and ugly. I could never become the kind of human you desire.”
“Since you do not know how to love, how to rage, or how to think, you are no different from a newborn beast. Yet, you can become human. Come, let it burst.”
“What?”
“Burst.”
The Evil God laughed.
“The thing you love is in my arms.”
“…Are you going to take that child?”
“Fate has been decided.”
“Please do not do this. That child… that child loves Earth. She treasures her family. How can you take her away without letting her achieve a single thing she has wanted her entire life?”
“Whether you become human or remain a beast, it will have no effect on her fate.”
“Give her back…!”
Even to her, the outburst was sudden.
Had something been injected into her, or had she been brainwashed? As if she had gone mad, her hands trembled violently and her breath grew shallow.
“She is the Moon’s child! She may be insignificant, but she is the child I have watched over! You don’t even know how she smiles, so why do you dare try to take her precious soul?! She is a child who has sacrificed her entire life…!!”
“Indeed.”
“……”
“Well done.”
“…Ah.”
“That is precisely the emotion of 'wrath.'”
Belatedly, her mind went blank as she realized what had happened.
“…Did you engrave wrath into me and tell me lies?”
“Am I not an Evil God?”
“…I truly, truly do not know… what you want from me…”
“You look so ridiculous and amusing, do you not?”
A being of divinity would not do this simply to tease her for amusement. There was no need to go to such lengths. Why reveal such an ominous and mysterious form just for this?
“Your Moon said he was terribly bored.”
“…My Master would never say such a thing.”
“Look, isn’t he saying it right now?”
Placing the Moon held in his second hand over his face, the Evil God mimicked the Moon God as if playing with a doll.
“I am so very bored, my disciple. Let us enjoy ourselves together.”
A childlike capriciousness. A divinity capable of lying. As he mimicked the Moon God in an innocent voice, a wave of terror washed over her. Their Master was nothing more than a toy to that crimson Evil God.
As he slightly lowered the Moon, she could see the lips on his half-face curving upward.
“Why do you hesitate? Why do you blame yourself so? Listen to me, friend. The order you sacrificed yourself to build was rotten from the very beginning. Giving a bedroom to an immature Evil God now changes absolutely nothing.”
“…Are you saying our order would have eventually rotted away completely?”
“The world is developing rapidly. It is getting better. Humans are fixing their precarious dimension bit by bit, without even knowing what they truly want. When everything becomes abundant, will the Moon Cult really… be able to avoid demanding sacrifices?”
He recited a terrifying future.
“You will stand on the guillotine not by choice, but by coercion.”
And you will be offered up.
“It will turn from a noble sacrifice into the slaughter of a living offering.” “Why? Because that is all you know how to do!” “Do you really think your descendants will be able to ignore the precious traditions built upon noble sacrifices?” “Who will stop you then?” “When you lock your doors and hide in the shadows like loners.”
“……”
“Listen, my young friend.”
He spoke with benevolence.
“Just how long did you believe you could call it noble?”
The Bishop could not answer.
“……”
It would be a lie to say she had never thought of such things, but even so.
Even so.
“…Then, why on earth…”
Her breath caught in her throat.
“Why on earth did my family have to leave like that? My family, who died without even leaving their names to the world… Those precious people who protected me and gave me strength, why did they have to go to the side of the cold and lonely Moon?!”
Because she had learned, this time she raged of her own accord.
“Ah, I made it happen. I did that. I could have stopped them, I could have protected them! I could have held onto them and begged them not to do it! If I had, they might not have become the Moon! But I didn’t, because I was foolish. Because I have only ever done wrong. Because I am a piece of trash with no qualifications, no ability, imperfect… covered in flaws, full of nothing but self-righteousness and incompetence…!!”
She was raging at herself.
“Was it a meaningless death? Surely not, right? Because it must be true that they became a part of my Master. But I am afraid. They will remain as the greatest villains in history, forcing sacrifices upon their descendants. My incompetence has truly ruined so much. If only I had been smarter. If only I had been more perfect!!”
It was unbearably painful.
“Why on earth… Ah, I should have died instead of them… I… this worthless thing should have died. They should have lived, and I should have become the Moon. How wonderful would it have been if I could have finished my research even a little sooner? If I had… I, at the very least… at the very least…”
“My little friend.”
The Evil God asked, his voice laced with amusement.
“What is it you want to do?”
“…I want to turn it back…”
“What?”
“Everything I missed, everything I made mistakes on, everything I ruined.”
“Shall I help you?”
“Please take this humble hand. I will offer you my everything.”
“Even your family?”
“If I was not just different but wrong, then the Saintess is the only one in the Moon Cult who is not in the wrong. We committed sins and called them noble. So much has gone wrong. It is a barrel filled with rotten wine, so please, smash it to pieces.”
“I like that.”
He promised the end.
“With you, the evil customs of the Moon shall end.”
Is that what you want?
* * *
“……”
Aram grimaced, hugging her pillow tightly.
“……?”
Where was she?
She was at an amusement park.