Pre-Launch Event: Disaster in a Can
“You actually bought it. Are you fearless... or just plain insane?”
“Excuse me?”
“No, I mean... they say a Black Goat might pop out of that thing. Aren’t you afraid? You don’t know what a Black Goat is?”
“Well... is it scarier than Kashnakas? She’s watching me right now, and she doesn’t seem to care. And what’s the big deal about a Black Goat? Isn’t black goat just a tasty health food?”
“Uh... hmm. I suppose. Hmm. Haa....”
The Poacher was left speechless. Honestly, people talk about disasters, but I don’t even know what kind of disaster it would be. Besides, I’m more terrified of the Evil Gods who watch me 24/7 without a single second of rest. I have three entities right now fighting over who gets to claim my soul... that’s the real madness. And if it were truly dangerous, they would have told me not to buy it. Since they didn’t, it means it’s either harmless to the big picture or actually beneficial to me.
‘It’s not like I’m planning to bring it to my base anyway...’
Most importantly, I’m going to open the ‘Sheep in a Box’ right here in the Black Market. There’s no reason to take a weird tentacle monster—whether it’s a Black Goat or Shub-Niggurath or whatever—back to my base... or, for that matter, back to Earth. According to the detailed description of the ‘Sheep in a Box,’ a disaster ‘visits’ you, so if I leave the Black Goat here, the disaster will just come to this place. Opening it in a shop crawling with flies would be perfect.
Honestly, the Black Market itself, filled with non-humans who kidnap and torture people, is already a hellscape. Would adding one more disaster really change anything? I have a feeling they’d just get along with each other—or is that just my delusion?
‘The very existence of the Black Market is a disaster for humanity, so would adding one more thing change anything? Even if it did, the non-humans here are the type to just adapt and keep living...’
Even if an unmanageable disaster arrived, the inhuman monsters of the Black Market would handle it themselves. As always, passing the buck on troublesome problems is the best strategy.
Furthermore, even if a truly massive disaster were coming, I wasn’t particularly afraid. The Disaster Gods are already on my side, so I don’t need to be scared just because one more disaster is heading my way. ‘Maybe it’s a super-obsessive Evil God on the level of Kashnakas... actually, that’s great... Evil God Mama is the best...’
I’m in a state of mind where I’d welcome anything. Maybe that disaster is the resurrection of an Evil God. If the disaster that’s supposedly coming is truly the resurrection of an Evil God, that’s nothing short of a blessing for me.
‘I don’t have to go out of my way to find a sponsor; they’re coming to me... it’s a sweet deal.’
Even if it’s not that, as long as it’s a disaster that’s edible, it should be fine. It would be annoying if a non-edible meteorite fell, but if it’s something like a swarm of man-eating insects or a weird man-eating plant, I can just harvest them and sell them in the Black Market for a high price. If a white sheep comes out, I can just take it to my base and raise it.
‘Could I make cheese with sheep’s milk? Even if a Black Goat comes out... it’ll still give milk, right? I hope it gives me milk, not just disasters...’
Speaking of milk, I should really start some actual dairy farming. Is there a ranch somewhere that raises cows or pigs? I guess I’d have to leave Seoul to find a farm like that. I’m getting tired of eating nothing but the tail meat of the Eternal Sacrifice Dragon.
‘I want to raise chickens... and dogs and cats... I want to see some cute, pretty animals for once... I want to raise a raccoon...’
My brain feels like it’s going to snap from looking at nothing but Slaughter Beasts, Eternal Sacrifice Dragons, Seventh Tentacles, and Jet-Black Cockroaches—horrific, inhuman lifeforms. The summons Yewon keeps are also far from cute... If this keeps up, I feel like my aesthetic sense will truly become twisted.
‘Come to think of it...’
I remembered the Summoner I saved and brought along when I cleared the sports center... back when I recruited the Possession Warrior, Lee Hoon. He was definitely just a guy who summoned beasts. His name was...
‘Was it Im Jin-soo...?’
I can’t even remember his name well. Jinsung manages most of those mediocre Awakened. ‘I think there were two or three other Summoners besides him...’ I received a report that there were a few Summoners among the eight hundred Awakened in the U.S. I was too busy, so I just listened to it half-heartedly.
‘I should call all the Summoners together later... and ask if they can summon livestock...’
Since I left the management of the Awakened under my control to Erickson and Ha Jinsung, I haven’t been managing the big picture, so I don’t know exactly what classes they are. I got separate reports on the truly unique ones, but most of them weren’t impressive, so I forgot them first. If I had to make an excuse for my memory issues, it’s that there’s just too much to remember and process. I’m only one person, but I have over a dozen quests assigned to me; I wish I had an extra brain to handle it all.
‘Sigh... for now, let’s check the rest of the items...’
First, I examined the palm-sized plastic pack hanging from the ceiling.
◈ Effect: Contains the heart of a Progenitor. Injects blood into the port to transform it into the same type as the registered sample. Any blood type works, even if slightly spoiled.
◈ Species Change: If all blood in the body is replaced with the registered sample, the user's species may change.
◈ Warning: Only pure-blooded humans can change species. Mixing species results in necrosis.
◈ Danger: Removing the heart and feeding it blood directly will resurrect a maddened Progenitor.
This is a novel item. To be able to change species by swapping blood. ‘It’s good for transfusions... and I can change species at will...’ It seems like a pretty decent item. It might take some time, but I could turn all ordinary people into vampires or beast-kin. If I set my own blood as a sample, I might be able to mass-produce half-humans.
‘Mushroom humans don’t have blood, so that won’t work...’ Can I use the body fluid of a Jet-Black Cockroach as a sample? It’s 20,000 coins, so I’ll buy it. Maybe the Progenitor’s heart and Hwayoung, who is a Carnage Vamp, will interact. Or maybe I could wake the Progenitor and summon an Evil God related to vampires. ‘If I register my blood and swap all my slaves’ blood with mine, then give it to Hwayoung as a gift, she’d be thrilled...’ Hwayoung, who has never been able to drink her fill because she’s worried I’ll be exhausted, would be overjoyed if I gifted her a full supply of blood identical to mine. The slaves might be overworked, but... who cares? As long as Hwayoung is happy, that’s enough.
I shoved the transfusion pack into my large-capacity magic bag. They said it contained a heart, and the pack itself was freezing cold. It seems like some magical treatment was applied. Probably to keep the Progenitor from resurrecting.
‘The rest are...’ One root vegetable and one canned good remained. I checked the unimpressive root vegetable.
◈ Effect: When planted, it detects and absorbs surrounding polluted water. When saturated, it sprays clean, nutrient-rich water that promotes the growth of flora and fauna.
◈ Growth: Grows up to 10 meters. Upon reaching maturity, it scatters seeds and withers.
I absolutely have to take this to the Forest of Corruption. Not only does it purify polluted water, but it sprays water that seems rich in minerals everywhere... It should play a huge role in purifying the corrupted Forest of Corruption. ‘Purifying the Forest of Corruption was the goal of the Forest Keeper quest... if I plant this and manage it well, I’ll achieve the quest...’ I bought the Purification Origin Herb. Then I checked the last item, the canned good.
◈ Effect: Contents unknown until opened. After consuming, closing the lid refills it the next day. A tasty nutritional snack enjoyed by high-ranking non-humans traveling the cosmos.
◈ Subscription: 100-year subscription registered.
◈ Warning: Occasionally harmful to the body.
◈ Danger: Heating until the can bursts releases the 'Gluttonous Malice'.
“This... is food? Wait, does the Poacher sell food too?”
“Look, why do you assume a can wouldn’t contain a living creature?”
“Uh?”
“Non-humans enjoy eating things raw. No one knows what will come out of there.”
He’s right. Since non-humans consider chewing on things raw without killing them a delicacy... As expected, this can doesn’t seem to be the kind of human-friendly can that just contains a nutritional snack. I don’t even have a clue what might pop out. ‘Gulp...’ For some reason, my mouth watered. No, I mean, my mouth watered. This is driving me crazy... why am I like this? My taste buds seem to have changed since I slept with Kashnakas... They say couples start to resemble each other... No, why did I think of us as a couple? My head is messed up. I might already be encroached upon by tentacles. Why must I feel cosmic horror in a place like this...
“And keep the can in a cool place if you can. Unless you want your entire planet to be chewed up.”
“...Crazy... this is scarier than the Black Goat...”
I grabbed my dizzy head and bought the canned food. It was quite expensive, but it was fine. I have the coins I got from clearing the Ghost Gate, so this level of spending is acceptable. Just keep it in a cool place... I sent everything except the canned food and the transfusion pack containing the Progenitor’s heart via courier. I’ll pick up the box containing the sheep at the fly shop, and when I return to the base, I’ll give the Origin Herb to Hee-sun to grow.
“Sold out of everything again this time.”
“Ah, excuse me.”
“Yeah?”
Before leaving the Poacher’s hut, I briefly debated whether to give the Poacher’s Snare, which I could choose as a reward for the ‘Guide Usurper’ achievement, to the Poacher. ‘Zieg and Franken... and Enkidu. Who should I meet...’ I don’t know. But since Hilde, a powerhouse on the level of Zieg, showed a rejection response to Zieg... it would be better to meet Franken or Enkidu.
“Ah, never mind. Then, if we have time next week, we’ll come again.”
“Hmph. Do that. If, by any chance... a child is born between you and Cheshire... be sure to tell me... I’ll give you a special gift for the child... Now get going.”
“Uh... yup. Thank you!”
He dislikes me, but I’m glad he doesn’t seem to hate me entirely. I bowed my head and walked out with my arm linked with Cheshire’s. This time, I’m planning to stop by the drug dealer’s place.
Cheshire and I walked arm-in-arm, beating up the crazy junkies in the drug den as we headed toward the drug dealer’s shop, Drug & Rush. Since over two hours had already passed since we entered the Black Market, we moved a bit quickly.
-Cling.
“We’re he... re....?”
Cheshire stopped at the shop entrance. She then pushed me behind her and glared at a man who was half-lying on the shop sofa, smoking a cigarette.
“Lamech... why are you here...”
“Hoo.... you... you’re the kid... you’ve grown a lot... Hoo-hoo-hoo... and that thing next to you... boyfriend? Hmm... this is troublesome... extermination order... haa... damn it...”
“I asked you what you’re doing here.”
“Well... I received an order to start moving. Sorry about this, Cheshire.”
Cheshire looked slightly terrified. What is this? Do they know each other? This is a meeting with a new NPC...
-Whoosh.
“Huh?”
My left arm was severed. Before I could even feel the pain, Cheshire shoved me toward the shop entrance. My body floated, and I was blown somewhere in the Black Market. Leaving Cheshire alone in the shop.