Chapter 112
Chapter 112
As I looked around at the members in confusion, it was only when my eyes met Kim Yuri's that I realized what was going on.
'Ah, I see.'
The production team wasn't trying to mess with us. They were kindly laying out a red carpet for us, who had zero variety show experience.
Right. Succeeding too perfectly wasn't fun. If we succeeded in one shot, it'd be hard to get good screen time out of it.
The failure reactions were entertaining to watch too, so they were necessary scenes.
'I can't believe I forgot the basics of variety.'
I really had a long way to go.
After finishing a wordless agreement with Kim Yuri through a look, I immediately put on an expression of regret and spoke in a voice thick with disappointment.
"Ah, seriously... that's such a shame......."
Almost simultaneously, Kim Yuri raised her voice.
"No way, the first and second verses are way too similar!"
As if delighted by our expected response, the MC laughed cheerfully and shot back.
"Hahaha, that's how it works! The cruelty of our 'Idol Comprehensive Review' you're experiencing for the first time—pretty brutal, right? Now then, shall we hold back our tears and pick the first item to eliminate?"
Kim Yuri added some acting, dabbing at her eyes with the back of her hand as she spoke.
"Then we'll... eliminate the canned food set......."
'......That is kind of a waste, though.'
Actually, considering our schedules, canned food that we could stockpile and eat over time was more practical than meat that had to be eaten right away.
But eliminating the Hanwoo first... that was nonsense in variety. Let's just do this the ordinary way, eliminating items by lowest price point, step by step.
"Okay! Canned food set is out! No need to be too disappointed. You still have three items left, after all! Now then, shall we go straight into the next challenge?"
The moment the senior MC shouted, the second song started playing.
The song selected this time was 'HOOKED,' a B-side from our album and one we'd also performed once on a music show.
And it was exactly my part.
I quickly moved to the center and got ready to start the choreography.
The moment I hit the first move on beat.
"Buzz!"
......Huh?
"Oh dear! That's so unfortunate again. What a shame, it was the second verse again! Our Cha-gyeom, the choreography is slightly different in the second verse, right?"
I blinked for a moment.
'Wait, well.......'
This is... variety too, I guess?
"Yes, the second verse comes in one beat later than the first verse......."
"Hang on, hang on. Our Cha-gyeom is way too innocent. At times like this, you have to insist that the production team heard it wrong and that we danced correctly! You don't know variety!"
"Ah, uh, right......!"
"But since you've honestly admitted it, it can't be helped. Now, the second eliminated item! Which one will you exclude?"
This one really was genuinely a waste, but there was no helping it.
"We'll eliminate the fruit set."
At that moment, Han Neuti suddenly raised a hand.
"No, but......."
'Don't!'
I knew perfectly well what Han Neuti was about to say, but right now, playing along with the production team's script was the priority.
I urgently jabbed Han Neuti in the side to stop him.
Blocked from speaking by the sudden attack, Han Neuti rubbed his side and stared at me, bewildered. When I shot him a look, he nodded vigorously as if he'd understood.
'......Did he really understand?'
In the meantime, the MC shamelessly continued with the proceedings.
"HAZERD, who sent even the fruit set packing! Will they be able to protect the remaining two items? Now, let's go for the third challenge!"
For the third challenge, 'HOOKED' played once more, and without any fluster this time, we executed the choreography like machines.
And it was just as the chorus was almost ending.
"Buzz! Ah, that's too bad. Genuinely a shame."
Again?
Though, to be fair, this time we really had made a mistake.
"So-wol's arm angle is about 15 degrees lower than the other members!"
"Ah, I'm sorry."
At the sight of Jeong Sowol meekly admitting it, the MC tilted his eyebrows into a sad slant as if genuinely regretful and said,
"Tsk, usually you could put up a bit of a fight over something like this, but you admitted it too easily again. Our HAZERD members seem too honest and innocent....... You really don't know variety, seriously."
I mean, arm angle is important in group dance, isn't it?
But the senior's words did... have a point. I'd have to try harder from now on to fire back while adding more variety-appropriate action.
Anyway, it was time to eliminate another item again.
"We'll eliminate the Hanwoo set."
At my words, the MC asked back, sounding flustered.
"Oh, uh, er....... The Hanwoo? No, I mean, it's not just any Hanwoo, it's a 1++ grade Hanwoo set. Are you really cutting this one?"
"Yes, we'll cut it."
"All the members agree on this?"
After confirming the members' affirmation, the MC spoke in a mournful tone, as if it were his own meat being taken away.
"Yes, Hanwoo set... is out! Ah, such a shame. That's really premium meat, and to think it'll end up in the mouths of our production crew......."
Hmm.......
The program's very concept was the MC bickering with the production team, so I made a point of absolutely not thinking that the senior's character seemed flawed.
"Then the only remaining item now is the 'Idol Comprehensive Review Appearance Ticket.' Will they be able to defend this final item? Now, let's go for the last challenge!"
Before the song came on, we all exchanged looks and nodded with determination.
'Let's not lose this one.'
Canned food? Fruit? Hanwoo? Those were all things we could buy and eat with the President's card.
But the appearance ticket was something we could only get here.
Besides, seeing how they were treating us today, I genuinely had an ominous feeling... that without this appearance ticket, they wouldn't invite us back a second time.
And, fortunately, the song that played this time was the chorus part of our title track, 'MAZE,' a song all the members knew the choreography for perfectly.
'This is practically the same as them handing it over for free.'
There was no way we'd get this one wrong.......
"Buzz!"
.......
"Ah, that's a shame. It was the second verse again!"
A brief, cold silence passed among the members.
We... stopped in our tracks for a moment, caught our breath, and calmly exchanged looks.
'Those looks meant.......'
That we couldn't take it anymore.
Especially Baek Gyeonwoo—his expression looked like he was about to become the main culprit of a broadcast accident any second.
In the end, I stepped forward as the representative to mediate the situation.
"Um... senior."
The MC answered nonchalantly.
"Yes, Cha-gyeom? What is it?"
"That part just now... it was the first verse."
"How can you be so sure it's the first verse and not the second? If we verify and it turns out not to be....... Ah, I know! How about Cha-gyeom takes the penalty on behalf of the group?"
'No, penalty or whatever.......'
The production team's current trick was this.
They played a section that repeated identically in the first and second verses and then just stubbornly insisted on it. Whether they played the first verse and called it the second, or the other way around, most people would just have to let it slide.
But.
"The electronic sound is different."
The MC's eyes widened slightly.
"......Pardon?"
"The effectors used on the electronic parts are different between the first and second verses. It's a subtle difference, but if we listen back to it now, you'll be able to feel the difference."
At my explanation, one of the production staff hurriedly put on headphones.
As the MC hesitated and fell silent for a moment, Han Neuti, seizing the moment, chimed in with a word.
"Also, in the first song, 'Aiming,' the hi-hat tempo was different between the first and second verses... That part you said earlier was the second verse... it was the first verse."
As expected, Han Neuti had noticed too.
'Though we also have a lot to say about 'HOOKED,' which we supposedly got wrong earlier.......'
By this point, our message had gotten across, so there was no need to pile on more.
The MC hesitated, then asked cautiously.
"So... the two of you knew about this?"
"Yes......."
It wasn't just us two—Kim Yuri had seemed to notice as well.
Faced with irrefutable evidence, the MC cleared his throat a couple of times, rolling his eyes, then promptly threw the cue card he was holding onto the floor as if giving up on everything.
"Aghhh! Whatever! That's why I said, let's not try to deceive our kids in such petty ways, dear production team!!"
A silence fell again at his sudden shift in stance.
"Everyone, don't get the wrong idea! I merely followed the script, and this was all! A scheme by those wicked production folks! Isn't that right, PD?"
Behind the camera, some of the production crew hidden in the darkness let out embarrassed little laughs.
The MC pantomimed wiping sweat and tried his best to smooth things over.
"Ah, haha, the truth is, this was... a special project, with a profound purpose, to elevate the variety skills of our variety newbies, HAZERD, to the next level! You know? So you could learn how to be stubborn and refuse to back down....... Ha ha, that's how it came to be."
Ah, so that was it.
For such a shoddy deception, I had thought the atmosphere felt oddly more kind than hostile.
'Wait, so in the end, it was supposedly for our sake.'
Did we end up making things awkward by getting all serious and speaking up for nothing?
A wave of misplaced guilt washed over me, and I was reading the room when, like a decalcomania, the MC senior, who had been reading our mood just the same, asked abruptly with a sheepish expression.
"But let me ask one thing. If you knew all along, why didn't you say something earlier? Why let it get to the point where even the Hanwoo was taken away before revealing it right at the end?"
Ah, that was.......
I looked at the scrap of paper left all alone on the shelf and said,
"We really wanted the appearance ticket......."
At my answer, the MC's eyes grew wide.
"Ah, really? No, wait. You're saying... you wanted this tattered little scrap of paper more than that Hanwoo set over there? Sincerely?"
All six of us nodded.
The MC stared at us for a moment as if he'd lost his words.
Then he suddenly glanced over at the production crew.
"Pfft......."
Suddenly, he clutched his stomach and started laughing.
"Ah, wait, hold on. Dear production crew, everyone, look in a mirror right now. It's just written all over your faces: 'Touched'! You're practically dripping honey! Why don't you ever look at me like that normally, hm?"
When I turned my head, I could indeed witness several producers sporting smiles so warm it almost gave me goosebumps.
'......What the.'
Was this really something to get that moved over?
Did that mean until now, other teams had chosen the Hanwoo, not the appearance ticket?
As if driving the nail into my curiosity, the MC wiped his tears and said,
"I see, I see. Idol Comprehensive Review is better than Hanwoo, is that it? Ah, I've never seen a team like this before. Aren't you guys just too sincere about our program?"
'.......'
No, it was true that we were desperate for the appearance ticket.
To be honest, it was also true that our members didn't particularly have any greed for the Hanwoo.
It wasn't that we didn't like meat—the biggest issue was that we were too busy right now to have any time to eat it.
"Ah, the production crew is so moved right now they're about to cry. Can you see the writer over there? That person is famous for being ice-cold. Look, right now! She's completely smitten. Oh, she's saying she'll give you a hundred appearance tickets, asking if you can use them all?"
Still, since they were reacting so happily, there was no need to lay out all our private circumstances.......
The members seemed to think the same as me, as everyone put on their 'passionate rookie' faces and nodded along diligently.
"Ah, and seeing how sincere you all are looks so good that they're telling you to just take the rest of the prizes too, since they were going to give them to you anyway. Hahaha, heyy! When you didn't give them to the other teams so strictly! Look at you pretending to be nice all of a sudden to HAZERD! How sickening!"
Even the rest of the rewards we hadn't dared hope for came back to us.
Kim Sanho, gazing at the now plentiful items on the shelf, murmured quietly.
"It's like the gold axe, silver axe folktale......."