Floor 3 (2)

"Ready, Al?"

Shhhlick!

In an instant, I transmuted the aluminum can pulled from my Inventory into the shape of a sword.

Clear evidence of my growth, compared to the old days when shaping a single dagger took me forever.

Then, gripping the freshly forged blade in both hands, I copied a sword stance I'd seen ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in an anime and charged straight at the slimes before me.

"Hii-YAP!"

And so my sword swung down at the nearest Black Sludge.

Squelch!

Far from the spectacular result I'd imagined, the aluminum blade was swallowed by the slime with a pathetic little sound and promptly melted away.

Wobble, b-bloop...

"......"

The Black Sludge stared at me with eyes that seemed to say, the hell is this guy?

Granted, there was no way that slime monster actually had eyes, but from where I stood, that's exactly what it felt like.

Fwoosh!

"...Right. Figured that wouldn't work."

I made a platform out of an aluminum pillar and quickly put distance between myself and the spitting slime.

Whoosh—

With a floating sensation, the scenery around me stretched long and thin.

The distance I'd gained was roughly five meters.

Well outside the range of my Inventory skill.

But it didn't matter.

My range was no longer a measly 2.5 meters.

"Transmute."

FWOOM!

Spikes sprouted from an aluminum can materialized in midair.

No—sprouted wasn't quite the word. They launched.

SHWAAAAAK—!!

Metal spikes firing out with devastating force, like a nail gun on overdrive.

Ordinarily, my Transmutation skill alone could never have managed this.

But...

"Drug Addiction!! It's so strooong~!!"

Having downed Ferum Flower extract and assorted alcohols, my addiction rate now sat at a whopping 420%.

One hundred percent caffeine, one hundred percent alcohol, and 220 percent of the narcotic flower, all rolled into one number.

Yesterday's feeble me is dead.

What stands here now is not my past self, but New— NEO DELUXE ULTRA Alchemist Kim A-yeon.

CRUNCH!

The Black Sludge struck by the flying metal spike gained a beautiful little donut hole.

Unable to hold its shape, the perforated sludge simply drained away.

By lucky chance the spike had hit its core, wiping it out in a single blow.

SHWAAAK— CRUNCH!!

I fired the same metal spikes at the remaining ones, and without putting up even a token resistance, they were skewered and reduced to puree.

"Huh. That was nothing."

For a floor that spawned three mid-bosses from Floor 5 at once, this was way too easy.

Actually, the fight with the Ferum Flower had felt harder, honestly.

Of course, it wasn't like the floors themselves had gotten easier—this was just me being absurdly overpowered now.

For some reason, I actually felt a little sorry for the Black Sludges.

They were, after all, technically mid-bosses from Floor 5—and they just had to run into the wrong opponent...

Ding!

And that's when it happened.

The notification chimed right on cue as system messages popped up before my eyes.

"Ohhh. Excellent."

Double the usual clear rewards—I let out a whoop of joy and stuffed the boxes into my Inventory.

The boxes could wait until I got home to open.

This place was hardly ideal for rolling gacha.

Something about the rotting stench scrambling my brain, you know?

"Ugh... better head home fast."

I opened my status window, snapped a verification shot for the forums, and immediately started searching for the portal-like exit.

Unfortunately, what I found before the exit was none other than an elf poking her pointed ears out from behind a tree in the distance.

Peek. Peek.

"......"

Yep. Should've known she'd show up.

No way an addict who'd just gotten her first taste was going to be satisfied with one hit.

The elf, finally crawling out from behind the tree, muttered as she looked at me.

"...The human from before?"

Familiar face, familiar chest.

Still dressed like a pervert.

And the trademark rudeness in her speech to top it all off.

The elf princess, Iris.

She stared at the black slime pooled on the ground in front of me and asked in a trembling voice.

"D-did you... just defeat those Black Sludges...?"

"Looks like it."

"But the contamination made it nearly impossible to even approach them...?"

"I'm just not the type to listen to stuff like that."

Tap, tap.

With that, I shook off the bit of Black Sludge goo smeared on my sleeve.

Did I get this when I insisted on trying out that Swordsmanship skill earlier?

I thought I'd dodged it, but apparently a little splashed on me.

What a waste...

That had been my last decent set of clothes.

Looks like I'd need to buy new ones soon enough.

Meanwhile, Iris was staring at me like I was some kind of monster.

"Well, after watching you douse yourself in Ppeokkeumi extract last time, I can't exactly say you're wrong..."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"See? Told you."

"...You remain a very un-human-like human, human."

To Iris's exasperated remark, I quipped back.

"What's with 'human'? Just call me by my name."

"You never told me your name..."

"A-yeon. Kim A-yeon."

"A-yeon? That's your name?"

"Yep."

"A family name before the given name... Humans have such peculiar naming customs."

Truthfully, it wasn't a human thing so much as an Asian-country thing, but.

Too lazy to explain the details, I just brushed it off.

Iris continued.

"Still... thank you for hunting down those Black Sludges. They were becoming quite the plague on the forest..."

Unlike the Ferum Flower from before, apparently those unlucky gelatinous blobs weren't welcome to the elves either.

I cocked my head and asked her about the Black Sludges.

"Bad guys?"

"Yes. They're monsters born from human garbage and magical waste mixed together."

"I see."

"Above all, the Black Sludge is the main culprit contaminating the roots of the World Tree. We elves have no choice but to despise them."

Contamination of the World Tree, huh.

That's a famous elf trigger button if ever there was one.

Something about it felt very main-quest important, vibes-wise...

But for someone who story-skips through even her subculture games, that was information I really didn't need.

Without wasting another second, I pulled the extract candy I'd made earlier out of my Inventory and held it out in front of Iris.

"Th-that's...!"

The moment she saw the candy, Iris's expression transformed, and like Pavlov's dog she began drooling shamelessly.

Heart-shaped eyes straight out of some sketchy pirate manga site.

Then, the moment I saw the self-control-abandoned elf instinctively reaching for the candy, I swiftly hid it in my hand and began pressing her.

"Tsk tsk. Nope. Wait."

"Wh-what are you doing all of a sudden...?! Stop teasing and just hand over that cand—"

Apparently her training wasn't complete yet, because the addict tried to snatch the candy from me, unable to bear even that brief moment.

They say there are no bad dogs in the world, but apparently that was all a lie.

Well, okay, technically this one's worse than a dog... but whatever.

I swatted away Iris's greedily grasping hand with one arm and shook my head with the most insufferably smug expression I could manage.

"Free of charge?"

Where do you get off freeloading these precious candies?

I gave up addiction-rate gains to make these, you know.

"If there's giving, there's got to be taking, right?"

"......"

The fundamental basis of trade.

The law of equivalent exchange.

...Though it sounded less like commerce and more like the basics of alchemy, honestly.

"I-I came out in a hurry... I don't have anything on me right now..."

"Then you've got no candy either, huh."

"NO!! W-wait, just give me a second!!"

Hearing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my words, Iris panicked and frantically rummaged through her clothes, searching for something to trade for the candy.

But had she really brought nothing at all?

Unable to find anything, Iris finally pulled off, with the face of a child about to cry, one of the leaves attached to her hair ornaments.

"Ugh... I didn't want to part with this one..."

She must have found it painfully precious, because she hesitated for a long while, clutching the leaf in her hand.

Of course, it was apparently less important than the candy, because in the end she held it out to me.

"...Here."

"Okay. Thanks."

And so the deal was successfully concluded.

I immediately began examining the leaf I'd received from Iris.

Flutter!

Overall, it looked like a maple leaf in shape.

But sharper, with seven distinct lobes.

The edges were jagged like saw teeth.

...Huh? Hold on.

Why did the shape of this thing...

Why did it look so familiar...

—Smoke weed everyday~

For some reason, a single line of foreign hip-hop started playing in my head.

With my eyes half-lidded, I shot Iris a look of deep suspicion.

"...Let me say this upfront: it's not what you're thinking."

"It's not weed?"

"Of course not! That's nothing like the cheap scrub grass you humans love to smoke!"

Had my mention of weed wounded her pride?

I tilted my head at the shrieking Iris and asked.

"Then what is it?"

"A World Tree Leaf."

"...What?"

FWOOSH—!

Before I could even process the words "World Tree Leaf," a status window floated up before my eyes.

The rank was a full-blown S.

The highest grade of any item I'd seen so far.

But it was the item description that followed which forced me to parade a dozen question marks over my head.

...What?

Potent sedative effect?

Induces a mental semi-trance?

Causes dependency with prolonged use?

Don't tell me this thing...

The elves' sacred World Tree was actually...

'It was a DRUG all along...?'

Thus was revealed the true nature of the sham faith the elves had placed their belief in.