Z Apocalypse #3: The Cola That Ends the World
There was a time when the zombies spread without end. It was absolute chaos. The winter that year was brutally cold, too. But I had survived that hellscape. Which meant the perfect strategy for clearing the Z Apocalypse was locked inside my head.
“Seo Gaeul, I need to call your dad.”
Seo Docheol. That man could pull every social string he had to blast out nationwide emergency disaster alerts or force an emergency broadcast. It would at least slow the explosive spread of the infection!
Kya! This is exactly why a real man needs good in-laws!
Of course, Seo Gaeul looked horrified.
“You want me to call my dad?”
“Yeah. While we’re at it, let’s negotiate your ransom. I’ll treat you afterward. Cool?”
“So you’re just going to use the cure as a hostage and threaten me with it, you coward! Ha Namjin, you son of a bitch!”
Whoever was deliberately stirring up the zombie outbreak, they were going to fail spectacularly. All thanks to the flawless response of Ha Namjin—the smartest middle-school graduate on the planet!
I pulled out Seo Gaeul’s phone, the one I’d kept on me since the kidnapping. The moment it powered on they’d start tracking the location, so we didn’t have time to waste.
“Listen, choose your words carefully. Don’t mention me yet.”
Beep-beep—Tu-ru-ru-ru-ru—
The moment the ringing tone started, Seo Gaeul realized exactly who I was calling. Her face turned a zombie-like shade of blue and she began to panic.
“Hey! You’re really calling my dad? What the hell am I supposed to say?!”
I finally understood how those zombies felt when they tried to bite her. She was so adorable I wanted to nibble on her myself.
Seo Docheol stared at the graphs and poured the liquor down his throat in one go. Gulp, gulp. It had been a long time since his last drink. Three years since his wife’s death, so roughly three years, then.
「Seonam Group Stock Continues Plummeting!」
「Will the 30,000 Line Collapse? —」
「Worst Catastrophe Since the Company’s Founding!」
From 120,000 down to 30,000. Seonam Group’s stock had been cut in half and was now being shredded to rags. When he thought about the fact that all of this had been caused by a single high-schooler, his guts twisted and his stomach churned.
“Ha Namjin, that uneducated mutt. I should have strangled him to death the first time we met.”
Of course, the group’s crisis was temporary. They would overcome it somehow. After all, Seonam Group possessed technology secured from the Great Labyrinth.
When he thought of it that way, the corner of Seo Docheol’s mouth loosened just a little.
But—
In truth, Seo Docheol had an even bigger problem. His missing daughter, Seo Gaeul.
“My daughter…”
Just thinking of his daughter suffering somewhere made it impossible for him to calm down. The alcohol he hadn’t touched in years made tears well up in his eyes. It was the very picture of a middle-aged man’s crisis.
“Just stay alive and healthy. Please.”
If the unknown kidnapper had simply demanded money, his heart would have been lighter. He would have given any amount if it meant getting his daughter back. But the criminal didn’t want money.
Kidnapper’s Three Demands
1. Reveal all transaction records with Villains.
2. Release Zero Cola Fresh this week.
3. Change all beverage containers to glass bottles.
What the kidnapper wanted was probably the total collapse of ‘Seonam.’ He could even feel personal hatred and malice directed at Seo Docheol himself. Would someone like that really leave his daughter, Seo Gaeul, alone? Once their demands were met, they would surely violate her horribly and then kill her.
“You son of a bitch! My daughter hasn’t done anything wrong!”
Seo Docheol hurled curses into the empty air at the unknown criminal.
That was exactly when it happened.
—Dad, pick up!
A strange ringtone rang out. It felt like the alcohol evaporated from his system instantly. When he found his phone, the contact name “Princess” was glowing on the screen.
“Hello? Is that you, Gaeul? Seo Gaeul! It’s you, right?”
Seo Docheol pressed the phone to his ear, desperate to catch even the slightest trace of his daughter’s voice and warmth. After roughly thirty seconds of silence, he had regained his cold rationality as if the drunkenness from moments ago had been a lie.
I need to drag this call out as long as possible.
Seo Docheol was a master of cool-headed thinking. The moment he calmed himself, a small breath sounded through the receiver.
—Dad… it’s me.
“Seo Gaeul!”
—I can’t talk long.
Seo Gaeul had no idea what to say to the father she was calling for the first time in ages. Truthfully, she had never been an affectionate daughter. She had nothing to say. It had been roughly three years since she started keeping her father at arm’s length.
What the hell am I supposed to tell him? If you’re going to make me call, at least give me a damn script! Ha Namjin, you son of a bitch! I should just tell him everything.
She wanted to scream that she was being held by Ha Namjin, but if she did, that bastard would never give her any clues about the zombie cure. Seo Gaeul looked at the horribly mangled corpses on the floor. She didn’t want to die twisted and ugly like that.
“I can’t give you the details because he doesn’t like it, but I’m with Yu Yeoleum right now. At least I’m not lonely, so don’t worry about that.”
With that, Seo Gaeul took a small revenge on Ha Namjin. She hadn’t directly revealed his identity, but she had still leaked information in her own way.
Click.
The call ended.
“What? What’s going on! Seo Gaeul! What happened?!”
Chairman Seo Docheol tried calling his daughter again, but every attempt was immediately cut off. Just as his chilled blood began to boil again, a message arrived from his daughter’s messenger app.
「You must have confirmed your daughter’s survival from the call just now.」
「If you want her back, carry out the following contract conditions.」
「1. Within one hour, send an emergency broadcast and disaster alert containing the ‘Reference Information.’」
「2. Begin 1+1 promotions for Zero Cola Fresh starting tomorrow.」
「3. If the above conditions are not met, your daughter Seo Gaeul will be in danger.」
「Reference Information – Official national announcement of disaster situation due to zombie infection.」
「Content: The state hereby declares martial law effective immediately—」
Seo Docheol immediately realized this was the kidnapper’s message. He also understood it wasn’t a simple threat.
“You son of a bitch! I will rip you apart with my own hands!”
He quickly picked up his phone to carry out the kidnapper’s demands. At the same time, he kept replaying his daughter’s words in his head.
She’s with Yu Yeoleum? And the kidnapper doesn’t like her giving details?
Yu Yeoleum, the missing adopted daughter of opposition party leader Yu Dogwan. So she had been taken by the same perpetrator.
“To be able to kidnap both my daughter and Yu Yeoleum, the criminal must be a young, powerful Awakened. She referred to them as ‘that guy,’ so it’s a man. As expected of my daughter—she managed to convey so much information in such a short call.”
An insider who knew a lot about both Seonam Group and President Nam Taegeon. Someone with hatred and a desire for revenge against the masterminds of the N-Mart incident. An Awakened with an obsession toward Seo Gaeul.
In Seo Docheol’s mind, there was only one man who fit all those criteria.
“...Don’t tell me Nam Sanho is still alive. If that bastard is the one who kidnapped my daughter…”
Twitch.
A vein bulged on the usually cold Seo Docheol’s forehead. If Nam Sanho—who had President Nam Taegeon’s backing—was the kidnapper, no one would dare step forward.
If the kidnapper really is him, I might never get my daughter back. No one will help me. Unless there’s someone in this world who fears nothing…
Suddenly, Ha Namjin came to mind. If it was that mad dog who had bitten the witch Jin Eunbyeol until she was incapacitated, he wouldn’t be afraid no matter who the opponent was. That guy could definitely help Seo Docheol and take down the kidnapper.
The fact that he had to ask for help from the crazy dog Ha Namjin—who had bitten his arm and acted rudely—was more painful than death, but—
When he thought about it as something he had to do for his daughter’s safety, getting his knees a little dirty didn’t seem so bad.
Honestly, that Ha Namjin is different from the all-talk bastards these days. He actually shows results. To think he screwed over Jin Eunbyeol and those chaebols that badly.
Moreover, after causing all that chaos, he had walked out the front door of the police station and gone home like it was nothing. Insufficient evidence. He must have used some incredible magic.
Since I can’t predict him at all, it might actually be better to keep him close and watch him. If I give him enough money, maybe I can put him to use.
Seo Docheol decided to prepare a mountain of cash to sic the orphan Ha Namjin on the kidnapper. There wasn’t a person alive who hated money. Even Ha Namjin, who lived like he was fighting the world alone, would be the same.
“Well done. Though it would’ve been better if you hadn’t mentioned Yu Yeoleum.”
Crunch!
I stomped on the phone I’d taken from Seo Gaeul, smashing it to pieces. Seo Docheol’s side had probably already started tracking the location and dispatching troops, so it was best to get out of here quickly.
But Seo Gaeul clung to me like a debt collector who had lent out money.
“I cooperated with the call like you said. So tell me what the cure is.”
Seo Gaeul, who had been bitten by a zombie. If left like this, she would turn into an Awakened zombie within seven days.
“First, massage my shoulders.”
“What?”
“It’s a necessary step.”
Seo Gaeul frowned, clearly suspicious, but she still moved behind me and began massaging my shoulders. Her hands were surprisingly skilled.
“Ooh, that feels nice.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised. I thought you’d demand several billion won as my ransom from my dad. So you really didn’t kidnap me for money.”
“Money? What would I even spend it on? Besides, do you really think your value is only a few billion? Even several trillion wouldn’t be enough for your ransom, Seo Gaeul.”
“What? Are you complimenting me? My ransom being several trillion… I know I’m amazing, but honestly, isn’t that a bit much? Even Seonam’s brand value doesn’t reach a trillion.”
“Seo Gaeul, don’t underestimate your own worth. No matter how much money your dad brings, I will never let you go.”
“Hey, let me go already!”
Seo Gaeul shouted, her face bright red with anger.
“Now that your shoulders are loosened up, I’ll give you the cure.”
Swish—
I pulled a bottle of Zero Cola Fresh out from my lower region. For some reason, the moment Seo Gaeul saw it her expression filled with panic and irritation.
“Hey, why are you suddenly pulling out cola?! And where the hell did you take that from?!”
“Why? Because it’s the important cure, obviously. Here, open your mouth.”
“Wait, where did you take that—mmphhh!”
I shoved the cola bottle into Seo Gaeul’s mouth. Gulp, gulp. Of course she thrashed around like someone being forced to drink poison, but the ticklish, sweet cola had already filled her mouth completely.
“Puuuaaack! It tickles!”
Tsk tsk. To think she finds drinking carbonated soda ticklish. How is she going to survive in the ruined world later? There are so many ticklish things there.
Ten seconds later.
When I checked with my Emotion concept, the Zombie concept had completely disappeared from Seo Gaeul. The effect really was excellent!
“Cola is the cure?”
“To be precise, only Zero Cola Fresh works.”
“Same thing! Where in the world does something this insane happen?! Is this really the end?”
“It’s the end. You experienced it with your own body, so you know how effective it is.”
Seo Gaeul stared at me like she had witnessed a miraculous wonder. Then she shouted like a believer giving testimony.
“When you demanded that my dad release the cola, I just thought you were a crazy lunatic! But you predicted all of this would happen…?!”
“...You could say that.”
“Then why the hell did you make me massage your shoulders?! You said it was a necessary step!”
“That was just because I was bored.”
“You son of a—!!!”
Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep—!
「Widespread damage from infectious disease across all regions!」
「Please refrain from contact with others and outdoor activities!」
An emergency disaster alert! It was the response to the message I sent Seo Docheol. Soon after, the wail of sirens—Weeeeeng—echoed in the distance. They must have declared martial law. It was about six months earlier than I remembered.
On TV, an emergency broadcast arranged according to my ‘Reference Information’ was probably airing as well. The announcers would kindly explain that cola was the cure, right?
Originally, it would have taken quite some time before it was revealed that Zero Cola Fresh was exceptionally effective against the infection. But thanks to me, Ha Namjin, the discovery period had been reduced to the absolute minimum.
It was safe to say the zombie apocalypse had essentially ended. Last winter, not long after Zero Cola Fresh had been released, supplies were low and we suffered for it. This time was different. It was being released six months early and the stock was plentiful.
Of course, because of this incident the price of cola might skyrocket to around ten thousand won per bottle. Ten thousand won per bottle! For me, Ha Namjin, who loved drinks, that would be a tragedy!
But? If we suppressed the zombie outbreak early and quickly eliminated the mastermind behind it? The cola that would no longer need to be used as medicine would return to its normal price!
Truly the flawless plan befitting the greatest middle-school graduate. And it would serve as a massive counterattack against the ‘Zombie Main’ who had threatened the nation by saying tens of thousands would become infected.
“Masked bastard. You look good like this.”
The whole reason I had gone out today was to use Seo Gaeul’s strange senses to find the ‘Main.’ Since they had shown up first, we had saved a tremendous amount of time. Lucky me.
Seo Gaeul wiped the cola from the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand and spoke.
“Something’s been bothering me for a while. I think I know the identity of that Main. Who’s behind the mask. Where we can meet them.”
What?
As expected, Seo Gaeul was my goddess of luck!
“Euhuhuhu, come here!”
Unable to contain my joy, I pulled Seo Gaeul into my arms and sucked on her soft cheek.
Chuuuuuuuup—!
Receiving a kiss from the greatest among men—the Alpha Male. For women, it was the ultimate reward, wasn’t it?
Apparently my reward felt so good that Seo Gaeul screamed like an evil spirit being exorcised.
“Puuuaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!”