First-Team Coach David Maxwell Proposes a Practice Match
On a certain podcast, the host and interviewer were deep in discussion about Han Shin’s appointment.
David Maxwell, first-team coach of the senior squad, sat in the chair of his private office, listening intently.
“Why has no Asian manager ever succeeded in Europe? Coach, what do you see as the reason?”
“In my years as a coach I’ve met plenty of outstanding Asian players. Especially the excellent ones from Korea and Japan—they’ve come to Europe and made it. Do you know what their defining trait is?”
“They’re extremely humble.”
“Exactly. Asian people are very humble and well-mannered. Even their greetings start with a bow like this. The players focus solely on football and never cause any trouble at the club. They sacrifice for the team and never shy away from the dirty work.”
“Isn’t that a fantastic attitude for any team? No drama, just pure dedication to the game.”
“True. But the manager’s job demands a completely different set of qualities.”
First-team coach Maxwell nodded along in agreement.
“That’s right—it’s different. A manager’s seat isn’t that kind of place.”
“Specifically, how is it different? What’s the real distinction?”
“A manager doesn’t sit at a desk playing chess. Football is war. To land a job, a manager has to sell himself. That means a clear football philosophy paired with a strong personality. On top of that, you need the charisma and leadership to command a dressing room.”
“Come to think of it, even when Asians speak English well, they tend to talk less and come across as a bit shy.”
“Right! Let’s list the absolute top managers who dominate Europe. Guardiola, Ferguson, Wenger, Klopp, Ancelotti, Mourinho, Arteta—every single one of them has massive star power.”
“You’re naming all-time greats, so it feels a little over the top, but you’re not wrong.”
“A manager has to deliver scathing criticism when a player messes up, and at the same time pour unshakable confidence into the whole squad. With dazzling rhetoric he has to make the fans roar and crush the opposition. Sometimes he has to confront the referee head-on, and every day he has to cook the journalists who are trying to tear him apart.”
“I see. So the very humility and good manners that are virtues as a player can become liabilities as a manager.”
“Excessive humility is practically a sin in that chair.”
“Then what about Manager Han? He has a truly unique résumé. And according to the latest news, Sunderland’s official social media and website have just released his photo and statement. Shall we look at it together, Coach?”
“Ugh… It’s been noisy since morning. As if this guy’s any different. Let’s see… a photo’s up on the homepage?”
He pulled up Han Shin’s picture on the club website with his phone.
“What the hell is this? Are they joking? What’s the headline? ‘Hannibal the General from Korea arrives to conquer Europe’? Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.”
Normally, when a club manager leaves, the coaching staff who signed with him leave at the same time.
But Maxwell had kept his seat as first-team coach.
The reason was simple.
Once that idiot who can’t tell a game from reality is gone, until they find a new manager, I’m the number-one candidate for interim boss of Sunderland~~~ This is my chance!
He propped both shoed feet up on the desk and whistled.
And that’s how Maxwell-nim’s managerial career begins.
A perfect plan.
Handing the first-team head-coach job to some kid with zero pro playing experience, no coaching badges, and not even a stint as an amateur or youth coach or manager.
It was enough to make your head spin.
The probability of him getting sacked was 100 percent.
If Han Shin got the boot, Maxwell, as first-team coach, would naturally step into the interim manager’s role—that was the calculation that kept him at Sunderland.
No, wait. Is this bastard going to cook up tactics all by himself? No way. He won’t even be able to run a training session. So he’ll have no choice but to lean on me, right? Heh-heh-heh. I’m going to mess with him so hard.
The podcast voice resumed.
“What do you think, Coach? Do you believe this time will be different?”
“To be honest, I was a big fan of the Manager War. Personally, I found his presence very impressive.”
“Same here. He has that unique sense of humor, doesn’t he? And he pulls off those eccentric stunts all the time.”
“Exactly. He’s an entertaining guy. Looking at the photo while remembering his victory interview, it’s clear he’s a completely new type of manager—one we’ve never seen before.”
“In so many ways. After all, a case like this is unprecedented in history.”
“He looks like he has the makings of a born star manager. Don’t you already see that powerful character and confidence?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. I was wondering what they were going on about—‘born talent,’ my ass.”
Maxwell hurled the water bottle that had been sitting on his desk.
“To my eyes he looks less like a football manager and more like a glamorous celebrity. Maybe we’re witnessing the birth of another star manager.”
“There’s no denying he’s a star who appeared like a comet in the football world. I hope we get to see him in the EPL, just as he wishes.”
“By the way, Sunderland fans must be thrilled with the manager’s photo. For a newly appointed manager, isn’t this an all-time classic shot? Riding a horse, sword in hand—people will be talking about it for years.”
“Absolutely. I wonder who came up with that idea. I’m really curious.”
“That bitch Emily, no doubt. A woman who doesn’t know the first thing about football, flapping her mouth.”
The host was already delivering the closing remarks.
“The era of Han Shin at Sunderland has just begun. Sunderland carries the stigma of being a managers’ graveyard—a poisoned chalice that chews through bosses. What challenges does Manager Han have to solve going forward?”
“Above all else, results. He absolutely has to prove his ability. The first few matches after the league kicks off will be decisive. How many points he racks up will decide how he’s judged.”
“Exactly! Will this man who evokes Hannibal the General succeed in conquering Europe, or will he fail just as Hannibal failed to bring down Rome? We’ll be watching. This has been the podcast…”
Knock—knock—
Someone rapped on the door of Maxwell’s private office.
He hurriedly dropped his legs and killed the podcast blaring from his laptop.
“It’s open!”
“Good afternoon. I’m Manager Han, newly appointed. I’ve come to introduce myself to the first-team coach.”
“Pleasure to meet you. David Maxwell, first-team coach.”
Along with Han Shin, a swarm of cameras, boom mics, and broadcast staff poured into the cramped room one after another.
Maxwell hastily licked his palm, smoothed his hair, and cleared his throat with a “Ahem, ahem.”
“What were you up to? I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“Not at all, Boss. I was putting together the pre-season training plan.”
“Training plan already? That’s reassuring. I’ll be relying on you a great deal from now on, Coach.”
“Of course. If there’s anything you don’t know, just ask me. I’ll help with everything.”
“Yes, yes—I’ll put my full trust in the first-team coach. By the way, I heard from the director in the corridor that you didn’t leave with the previous manager and chose to stay at the club.”
“Yes. I decided not to leave this place.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, may I know the reason?”
“Simply because I’ve come to love Sunderland. No other reason.”
“I see. I’m glad to be working with such a passionate first-team coach.”
“Besides, I’m a fan of yours as well~”
Maxwell laid it on thick.
“Oh, you’re a fan of mine? That makes me happy.”
“Yes—I watched every single episode without missing one.”
“Then let’s verify right now whether you’re a real fan.”
I’m fucked. I’ve never watched a single episode…
“What formation did I use the most throughout the tournament?”
“Huh???”
“4-4-….”
“Hmm…”
Looking at his face, that’s not it. Then—!
“4-2-3-1?”
“You really did watch, didn’t you?”
“I told you~ I’m a fan. A real fan.”
Phew~ Of course. My quick thinking never fails me.
“Should I give you an autograph or something?”
“Ah, right! Boss, more importantly—”
“Yes?”
“How about we run a simple practice match between the first team and the second team tomorrow?”
“A practice match?”
“Usually we use a light practice game as an evaluation match to get a feel for the squad.”
“Sounds good.”
“Then I’ll take the second team and—”
Han Shin cut him off cold.
“No. I’ll take the second team. You’ve been at the club far longer than I have, so you must have evaluation data you’ve built up over time, right?”
“That’s true.”
“Then, Coach, you put together our club’s elite Best XI. I’ll take the remaining second-team players and play the match.”
“Are you sure that’s all right? There’s a clear gap in ability between the players—I’ll have a huge advantage.”
“Is that so? Then I have a condition.”
There it is. He’s laying the groundwork because he’s scared of losing. Pathetic.
But Han Shin laid down a condition Maxwell never saw coming.
“By tomorrow, I want a full report on the data and evaluation criteria you used to rate and classify each player as first-team material…”
What the hell is this bastard talking about?
“…plus the records and reasoning for every player you classified as second-team. Submit the complete report to me one hour before the practice match.”
“What? That’s the condition?”
“Why? Is writing a report too much for you?”
“No, not at all. I’ll accept it. What time works?”
“Ten in the morning—the players should all be warmed up by then, right?”
“Perfect. Ten o’clock. I’ll have the report on your desk by nine.”
“I’m really looking forward to the practice match~! I’m curious what tactics you’ll show me.”
That’s my line, you crazy bastard…
A staff member urged Han Shin about the schedule.
“Boss, time’s tight—we need to move to the next location.”
“Coach, I’d love to talk longer, but I have a mountain of people to greet. Please understand.”
“You’re busy—go right ahead.”
“Shall we save the rest of the conversation for later? There’s so much I want to discuss.”
“You’re welcome anytime.”
“Then I’ll see you later with the players!”
The crowd that had flooded in with Han Shin ebbed out like the tide. Maxwell felt as if a full-blown storm had just swept through the room.
“I’m going to smash that country bumpkin from Korea’s arrogance into the dirt!”
The Maxwell who had been leisurely listening to a podcast now fired up his laptop and frantically began drafting evaluation criteria.
Ha! Who does he think he is? First of all, Bellingham, Ballard, and Anthony are locked-in first-team. Who else? Formation? 4-4-2?
He had the experience. Maxwell was determined to give this clueless rookie manager a bitter taste of the real world and put him firmly in his place.