Chapter 18

Just a few minutes ago it felt like someone was crying, and now hope was already in sight.

"Man, you're really good at teaching."

"Huh?"

Han Neuti, who'd practically been dumping bottled water down his throat, answered while screwing the cap back on.

"Ah, well, yeah? I did a teaching part-time gig."

"Where?"

"Near xx Station. Gyu-min, why are you rolling your shoulders? You've gotta keep them fixed."

I'd guessed he'd danced before. Still, the reason I felt a little surprised was that his way of talking was nothing like a teacher's.

Well, the dance trainer I had back at Mary had the exact same way of talking, come to think of it. Kind of brash, like a thug.......

"Why, why? You're suddenly giving me a death stare."

"Because you're handsome."

"Huh, geez. Hey man, you're the handsome one!"

Han Neuti, who seemed to have cheered up immensely, sprang up from his spot and jumped right back into teaching the choreography.

We'd originally agreed to take two each, but before I knew it, I was off in a corner memorizing the lyrics by myself.

The reason? That hyung was a way better teacher than me.

Things were already complicated enough, so there was no need to get greedy about my role. I decided to let him handle all the choreography.

There were some trainees who couldn't keep up with the progress, sure. No, quite a lot, actually. But still, everyone was trying their best to follow along—.

"Hic."

What was that?

"Hyungs, I'm so, so sorry. We're just so bad......."

The moment one of them burst into tears, the others started sniffling too.

I couldn't believe it. I stood there in the practice room, which had turned into a sea of tears in an instant, completely dumbfounded.

'With this kind of mental fortitude, how are they going to become idols?'

If I said what I was really thinking, it'd probably just accelerate the waterworks. I had no idea where to even start or what to say.

"Hey, guys, what are you crying about over something like this?"

"Yeah—."

"Compared to a dance break, what we're doing now is just kids' nursery rhymes, aagh."

I slapped Han Neuti on the back after he'd been frightening them instead of comforting them, and my head felt a bit clearer. I rubbed my lower back, which was already starting to feel stiff.

'He's hopeless at comforting people.'

On top of that, the cameras were rolling. One little slip-up, and it could easily be edited to look like being dismissive rather than comforting.

This wasn't working. I decided to just change the subject.

"......Want some snacks?"

"What've you got?"

"Not you, hyung."

I pulled out the chocolates I'd stashed deep in my pockets on the way here.

'They're being used exactly as Kim Sanho intended.......'

Feeling some sense of defeat, I awkwardly distributed the chocolates one by one. Since I only had five, the eldest hyung had to settle for waste disposal duty.

I had to eat one myself, so it couldn't be helped. I was feeling pretty distressed right now, too.

Once everyone had a chocolate in their mouths, the crying stopped. Though they visibly struggled to hold it in, probably because crying while eating would look too pathetic.

"Hyung, I'm sorry......."

"I'll work hard. I'm sorry."

Right, this was enough.

The atmosphere was still damp, and the four of them just limply waved their limbs around, reminding me of an aquarium.

Still, it was a relief that they weren't just refusing to do it outright.

"Sniff......."

I retract that.

"I-I'll work hard."

Honestly, a picture of them just kicking the practice room door open and storming out shouting "I can't do it" might be better. At least it'd put a smile on the writer's face.

"Sorry. Sorry."

"It's okay... It's okay, guys."

With the repeated mistakes and apologies, the practice couldn't proceed properly.

I stared at the lyric sheet, pressing my fingers into my brow. Internally, I was sighing a hundred times over.

'Did I misjudge?'

Maybe my mistake was assuming they'd at least have the basics down since they were trainees.

To be frank, Han Neuti and I could confidently wager that we'd never be eliminated during the first ranking announcement ceremony. Both of us ranked fairly high in terms of mention counts based on the production presentation metrics.

Which meant the benefit points weren't that crucial for us.

But those guys were a different story.

Did I push this team to the brink of a cliff out of my own greed?

"......."

I stifled a silent sigh with the lyric sheet.

The first day of practice ended in that kind of a complete mess.

* * *

Han Neuti, my roommate for this training camp period, was rustling around below. When I climbed down the ladder to check, he was rummaging through the snack pack Kim Sanho had given me.

I'd told him to grab whatever because I felt bad about not giving him a chocolate earlier, but why was he still just picking through them?

"Why is it all sweets? This is like a kid's palate."

"The company prepared them for me."

"Ah, sorry."

I pushed aside Han Neuti, who was about to eat a jelly, and flopped down onto his bed.

"Hey, it's cramped, man. Neither of us is small."

"Then switch beds."

"Whose fault is it that I'm stuck on a rock?"

I pretended not to hear and blocked my ears with the pillow.

The fact that I lost rock-paper-scissors and had my lower bunk taken away wasn't all that important right now.

"Wow, look at this shamelessness."

'Fine, let's say I was selfish.'

Earlier, the tear attack had thrown me off and my brain stopped working, but thinking it over calmly, this was absolutely not a situation warranting that much despair.

The song just sucked, that was all. One Circuit's <Nice Zombie> boasted the easiest difficulty among this round's mission songs.

Since it was hip-hop, memorizing the lyrics might be a little tricky, but that was the only thing. The dance was Jesse-centric choreography, so aside from the dance break, it was basically just level of rhythmic movement.

'The dance break's gotta be at least a few seconds long.'

But to be understanding about it—this was an idol competition show. Hard to believe, but those guys had all come out here to compete, saying they wanted to be idols too.

And they were saying they couldn't even handle this? Did that make any sense?

Skill wasn't the issue. This was.......

"I don't think we can go on like this."

"Huh?"

Han Neuti, who had given up on the bed and was heading up to the top bunk, hung from the ladder and poked his head out.

I stared fixedly at the ceiling and spoke.

"Let's give the kids a little mental education. Together."

* * *

I made it sound all grandiose by calling it mental education, but it was nothing special.

"Hyung, why, why at this hour......."

All I did was wake the kids up at dawn and assemble them behind the practice building.

"You know there are no cameras here, right?"

"......!"

At my words, the Grays flinched violently and started quivering.

"Hey, Chae-gyeom. That line just now was total gangster boss ma—."

As soon as my eyes met Han Neuti's, who'd been chattering away, he shut his mouth and went back to his stretching.

I let out a sigh, took off the long padded jacket I was wearing, and placed it on a bench.

"Let's practice."

"H-Here?"

"Yeah."

The kinds of ambitions a trainee appearing on an audition show might have were all more or less the same.

Prime among them: the desire to be captured on camera as much as possible.

That was why, usually, people sought out practice rooms ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠where the cameras were rolling even during individual practice. To appeal to the viewers with how hard they were working.

But not these guys.

"You're embarrassed right now, aren't you?"

"......Huh?"

"I'm asking if you're embarrassed that all this footage of you being so bad might air on TV."

I didn't know what their original grades were, but every kid here had dropped a grade. Their ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠pride must have been bruised pretty badly during the practice process.

Even though Han Neuti, who looked like he had zero thoughts in his head, and I had also dropped grades, our situation was different.

You could see that difference just by turning on social media.

"Are you thinking, 'We probably won't debut anyway, so it's better to get eliminated like this and not leave a mark on anyone's memory'?"

"N-No, no."

One of them hastily denied it, and the remaining three flinched a little before lowering their heads. It didn't seem like I'd hit the bullseye perfectly, but I wasn't entirely wrong either.

"Guys, if we go on like this, you're going to be very vividly remembered in people's minds. As the team that was disgustingly bad."

"......."

"You've probably all seen it at least once—the kind of thing that gets brought up whenever there's a chance."

The 'disastrous stage' from Season 1 that had viewers bursting into laughter was still getting uploaded to NeoTube Shorts at every opportunity. The comments were obvious without even looking.

There weren't many programs where it was this acceptable to mock the contestants. It had blown up thanks to that in the first place, after all.

I wasn't about to start debating the downsides now, when I'd come on the show specifically to exploit that kind of buzz.

"So, us......."

I zipped up my track jacket all the way to my neck for no reason.

I needed to brace myself a little for what I was about to say next.

"I'll take responsibility so that you won't... I mean, so you'll be less embarrassed in front of the cameras."

"Why didn't you just say 'not'? Why'd you go and change it?"

Only Han Neuti's criticism rang out. The air remained deathly silent.

Strange. In my hopeful little fantasy, this should have been the moment when they'd start saying they'd work hard.

Feeling a bit burdened, I dragged over Han Neuti, who'd been twisting his waist side to side like some old man doing moonlight calisthenics, and stood him up.

"It's your turn, hyung."

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm no good except for the physical stuff."

Despite saying that, Han Neuti squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to think of something cool to say and began to ponder seriously.

He finally gave one big nod and was about to open his mouth.

"Guys, back in my day—."

"Bu-But honestly, though."

One of the Grays cut Han Neuti off and butted in.

"Hyungs, you might not get it, but for us... the benefit points are really important. But, when you chose the same song as that team......."

"Keep talking."

"At first, I tried really hard. But, there's no hope, right? Even if we work hard from now on, how do we beat that other team? The song too, honestly, I don't really know that senior group......."

"Shouldn't you have said that when I asked if there was a song you wanted to do?"

"Back then we were in front of the cameras and....... Hyung, you know how it is. Guys like us... if we act out of line to a hyung like you, we'll get cursed out......."

Han Neuti shut his mouth with a 'hmph' and glanced at me to gauge my reaction.

The other three also rolled their eyes around, staring at the one who'd spoken. Their looks suggested they were watching a motorcycle that had suddenly accelerated out of control.

"You're okay with it because a few measly votes mean nothing to a hyung like you. Even this right now... it's just a bunch of talk to look good on TV......."

"Gyu-min."

I took off my glasses and rubbed my face.

"If that was my intention, I'd be saying this in front of the cameras. Would I be doing it secretly over here?"

"......."

"Fine, I get how you feel, and I've got nothing to refute. So if you feel it's unfair, go say it in an interview. Tell them you wanted to work hard but it all went to ruin because of Chae-gyeom hyung. I'm fine with it, so go ahead."

"I wasn't saying I'd...... no......."

"In return, let's at least pretend to work hard. That way, people will be on your side. I don't want to make you guys get hate either."

Gyu-min clenched his fist and shut his mouth. It hadn't been meant to start a fight; it seemed like his emotions had just momentarily exploded.

'Did I get through it safely?'

The moment I thought that, another Gray darted forward and strode right up to me.

I wasn't scared. He didn't look like he was coming to hit me.

"L-Let's start."

As he stepped forward ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and took his starting position, the others, who'd been watching for cues, also scrambled to move toward their formation.

Gyu-min, who'd been standing awkwardly in the middle, also shuffled over to find his spot, then bowed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠his head. I could see his fist trembling slightly.

"Hurry up."

His voice was still trailing off, and his eyes lacked any confidence—completely unbecoming for spitting out lyrics like "smash it to pieces, blockbuster, I'm a zombie yeah."

"There's no... time......."

But it seemed like they'd at last arrived at the realization that even these uselessly ticking seconds and minutes were too precious to waste.

"......Okay. Let's do that. Hey, what are we going to do about the singing?"

"Uh, well, the competition is live anyway, so if we practice from now on......."

I was relieved I hadn't had to pull out my Plan B of 'If you're going to do it like this, then just drop out.'

Hoping that card would stay sealed for good, I looked over their eyes, filled more with urgency than motivation, and spoke.

"Have you memorized the lyrics?"

"......."

We still had a long way to go.......