Even Without a Pool, I Still Want to Swim!
"Wow, it's been so long since things felt this peaceful."
The feeling of resting in the Royal Guard quarters, sipping hot chocolate like this—it was sweet enough to be genuinely enjoyable. Lately I'd been so busy I'd forgotten something this nice even existed.
...Though back when this was all I was doing, I'd thought I was pretty busy.
This is work that has to get done eventually, so stacking other events on top of it made everything exhausting...
Honestly, there were parts I handled in fine detail, so the difficulty was satisfying in its own way. Sometimes when it got too hard, I wanted to dump the captaincy back on Powder.
...Well, if I wanted to survive alongside Master, I'd have to put up with being busy.
"Yeah."
Beside me, Master was drinking hot chocolate of his own. He seemed gentler than he'd been in the early days. Back then he'd been sharp-edged toward everyone but me, but at least with the Royal Guard, the distance had narrowed somewhat.
"Is your body feeling any better?"
"It was just a debuff, like I told you. Once it wore off that day, I was fine."
"Liar. You spent the whole day in the bathroom."
...I was in the bathroom, sure, but Cinnamon had locked herself in the corner of her room apologizing. Come to think of it, Master's sentences toward me had gotten longer overall than before. Especially the way he expressed that he liked me—more direct now. Watching him slowly adapt to daily life in Perfumery was a welcome sight.
Well, I suppose the same goes for me?
At first I hadn't even known how to take care of my hair properly. I couldn't even wash it right—I'd been on the brink of going bald. Master had handled all of that for me and fixed it completely, so... how well had I really adapted?
"Ha, summer must be getting closer. Drinking hot chocolate is making me warm."
"Want me to make iced chocolate next time?"
"That sounds nice too. With a limited-summer-edition kind of vibe..."
Summer, huh. It was about time for things to blow up, but it was surprisingly quiet. The accident from this chapter's prologue was supposed to get them to contact us and create a point of connection.
"Hello? Ah, yes. Yes? The building's ceiling is collapsing...?"
There it is.
Ah, damn—I slipped into formal speech without thinking. Talking formally all the time must be why I keep making this kind of mistake lately... I need to be careful not to let my guard down even in my thoughts.
"Master, let's go."
"Is this it?"
"Yes."
It was time to go meet a new batch of idiots. Thinking back, when I first saw this content in a developer stream, I'd been absolutely hyped. Now they just felt like our cute little idiots—completely like my own kids.
"This is the place?"
"Isn't this just an ordinary building?"
"Apparently the rooftop floor collapsed."
What a completely brain-dead idea. Let's do it right now—that was the kind of lightning-fast decision-making this group of idiots had used to cause this accident. You couldn't approach this with normal common sense.
"Uh..."
"Ehehe, so cool~"
"Aqua, I told you it's dangerous."
"I'm praying she falls and cracks her skull open."
"Cotton, you shouldn't hope for that."
"Shut up. Your mouth reeks of fish."
Yeah, the situation was definitely serious. They'd filled an enormous portable pool with water, and the weight had been so heavy the ceiling had caved in. And even in this situation, there was Aqua—that crazy girl—still swimming in the half-sunken portable pool. And Cotton, the girl firing off scathing commentary at the sight. Plus Marine, the clean-looking tanned slender girl, fretting over Aqua and telling her to get out already.
These swimsuit girls with water-related names written all over them were the members of the third chapter guild: the Daily Swim Club. A gathering of shameless girls who insisted that daily life should be synonymous with swimming, and so wore swimsuits every single day.
"This is a real mess... How are we supposed to fix this?"
"They'll have to handle it themselves."
We'd just strong-arm them into working by force if we had to. Of course, in the process the protagonist would feel sorry for them and end up helping. Building intimacy that way was the defining feature of this main story segment.
"Fufufu, our club members really are the best entertainment."
"I-if they're your members, you should help them..."
"Aww, but this is fun."
Sidling up next to us to spectate the chaos together was none other than Levant. Leader of the swim club, yet a pervert who loved swimsuits more than swimming itself.
...Especially her default outfit—a sling-type swimsuit whose exposure and cut were extremely explicit. She was probably one of the only characters whose appeal was more blatant than Jasmine's... Personally, I thought Jasmine-level exposure was about right. Or maybe I just didn't like sling-type swimsuits much. Honestly, the micro bikini that came out later as a skin was better.
"They're huge..."
"Bigger than Powder's...?"
Yeah, Levant's were seriously massive. Honestly, mine were pretty big too, and we had a monster like Powder on our side. But Levant had the biggest breasts in all of Princess Fourmi, so gasping at first sight wasn't strange at all.
She smells like a woman.
Until now, other characters had each given off the scent of a particular perfume. Levant smelled less like perfume and more like a rich, mature feminine scent. ...A dizzying fragrance with a faint mix of sweat.
Is it because I became a woman?
In the past, I probably would have enjoyed a scent like that. Honestly, it did nothing for me. ...No, if anything, it just smelled a bit off.
"Cotton!"
"Aldehyde?"
"I was in the bathroom doing my business when I heard this enormous noise...!"
"...You sure took your time getting here."
How did it take her longer than us to get here from the bathroom? Cotton and Aldehyde both gave off a slightly cool, fragrant soap scent. It was strange—every time I met someone, my first impression came through smell.
Well, I already know everything else about them.
Honestly, this idiot swim club had been way more popular than the Dessert Research Club. So for someone like me who browsed the Princess Fourmi community outside of game time—even without a single favorite among them—they were more familiar and more endearing. ...And a lot of them had great performance, too.
So their personalities and lines were all burned into my head. Unless I'd already smelled them through merch I'd bought, my nose was bound to latch onto those new facets.
This is somehow satisfying.
Being able to enjoy this idiotic, leisurely atmosphere right in front of me felt strangely good. ...Though it was about time I dealt with things.
I had Marine step back, then forcibly yanked Aqua out of the water and tossed her aside.
"Egyaaaah!?"
"A-Aqua...!"
My eyes were getting a real feast today. From highly revealing bikinis to form-fitting one-pieces that showed off every curve—they were teaching a masterclass in beauty. And the radiant looks supporting those outfits went without saying. Yeah, truly the best guild.
"You look like you're having fun today."
"...After hanging around producers who churn out disgusting food every day, watching these idiots live their lives feels healing."
Since I'd known this incident was going to happen, I'd prepared equipment in advance and drained the water from the portable pool through the sewers. Slowly the giant portable pool emptied out, ready for demolition.
"Looking at it like this, it almost looks like a meteor hit..."
Staring at the rooftop with its enormous hole punched through it felt surreal. Maybe because it was more realistic than seeing it as an illustration...
"Pursuant to Major Unit Management Law, the Royal Guard will now take over situational command in place of the police."
"Yes, thank you for the handover."
"Daily Swim Club Guild Leader, Levant."
"Yes!"
"Are you aware that your actions constitute a violation of the Multi-Unit Housing Management Act?"
"I am not!"
She was so brazen about it I was speechless. Then again, that was Levant for you. There was a reason she was called the reverse-figure Citrus.
"You either need our permission to use this space, or the consent of every single resident."
"Ahh."
"Don't just 'ahh' me. And structures like this need to be installed with proper load considerations. What kind of clueless idiot puts a pool this size on a rooftop?"
I'd checked earlier—this apartment building was rated for 300 kilograms per square meter. Judging by the pool's size, it had been over 500 kilograms per square meter. A portable pool itself is light enough to look like nothing, but the weight of the water inside is never trivial.
"Since you proceeded without knowing, we'll show leniency on this point if you participate in community service for the sake of social justice."
"Oh, that's appreciated."
"However, on top of that—you are the ones who wrecked this rooftop. If you don't want to pay a massive damages bill, you'll have to fix it yourselves."
"Ah. I didn't swim, so maybe just the others can do it?"
"Hey."
You're the last person who should say that—you pushed for this harder than anyone because it looked fun. And as guild leader, trying to sneak out of responsibility? Not that her sticking around would help much, but she needed to stay put so we could raise her affection.
"And apologize to your apartment neighbors. Quite a few people were affected today, so compensate them as well."
"W-we don't have any money..."
"Then we'll lend it to you, and increase your service hours accordingly."
"Thank you..."
Levant was clearly the guild leader. But the only one who seemed remotely interested in handling things properly was Marine. Then again, she was the designated normal person in this insane guild.
With her blonde hair and tan, she looked like a nasty character at first glance. But listening to her talk, she was incredibly pure-hearted—just a kid who was sincerely devoted to the things she liked. If anything, that contrast with her appearance was part of her charm.
There used to be a lot of fun fan art of her in the misunderstanding genre.
Personally, I liked her because she was cute. Ah, this isn't the time. How did I end up going off on a fan rant?
"What do you think of this guild, Master? Pretty nice on the eyes, right?"
"Not really."
"...Really?"
"There's nothing in this world easier on the eyes than Jasmine."
"Huh?"
...At his unwavering expression of love, my heart fluttered a little again today.