Carbon Unnie, Where Did Your Glasses Go?

BurntCowIsCarbon.

Two days later, I was back at the Association. As I killed time in the lobby scrolling through the Tower Gallery, a familiar red-haired woman came walking toward me from across the hall.

The familiar dark circles. The plush caffeine pouches.

But for some reason, something about her image seemed different. I stared up at her for a good long while, then murmured like the world was ending.

"The chicken coop... it's gone...?"

"That's the first thing you say to me when we meet?"

Thwack!

She smacked me right on the crown of my head with the tablet she was carrying. Undeterred, I kept staring at Hong Yeon-hwa with an expression of pure disbelief.

"No... this can't be... my Carbon unnie would never..."

"What on earth is your problem? And shouldn't it be 'unnie' and not 'noona'?"

Exasperated by my continued nonsense, Hong Yeon-hwa asked with a look of utter incomprehension. From her perspective, it was pretty absurd — a bratty little kid she'd met two days ago was suddenly denying her entire identity.

But from mine, there was nothing I could do about it. Because...

"Your glasses are gone..."

Hong Yeon-hwa wasn't wearing her glasses. Her hair wasn't tied up in a sloppy bun either — it was down.

Swoosh.

Combine those elements with that obscenely enormous caffeine pouch, and for some reason a violent aura of office-lady femininity came radiating off her in waves. In fact, the male staff members in the lobby were stealing glances at her every single time they walked past.

Even though she was their boss, they couldn't help but be helpless before a pretty woman. I don't know why, but it felt like I was losing something. A persistent sense of deprivation, you could call it...

Meanwhile, Hong Yeon-hwa looked at my tattered clothes and asked, puzzled.

"What's wrong with your clothes?"

"This? Well, in the Tower, things got a little... haha."

"...Right, your difficulty is what it is. Do you have any other clothes?"

"No."

"What?"

At the news that I had no spare clothes, Hong Yeon-hwa immediately scanned me from head to toe and muttered to herself.

"Maybe I should buy her some clothes later..."

"......"

For some reason, that sounded dangerously ominous. I quickly cut off her muttering and changed the subject.

"S-so, I heard you cleared Floors 2 and 20...??"

"Ah, yeah, yeah. That's why I called you, right?"

Hong Yeon-hwa glanced around nervously for a moment, then awkwardly scratched her cheek and offered her thanks.

"W-well... um... th-thanks..."

Was thanking someone that embarrassing? A bright red flush had risen on her usual aloof face. Seeing her like that, a mischievous streak welled up in me, and I asked, grinning sleazily.

"For what? What exactly should I be thanked for?"

"The... the candy. I only managed to clear Floor 20 because of it..."

"Ohhh~ is that sooo~"

"......"

With every bit of my teasing, Hong Yeon-hwa's face flushed redder and redder, like it was about to burst. Her flushed ears had gotten so red that you couldn't tell their color apart from her hair.

Finally unable to bear the embarrassment, Hong Yeon-hwa fumbled a small box out of her pocket with trembling hands and shoved it toward me.

"...Here."

"What's this?"

"Payment."

"Heh heh... those tsundere-type heroines don't work on people these days, you know?"

"Shut up and just take it!"

"Yes ma'am."

She looked about one tease away from spamming magic at me, so I had no choice but to accept the box.

Clatter!

When I opened the box, there were ten small glass vials inside. About the size of those mini star-candy bottles they sell at stationery stores — but what filled them wasn't candy. It was liquid, sloshing gently inside.

Five bottles of red liquid, five of blue.

Seeing them, I couldn't resist cracking a joke.

"This is the political color split..."

"It is NOT!!"

"No wonder ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you're a public official — exactly fifty-fifty."

"Hoo... What am I going to do with this unhinged little brat..."

It was a joke, of course. There was no government inside the Tower right now. It was basically in a state of anarchy, so you could say it was immune to political jokes? Even the Association, the closest thing to a public authority, didn't have much real binding power.

Hong Yeon-hwa sighed and explained the vials in the box.

"They might not look like much, but these are the ones that are hard to get these days—"

"I know. They're potions, aren't they?"

"...What. How?"

Naturally — my job is alchemist. Wouldn't it be weirder if I *couldn't* recognize something that looked exactly like a potion?

Pa-at!

Sure enough, the item info for both potions was floating right in front of my eyes. True to their low grade, the effects weren't all that dramatic, but they'd be reasonably useful to keep on hand.

'Wait, hold on...'

I don't know about the first one, but isn't the second one basically a drug? How is the mana potion a psychotropic substance...

I'd been wrong to laugh at people who smoked weed off their Konpeito. The Association bastards were the real druggies all along.

'Do other people just not see this status window?'

Probably not, most likely. If they could, the rumor would've already been circulating all over the Awakener Gallery. Apparently there was some trait among traits that let you see a drug's ingredients.

For example, say, the EX-rank Drug Addiction.

While I was thinking about traits to myself, Hong Yeon-hwa continued.

"Don't let it fool you — these were hard to get. The guild bastards wouldn't release any volume, so I raided the Association's own stock to bring them."

"...Isn't that embezzlement?"

"Tsk tsk. It's not embezzlement, it's 'asset relocation.'"

"Six of one..."

Woo~ Abuse of power~ Association, impeach Hong Yeon-hwa~

...Well, honestly, even if it was embezzlement, it wouldn't have been that shocking. Considering all the crimes that had gone down in the Tower so far, a little embezzlement was a cute prank roughly on par with 'asset relocation.' Besides, Hong Yeon-hwa wasn't some entry-level clerk — she was a senior executive, so I'm sure she handled it just fine.

"Oh, and one more thing."

"......?"

But was the potion she'd just given me not the end of it? Before I could even put the box in my Inventory, Hong Yeon-hwa rummaged through her pocket once more and held out a small metal ring.

"Here."

"What's this?"

"An artifact."

"...What??"

Isn't that thing, like, insanely expensive...? Even C-rank ones go for hundreds of millions as a baseline, if I recall...?

An artifact. Simply put, it's an item that lets you use a skill or trait. The difference from a regular item? It's not single-use, basically. And they usually take the form of weapons, armor, or accessories.

What Hong Yeon-hwa handed me was a 'ring-type' artifact — supposedly the most expensive kind among them all.

Inferno...?

A name that somehow reminded me of firefighters fighting fire with fire. But given that it was an S-rank skill, it was clearly no ordinary spell.

"Ah, right, so here's what that is..."

And at my puzzled reaction, Hong Yeon-hwa's eyes lit up like an otaku's as she began her explanation.

"Fufu... Inferno is a 7th-circle explosion magic. Instead of the conventional ignition-based diverge method of dispersion, it employs a vortex circuit's converge formula to impose a range restriction, thereby maximizing its destructive power. The blast yield is 170,000 kilobursts, with a core temperature of approximately 100 million kelvin. Upon detonation, it incinerates and reduces every substance within a 10-meter radius to ash — in name and in fact, the supreme destructive magic..."

"......"

Oooh... brrr...

I dunno about all that...

Magic hard...

'...What the hell was any of that?'

Her lecture was more impenetrable, more mind-numbing, and more pedantic than a SpeedVegan post. My brain felt like it was melting. As I just blinked my eyes with a completely lost expression, Hong Yeon-hwa paused to think for a moment, then continued with a simpler explanation.

"...Just think of it as a thermobaric bomb."

"Ooooh...!! Thermobaric bomb...!!"

Somehow, that word strikes a chord in every man's heart.

"When you cast it, it vaporizes a 10-meter radius... so if you're going to use it, use it from far away."

So it goes vwoom~ and then KA-BOOM!!? Okay. Completely understood.

"Heehee."

Delighted at the prospect of firing off an annihilation spell at the press of a button, I grinned in satisfaction and tucked the ring and the potion box Hong Yeon-hwa had given me into my Inventory.

Watching me, Hong Yeon-hwa asked with an anxious face.

"You understood it properly... right?"

"Of course."

"You really understood it, right...?"

"You just shoot it from far away, right?"

"...Fine. You are a Lunatic climber, appearances notwithstanding. I'm sure you'll manage."

"Excuse me??"

When I snapped back at her oddly sarcastic tone, Hong Yeon-hwa quickly changed the subject, looking away.

"Anyway, you ever thought about officially registering with the Association?"

"The Association?"

"Yeah. You're a Lunatic climber, aren't you? If you came, they'd treat you well."

"...Hmm."

A sudden offer of official registration. But it wasn't an offer that particularly whetted my appetite.

No, listen, I *have* thought about it. Joining an organization like the Association or a guild. The moment I revealed my identity as a Lunatic climber, every organization under the sun would be falling over themselves to recruit me. All I'd have to do would be climb the Tower while getting fat support packages. And the Association wasn't a bad option among those.

For starters, being the closest thing to a public authority, its authority was greater than any of the guilds'. Inside the Tower, the Association was also the cleanest organization around.

But...

'There's no way the Association would tolerate drugs, is there...?'

In fact, precisely because they acted as half of the public authority, they were one of the organizations I absolutely could not join. My trait is a drug offense from the ground up — how am I supposed to join the Association?

...Though honestly, looking at the state of those potion ingredients, who knows. Still, you never know for sure, do you? Just like the rumors that circulated in the Tower Gallery — I might end up being treated as a lab rat.

"...So you're not joining, then."

"Heehee... sorry."

My apologies to Hong Yeon-hwa, but I'd decided to keep solo climbing for the time being. Besides, solo climbing alone posed no real problems right now.

"But I'll keep supplying the candy."

With that, I pulled the candy I'd prepared in advance from my Inventory and held it out to Hong Yeon-hwa.

This time I splurged — ten pieces. A full hundred cans' worth of energy drinks. Though admittedly, these were made from instant coffee mix powder, not energy drinks.

Candy made from the leftover coffee mix I'd bought at the convenience store. Which was why its color was a deep brown rather than yellow.

Hong Yeon-hwa took the candy, then stared at the Caffeine Candy for a moment with an uncertain look.

"......"

Crunch!

"...Oh. Tastes like coffee."

Turned out it was pretty good once she actually tried it? Her face brightened instantly as she pocketed the candy.

"This tastes better than the old ones."

"Really? I liked the old ones better."

"That's because you don't know real coffee. You have no idea how sweet coffee tastes after pulling an all-nighter working overtime for three days ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠straight..."

"...Stop with the thirty-something crisis talk."

And with that, Hong Yeon-hwa absolutely tore me a new one.

What's wrong with calling someone early-thirties...

She IS old, aren't you...

After finishing my business at the Association and getting home, I immediately opened the Tower Gallery and began devouring the backlog of trending posts.

"Still the same old place."

The trending board ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was plastered with last week's guild rumor and the buzz about Hong Yeon-hwa's Floor 20 clear. I clicked on the title that baited me the hardest and opened the thread.

[So if Carbon and 397 fought, who'd win??]

"Gasp..."

The classic vs. debate you always saw on the Awakener Gallery. The kind of fight children have — 'If Mihawk and Shanks fought, who'd win?' But as dopamine bait, it was the best topic there was.

And if I happened to be one of the contenders, the title was absolutely irresistible. I dove straight into the thread.

"...Hmmm."

I did spot Carbon's comment stirring up trouble with some weird content mixed in partway through, but the general consensus had its hands raised for Hong Yeon-hwa. Fair enough — she was a veteran Awakener who'd already climbed to Floor 20, and on Insane difficulty, just one step below Lunatic, no less. No matter how much of an A-rank she was, it was a self-evident fact that the current me couldn't beat her.

If the bets were open, even 87-year-old Grandpa Park Chan-soo would be calling Hong Yeon-hwa the favorite.

"......"

But even knowing that, was it just my imagination that I couldn't shake the feeling of having lost something?

Who am I, exactly? Korea's fourth Lunatic climber. Kim A-yeon, owner of the EX-rank trait Drug Addiction. Being pushed around in a versus debate by a mere A-rank Awakener was something my pride could never tolerate.

Especially when her rank was two whole grades below mine. Technically, wouldn't that make me the senior and Hong Yeon-hwa the junior? If anything, she should be the one using honorifics with me...

Losing a versus debate — ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠is that even something that should be allowed to exist?

"Not tolerated."

Objectively speaking, it was absolutely tolerable, but apparently my feelings refused to tolerate it.

And so, I closed the Tower Gallery, grabbed the gear I'd received from Hong Yeon-hwa, and headed out of my apartment.

"Time for a marathon climb."

Floor 4.

It was just about time to move up to the next floor.