The Villains the Hero Is Obsessed With #4
“Ha-Nam-jjin! Look at this! It’s a collapsed house!”
With a frantic patter of feet, Ppang-daeng-i Baek Yeoul darted into the crumbling abandoned building.
“Where are you, you bastards! Are you in here? Here? Where are you hiding!”
Rustle, rustle. She yanked open a cabinet, pulled out a cracked cup, and giggled like a lunatic. It didn’t look like she was entirely sane. She had no idea what might jump out at her, yet she shoved her way inside like a raccoon that hadn’t eaten for days tearing up a field.
Lately, whenever I looked at Ppang-daeng-i, she gave off this slightly floaty, unhinged vibe. Kids like her were definitely going to cause an accident someday. Guess it was up to me to step in.
“Hey Ppang-daeng-i, back when I was in elementary school, some high-school hyung suddenly tried to rob me. It happened in an alley between places just like these abandoned houses.”
“Out of nowhere, what are you even talking about?”
“The guy said to me, ‘Hey kid, you got any money?’ So I told him I did. Then he went, ‘Hand it all over.’ I answered politely, ‘Okay.’”
At the time, I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a carrot knife instead of cash. A folding carrot knife.
“I named it Nanatsuyoru. I swung it at that high-school hyung.”
“…A carrot knife?”
“I was crazy back then. And now I’m a high-schooler. No elementary kids dare approach me anymore.”
“Wait, we were searching abandoned houses and you suddenly start telling this story?”
“The important lesson is that for an elementary kid to take on a high-schooler, you need something at least on the level of Nanatsuyoru. You’re an elementary kid, Ppang-daeng-i, and the bad guys you’re looking for are high-school level.”
“…So what you’re saying is that charging at bad guys would be reckless, so I should remember this is an ‘investigation’ and not a ‘subjugation,’ right? You were worried about me.”
Baek Yeoul scratched the back of her pink head with an embarrassed little smile, as if she’d understood my meaning. But that wasn’t what I meant at all. She had completely missed the actual lesson of the story I’d just told her.
“The point is, to beat a high-schooler we need to find our own Nanatsuyoru. Look at this table leg. If we break it off, don’t you think it’d make a decent baseball bat?”
Crack!
I kicked the table hard enough to shatter it, then ripped the leg free with a wet snap like tearing a chicken drumstick from samgyetang. The rusty nails jutting out made it look perfect as a weapon.
Whoosh, whoosh. Nice swinging weight, too.
“If this hits someone, even Buddha’s grandma would get tetanus for sure. Since we’re exploring anyway, let’s look for useful stuff like this. Remember, humans are tool-using animals.”
“T-tool! I get it now! Okay, Ha-Nam-jjin!”
Only then did a proper sense of purpose finally enter Ppang-daeng-i’s eyes, like she truly understood. She still had a long way to go before becoming a proper recyclable junk collector, but I could see the potential sprouting. Still, the thing that had been bothering me since earlier remained unresolved.
“By the way, Ppang-daeng-i, I’ve been curious this whole time—what the hell is ‘Ha-Nam-jjin’ supposed to mean?”
“Th-that?”
Baek Yeoul’s face flushed bright red and she fidgeted, twisting her whole body like a caterpillar trying to burrow back into its cocoon. She probably realized how embarrassing her own behavior was.
“You can’t just arbitrarily change someone’s name. My parents gave me the name Ha Namjin, you know? Calling me something else is rude, Ppang-daeng-i.”
Baek Yeoul’s face crumpled.
“Hey, that might be true, but you’re the last person who should be saying it! You started calling me Ppang-daeng-i first! You’re the one arbitrarily renaming everyone!”
“But you are Ppang-daeng-i.”
“I am not! I’m Baek Yeoul!”
“What kind of ‘Yeoul’ even is that? Or is it pure Korean without hanja?”
“…Huh? That’s… what was it again…”
“See? Ppang-daeng-i is correct.”
“No it’s not! Then you’re Ha-Nam-jjin! That’s plenty! Got it? And for this investigation, I’ll be the one carrying us, so you can throw your pride away, Ha-Nam-jjin! Just follow me!”
Screeech.
After spouting all that nonsense, Baek Yeoul grabbed a frying pan from nearby. It looked wide, sturdy, and genuinely useful.
“Whoa, that frying pan looks pretty good.”
“Right? This is my Bad Luck Rod from now on! My weapon!”
“Bad Luck Rod? Sounds like the name of a trot singer who’s really good at night events.”
“A stick that brings misfortune when it hits you! That’s why it’s Bad Luck Rod!”
Except it wasn’t a stick, it was a frying pan. Shouldn’t it be Bad Luck Frying Pan? The more I looked at Ppang-daeng-i, the weirder she got.
Anyway, that was how our morning investigation ended. The only real gain was Ppang-daeng-i obtaining her Bad Luck Rod. Honestly, even I had to admit the thing looked tempting. The more useful tools, the better.
That line of thought naturally led me to grow interested in the so-called Bogu stored in the academy’s treasure vault. Concept-infused Bogu! Just owning one would be incredibly convenient and reassuring.
While thinking that, I figured it was about time for lunch and was texting everyone when some old man called out to us.
“Students, hold on a second!”
He was wearing an extremely worn blue jacket and jeans, both covered in paint stains, with a scruffy beard. He looked like a homeless person, or maybe just a suspicious one.
“Students, hold on a second!”
At the old man’s shout, Baek Yeoul thrust her Bad Luck Rod forward and immediately went on guard. The man let out a hearty laugh.
“You kids from Youngsa High, right? My son goes there too. You remind me of my own kids, so I’ll say it—you shouldn’t be rummaging through these abandoned houses like this.”
Only then did I notice the handcart behind him, piled high with junk. A fellow collector? He definitely gave off the aura of a master. So this was probably his territory, and he was warning us brats not to touch anything.
“I’ve seen some suspicious people hanging around this neighborhood lately. If you keep poking around empty houses, you might get hurt.”
Suspicious people? My interest instantly flared.
“Old master, where exactly did you see these suspicious individuals? What made them seem suspicious?”
“Old master? I’m not that old. Anyway, they looked shady at a glance. Dyed their hair flashy colors and wandered around in the middle of the night. I can tell they’re not from around here.”
Since the guy hauled around that massive handcart, his eye for people seemed trustworthy. If he said someone was suspicious, they probably were.
“Could you guide us to where you saw them?”
“Well…”
The old man hesitated. At that moment, Changsik and Deokhui approached from the distance.
“……”
“……”
Both of them looked quite startled by the grimy old man’s appearance. The old man glanced at us, started to say something, then simply warned, “You kids be careful not to get hurt. Get out of here before the sun sets,” before laboriously dragging his handcart up the steep slope.
Creak, creak. Hauling a handcart loaded with scrap up such a steep incline was hard work even for a grown man. Oh Deokhui watched and let out a small sigh.
“He looks like he’s struggling so much… should we help?”
The old man soon reached the nearby trash pile, bowed his head, and began salvaging usable items. He didn’t care that he was getting filthy; his eyes sparkled as if the random junk were treasures. Only Changsik subtly looked away from the sight.
I whispered so only Changsik could hear.
“Changsik, is that your father?”
“…!”
Changsik flinched violently. Baek Yeoul and Oh Deokhui both shut their mouths and watched the situation carefully. Finally, Changsik let out a deep sigh.
“Just as my friend said… Honestly, I was too embarrassed to tell you. He’s doing dirty, filthy work. I never thought we’d run into him here… He didn’t say anything weird to you, did he…?”
“Changsik, do you know what a hero is?”
“…A hero? You mean the graduates of Youngsa High?”
“In my opinion, a hero is someone who steps up to do the things others hate most. In that sense, your father deserves to be called a hero.”
“……”
“Not only that, he’s giving new purpose to resources that were thrown away to die meaningless deaths. Your father is truly a great man. We should all strive to become like him.”
The old master’s greatness was on par with the future Seo Gaeul. No, to be honest, maybe a tiny bit below her—but the fact that he could even be compared to her in my mind proved just how incredible his manliness was. Even a silver medal is impressive.
“……”
Changsik seemed lost in deep thought, his gaze shifting around for a long time. Then, as if making a firm resolution, he clenched his fist and shouted.
“…Father!”
He sprinted up the steep slope in one go. The boy easily pushed his father’s heavy handcart the rest of the way up.
“━─.”
“─.”
The two of them seemed to talk about something afterward, but I couldn’t hear the contents.
“Sorry! Did everyone wait long?”
When Changsik came back down, his face was covered in dust, but the anxiety and worry from earlier had been completely washed away. His expression was bright.
“Father gave me money to buy you all dinner. I’ll treat everyone tonight. He also said we must never go to the 3rd district where the old factory is.”
He gave us dinner money? Nice! Free meal! And he said not to go near the 3rd district? There had to be a reason for that warning. A father’s worry for his son, probably. The old master knew Changsik was an Awakened, yet he still worried. That meant…
“There’s something in the 3rd district near the abandoned factory—”
“Could it be the villains…!?”
This time, Ppang-daeng-i Baek Yeoul showed surprisingly quick and accurate comprehension. The information we’d been desperately searching for had come from Changsik’s father.
“We’re lucky.”
“It’s all thanks to me, right?”
Baek Yeoul puffed out her chest. Honestly, Ppang-daeng-i hadn’t done anything. Before the sun set, we headed for the 3rd district where the abandoned factory stood.
The rusty buildings loomed with both grandeur and desolation, reminding me of a poem by O. Mandias. That was when we spotted a suspicious figure loitering outside the factory complex.
“Isn’t that the praying mantis guy?”
“Sama Jun. Wang Ja-hyun’s lackey!”
Just as Baek Yeoul said, it was Sama Jun, Wang Ja-hyun’s underling. Why was he here? While I was turning the strange situation over in my head, a man with long hair dyed bright red like an outdated rocker burst out of the factory, slung an arm around Sama Jun’s shoulder, and dragged him away.
Everyone else kept quiet, clearly having no idea who the man was. But an old memory I’d long forgotten flashed through my mind like lightning.
“That guy is ‘Yeomra.’”
“My friend, if you mean ‘Yeomra,’ are you referring to the N-Mart arsonist Yeom Hun? Which would mean…”
The enemy who killed my parents. The specially wanted criminal, Yeom Hun! To think I’d meet him here today of all days!
“Everyone, looks like we’re canceling the investigation mission.”
Subjugation! It was definitely time for subjugation! I was going to snap that bastard’s neck like a twig!