Hastur (2)
"What... do you mean...? It's no use?"
I tilted my head, and Hastur spoke.
-It's annoying to explain it in a way your lowly gray-matter brain-flesh can understand...
At least he was still answering me consistently. That was something.
"Couldn't you explain it a little anyway?"
-What...?
Hastur's belly skin grotesquely rippled, visible even through his yellow garb. Probably laughing. He stared down at me for a long while, then responded with what seemed like satisfaction.
-How a pathetic worm like you can stand before me, maintaining your sanity with such brazenness... it's truly fascinating. Hmm... A most peculiar flow of causality.
He muttered to himself in a dry tone, then continued.
-Fine... I'll explain. Nyarlathotep has already decided to devour your planet. And Shub-Niggurath is the same. One with the digestive juices of ruin and chaos, the other with creation and balance... There are scarcely any beings in this boundless universe who can twist that flow.
So then, it was all pointless?
Whether I destroyed that magic circle or not, it was just over, just like that?
-That magic circle is nothing. You're gravely mistaken. Outer Gods are supreme existences far beyond the cognition and wisdom of you insects. Do you think such a being would be swayed by a mere drawing on the floor by vermin...? Do you grant the wishes of ants crawling in circles on the ground? The ritual circle you know as Shakallu-Enshar is little more than a slop bucket set up to catch the scraps of Nyarlathotep's power.
So, the principal and his gang drew that Shakallu-Enshar magic circle just to siphon off a bit of Nyarlathotep's power, and they kept sacrificing fetuses to receive even those worthless scraps.
That was evil enough in its own right.
Maybe I could make a more direct request to Hastur. This god seemed to hold some inexplicable interest and favor toward me.
I steeled my face and brazenly said,
"...I want to keep both Nyarlathotep and Shub-Niggurath from setting foot on Earth. Is there any way?"
Gurgle- Gurgle-
Hastur's belly rippled again.
-Truly amusing. As a human, you're witnessing the power of gods more closely than anyone. And yet... you speak of blocking two gods at once?
"Yes."
I answered immediately.
-Not broken, nor hiding some ulterior motive. A mere insect... truly intent on defying gods. I sense a most peculiar ripple of causality from you. Very well. Since you've pierced the veil of eons with your worm-flesh to entertain me, I'll answer your question.
Gulp.
I had the feeling I was about to learn something tremendous.
-The Forgotten Gods. The failed ascendants of your planet who couldn't become true gods. Gather all their power, and it might just be possible.
Forgotten Gods...
Failed ones...?
!
Wait, this was...
The phrasing was a bit different, but what Hastur was telling me matched exactly the second precept that had surfaced in my mind after the pseudo-incest with Jia.
Hastur's words were as good as a divine oracle, so the precepts in my head had to be spot-on too.
At this point, I was dying to know.
What the hell were those precepts?
They'd pointed me in the same direction as a god's wisdom—and before the god himself.
How far had the past me experienced?
So the 'me' I couldn't remember... how far into the future had he reached?
How could I know this information in advance?
I couldn't even begin to grasp it now.
ZZZT- ZZZT-
Suddenly, my vision blurred.
"Urgh...!? Wh-what the hell..."
This wasn't mere physical pain. No, it was closer to primal terror than pain. Like my very existence was being erased.
-Because you're standing before a great god in a mere insect's body... The peculiar causality protects you from your soul and mind collapsing, but even that's reaching its limit.
"S-so you're saying my existence is breaking down under your power, Lord Hastur?"
Nod nod.
Fuck, I'm screwed.
I flailed and shouted,
"Th-then, could you send me back now?"
Even now, my soul felt like it was getting contaminated in real time.
Hastur, who had so readily answered my questions, had felt oddly friendly, but now his massive form loomed ever larger.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
In an instant, Hastur's presence expanded.
Ah.
I hadn't seen it until now.
Just as human eyes gradually make out something in the dark after dark adaptation, the longer I spent with Hastur, the more my soul sensed the overwhelming might of that existence.
As I broke out in cold sweats, Hastur replied in a tone of bafflement.
-Why... should I do that...?
"Wh-what?"
-I've already bestowed my blessing upon you... I've stitched your worthless flesh back together and filled your skin and guts with a useless gas mixture so you can breathe, haven't I...?
So even the air I was breathing now was thanks to Hastur.
CRUNCH!
My brain screamed inside my skull.
Hastur's influence began tearing my soul apart—without any intent to attack, just by standing there!
"Urgh... You said the Enzu Niram magic circle was for communication, so why is this happening..."
-The Enzu Niram magic circle. You're truly obtuse. Do you think a forbidden grimoire holding taboo knowledge would offer pure goodwill to its possessor...?
So the Equinox Book had fed me false info.
Damn it.
I glared at Hastur, blood tears starting to stream from my eyes.
"Send me back!"
I had shit to do.
I was going to drive that Nyarlathotep fucker—or whatever—and Shub-Niggurath off Earth.
I... I was going to reclaim my world!
"Fuck, send me back!!"
I don't know where this courage came from. Just pure injustice and rage exploding all at once.
What the hell had I done wrong to wake up in this shit world and get hurled to an alien planet for torment?
Nyarlathotep... Shub-Niggurath... Hastur...
Who the fuck were you?
"Who the fuck are you, you bastards!!"
As I screamed obscenities, Hastur's belly writhed violently.
Gurgle- Gurgle!
But this time, it wasn't quiet laughter—a mad cackle echoed.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
It wasn't laughter transmitted through sound. It was Hastur's pure joy and amusement resounding in my human brain in a form it could perceive.
But it was too loud. Too overwhelming.
Just a few laughs, and the god's churning emotions threatened to shatter my mind.
"Gaaaaah!"
-To dare harbor hostility toward me... How is this possible... Amusing. Truly amusing. That changes my mind. I'll grant you the blessing of the Interstellar Wind. You shall serve as my apostle in the farce of Nyarlathotep and Shub-Niggurath. Three gods clashing over a speck of dust like your rocky planet... Kuhuhu... I can't wait to see what entertaining chaos unfolds...
Hastur seemed delighted, like a child with a new toy.
Favor toward humanity?
What bullshit.
This bastard's so-called favor for humanity was just the curiosity of watching which ant wiggled its antennae more entertainingly.
Aleister Crowley, that fucking bitch... wrote a shit book. Not entirely lies, but filled with cleverly deceptive info you couldn't help but swallow.
As I ground my teeth, Hastur raised a pale hand larger than a pot lid, reaching to envelop my skull.
My whole body trembled uncontrollably.
Could I pull it off?
I didn't know what the Interstellar Wind blessing was, but from what he said, it sounded like he'd hijack my body to spectate Earth's events.
If this real-deal god took my body, could I still regress afterward?
Maybe Hastur already knew about my death-regression ability and had some trick to seal it forever.
The burst of rage cooled in the frigid void of space, and fear of this divine being—beyond human comprehension—quickly overtook my mind.
No.
No way.
If he knew, with his obsession for the intriguing, he'd have blabbed about it for sure.
Grind!
But... so what?
I was probably about to meet the most horrific death yet.
Whether the next me would be intact after this kind of end was another issue.
Helplessness dragged my mind into a pit of despair.
-I'll preserve your brain separately...
I could see the palm—mocking human skin with its wax or silicone imitation—slowly approaching my head.
N-no... don't...
Just before the pale palm engulfed my face—
[Oppa! Wake up!]
Jia's voice echoed from somewhere... far away.
-Hmm...? This is... Shub-Niggurath's...? How do you, worm, already consort with Shub-Niggurath's lamb...?
"What... are you talking about..."
[Oppa! Oppa, wake up! Wake up!]
Jia's voice reached my ear like a ray of light.
Hastur seemed to perceive it too, reacting strangely.
-Oh... Ohhh... Ooooh...
Why was he suddenly like that?
-Blind and foolish father... Omniscient idiot... Could this insect truly be... yours...
His voice trembled with ecstasy, terror, rapture, jealousy, resignation—all at once.
Then Jia's voice rang out again.
[Oppa!! Oppa!!!]
ZZZT, ZZZZZT!
A hallucination like sparks in my brain, and two visions overlapped.
One: the alien planet and Hastur before me. The other: me standing blankly on the classroom magic circle, staring at the blackboard and Jia.
J-just a bit more... intense suggestion!
[Oppa, wake up! Wake up!! Wake up!!!]
ZZZT, CRACKLECRACKLE!!
"Guaaaaaah!"
As unimaginable agony wracked me, Hastur spoke calmly, uttering something incomprehensible.
-This time... I'll send you back... I won't revoke the Interstellar Wind blessing... Call me when the time comes... I'll aid you once.
Fuck that.
Call you after seeing what happened?
Like I'd voluntarily offer my mind and body.
As I glared at Hastur, biting my lip, Kang Jia's final voice boomed.
Oppa──────────!!!
Her voice echoed like in a cave, fading beautifully like an afterimage, accompanied by a massive whoosh.
WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!
Sucked into a typhoon, my vision went black.
THUD!