Chapter 25
Chapter 25
Kim Sanho, who had nodded without any suspicion as usual, grabbed his wobbling legs and staggered inside.
Watching his retreating figure, I thought.
'He looks like a newborn fawn.'
It seemed the gym owner had really put him through his paces. Should I bring a box of apples later to thank him for the hard work?
Only after Kim Sanho completely disappeared from sight did I turn my head again.
"So, what's up? How did you know I was here?"
"I looked it up. All the info was on the internet."
"Ah, internet......."
I, who was about to say, "You could've just asked me directly, why did you look it up on the internet?" quietly shut my mouth.
'Right. I changed my number and went off the grid.'
With nothing left to say, I gave a small fake cough instead.
Yoon Haejun, noticing I had quieted down, put a smile on his lips and spoke in a soft, comforting tone.
"It's okay. You had your reasons."
"Huh? Oh, yeah......."
"Anyway, I don't have a phone since I'm preparing for debut."
The only word I had uttered out loud was 'internet,' but Yoon Haejun had accurately inferred the rest. I was inwardly stunned.
He was a guy who had always had a knack for seeing through people's hearts, then and now.
No, come to think of it, there was a System that threw a fit if it wasn't an idol, so something like mind-reading could exist. This was getting suspicious.
"Cha-gyeom."
"Huh?"
"Are you doing it again? Being an idol?"
Yoon Haejun's voice, which came through as I shook off my delusions, was full of disappointment, as if asking me to understand.
"Then come back to our company. Everyone would have welcomed you."
"Ah, well."
If I said I didn't have such a leisurely option because of the System, I'd just get a look like 'You must have had a hard time.......'
In the first place, if it weren't for the System, I probably wouldn't have stepped foot back into this industry.
Secrets really were troublesome. Since there was nothing I could say.
"It was so recent I didn't have time to tell you. And your debut team was already fixed by then."
"Huh?"
Yoon Haejun, who had rolled his eyes as if not understanding me, gave a short 'Ah,' then laughed quietly.
"It doesn't matter. They were all just substitutes for you anyway."
"Yoon Haejun."
"Ah, fine, fine. My bad."
Yoon Haejun, who had habitually waved his hand to fend off my nagging, added:
"I don't mean I don't like our team now. It's just, you know. How much I wanted to debut with you....... So, I mean, compared to you, they're just meh. Understand?"
"......."
"Even now, it's fine. I'll talk to them."
"......About what?"
"Stop wasting yourself on that kind of show and come out. It's common to drop out before the first broadcast, so it won't be hard. I'll give up my contract fee and ask them to take care of your penalty fee instead, so we can solve the company problem too."
"What on earth are you saying......."
"Let's debut together. Hmm?"
"Ha."
I let out a reflexive sigh and put my hand to my forehead.
'I said no.'
It wasn't just because of the System that stubbornly loved only Sorasum, but the premise itself was a fantasy at a time when they had already finished the debut team contracts and even investor meetings.
Yoon Haejun had said things like that a lot since the old days. Things that could never come true, idealistic things.
I stared into the air, just in case the System started beeping on its own, not understanding my feelings. Fortunately, it was quiet.
However he interpreted my continued silence, Yoon Haejun stopped what he was saying and hung his head as if giving up.
"Fine. I guess you don't want to."
Then he lifted his head again and asked.
"Are you still angry?"
"......I've never been angry."
That was the truth.
It wasn't that I didn't have any idea why Yoon Haejun asked that, but I definitely hadn't quit being a trainee out of anger.
Being a trainee meant competing with hundreds of people over just a few spots for years. Naturally, keeping each other in check, criticizing, and turning away was inevitable rather than having a sense of camaraderie.
If I had to say... I just got sick of it.
So, leaving Mary was entirely my fault. Because competing in a competition isn't wrong, but giving up is just giving up.
"Hmm....... Okay."
Yoon Haejun nodded and took a step back.
"Uh, Yoon Haejun."
Sensing he was about to leave, I hurriedly called out to stop Yoon Haejun.
"The others... are they doing well?"
At my question, Yoon Haejun stopped and stared at me intensely.
And then he smiled brightly.
"Just like always! You're not interested in the others."
"......."
"When you're only curious about one person anyway. Aren't I right?"
As I said, Yoon Haejun had always accurately grasped even my heavily wrapped inner feelings since the old days.
I didn't deny it and kept my mouth shut.
Meanwhile, Yoon Haejun began tapping his cheek with his index finger and started acting as if lost in thought.
"Hmm, Yuri hyung......."
One step, two steps.
Yoon Haejun, who had been dragging out his words and putting off the answer, gradually moved away from me.
Soon, when there was enough distance that my arm wouldn't reach, he waved his hand cheerfully.
"I'll tell you later!"
And he immediately turned around and ran off, disappearing around the corner.
Looking at the spot where Yoon Haejun had vanished in an instant, I clenched my fist in my pocket.
* * *
"Who was that?"
"Ah, just... an old coworker from my previous company."
"Mary?"
"Yeah."
I came into the practice room with a blank expression, didn't even take off my outer clothes, and stood still in thought.
'He's just the same, saying that.'
Yoon Haejun and I joined Mary at the same time. We had known each other since we were 12, so purely by years, I could describe him as an ordinary childhood friend.
Even though we had been together for years like that, I had never once felt Yoon Haejun's true feelings.
Or, should I say there was once.
'Well, it is what it is.'
It wasn't that I disliked it. That very distance was why we were able to maintain our relationship until now.
'I'll naturally find out about Yuri hyung when he debuts anyway.'
Because there was no way that hyung wouldn't debut.
I imagined the two of them debuting together from Mary for a moment, then suddenly remembered something.
"But you, you recognized me, so why didn't you recognize him?"
"Huh?"
"You recognized me when we first met."
He had said something like eternal first place or whatever, a remark that turned my stomach. Though, knowing Kim Sanho's personality now, it was clearly just something he said without thinking.
Anyway, if he knew me, there was no way he didn't know Yoon Haejun. After my name, it was him; after his name, it was me. What always came attached right after our names was each other's name.
Kim Sanho, who blinked as if recalling our first meeting, finally answered.
"Ah, I did see that hyung. At U&C Academy."
"U&C? Then your previous agency is......"
"EO."
"Ah."
Mary, uniquely, didn't hold separate internal auditions, so the ways to become a Mary trainee were usually divided into two.
Getting cast, or participating in the regular in-house auditions held at academies affiliated with Mary.
U&C Academy was one of those academies affiliated with Mary. And I knew EO Music was also connected with U&C.
The fact that Kim Sanho saw me was probably... Mary once borrowed U&C for a month-end evaluation, and it was likely then.
'Makes sense.'
I nodded and took out a can of ham from my pocket, placing it with a thud.
"Eat. I bought something you like."
"Wow."
Kim Sanho looked at the can of ham placed awkwardly between us and slowly raised his head to ask.
"But how do you eat this?"
"You just fry it and eat it."
"But there's no stove......"
"Why did you ask me to buy it then?"
After all that trouble to buy it, was I supposed to just go 'duh'?
I looked at the can of ham that had quickly become a nuisance and spotted the supply closet door slightly ajar.
"Can't we just microwave it?"
"Ah, oh....... Right. It's my first time eating it, so I didn't know."
"I don't eat it much either, but first time?"
"Huh? Yes."
Isn't canned ham a common food that you end up eating at least once even if you don't want to?
Could this guy be, like, a typical rich young master who ran away from a family that opposes music?
'......Right, U&C costs quite a bit of money.'
One of the reasons Mary only held auditions through affiliated academies was to exclude trainees without financial means.
Regardless of my opinion, these days even family background became a marketing element, and above all, it was easy to avoid responsibility if a trainee you had held onto for years failed to debut in the end.
'Wait.'
After briefly suspecting Kim Sanho's family background, I lifted my head.
And I asked the question that was inevitable for a minor in South Korea.
"San-ho."
"Yes?"
"Aren't you going to school?"
Kim Sanho, who was reading the can's instructions without even turning his eyes, answered.
"I dropped out."
'They made him drop out and then pulled him from the debut team?'
Actually, it was a common thing. It really was common.
Just looking at seniors who had debuted, dropouts were everywhere. Interviews where they confessed their trainee days, saying they longed for a normal school life, were so common now they made you yawn.
But that was only nostalgia fodder when you had debuted and succeeded.
"Ha, as if they're going to take responsibility."
"Huh? Oh, I dropped out on my own. By myself."
Yeah, they usually said they dropped out out of personal ambition like that.
There was no way trainees at their most perceptive wouldn't notice. They knew dropping out was proof of their desperation.
If they had outright forced him, I could at least blame them. There were plenty of cases where they subtly pressured you. I wouldn't badmouth them since I didn't know the details, though.
'EO Music.......'
As a subsidiary of a large corporation, its scale was on the larger side, but in the public's perception, even at best, it was a second-tier company that didn't break out of the mid-sized ranks.
I thought they hadn't launched a rookie group yet, but according to Kim Sanho, it would probably be soon.
'If they're able to push Kim Sanho aside in this era of trainee famine, their lineup must be quite something.'
Mary, EO.
So there were already two reserved competitors.
Meanwhile, my side wasn't even sure about debut.
"......Alright, let's just eat first."
Now wasn't the time to find a second-best option.
Now I really had to succeed no matter what.
* * *
Behind the Sorasum building, inside a café with a view of the main road.
I blankly watched passing buses and gulped down a decaf Americano.
It wasn't that I had any particular plan for being here; I just followed Kim Sanho when he suggested we go.
It had been a long time since I sat like this without a thought.
"Hyung."
Kim Sanho, who had been drinking some-something or other in front of me, slid his phone over.
"What."
"The preview is out."
I hurriedly moved my water cup aside and placed Kim Sanho's phone in the center of the table.
I could see a title that had crammed in every possible attention-grabbing word like shock, twist, and sudden. At this point, it was linguistic art.
And... the thumbnail.
"That's me."
"Wow."
The thumbnail split into three sections was filled with An Jiwon, me, and Baek Gyeonwoo respectively.
'The three most mentioned people.'
Still, I put aside any expectation that my screen time would be plentiful.
Originally, previews were just bait for the main broadcast. Even if you opened it and the content was totally different, it wasn't a problem.
Well, it would be a bit infuriating.
Still, since the production team had likely chosen the thumbnail with the scene most likely to attract attention, it was a good sign.
I felt a little shy seeing myself on the screen and pressed play.