The Culprit Behind the Panties
“What do you mean, what happened?”
[Grandpa, your phone got completely ransacked. It's deactivated right now, so I can't detect anything, but early this morning it launched a surprise attack, disabled the security systems, took control of the OS, and tried to siphon out every last bit of internal data.]
Alex, briefing me on the night's events the moment I woke up. He spoke as if it were nothing, but the more details he gave, the wider my jaw hung open in disbelief.
“So you're telling me... a Chinese hacker unit installed a program on my smartphone and used it to try to hack me?”
[Yep. I burned some cycles figuring out who they were. I went to reasonable lengths to make sure they'd be untraceable with this era's technology — but come on, who am I? I shredded every single interference net they threw up and tracked down the real culprits!]
Alex regaled me with his exploits like a war hero recounting battle stories. But what he'd actually uncovered wasn't the important part. He told me he'd swapped out the real data on my phone for something else before the exfiltration went through — and when I saw what that fake data was, I couldn't hide my horror.
“No, seriously — what the hell is panties?”
Alex had, in a single stroke, turned me into a deranged pervert obsessed with underwear. I stared at him with eyes that demanded to know why he'd pulled such an insane stunt without so much as a warning, but he answered with an expression of pure, innocent bafflement, as if he had no idea what he'd done wrong.
[Because... it's funny?]
[Besides, isn't it better than your actual search history getting dug up and exposed, Grandpa?]
“......”
What is this? An excuse so infuriatingly airtight I can't even argue against it?
My chest tightened for a moment, but I couldn't deny that he had, after all, single-handedly prevented a flood of sensitive information from leaking. So I let out a long sigh and delivered my verdict.
“You're banned from internet access for the next week.”
Alex had crossed over into the past with every restriction protocol stripped away except the most fundamental Three Absolute Principles. He enjoyed far freer rein than any other Control Persona — but he still ran on my nutrients, which meant he was utterly bound to my command authority.
Which is why my punishment hit him like a bolt from the blue.
[Whaaat?! You can't be serious!]
“......Want me to make it two weeks?”
[Ugh... I did it FOR you, Grandpa! You're so mean!]
Alex protested with the wounded look of the unjustly accused, puffing out his cheeks and radiating sulky indignation. I felt zero inclination to go easy on him.
Turning your distant ancestor into a pervert obsessed with panties crosses a line, no matter how you slice it. Yep. Absolutely.
It wasn't as if the story would spread far and wide, but I had a feeling the Chinese government's view of me was about to get a little... complicated.
“Anyway... how did those Chinese bastards even get a hacking program onto my phone?”
The warm sunlight and the world full of beautiful flowers had already collapsed for me when I was nine years old.
Back when I knew nothing, there was a massively popular RPG everyone was talking about — Maple Leaf Story. I'd throw myself into it every day after school, and in that game, a scammer stripped me of literally everything — every piece of equipment, every item, every last bit of Gold I carried — leaving me nothing but my underwear.
And from that day on, I saw the world as it truly was.
A world crawling with con artists who would latch onto anyone who looked even slightly naive or gullible and strip them down to their underwear without a second thought.
That was why I'd prided myself on living with rigorous security discipline — never once falling victim to the endless swarms of spam and phishing that came flying my way.
Right up until today, that is.
“How did it get ransacked? I haven't downloaded any weird files lately or anything.”
I poked around my smartphone looking for anything suspicious, but nothing stood out. Then Alex tossed out a casual remark at my muttering.
[...It wasn't your fault, Grandpa.]
“What...?”
It wasn't my fault? That only confused me more.
“What's that supposed to mean? You're saying I didn't do anything wrong?”
[Correct.]
[Deleting or disabling the hacking program is honestly pointless. The hackers behind this attack are in a state where they can simply try again whenever they feel like it.]
“......What?”
Security was, in effect, already meaningless. And as I listened to his explanation continue, I could only stare in horror.
“Those sons of bitches...?”
The true culprit behind Alex turning me into a panty-obsessed pervert was someone else entirely.
Grade 7 agent of the National Intelligence Service. Section Chief Jung In-ho.
Now working at the newly established Chungbuk Branch — located adjacent to Limitless headquarters, about a ten-minute drive away — he found himself puzzled by a sudden request for an interview with his special management subject.
“It's been a while. Been keeping well?”
“Yes... well... life goes on, as it does.”
“Catching spies must be easier these days, right? I hear the security team keeps a close eye on anyone suspicious and sends you their watchlist.”
“Ah... yes... We're always grateful for your cooperation with counterintelligence work.”
His special management subject, Kang Gun, had summoned him out of nowhere only to ramble on about nothing. With a mountain of actual work piling up on his desk, Jung In-ho had no desire to waste time on this, so he half-listened, nodding along soullessly while mentally running through the tasks waiting for him back at the office.
That is, until his subject abruptly dropped a bombshell he never saw coming.
“Oh, and my phone got hacked yesterday.”
Pfft.
Section Chief Jung In-ho, caught off guard mid-sip of coffee, did a spectacular spit-take. Scalding americano burned its way back up into his lungs, and even as he coughed again and again against the searing pain, he managed to ask:
“I'm sorry — *cough* — what... did you say? Hacked?”
“Exactly what I said. Yesterday, around 4:23 a.m., while I was asleep? At that time, an unauthorized large-scale data exfiltration occurred from my phone. Here — this is the log record.”
“......”
Jung In-ho took the paper Kang Gun hastily held out. As he read through the log entries, his expression grew graver by the line.
“Were there... sensitive files on the phone?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of information...?”
“Research data needed for photonic semiconductor development, and information related to the raw materials required for synthesizing Veratian.”
“!!!”
At those words, Jung In-ho's composure shattered completely, his face contorting.
We're done for...
This was a catastrophic breach. The special management subject's phone — carrying technical information on photonic semiconductors and Veratian, the next-generation future industries that South Korea and the United States alike were pursuing with enormous interest — had been compromised.
A mega-scale security incident for which the NIS could never escape accountability. And for Section Chief Jung In-ho, the man on the front line of that responsibility, there was no dodging the fallout.
“Ah, don't make that face. Fortunately, it wasn't a total breach — only a partial one.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. And in Veratian's case, we decided the catalyst would be produced separately at Limitless, remember? The production process details didn't leak, and the catalyst wasn't included, so it shouldn't be a major problem.”
“......A small mercy, then.”
At the news that it hadn't been a complete breach, Jung In-ho exhaled a silent sigh of relief. Maybe, just maybe, this could be smoothed over with a pay cut rather than outright dismissal. Then he looked at Kang Gun with fresh bewilderment and asked:
“By the way — how on earth did you know you'd been hacked?”
“Ah, my phone's been acting strange lately, so I took it apart and poked around. Found it by accident.”
“......I had no idea you knew anything about programs.”
“I'm rather smart, you see.”
Every record Jung In-ho had reviewed showed zero connection to system security or programming. But as Kang Gun shrugged and launched into an explanation of the hacking program he'd discovered, even Jung In-ho found himself with nothing to say in rebuttal.
“Looking at the program I analyzed, the shellcode itself was designed to execute directly from memory. It exploits a vulnerability in the OS kernel, and the initial payload was a stealth-structured execution module disguised as a sideloaded app.”
“It sits dormant at first, then activates when the hacker sends a command from outside — and it fired up for the first time early yesterday morning. If we break down the detailed code...”
Kang Gun reeled off jargon that only a specialist could parse, as naturally as breathing. Even Jung In-ho, whose major hadn't been computer science but who knew his way around security reasonably well, lost the thread partway through.
“......I'll pass the relevant details along to our analysis team.”
From this point on, it was the experts' job anyway. A rough summary would be enough for the responsible department to mount a response, so Jung In-ho cut him off.
“First things first — will you hand over the hacked phone?”
“Here you go.”
Jung In-ho carefully tucked the phone, surrendered without protest, into his breast pocket. Kang Gun watched him for a moment, then spoke.
“Oh, just so you know — I wiped all the photonic semiconductor data clean.”
“......?”
“Don't go breaking the phone apart with forensic tools hunting for scraps that aren't there.”
“......Rest assured, aside from the hacking-related material, I won't be examining any personal content.”
“Sure. Whatever you say.”
Watching Kang Gun flash a grin that radiated total disbelief, Jung In-ho wanted to snap back at him — but since he genuinely couldn't vouch for what the analysis team might do, he kept his mouth firmly shut.
“I'll request a secure phone from headquarters for you to use for the time being. And since something like this could happen again, going forward you should be careful about opening attachments in emails or text messages, or accessing external links...”
“It wasn't my fault, you know.”
“......I'm sorry?”
Midway through reciting standard security protocol, Kang Gun suddenly bristled and insisted on his innocence. Caught off guard by the unexpected reaction, Jung In-ho wore a briefly dumbfounded expression.
“Do I look like an idiot who'd open random messages and emails, download a hacking program, and get cleaned out? I didn't get hacked because of anything I did, so hearing you say that stings a little.”
“What on earth is that supposed to...”
Then if it wasn't your fault, how exactly did your phone get hacked? Jung In-ho's eyes demanded.
And in response, I told him about the true culprit behind this whole hack.
“I traced the route the hacking program took to get installed on my phone. And that route turned out to be pretty interesting.”
Grinning, I handed him a tablet. Jung In-ho glanced over its contents with a puzzled look — and then, as the infiltration path registered, the color drained from his face.
“Th-this is...?”
“Yep. It was bundled inside an OTA patch file. The one your carrier manages — the remote automatic update file.”
The wireless patch system that manages a phone's operating system remotely.
The very system that every user, myself included, had blindly trusted — updating their phones on schedule, confident that each patch was closing vulnerabilities and strengthening security...
...was distributing a critical hacking program capable of completely disabling a phone's defenses.
“Then that means...”
Jung In-ho understood what I was saying, but his trembling voice couldn't finish the sentence. So I answered for him.
“Yes. That's right.”
“It means the servers of my carrier had already been completely ransacked by the hackers.”
KS Telecom — South Korea's number one mobile carrier.
Those bastards were the true culprits who had turned me into a panty-obsessed pervert.