Reality Always Surpasses Fairy Tales

"You've arrived."

"Welcome home."

Director Kang and Chaerin were waiting when Karen got back to the house. Director Kang had known the plan and been standing by; Chaerin had gotten a call from Karen on the way, asking her to come help for a bit.

"So this kid's the Saintess?"

"It's an honor to meet you, Saintess."

The two greetings could not have painted a clearer picture of their personalities. Chaerin studied Ellie with open curiosity, her nose twitching, while Director Kang bowed his head with impeccable courtesy.

"S-Saintess... please just treat me like anyone else."

Ellie flushed at the crushing weight of the title and bent at the waist in a full ninety-degree bow. She hadn't thought twice about it in prison, but hearing it now, out in the open, was mortifying.

"I couldn't possibly—"

"Right! Then let's get you washed up first! That's why you called me, isn't it, Karen?"

"That's right."

Chaerin, who had been sniffing the air like a hunting dog since the moment they walked in, seized on the words as if she'd been waiting for them. She hoisted Ellie onto her shoulder like a sack of luggage and made a beeline for the shower on the second floor.

"Wh-wha—?"

"Saintess?!"

Hangil shot to his feet in alarm as the Saintess was suddenly abducted, then went still at a single remark from Karen.

"What, you planning to bathe Ellie yourself? You want to go in there with them? And even if you did try something, you wouldn't win."

"Pardon?"

Hangil looked again at Lee Chaerin as she walked away. She was certainly more solidly built than an ordinary person, but he was still a Holy Warrior...

"That's Lee Chaerin. You haven't heard of her?"

"...You mean that S-Rank Hunter?"

When he'd been in the Holy Warrior training camp, the closed environment had cut off nearly all news from the outside. Even so, the story of a hunter who had single-handedly demolished an entire guild had been too sensational not to leak through. What was someone like that doing here?

"I might as well be dust..."

Hangil's self-esteem hit rock bottom today. He'd thought he'd been living reasonably hard, and then along came a Saintess, a Heresy Inquisitor, and one of the Alliance's vanishingly few S-Rank Hunters. On top of that, for all that he was supposedly a Divine Beast, he hadn't even managed to catch a tiny mouse.

Kh-hhk....

Did every new recruit go through trials like this? Moisture welled in Hangil's eyes.

"Quit overthinking it. Let's go get some rest. You go wash up over there too."

"Allow me to show you the way. We can introduce ourselves as we go, and I'll present you to the café staff as well."

"I'll leave it to you, Director Kang."

Karen pointed to the building beside the café, and Director Kang led Hangil away. Watching them go, Karen stretched until his back popped, then rapped on the car window.

Tap, tap.

The cat inside gave no response at all.

Tap, tap.

He was still coiled up like a snake, tail wrapped tight around his body.

"You still sulking?"

"Kku-ing! Master doesn't understand! My tongue still tastes like sand!"

Only then did Samsaek jerk his head up, his voice thick with grievance. His eyes were shining with unshed tears—and that was no act. He meant every word.

"I also—never mind. I'll buy you something tasty later. One wish coupon."

For a moment Karen had been about to point out that he'd drunk the same potion, but that would only have made Samsaek sulk harder, so he started coaxing him instead.

"...Three wish coupons."

"Hey now! Two."

"Deal!"

Samsaek hopped down through the window as if he'd been waiting for exactly that, then set about grooming his front paw with a look of satisfaction—only to hack and cough at the bitter taste on his tongue.

"Ugh. Even my fur tastes like sand."

The little guy groomed himself whenever he was bored; that was going to be rough. For the first time, Karen felt a flicker of pity for him. He was just about to offer some kind of comfort when his eyes fell on the plump belly of the cat squatting in front of him, and his voice turned merciless.

"Water's fine. Use this as a chance to go on a diet. You said you can live on nothing but dew and spring water anyway. Prove you're a Spiritual Beast while you're at it."

"Kku-ing! You're the worst, Master!"

Karen coldly ignored Samsaek's wail, scooped up the fat ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠cat without much ceremony, and headed inside with him in his arms.

The moment they were through the door, Karen and Samsaek sprawled across the plush sofa and closed their eyes for a brief rest.

So something came up after all.

His head was a little crowded. He'd hoped today would pass without incident, and instead he'd met a god, met a Saintess, and come face to face with his past self.

A line he'd heard in a drama before they left came back to him.

He'd already made his choice. All that remained was to give it everything he had. Only this time, he would do it his way—not the Goddess's.

"Karen!"

Chaerin's characteristically bright voice floated down from upstairs; they must have finished washing. She came down the stairs towel-drying her damp hair—they'd clearly bathed together—and Ellie followed behind her, picking her way down the steps with careful little movements.

"Isn't Ellie just the cutest? I came over in a rush today, so I gotta run!"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Ellie! I'll come play again! It was nice meeting you!"

Chaerin left in a hurry, but she'd been right about one thing: Ellie had the kind of small-animal cuteness that would make anyone on the street turn around for a second look. To Karen, though, who had just seen the Goddess herself—Ellie in her healthy form—it wasn't nearly enough.

She's far too thin.

"We should get some porridge in you and then get you to bed."

Fortunately, Karen had a generous stockpile of instant porridge. He stuck a pack in the microwave, sat Ellie down on the sofa while it turned, and spoke.

"You saw the building next to the café on the way here, right?"

"Yes."

Ellie nodded.

"There are plenty of rooms, and a nanny—no, Hangil will be there, so you'll be fine. He's a Holy Warrior, so of course he'll take good care of you. And I'll come by often, obviously."

"I'm truly grateful. But, um, would it be all right if..."

Ellie's hands, folded neatly in her lap, tightened.

"It's okay. Say whatever you want."

"Could I stay here with you, mister?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. I'm so sorry. I'm already so grateful that you brought me here. I'm truly, truly sorry."

Before Karen could get a word in, Ellie poured the rest out herself and dropped her head. Her whole body was trembling.

Anxiety symptoms?

Karen took in her condition and bit his lip. The tension of the rescue had finally broken, and the bath had left her body heavy and loose. She had always been a strong child, but she had just pushed past the limit she'd been barely holding.

I can't do this. I can't make demands. I can't be a burden.

Ellie was certain she had said something that would make the people who had saved her hate her. The thought of being separated from Karen, the man who had pulled her out of that place, had slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it. She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing for the harsh words and the beatings to come raining down the way they always had.

"Of course. There's a spare room upstairs anyway, so it works out. Right, Samsaek?"

But what came back to her was Karen's distinctive heavy voice, as casual and even as if nothing at all were the matter.

"That's right! And you look like you're hurting somewhere. I'll take care of that for you. Hoo~"

Samsaek padded up to Ellie and set a front paw against her stomach. Green light welled from his paw and seeped into her.

It's warm.

It wasn't just the color of the light. It felt like drinking hot cocoa in the dead of winter. The glow Samsaek had given her traveled through her whole body, spreading a gentle warmth as it went.

"...Right. You're weak, but you do have healing abilities."

Karen snapped his fingers, recalling a fact he'd completely forgotten until now.

"I am a Spiritual Beast!"

Samsaek shrugged his shoulders, preening.

"Thank... you... hhk."

"Huh? Why... why is she crying? Master?"

Samsaek startled as Ellie suddenly started to weep and looked to his master beside him. Karen, without a word, stood up and went to the kitchen.

He tore open the packet of instant porridge, now steaming from the microwave, and spooned it into a bowl. He added a light drizzle of sesame oil and a sprinkle of toasted sesame seeds, then set it in front of Ellie.

"Let's eat. Then we'll get you to bed for a good long sleep."

"Sniffle. Yes, mister."

Ellie wiped her tears as she answered. The porridge sending up lazy curls of steam, and the man sitting silently at her side, were the greatest comfort she had ever been given.

Mister...

When Ellie cracked her eyes open, she found Karen sitting in the chair. Almost every time she woke, he was there, reading a paper book by the faint glow of the night-light that softly lit the room, right beside her bed. Next to him, Samsaek was asleep, a tiny rumbling purr in his throat.

The book had changed again. Last time he'd been reading an Encyclopedia of Infant Development, and when she'd told him she was not a baby, he'd switched to this one.

"You're awake."

She'd barely opened her eyes, but somehow he knew. Karen closed the book he'd been reading and spoke.

"Yes."

"You still need a little more sleep. Sixteen hours at a stretch is fine."

"...Isn't that for infants up to twelve months? I'm ten."

"That's exactly why. You're too small. This book says you grow if you sleep a lot."

Even Karen, who was not easily surprised by much of anything, had been more than a little taken aback the first time he'd heard Ellie was ten. Elementary schoolers these days were enormous compared to kids in the old days. Ellie, even by those older standards, was the height of a kindergartner.

Ellie nudged the blanket aside with her foot and looked down at the ends of her own legs. They were short. They really were short. Wanting to grow up fast was a child's natural instinct, and her expression turned a little glum.

When am I ever going to get as tall as that unnie...

Ellie had been stunned when she met Chaerin. There was a scar on her face, but it only made her more striking, and the body Ellie had glimpsed while they bathed together—honed dense and powerful by training—had drawn a genuine gasp of admiration.

"You'll grow, of course. Eat and sleep, and you'll shoot up."

Karen added, reading her face. When Ellie had first arrived at this house, she'd been little more than bones. A discreet hospital visit had produced a diagnosis that was simple, and simply sad.

Even so, two weeks of nothing but eating, sleeping, taking her medicine, and sleeping some more—with Karen and Samsaek's help—had improved her condition considerably.

Church reform and all the rest of it can wait. First I make this child healthy. Then I deal with everything else.

According to the information the Goddess had poured into Karen's mind, there was still plenty of time before Earth would be in any real danger. And even if there hadn't been, Karen's actions would have been exactly the same.

I am sick to death of sacrifice and sorrow.

Once he had decided to protect this child, doing it halfway was not a thought that existed in Karen's head. He wasn't on speaking terms with the Goddess anymore anyway, so it was just as well. As far as he was concerned, that Goddess might be of some use to the Saintess—but she was no help at all to Ellie the child.

Then again, thirty years old is a newborn by a god's standards...

The red mark of the Heresy Inquisitor engraved on his palm flickered faintly, as if in protest. Karen didn't even glance at it.

"Thank you so much. It's all thanks to you, mister."

"Want me to do another hoo~?"

Samsaek, woken by their conversation, climbed onto Karen's lap as he spoke.

"I'm truly grateful to you as well, Samsaek."

"See? This is the first time this little guy has actually looked like a Spiritual Beast to me."

"I am a Spiritual Beast, Master! Look. Hoo~"

Samsaek sprang off Karen's lap and pressed a front paw to Ellie's stomach. Green light welled from his paw once more and seeped into her.

"Do you really have to do the 'hoo~'?"

"Of course I do. This has been around since the Joseon era. My healing power comes from the customs and traditions of the Korean people of old. When a child was sick, mothers would blow on them and stroke their bellies, and all of that had meaning, and—"

"Boomer."

Karen cut him off with a single tossed word. Samsaek went blank for a second, then immediately rounded on him with a face full of wounded injustice.

"??? Tradition and being a boomer are two different things! Originally, a Spiritual Beast—"

"I learned that word from you. It feels pretty awful, doesn't it? How's it feel?"

".....I won't use it anymore, so you don't use it either."

Watching Karen and Samsaek bicker, Ellie felt a smile rise to her face all on its own. They really were such an entertaining couple every time she saw them.

"You still need more sleep, though."

Having concluded a peace ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠treaty with Samsaek, Karen turned to Ellie. Then his pupils wavered, just slightly, at the smile that had bloomed on her face.

It's still there.

It was identical to Adela's smile. Karen raked a hand through his hair, forcibly pushing the thought away, and changed the subject before Ellie could notice.

"If you can't sleep, want me to read you a fairy tale? According to the book, reading fairy tales is good for emotional development."

"I like the adventure stories you tell better! The ones about starting as an herb merchant, and the dwarf village, and meeting the Dragon Lord—those are so much fun."

"I like those ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠too! Master's stories are the best."

Worried the books might be a little childish for Ellie's mental age, Karen had tried telling one of his own stories—and the reaction had been unexpectedly rapturous. Ellie believed every word of it without a shred of doubt.

He was the Heresy Inquisitor, guaranteed by the Goddess herself. And the stories were so densely detailed that there were any number of parts you simply could not explain unless you had actually lived them.

But are my stories really good for emotional development?

The thought crossed Karen's mind, but one look at Ellie's eyes sparkling like stars and he decided to let it go. She wasn't an ordinary child anyway.

"Last time you left off where you'd become friends with the dwarf king. You and the king had a beer-drinking contest."

"All right, all right. That day, the entire dwarf kingdom threw a festival..."

Karen's story began, and Ellie and Samsaek sat side by side on the bed, listening quietly. Samsaek was genuinely lost in the tale. Ellie, however, had one more purpose besides.

Why ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠does he look at me like that?

Karen had hidden it quickly, but Ellie, who had always been sensitive, had not missed the moment his eyes trembled. It had been the same when they first met, and sometimes, when he looked at her, his eyes seemed sad.

Isn't there some way I can help him?

The cause, she thought, must lie in the past, so she listened with even greater concentration. Of course, simply getting to know more about him was wonderful in its own right.

"And then, all of a sudden, the dwarf king's nephew showed up..."

A story more like a fairy tale than any fairy tale starring an alchemist stretched on late into the night, with a Saintess and a Spiritual Beast as its audience.