Strong Women Usually Have a Weakness #2
A week had passed since the news of Yeomra's death broke. In that time, my daily life had more or less settled into a stable rhythm. If there was anything noteworthy, it was that Deoksoon and Taeseong had grown surprisingly close after attending that rock singer's concert in Korea together.
“Deokhee, I listened to that musical you recommended yesterday, Death Notebook. It was really good. Got any other songs to recommend? Something I can listen to during my convenience store part-time shift.”
“R-Radiohead’s ‘Creep’ is an absolute must. The lyrics where he mocks himself in front of his unrequited crush, calling himself a weirdo and a nobody… that part’s especially great.”
It seemed like a relationship had formed where the knowledgeable Deoksoon would recommend music or movies to Taeseong, and he would watch or listen and give feedback. Whenever the quiet, well-behaved Deoksoon and the self-proclaimed voluntary loner Taeseong talked, they looked like they’d detached from the noisy chaos of Class D and entered their own little world.
The problem was with Ppangdaeng-i.
“Ppangdaeng, why are your eyes so wide?”
“Deoksoon and Taeseong seem to be getting closer and closer, but there’s no real progress. I wish Deoksoon would muster up just a tiny bit more courage. Don’t you think so too?”
It looked like Ppangdaeng thought Deoksoon had a one-sided crush on Taeseong. And the members of our Clean Plate Club apparently felt obligated to help the two lovebirds along.
“Is there any way we can help Deoksoon’s love life?”
“Why bother? We’re not Cyrano. Ppangdaeng, why don’t you focus on helping me get closer to Seo Gaeul instead? Like what kind of food she likes, what movies she enjoys—stuff like that. You don’t know any of it?”
Ppangdaeng and I had a mutually beneficial contract. If I teamed up with her in group projects so she could get good grades, she would feed me information to raise Seo Gaeul’s favorability toward me.
Lately, I was seriously going insane because of Seo Gaeul. I couldn’t tell if she’d forgotten she’d been kidnapped or what, but her demands just kept increasing—this, that, the other thing. It felt like she was constantly testing my limits. Just a few days ago she’d thrown a tantrum for a whole hour demanding I “do a cat impression.”
My concept manifestation hadn’t made any progress or gains since Path either.
“Back in elementary school,” Baek Yeoul said. “I once ate all the apples, and she got super mad. Seo Gaeul really likes apples. But does that kind of info even matter now that she’s missing?”
I handed the cleanly washed lunchbox to a tilting-headed Baek Yeoul.
“The lunch yesterday was delicious. The rolled omelet was a bit salty though.”
“The rolled omelet was salty? No way.”
These days, Baek Yeoul packed me a lunchbox every single day. I was giving those lunches to Seo Gaeul, of course, and keeping it a complete secret from Baek Yeoul. In this latest box, Seo Gaeul had judged the rolled omelet as too salty. I passed that feedback along to Baek Yeoul as if it were my own opinion, and she would reflect it in the next lunchbox. That cycle had become my new normal.
These were such trivial days that it was hard to believe a massive incident had occurred just a few days earlier. But this peace would soon come to an end.
Why? Because it was time to start preparing to kidnap Yu Yeoleum.
“Hey, Ha-Nam-jjin!” Ppangdaeng poked my side.
“We’re still friends from now on, right?”
“Soulmates for life.”
“But if Seo Gaeul doesn’t come back like this…”
“Seo Gaeul?”
“…N-no, never mind!”
What the hell? What a half-assed reaction. Especially after making the rolled omelet salty.
After school, on the final day of in-school volunteer work.
I was picking up trash scattered around campus with Yu Yeoleum.
“……”
“……”
Yu Yeoleum was usually a woman of few words. When silence settled between us, I didn’t force myself to speak either. After staying quiet for a while, she would usually be the one to speak first, as if she’d finished organizing her thoughts.
“Still keeping up with your hobby?”
“Hobby?”
“Watching porn at the house next door.”
So she was talking about that. This is the problem with lying. One lie requires two more lies to maintain it, and those two require four more.
“I watch it every day.”
“Every day?”
At my answer, Yu Yeoleum’s mouth formed a perfect little ‘o’ in what looked like genuine surprise. When she then stared at me with wary eyes like I was some kind of pervert, I decided to reveal one of the great secrets that only men know.
“Every single guy you know is probably watching it every single day. The instructors at our school, the boys in your class, every man you pass on the street.”
“……”
Yu Yeoleum looked completely unconvinced. I probably had that exact same face when I found out Santa wasn’t real.
“Is that normal for guys?”
“Pretty much. Most girls watch it too.”
“Girls too? That’s normal?”
I could see worry clouding over Yu Yeoleum’s face. Another brief silence followed. The quiet stretched on until the condensation from the drink cans we’d bought to have after volunteering had thoroughly soaked the table.
“If I want to live like a normal person… do I have to watch it too?”
“It wouldn’t hurt.”
“Then… do you have any recommendations?”
“What’s your taste like?”
“Taste?” Yu Yeoleum’s eyebrows shot up. “I don’t know. I’ve never watched any before.”
What? Never? So there really was a living, breathing, pure maiden like a national treasure.
Suddenly I became curious about her preferences.
“Then what do you usually do at home? Got any hobbies?”
“Just training. Or watching squirrels.”
“Watching squirrels?”
“Squirrel YouTube videos. They’re cute.”
She was as tough as steel, but surprisingly had a girlish side to her heart. Honestly, I liked squirrels too. The way they scamper around is super cute, and they taste great when fried. There aren’t many animals that delight both the eyes and the palate like that.
The volunteer hours ended with that kind of atmosphere. Thinking that this might be the last time I could meet Yu Yeoleum and exchange information made me feel a little regretful. Now I’d have to figure out what excuse to use to see her next.
As I was thinking that, Yu Yeoleum spoke.
“Want to come over to my house today?”
Yu Yeoleum had invited me to her home.
“Why?”
“I thought normal people probably invite friends over. You and your group members seem to visit each other’s houses often. For some reason, everyone around me finds me difficult to approach.”
That’s understandable. Hanging out with a girl who shoots lasers from her eyes must feel like living next to an unpredictable Rodong missile that could go off at any moment.
So Seo Gaeul really wants me to kidnap a girl like this and keep her by her side?
That’s how I ended up following Yu Yeoleum all the way to the apartment where she lived. Knowing where your target lives is basic common sense for any kidnapper.
“Yeoreum, you’re back. Did you bring a friend?”
“Yes. We’re going up.”
It was a luxury apartment with a security guard stationed on the first floor at all times. The kind of place that probably served elegant breakfasts in the on-site restaurant every morning. Yu Yeoleum lived on the top floor—the 21st. When the elevator doors opened, it turned out the entire floor was her home.
“Is no one home? Can we just go in?”
“Put on the indoor slippers over there.”
I slipped on the unusually fluffy indoor slippers and stepped inside. A large photo hung in the living room. It showed Yu Yeoleum sitting in a chair with a man standing behind her, hands on her shoulders.
“Is that your dad? His face looks familiar. Was he a famous National Assembly member?”
“Probably.”
I’d asked while pretending not to know, but Yu Yeoleum didn’t seem particularly interested in talking about her father. She simply walked straight into her room. I followed behind her, thinking to myself.
Since it’s Yu Yeoleum’s room, it’s probably packed with barbells, dumbbells, and a punching bag, right? The floor must be covered in jiu-jitsu mats.
With those expectations, I entered the room—and the moment I saw colorful plush dolls scattered everywhere, my mind went completely astral.
Even Ppangdaeng’s room, which had been dyed pink from hair dye, probably wasn’t this girly. The fact that the room of Yu Yeoleum—the toughest, most steel-like female high schooler— was filled with so many ‘Pokémon’ was utterly shocking.
Yu Yeoleum sat down at her chair without caring whether I was looking at the dolls or not, turned on the computer, and said,
“How do you watch this thing called porn?”
Is this for real?
Yu Yeoleum asked the question in her usual blunt, cool voice. For a second I even suspected this might be a trap to lure me in.
I suddenly became curious.
“Why do you suddenly want to watch porn?”
“Because I’ve never seen it before. You’re the only person around me who’s ever brought this up.”
I’ve never seen it, so I want to—that was some impressively simple logic. I could respect that.
In that spirit, I downloaded Perfect Education from my internet cloud storage and played it for her.
“Ahhhng, aah-.”
The explicit sounds and flesh tones had just begun their exchange when—
Ziiiing—!
A blazing hot beam flew in from somewhere and punched a clean hole right through the center of the monitor. Staring at the donut-shaped wreckage, I stumbled backward in panic.
“Whoa! Fuck, what the hell!”
Crash! Thud!
In my desperate struggle for survival, my elbow accidentally slammed into Yu Yeoleum’s face.
“…Ugh.”
Yu Yeoleum hurriedly covered her eyes with her hands.
“I didn’t do that on purpose. What the…? This has never happened before.”
From her attitude, it didn’t seem like she’d intentionally fired the beam at the monitor. Beneath her covering palms, her cheeks were flushed bright red—impossible to miss. A trickle of blood ran from her nose, probably from my elbow strike.
Name: Yu Yeoleum
Possesses: Expand to view details ☜
《???》 – Your Emotion level is too low to view this.
《Photosynthesis Lv.2》 – Possesses photosynthesis ability comparable to a dead tree.
Status: 《Tension and Embarrassment》 – Feeling overwhelmed by unfamiliar experiences and atmosphere. Panicking because she cannot control her ability. Also hungry.
It seemed Yu Yeoleum herself was flustered by what had just happened. I could sense through my Emotion that her usually cynical, cool voice was trembling ever so slightly.
“So Yeoreum, you shoot lasers when you get excited, huh? That can happen. In my case, when I get excited my tailbone gets rock hard. The front tail, that is.”
“This is the first time I’ve ever had a nosebleed in my life. Ah, it stopped.”
From that experience, I had finally figured out the weakness Seo Gaeul had been trying to tell me about!
Yu Yeoleum’s weakness was definitely porn!
While watching it, she couldn’t control her ability. That’s why even my blind elbow strike had made her nose bleed.
The Yu Yeoleum kidnapping plan, which had seemed completely stalled, had suddenly made massive progress. All sorts of good ideas were flooding into my head.
Conclusion: The kidnapping of Yu Yeoleum would happen tonight.
Clunk. Creeeeak—
Right then, the apartment door opened and a man strode inside.
“Yeoreum, I’m home. What was that noise—?”
He headed straight for Yu Yeoleum’s room. When he saw the monitor that was still playing moans despite being broken, the blood-stained bed, Yu Yeoleum, and me, he frowned deeply.
“Who the hell are you?”
He looked ready to lunge at me any second. Cursing right from the first meeting? What an rude bastard.
I shot back without backing down.
“I’m Ha Namjin, the man who watched Yu Yeoleum’s first porn with her and made her bleed for the first time! Who the hell are you?”
“What? What did you just say? F-first time bleeding? I’m Yeoreum’s older brother, you son of a bitch!!!!”
Crash!
The man leaped at me like a starving tiger. As a proud alpha male who never avoids a fight that comes his way, I lightning-kicked him right in the groin.
“Namjin Kick!”
“GRAAAAAAGH!”