The Twins Who Rolled In

I followed the gloomy-looking Poacher into the interior of the breeding ground. He’d just had his daughter snatched away by some punk-ass cultist, so he must be feeling pretty sour and depressed. Yeah, this is a kind of NTR. I mean, I just swiped the cutest, prettiest, and most competent successor away from him. You could say I gobbled up everything the Poacher had spent all that time raising. Does the Poacher even know? Just how sexually active and lewd Cheshire really is? He doesn't. He won't know until the universe itself collapses.

'Cheshire is mine, completely and utterly! You damn old geezer! If you were aiming for a "raise-to-marry" scenario, you failed!'

I smiled a triumphant smile while harboring those kinds of unsavory thoughts. I felt bitter about how I’d been cowed by the Poacher’s threats and warnings earlier. But I couldn't exactly complain out loud; I had no idea how strong he was, and if I spouted off, I could end up dead in an instant. So, I had no choice but to grumble internally.

"Alright, here’s today’s merchandise."

"Oh."

In the concrete room I followed the Poacher into, there were two glass bottles sitting on a stone pedestal, a birdcage hanging from the ceiling, and a jar filled to the brim with a bubbling, yellowish liquid. The other items looked fairly standard, but I couldn't help but inspect that jar, which emitted a strangely sour odor and made a gurgling sound.

"What is this..."

What was inside the jar—which was about the size of a kimchi refrigerator—was, surprisingly, a slime. The very same creature that’s a staple in fantasy and various other settings. Seeing the slime, I felt a sense of familiarity, wondering why it hadn't appeared sooner. Furthermore, its effect was incredibly simple and useful. It just decomposes and eats whatever you throw into the jar within an hour. Since it can even handle nuclear waste, I imagine it would have caused a massive stir if it had appeared before the apocalypse.

'But that warning label is so terrifying...'

The problem is if the jar breaks or if I accidentally come into contact with the slime. I can just have my slaves dump the trash, so I probably won't have any reason to touch it myself... 'If I don't store this properly, my base might get wiped out...' Still, the fact that I can dump anything makes it well worth the purchase. It would be safe and convenient to just bury it in the school basement where Son Haeun and the divine idol are.

"Hmm... this is a universal trash can."

"Yeah, it's a hell of a thing. It's even eco-friendly."

As the Poacher said, since it eats trash to get rid of it, it’s definitely eco-friendly.

'Wait... if it eats to get rid of it...'

Suddenly, the law of conservation of mass crossed my mind. Even in a world where gods exist and anything is possible, I doubt what it eats just vanishes from existence entirely... Doesn't that mean this thing might multiply or grow as much as it eats? What should I do if it grows enough to overflow the jar? Can I move it to another container? If this jar is specially treated so that *only* this jar isn't corroded by the slime... then that would mean I can't move it anywhere else.

"Uh... if it eats too much, it won't, like, crawl out of the jar or self-replicate, right?"

"What? Are you an idiot? It's common sense that it grows as much as it eats. Cheshire, is this the kind of guy you fell for?"

I wiped my face at the Poacher's words. Was he trying to sell me a bomb just because I took his daughter? If I bought this without knowing any better and the slime grew until it overflowed the jar, and my base was razed, and the ever-multiplying slime eventually proliferated until it covered the Earth... it might have become a monster incomparable to any zombie.

"No, I mean, doesn't that mean this bastard will eventually overflow the jar? How do you handle that? Do I have to move it to another container? No, if it keeps growing like that, it'll eventually be unusable..."

"Well, don't worry too much. There's a way."

"Yeah?"

"If you just leave it out in a well-ventilated area, it’ll vent the vaporized waste and regulate its own size. It might not look like it, but this thing is thoroughly domesticated. As long as the jar doesn't break, it’ll never try to come out. It’s completely addicted to being fed."

At the Poacher's explanation, my mind was finally put at ease. He said there’d be no problem as long as I managed the jar well.

"Look, Cultist. Slimes are much more intelligent than you think. Perhaps... it's more likely that the intelligent being is being domesticated to feed this thing, rather than the other way around. Anyway, are you buying it or not?"

"Hmm... I'll buy it for now. It's not that expensive."

It's good to have at least one infinite trash can. There are hundreds of people living in my base right now, and even if they only poop once a day, the sewers will eventually clog and the sewage will back up. Since the infrastructure of the world is shattered, I absolutely have to buy it because I now have a way to deal with all that annoying household waste and trash that’s a pain to explain.

I decided to have the slime delivered to my base and looked at the rest of the items. 'Are these bugs?' The glass bottles placed on the stone sarcophagus each contained bugs of different colors. One was a golden beetle, and the other was a jet-black beetle. The important thing was that these bastards weren't just bugs. They were... intelligent beings that looked like bugs. They were even screaming at me at the top of their lungs.

When I listened closely to what they were shouting inside the bottles...

-Let me out right now!! Did you think you could dare keep Her Majesty locked up in a place like this?! Impossible!!!

-Hey you! Get Her Majesty and me out of here right now! Or at least give us some honey!!

The Queen and the black-knight-like bug people shouting in high-pitched, whiny voices. They were quite unique. They were as groundbreaking as the masturbating fairy I bought last time.

'I should take these to Hellus.'

If I take them to old man Hellus, he'll analyze them and find a use for them. He's a mad alchemist who considers almost everything a reagent. I grinned, thinking I might be able to get some amazing potions from Hellus. I was just about to check the prices of the Queen and the black knight when—

-Flap.

Someone pushed aside the straw mat hanging at the entrance of the Poacher's hut and stepped inside.

"What the?"

"Two groups of customers?"

"Hmph. What a rare occurrence."

The three of us turned our heads toward the open entrance at the same time. Two foreign women were standing there, looking awkward. 'Twins?' They looked similar. No, they were almost identical. But their hair colors were distinctly different. One was platinum blonde, and the other had black hair. It was fascinating that they had the same face but different hair colors.

'The ones who called Cheshire earlier... it couldn't be them.'

The space in the Black Market is twisted, so the moment you open an "entrance" or "door" and step out, you get sucked into a different location. The ones we missed probably already went to the sewer where the drug addicts are or the abandoned amusement park where the clown is. And both the sewer and the amusement park where the people who called Cheshire would have been transported are just as dangerous as the food alley, and the drug dealers and slave traders waiting for customers there are far more malicious than the Poacher. That's why I was looking at items so leisurely. I figured those guys would die on their own.

Anyway, the people who just entered the shop were new faces.

"Just keep looking at the items on your own for now. I'm going to go entertain those customers."

"Ah, yes."

The Poacher left the hut, closing the sliding door behind him, leaving only me and Cheshire. It looked like he was going to receive the new customers.

"Cheshire. Things are a bit strange today, aren't they?"

"Yeah... there seem to be way too many 'human' customers in the Black Market compared to usual. And it's not just one or two..."

Cheshire and I looked at each other and nodded. Something really big must have happened. Did they open some kind of Black Market event? If this weren't the Poacher's shop, I would have captured them without asking questions, demanded an explanation, and then branded them with slave marks... but...

'If I cause a scene for no reason, I might get permanently banned...'

The Poacher is already depressed about Cheshire leaving the Black Market, so who ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠knows what kind of penalty he might impose. So, for now, I should just watch the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠situation quietly.

"Should we eavesdrop?"

"Shall we?"

Cheshire and I pressed our ears against the sliding door and eavesdropped on the conversation between the two newcomers and the Poacher.

"Hey, hello?"

"Excuse me, sir."

The twins and the Poacher were conversing in English. I could roughly understand simple words, but since they were speaking with native pronunciation, it was hard to get detailed information on what they were talking about. If I had taken the fairy's potion that gives you strangely good language skills, I would have been able to understand everything they were saying, but...

'I left it in my bag and didn't bring it...'

The communication potion Hellus made is currently at Cheshire's base. I had left most of my luggage at Cheshire's base because I thought I wouldn't have any use for it.

"Cheshire, I can't understand a word those women are saying... can you?"

"Hmm... they're asking for help. And they're looking for you and me, Jun."

"What?"

"They want to know how to get out. It seems they think we'll take them out of here. The old man is telling them to find their own way out."

According to Cheshire, the two women were asking the Poacher how to escape the Black Market, and when he wouldn't give them a straight answer, they were pestering him to let them meet us. They probably thought they could ask us for help and find ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a way out of here...

'I can just lure them to the sewer and then... make them my slaves.'

There are no vigilantes patrolling the Black Market in the sewer, and I can use my skills to my heart's content. So, I'll take them there and turn them into slaves. Then I can ask them why there are so many foreign visitors. Above all, the Poacher told us to wait inside for a moment, but I can't let a slave that caught my eye slip away. I opened the sliding door and stepped outside.

"Hello? I'm Jun. Where are you from?"

I attempted a clumsy English conversation.