Reality's a Shithole, the Game World's a Shithole Too
"Huaaah…… so warm…… I feel alive……."
Through the gap in the worn wooden door, my languid moan slipped out amid the billowing white steam. The massive wooden tub was filled to the brim with surprisingly hot water. Honestly, in a medieval fantasy tavern like this, I'd figured cold groundwater at best was all we'd get—no ice bath, at least. But no, every time the bizarre rune-etched magic stone on the wall pulsed red, steaming hot water gushed out through the connected copper pipes.
"What is this, magitech? Or just eroge correction?"
Whatever it was, I didn't care. I stripped off the cumbersome uniform and gingerly dipped my toes into the scalding water.
"Haaaah……."
The sensation of my whole body melting into relaxation made my head tilt back involuntarily. The tension from being ravaged by those mercenaries all day, the exhaustion of enduring lecherous stares all night—it all washed away on the ripples.
"……This is the real deal."
I cupped water in my palms and splashed my face. Then, cautiously, I brought my hands to my chest. The sticky, fishy remnants from earlier were softening and dissolving in the warm water.
"So filthy…… I thought I was gonna die from the grime."
Rubbing my skin with my fingertips sent white flecks bobbing to the surface. The real-world Sodohui might've puked and burst into tears, but right now, this liberation felt nothing but sweet. The vivid slide of water droplets over my skin was so real it almost felt unreal.
"Hmmm~ Hmmm~"
Feeling good, I started humming without realizing it. Back in my original world, when life hit rock bottom, my only escape was soaking in hot water like this. Sure, this was an eroge world, and tomorrow I'd be back to 'poster girl' duty enduring countless male hands…….
"But right now, this moment is perfect."
I stretched my legs in the tub and playfully splashed around. The water sloshed, echoing in the quiet washroom. Cold night air drifted outside the window, but this warmth—magic or system courtesy, who knew?—was all mine.
"Hoo…… I really suffered today. Or just today? These past few days have all been hell."
I let out a deep sigh into the steaming water. Staring blankly at my pale shoulders and collarbones rippling on the waves, I sank into thought. Where the hell did my life go wrong?
Exposure SNS…… I never should've started that. I was insane, Sodohui.
A self-mocking laugh escaped. That 'back account' I started for the thrill of stares ended up biting me. Without it, my secret pics wouldn't have spread on the uni board, I wouldn't have holed up in my room enduring campus contempt. Normally, I'd be in a freshman hoodie, beers with classmates, enjoying lush 20-year-old campus life. No way I'd imagine slinging mugs in some nameless medieval tavern while fending off beastly hands.
"……Speaking of weird, though."
I hugged my knees, frowning. Just before getting sucked into this world, that creepy comment on my tweet. The unreadable ID, spewing curses like it was full of grudge.
"You get a taste too. Feel the same ruin you inflicted, the despair you mocked."
The moment I read it, shit got weird and I got pulled in. No way…… was that account's owner really this game's 'Dea'? Hating me for using her as a toy, a pleasure tool, did she drag me in?
"No way. That's impossible……."
I shook my head fiercely to dispel the ominous thought. But this water's lifelike heat and the lingering fishy feel on my chest proved it wasn't a dream.
"Hoo…… Anyway, it's happened. Gotta survive here somehow. Reclaim my real life……."
I trailed off, face twisting bitterly. Even if I returned, was paradise waiting? My name and face already sold out in a shithole reality. Dropout, unemployable bottom-feeder life.
"Haa…… seriously. Reality's a shithole, here too."
I dunked my face halfway in. Bubbles gurgled from my lips.
"Why's a perky 20-year-old coed gotta struggle like this? World's so fucking unfair."
My unripe youth withering in an eroge hit hard. I splashed in injustice, kicking the tub wall.
I had to live. Whoever that cursed account owner was, I wouldn't let them laugh at my collapse.
"……Gotta live. For real."
Lost in comparing shithole reality to even shittier game world, self-reflecting forever. Time slipped by unnoticed. Heat soaked my body, mind fogging, when—
Tak-!
The door flew open roughly, shattering silence. I whipped my head around.
"……Huh?"
"Huh……?"
Bargus stood there, 1st floor done. Problem: he came to wash. Bigger problem: he was already buck naked.
"Kyaaaaah—!"
The washroom shook with my scream. Instinctively, I crossed arms over my chest, sinking deeper into the water. Through ripples, Bargus's bronze muscled body burned into my retinas. Scarred chest from rough life, and that…… intimidating thing below.
"Hey, Dea! Why're you here……!"
Bargus's eyes bulged. He froze, face full of panic. None of his tavern cool.
"Get out! Get out now, you perv old man!"
"No, it's my house, I came to wash—why perv……! Ah, no! Sorry!"
Bargus spun around quick. Embarrassment dripped from his back too.
"Habit from living alone…… damn, didn't know someone was in. Sorry!"
He snatched the doorknob and bolted. Bang! Door slammed, silence returned. In the steamy washroom, I huffed, face exploding red.
"……He's insane. Totally lost it."
Heart pounding out my mouth. That intense visual wouldn't leave my head. Didn't expect it from a tavern keeper, but way more…… ripped than thought.
"No, why burst in like that? Owner gets a pass?"
I jabbed at air, but spilled milk. Thrashing from screaming, did he glimpse everywhere? Worry hit late.
"……So awkward, ugh."
I cooled burning cheeks with cold hands. Relief and shame mixed weirdly. No rush to finish now; going out felt like a mega quest.
Not waiting outside, right?
I strained ears. Cough and receding footsteps from hall. Finally, I exhaled held breath, hurried drying off.
Tonight, nothing went quiet. Anyway, I climbed out quick.
"……Ugh."
Vision swam. Too long in hot water? Stepping out, needle pain stabbed my head, vicious dizziness hit.
"Ha, haa…… why now……."
Heart thumped in ears. World spun, ceiling-floor blurred. Legs like wet cotton betrayed me.
"No, can't collapse now……!"
Reached for wall desperately, but slick fingers slipped. Steam turned suffocating chains. Thud! Body hit cold floor limp. No scream, consciousness faded.
Of all times…… like this…….
Last, Bargus's low footsteps neared from hall. Naked wet collapse flashed by. Why always pathetic timings star me, real or eroge?
"Hey, Dea? Done washing? What was that noise……."
Fading hearing caught urgent door knock. But darkness swallowed vision with heat.
Silence. Then, rougher door open.
*****
Consciousness hazy. Eyelids heavy as lead; forcing up revealed familiar ceiling wood.
"……Huh?"
My room, 2nd floor. Collapsed in washroom last—how'd I get here? Sat up startled, felt chest fabric.
"What…… is this?"
Not rough apron uniform. Thin fluttering white dress. Too sheer for pajamas; eroge system prank? Chest and waist hugged curves tight. But cotton soft on skin.
"No way…… Bargus dressed me?"
Thought burned face. Naked collapse carried here, changed by that old man? Dizzying; clutched head as door creaked open.
"……!"
Pulled blanket up instinctively. Bargus entered.
"Oh, coming to?"
Stoic face, but voice relieved. Lukewarm water cup one hand, dry towel other.
"B-Bargus? What happened……."
"What? Heard thud in washroom, checked—you kissing floor, pale as ghost. Anemia or whatever."
Set cup on bedside table.
"……This outfit? You didn't……?"
His brow twitched. Big cough, eyes to window.
"……Don't misunderstand. Couldn't leave you on cold floor forever."
Stern tone, but shifty eyes suspicious. Scratched head.
"That dress…… my late wife's. Kept tucked away. Worn but good fabric."
"Your…… wife?"
"Yeah. Gone years. Anyway, don't need details. Dressed you, so say thanks proper."
Thanks? Now? I scanned under blanket. Bare skin under thin dress, no undies.
Wait, so…… saw everything start to finish?
Heart to skull. Unconscious me wiped by those rough big hands, dressed stitch by stitch—flashed mind. Middle-aged guy, but male. Eroge-boosted.
"……S-saw it all, huh?"
Mosquito voice; his shoulders jerked.
"……Ahem! Save a dying girl, first words that? Told you, merchant not beast. Tried not looking, so chill."
"Tried? Means you still saw!"
Face bursting, yanked blanket over head.
Ugh, unfair. Even real-world SNS pics calculated angles/filters; defenseless, eyes rolled maybe from dizziness—naked ugly exposed!
"Hey, saintess. Quit hiding, drink water."
"No! Out! Now!"
Blanket lump yelled; he chuckled absurdly.
"Heh, repaying favor with hate. Fine, going. Awake's good."
Heavy steps faded, door shut. Peeking, empty room. Cup still warm. Panicked rush to me, fumbling wife's dress on—cheeks wouldn't cool.
"……Worst, Sodohui."
Clutched white hem. Day one here, pride gone, womanly mystery stripped by tavern geezer.
"……B-but really nothing happened?"
Wriggled under blanket, probed body carefully. Eroge world: instincts over morals. Fainting girl carried, changed—no touch? Doubt chained.
"Lemme check…… weird marks?"
Lifted hem, checked thighs, arms, collarbone. Heart tight for bruises/stickiness. But skin fresh-washed smooth. No pain/weirdness.
"Phew…… lucky."
Long exhale, head to pillow. Bargus rarer 'normal' here. Or too pathetic collapse sparked pity over lust? Either way, dodged worst.
"Can't relax yet. Gotta move for real tomorrow."
Stared dark ceiling, bit lip. Serve tavern, gather info, escape this freak world. Most urgent…….
"EP…… that damn EP."
No window, but numbers haunted. Combat peanuts. Eroge staple 'that' for points? Inner Sodohui resisted fierce.
"Haa, driving me nuts. Earn cash, earn points. Why my fate?"
Missed SNS back-account likes=power. Here, life-on-line real deal. Lewd for gains, or grind body to survive? No answer tormented.
"……Fuck it. Sleep. Best medicine."
Forced eyes shut, blanket to chin. Soft dress, cup warmth eased chill. Tomorrow harsher maybe. But now, surrender to strange pajamas, flee to deep sleep.
Thus began my bizarre, dizzying eroge routine.
Knock knock-!
"Hey, Dea! Sun's high! Sleeping forever?"
Rough knock, booming voice. Yesterday's awkwardness gone; extra gruff prodding.
"Ugh…… five more……."
Rubbed white hem on toes, burrowed deeper.
But not dorm or studio. Ruthless survival eroge tavern.
Bang-!
"Up?! Merc band booked breakfast group! Down quick, kitchen help!"
"O-okay! Coming!"
Ruffled hair, up. Mirror: still white dress. Tight curves recalled yesterday, cheeks hot.
"……Can't get used."
Quick to wall uniform. Corset skirt. Real me'd scoff 'cosplay?'; here survival gear.
Downstairs rowdy with men.
"Ooh! Poster girl's here!"
"Hey Dea! Two more beers!"
"Extra perky today? Good time with boss last night?"
Crude jabs flew. Bit lip, forced smile.
"Yessir~ Coming! Wait bit!"
Mugs, greasy snacks, dodged sly ass grazes desperately. Legs swelled, arms numb—but eyes saw accumulating.
1 EP
1 EP
"……Haa, total peanuts."
Half-day grind for this? Yesterday's merc spike mocked. But shook head.
No, Sodohui. Crumble here, done.
Lunch past, kitchen corner breather; Bargus shoved cold water.
"Good work. Tougher than thought."
"……Your fault. Why so much?"
"Gotta earn. Drunk mouths spill most info. Hear anything?"
Gulped, recalled morning chatter. West woods monsters up, lord's men hunting saintess—useless.
Looks like longer routine ahead.