Normalizing the Rude Bitch! #1
After Ha Namjin left, Seo Gaeul and Yu Yeoleum each sank into deep thought. It was only when the ice in the cups he had brought them had completely melted, leaving the cola flat and lifeless, that Seo Gaeul finally managed to organize her thoughts.
“Is it paranoia? Or a delusion of persecution? He seems to have Ripley syndrome too. He keeps calling himself ‘Bread Pitt,’ and it wasn’t even a joke! Bread? That guy looks more like a steamed bun!”
“What are you suddenly talking about?” Yu Yeoleum asked cynically.
Thanks to the warm light radiating throughout the flower-filled room, Yu Yeoleum had regained quite a bit of her composure. She was back to her usual calm, cold demeanor. Seo Gaeul found it incredibly irritating that Yu Yeoleum could feel so relaxed in this room, but that wasn’t the important thing right now. What mattered were the insane things Ha Namjin had just said.
“I’m talking about Ha Namjin! He’s clearly mentally ill! I thought he was a crazy psychopath, but he’s just a plain old psycho! Saying half the world’s population is going to die within a year—what kind of nonsense is that?”
“So that’s what you were going on about.”
“You can check heart rate and pulse with that X-ray beam of yours, right? Did you scan him while he was talking?”
Just as Seo Gaeul said, Yu Yeoleum had already examined Ha Namjin using her Penetration concept.
“Body temperature, heart rate, pulse, blood pressure, breathing rate—everything was abnormally fast and hot.”
“See! He was lying! That’s why everything was off!”
“But Ha Namjin is usually like that. It’s his baseline. He always seems like he’s either excited or scared.”
In other words, Yu Yeoleum’s Penetration was useless against Ha Namjin, who existed in a permanent state of arousal. How could a person even be like that? Maybe it was a side effect of the concepts he possessed. As Yu Yeoleum was nodding to herself in understanding, Seo Gaeul started furiously scratching her head in frustration.
“So he really is just a crazy lunatic!”
Half the population would be wiped out in less than a year. And the reason? Monsters that would tear through the earth, sea, and sky? Yu Yeoleum recalled the Three Disasters monsters Ha Namjin had mentioned. He hadn’t given proper explanations, but they sounded like the kind of absurd creatures that would only appear in a child’s wild delusions.
“His goal is to train you so you can defeat those monsters. At least now we know why he’s trying to train you. That’s something, I suppose.”
“How am I supposed to defeat monsters that only exist inside a mental patient’s delusions?”
Seo Gaeul was furious. She had assumed Ha Namjin kidnapped her to get revenge for the N-Mart arson incident. Since she had been tormented by guilt over that event herself, she had even been prepared to offer him a sincere apology if that was what he wanted.
But what Ha Namjin wanted wasn’t an apology. He hadn’t even asked about the N-Mart incident.
Yu Yeoleum spoke up. “It’s common for people who’ve suffered severe trauma to develop mental illnesses. Maybe that’s what happened to Ha Namjin. It’s possible. The reason I can’t eat food is similar.”
Slurrrrp—. Watching Yu Yeoleum calmly sip her strawberry milk through a straw, Seo Gaeul felt her irritation spike.
“Why are you so relaxed about this? Don’t you get that a crazy psycho has us locked up? He might suddenly declare that our baby is the key to saving the world and try to knock you up!”
“You and Ha Namjin are equally delusional.”
“Aaaaaaaaagh!”
The Chastity concept that Seo Gaeul had forced upon Yu Yeoleum like a pair of shackles had, on the surface, helped the other girl regain her composure. But Seo Gaeul herself hadn’t realized that fact. So she simply continued to throw a tantrum.
I’m curious who is making noise over there…!
This is the Princess’s room, a place no one is allowed to enter…!
I wonder if the Princess has finally returned…!
A voice echoed from the ceiling.
Both Yu Yeoleum and Seo Gaeul shut their mouths instantly. It was the first time their completely incompatible hearts had ever been in perfect sync.
“…Yu Yeoleum, did you hear that just now?”
“I heard it. A girl’s voice. Sounds like a child’s.”
Rattle—. Soon after, the sound of what seemed like a small window opening came from the ceiling, and a pair of honey-colored eyes and a tiny face appeared. Only now did they all realize there had been a very small secret window hidden in the ceiling.
Oh no—! There are strange Kore in the Princess’s room…!
This Inonoi thought the Princess had returned and got so excited, but now I’m very disappointed…!
Rattle—. The window closed again.
The hair on Seo Gaeul’s head stood on end.
“Hey! Hey hey! Hey hey hey! Wait! Wait a second! Just wait! Hey! Hey hey hey!”
As Seo Gaeul flailed in panic, Yu Yeoleum seemed to realize something. “Inonoi… Joynoi… Could it be…!?” she muttered before shouting toward the ceiling.
“Wait! We have candy! Candy!”
Rattle—.
I’m curious if that’s true…!
This Inonoi loves candy…!
When the Princess was here, I used to eat it often, but I haven’t seen any for the past few years…!
The strange girl Inonoi revealed herself once again through the secret window in the ceiling. The only problem was that neither Seo Gaeul nor Yu Yeoleum actually had any candy.
There was only one way.
Yu Yeoleum looked at Seo Gaeul.
###
Aaaaaah—.
With my mouth wide open, I sucked in the fried eggs one by one. At that moment, I was the walking apocalypse for eggs. Even one of the Three Disasters monsters that had swallowed half the world’s population like peanuts would have probably backed off if they saw the way I was devouring these eggs.
Slurp slurp, slurp slurp—.
I had just finished inhaling five fried eggs without even pausing for breath when—
━Ing-ing-ya-ing.
Ing-ing, who had been peeling a boiled egg beside me, wiggled its body and spoke up. That little slime really loves to nag.
“It’s fine. We still have time. And I might be home late today, so if you get hungry, just order jajangmyeon like last time. If there’s any sweet and sour pork left, put it in the fridge! If you understand, say ‘Ing~’!”
━Grrrr…!
Looked like today it was planning to order malatang instead of jajangmyeon. Lately Ing-ing had become completely addicted to delivery food, which was becoming a serious problem. Money was pouring out of my wallet like water. It used to be happy with just ketchup ramen! Now it had developed a high-class palate.
Anyway, off to the Great Labyrinth!
When I arrived at the Great Labyrinth, Team Leader Jang Hyun-ah slammed a stamp onto my test sheet.
“This is the third day. This marks the end of your Great Labyrinth exploration exam.”
It was the moment I achieved a perfect score on the midterm. Baek Yeoul’s sheet received the same treatment.
“This is the first time I’ve ever gotten a perfect score on a test! Awesome!”
Doom-chit doom-chit—.
Baek Yeoul, aka Ppang-daeng-i, was shaking her bread-like butt and doing some bizarre victory dance. After killing time like that for the rest of the afternoon—
“Ha Namjin. Jin Eunbyeol’s birthday party is today.”
Jang Hyun-ah whispered quietly into my ear. Today, instead of playing around with Ppang-daeng-i and slipping away, my goal was to head straight to Jin Eunbyeol’s birthday party, approach Wang Jayeon, smack him upside the head, and squeeze some information out of him. With the intel I extracted, I could give Seo Docheol of the Seonam Group a good beating, which would hopefully lower a ladder for me to climb even higher.
It was a truly perfect plan.
With that thought in mind, I headed toward the Samjin Group villa where the party was being held. But when I saw the long line of people waiting to get in at the entrance, I felt dizzy.
“Why are there so many people? There must be at least a hundred.”
“They’re all either big shots or the children of big shots.”
Of course! Every single one of them looked like the type who held important positions. There was even a white-haired grandmother who noticed me and greeted me like we were old friends.
“Hey, kid! I saw you in the newspaper. Was it Sang Namjin? The high school student who beat up all those bad people!”
“Grandma, if you ever have someone you don’t like, just tell this Ha Namjin right here.”
Wow, I was being quite the gentleman. Right?
But then Jang Hyun-ah suddenly started slapping my back like she was having a seizure and whispered urgently in my ear.
“This lady is a very famous landowner in Korea! She’s a major creditor who even lends money to the chairmen of big corporations! Hurry up and greet her properly again!”
If it were bottle caps, maybe, but money and land weren’t enough to move my heart. As I was rubbing my chin in mild confusion, the rich grandmother laughed warmly.
“You’re so energetic, I like that. I made some candy myself—would you like to try one? Making candy and chocolate became my little hobby in my old age.”
It was a luxurious candy wrapped in gold leaf. I crunched through the wrapper with a loud crunch crunch, which made the grandmother like me even more.
“Hehe, how fun. Namjin, did you come to have your fortune told too? Eunbyeol is very good at reading fates. My grandson has been very sick, so I wanted to ask how he can get better… But I wonder if my turn will even come…”
She was a princess who could make even elderly people roll up their sleeves and come running. From what I heard, some people had been waiting since the day before.
I really wanted to meet her soon. Just how good was her fortune-telling that all these important figures were lining up like this? If I asked who I was going to marry or about my love life, would she answer?
After waiting on the street for about an hour, I started getting really bored and thought about checking my phone when Jang Hyun-ah explained.
“Just so you know, cell phones are banned inside the Samjin villa, so keep that in mind. Especially in front of Jin Eunbyeol—do not take pictures with your phone. Absolutely. Under no circumstances. Got it?”
“What happens if I do?”
“Just don’t do it.”
Telling me not to do something only made me want to do it more. At that exact moment, someone started waving their hand wildly.
“Ha Namjjiin!”
“N-Namjin-ah.”
“Isn’t that Ppang-daeng-i and Deok-soon?”
Why were Ppang-daeng-i and Deok-soon at Jin Eunbyeol’s birthday party? Before I could ask, the villa entrance swung open and people began flooding inside.
“Let’s go!”
“Hurry up and get in!”
“Stop pushing!”
In the end, I got swept away by the crowd and lost sight of Ppang-daeng-i and Deok-soon. After wandering around the garden for about ten minutes with nothing to show for it, someone appeared on a high terrace.
“Thank you all for coming.”
A woman in a pitch-black evening dress with long, flowing black hair. Her snow-white skin, jet-black eyebrows, and dark eyes created a striking contrast. Black and white. If you were to paint a woman using only those two colors, this was what you’d get.
“That’s Jin Eunbyeol.”
“…It’s Jin Eunbyeol.”
Everyone looked up at her with subtly fearful eyes. It was the same expression one might have when facing the Queen of Darkness or the Goddess of Death.
So that was Jin Eunbyeol. Just judging by her aura alone, she surpassed both Yu Yeoleum and Seo Gaeul.
“I apologize to all of you who came from far away, but I will be ending the party here. Please go home. I will not be meeting anyone today.”
“What?”
“What is she saying?”
The crowd began to murmur. The party was ending the moment it began.
“I will not repeat myself. Everyone, leave.”
Jin Eunbyeol spoke in a cold, clear voice. An eerie atmosphere swept through the garden, and the people, as if sensing something ominous, began pushing each other’s backs as they hurriedly fled the party venue.
“Ha Namjin, it looks like today’s a bust. This happens often. Jin Eunbyeol is always capricious and makes things difficult for people. But I kept my promise, right? You’ll delete the video?”
“……”
What caught my eye was the rich grandmother who had given me candy. She kept looking back with a disappointed expression. It seemed she was quite reluctant to leave like this.
Honestly, I was pissed.
“You invite people whose time is valuable and then send them away without even offering a glass of water? Where the hell did you learn such terrible manners! Just because you’re the daughter of a chaebol family, you think you can do whatever you want? Huh?!”
My voice, powered by the five fried eggs I had devoured, rang out loudly across the banquet hall. Of course, Jang Hyun-ah’s face turned even paler, looking like she might faint from shock.
“Hey, what the… what are you doing! Are you crazy?”
“…Who just spoke?”
Jin Eunbyeol tilted her head with an expressionless face. I raised both hands high and declared,
“I am the Tiger of Youngsa High, Ha Namjin! Wang Jayeon, Jin Eunbyeol! You rude pair of bastards! I’ll give you ten seconds, so both of you get your asses over here right now! Ten! Niiiiine—!!”