I Need You
“Ryan! Are you really all right?”
Stunned that he didn’t have a single scratch on him, Ceria took his face in both hands, turning his head this way and that as she checked every inch.
“I’m fine… So please, stop touching me…”
Ryan gently nudged her hands away and tried to get to his feet, only for his legs to give out beneath him. He collapsed right back onto the ground. While there were no visible injuries, the sheer concussive shock had left his head throbbing with a dull ache.
“Ryan, don’t try to force yourself up. Just rest for a bit.”
Ceria wheeled the mana bike right alongside him so he had something solid to lean against. With a place to rest his aching head, Ryan finally let out an easy breath.
“Stay right there. It doesn’t matter if we’re late, so don’t get up until you feel better.”
Pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of her uniform jacket, she began gently dabbing away the grime and sweat clinging to his face.
“You don’t need to clean me up. I can do it myself.”
Ryan lifted a hand to push hers away once more, but this time she cut him off before he could move.
“Just stay still.”
Her voice carried a gravity starkly different from her usual bright demeanor. Or rather, it sounded as if she were desperately choking back a swell of emotion.
“This only happened because I couldn’t finish that demon off in one strike… If only I’d done my job properly…”
She tried her best to appear composed, but her voice was already trembling.
“That’s not true. The demon had its eyes on me the entire time, and I didn’t even realize it. It’s my own fault, Ceria. You didn’t do anything wrong…”
At his gentle reassurance, the hand dusting off his uniform froze in place.
“Thank you for saying that… But I…”
Ceria brought a hand up to rest against her chest. Even though quite some time had passed since the battle ended, her heart was still hammering wildly against her ribs.
“I thought you were dead because of me… I was so scared…”
She had long since come to terms with her own shortcomings. In Training Team 2, she was always the one lagging behind the rest. Yet never before had her inadequacy put the team in mortal danger.
They had always looked out for one another, covering for each other so that her mistakes amounted to nothing more than minor mishaps. She felt disappointed in herself, of course, but it was something she could accept.
This time was different.
Because of her lack of skill, Ryan had been thrown into lethal peril—and she had been utterly powerless to stop it. The instant the blow struck him, terror had frozen her legs in place. Right up until the moment he brought the beast down himself, all she could do was stand there and watch.
When she had first met Ryan and they started living together, she had been overjoyed, walking on air. She had spent every day daydreaming about all the happy memories they would make under the same roof. The terrifying reality that she could have lost him in the blink of an eye was more than she could bear.
“I’m sorry… It’s because I’m so useless… so pathetic…”
The self-reproach she had kept buried deep inside for years came spilling out all at once. Right there in front of Ryan, she broke down into bitter sobs.
“Ceria…”
She had never shown him anything but a bright, cheerful smile from the moment they met. Seeing her weep for the first time, Ryan froze solid.
His mind raced. He couldn’t just leave her crying like this. While he had no idea how to properly comfort a weeping girl, a fundamental rule he had read in a book somewhere floated to the surface of his thoughts.
When someone is hurting, a single embrace does far more good than a hundred hollow words.
Well, might as well try it.
Though his head was still throbbing faintly, Ryan leaned forward. Spreading his arms, he gently drew the sobbing girl into an embrace. She was petite to begin with, and curled up tightly as she was, it proved harder than expected to wrap his arms around her properly.
Just as the faint scent of floral perfume brushed his nose, Ceria gave a startled flinch against him.
“R-Ryan?”
Only after his arms had settled over her back did she seem to realize what was happening. Feeling awkward about holding her in complete silence, Ryan decided he should at least offer a few words.
“You’re not useless at all, Ceria. Nor are you pathetic.”
“B-but… you were in danger because of me…”
“I already told you, that was my own mistake. And to me, you’re an incredible person. You’ve taught me so many things I never understood before.”
“That’s just…”
“There’s still so much I don’t know. Which means I’m going to need your help even more from now on.”
Ceria had never imagined he would hug her. Breaking down in tears had been completely involuntary in the first place, but hearing those gentle words of comfort while held in his embrace felt like a warm balm soothing her frayed heart. She could physically feel the warmth spreading through her chest at a pace she never could have anticipated.
Comfort from anyone might have helped, but she doubted anyone else’s words could have worked such swift magic. To her, Ryan truly felt like someone special.
As the trembling in her shoulders gradually subsided, Ryan gently patted her back. When he had first resolved to comfort her, he had worried whether his body and tongue would cooperate, but it hadn't turned out nearly as difficult as he feared.
“What I’m trying to say is, no matter what kind of person you think you are, I need you. I have to adapt to living here, and I have to get my memories back.”
“…I see.”
“And I’m not going to die before I recover those memories. Look, I took a direct hit from that thing and walked away without a scratch. Doesn’t that mean I must have been someone pretty amazing before I lost my memory?”
Ceria didn’t answer right away. But wrapped in his arms, Ryan could feel her shoulders trembling with a sudden, silent chuckle.
“You know, I’m pretty sure I read in a book about what happens to people who laugh right after crying.”
Thump.
A light punch landed squarely against his stomach.
“Ow…”
“…Thank you. I’m okay now.”
“Oh. Already?”
“Yeah. It’s getting a little warm, anyway.”
Pulling back from his embrace, Ceria let out a long breath, as if expelling the last dregs of her sorrow. Perhaps flushed from the heat of his chest, her cheeks were slightly pink.
“Thank you again… If you need me, then I’ll just have to do my best.”
Clasping her hands together tightly, she looked at him. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, but they shone with renewed resolve.
“All right. Let’s take it easy today. Instead of heading straight back to the research facility, why don’t we stop by District 48 first?”
“What are we going to do there?”
“Well… let’s buy something to eat. I barely moved, but I’m starving. We can grab some takeout for Robert, too.”
“Ryan, you don’t have any money.”
“Ceria, I told you. I need you.”
Thwack.
As Ryan held out an open palm, Ceria promptly delivered a sharp kick straight to his shin.
“Ow, wait… I think that hurt more than the bear…”
It had definitely caught him right on the bone.
After enjoying a meal in District 48, the two returned to the underground facility carrying a hot meal for Robert.
“I was wondering why you two were taking so long… So this was the reason?”
“Yes. It’s from a really good spot in District 48, so we brought some for you. Oh, Robert, would you mind giving Ryan a quick checkup?”
“A checkup… you say?”
After listening to the explanation of what had transpired, Robert wiped his glasses with a cleaning cloth, slipped them back onto the bridge of his nose, and stared intently at Ryan.
“A B+ Rank? And you took the forepaw of a Bear Type directly to the face? I assume I am not speaking to a ghost?”
“I assure you, Robert, I am very much alive.”
“I find that rather difficult to fathom. A B+ rank Bear Type… Even during my active duty as a knight, taking a direct blow from one of those beasts nearly cost me my life.”
“Wait, you nearly died from one?” Ceria asked, blinking in surprise. “Didn’t you say you used to be a Master Knight?”
“Yes, indeed I was. I even fought on the same battlefields as your father, Commander Johann.”
“The War of the Ominous Bird…”
It was a war that no resident of Westgard could ever forget, and Ceria was momentarily struck with awe realizing that another survivor of that conflict stood right before her.
“Indeed. While battling demons in the urban sectors of Westgard, one of those beasts ambushed me from the flank and landed a solid blow. Its claws tore across my face, and the sheer concussive force left me unable to even stand.”
“And you’re saying Ryan took a hit from an attack that powerful and walked away unscathed?”
“Which is precisely why I asked if I was looking at a ghost. The fact that his face bears no lacerations is absurd enough on its own… but given the impact, he may be suffering from a concussion. Let us conduct a proper examination.”
Having retired from the knighthood to take up a post as a research director at RoH Life Research—one of Cosmia’s premier biotechnological giants—Robert’s private facility was equipped with a comprehensive array of specialized medical equipment. It was said he used these tools to treat injuries sustained during his solitary demon research, as well as for the experiments themselves.
Robert carefully scrutinized the Projection Photo displaying the interior of Ryan’s skull. Convinced that taking a blow from a Bear Type must have caused damage somewhere, his eyes searched the image with meticulous precision.
“This is… truly nonsensical.”
Robert slid the Projection Photo across the desk toward the two of them. Though their medical knowledge extended no further than ‘go to the hospital when it hurts,’ even they could discern one unmistakable fact from the image.
The scan of Ryan’s head showed pristine, unbroken bone without the slightest sign of trauma.
“So… I really am completely fine, right?”
“Yes. The only thing that isn’t fine is the sheer absurdity of your condition. Hmm… an abnormal constitution hyper-specialized in physical defense… That is certainly a possibility.”
“A constitution?”
“Indeed. Just as every human possesses a unique physical build, the manifestations of ability among Awakeners vary wildly. Some are born with an overwhelming innate aptitude for mana manipulation…”
Robert glanced toward Ceria.
“…while others possess an absurd, extreme degree of raw physical strength.”
The moment the words physical strength left his mouth, Ceria realized he wasn’t talking about her.
Ah… Unnie…
“Such things belong strictly to the realm of inborn talent. Naturally, how fully one blossoms that inherent gift depends upon personal effort, but…” Robert clenched and opened his right hand slowly as he continued. “Some individuals are blessed with talents that require no effort whatsoever to bloom. Sadly, I was never blessed with such a gift… but perhaps you possess one, Ryan.”
“Coming from someone who rose all the way to Master Knight, Robert, that doesn’t sound very convincing…” Ceria remarked with an awkward smile.
“Miss Ceria, during the War of the Ominous Bird, so many knights were slaughtered daily that anyone who managed to stay alive for three months was handed the title of Master Knight.”
Robert raised three fingers to emphasize the point. Ceria let out a sheepish chuckle.
“Haha… Well, they say that it’s not the strong who survive, but those who survive who are strong. You must have been extraordinarily capable, Robert.”
“Is that so? Well, I retired at a relatively young age, and that was many years ago now. I wouldn’t dare compare myself to the young Master Knights of today.”
Evidently unwilling to dwell further on the past, Robert gestured for them to head out. But just as they reached the threshold of the research wing, Robert called out to Ryan.
“Ah, Ryan. Take this, just in case.”
“What is it?”
“Painkillers. If a headache begins to flare up, take them with water.”
“Ah… thank you.”
“And… Ryan. You may disregard what I am about to say if you wish. Consider it merely the unnecessary fretting of an older man.”
“Yes? What is it?”
“Getting along well with Miss Ceria is all well and good… but I advise you against becoming too close.”
“…Why do you say that?”
“From my perspective, there is something rather questionable about the situation. No matter that you saved her life, offering to take a complete stranger into one’s home and live together so readily…”
“I see…”
“One should always be wary of those who bestow sudden, overwhelming favors. People only show goodwill when it yields some manner of profit in return. Never forget that.”
“Profit…”
Ryan lapsed into quiet thought at Robert’s words. Yet from where he stood, he saw no reason why staying close to Ceria would be a bad thing.
The intense deja vu he had felt upon first meeting her was almost certainly tied to his lost memories. And he was genuinely grateful that she had opened her home to a total stranger with nowhere else to go.
He had more than enough reasons to remain by her side. Having already made up his mind, being told to keep his distance left a faintly bitter taste in his mouth.
“Robert, wasn't saving me on the side of the road an act of goodwill, too? Did you do that because there was profit in it for you?”
“Yes. I will not deny it. Thanks to the specimens and materials you have gathered for me, my research has progressed at an accelerated pace.”
“And if you ever decide I’m no longer profitable, will you withdraw that goodwill?”
“The notion of you ceasing to be of value is quite unimaginable to me. But should such a day ever come… that is a decision to be made when the time arrives. I have no desire to fret over things that have yet to happen.”
“Right. Robert, I feel the exact same way.”
Slipping the painkillers into his pocket, Ryan walked toward the heavy exit door of the research wing. Just before pushing it open, he turned back toward Robert.
“I’ll make my own decisions when the time comes, too. There’s no need for me to worry about things that haven’t happened yet. Thank you for the painkillers.”
Ryan stepped through the doorway. The metallic thud of the heavy iron door latching shut echoed down the corridor longer than usual.
Staring at the closed door, Robert let out a quiet sigh.
“Hah… Young people these days, truly…”