Did the First Event PV Appear?
"Done."
"Hauuuh...."
The instant I slipped free of the protagonist guy's hands, a languid heaviness pulled me face-down onto the bed.
...Fuck, my chest is so massive that flopping onto my stomach is a goddamn nightmare every single time.
I never once imagined there'd come a day I'd feel sorry for myself over having huge breasts.
"Sleepy?"
"I thought I was awake, but once it got all warm and nicely dry it just made me drowsy."
"Want to sleep more?"
"Not that."
By now it felt completely natural that he fixed my hair every morning.
...The real problem was that he was too good at it—dangerously good, in more ways than one.
The mere thought of learning how to do it myself and handling it alone made me want to scream from pure laziness.
I wanted to dump the job on him for the rest of my life.
...He looks pretty satisfied himself, so whatever.
It was the only time he ever wore that rare look of genuine contentment.
...In a way, maybe it counted as mutual welfare.
Really, the weird feeling was just on my end. He didn't have some special agenda or anything.
"Hnnngh...."
"If you're that tired, want a piggyback?"
"Huh?"
"If you're exhausted I'll carry you."
...That would be way too embarrassing.
I'd already surrendered to the hassle of hair care and just handed my head over without a fight, but I had zero confidence I could let everyone see me like that just because I was tired.
"Just to the convenience store, then."
"...Shall we?"
That was roughly halfway, so it almost sounded reasonable.
A cheat skill that let me doze for half the trip without getting caught.
Like auto-progress....
...Ah?
The second he hoisted me onto his back I realized the problem.
These massive breasts of mine immediately pressed flush against his back in a deep, full-contact kiss.
...The embarrassment was one thing, but my whole body being squashed flat while I rode him was actually pretty painful and uncomfortable.
"Ack...!"
"You okay?"
"S-sorry. This isn't going to work."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it hurts when they get crushed...."
"Then I guess we're doing it this way."
"Hgyak?!"
I'd said a piggyback was fine. I had never once authorized a princess carry.
Sure, he was probably just pissed that a proper piggyback was impossible right now, but a princess carry did something extremely weird to my head and I absolutely did not want it.
So I had to refuse. Fast. Get out of this hellish position and walk to the guild on my own two feet.
...I definitely thought that.
"Sss... haaah...."
"Jasmine?"
"Yeees...?"
"You must be really wiped out. You're already asleep. I'll just carry you."
"Heeh...."
But if I just sank into this scent and slept properly, I wouldn't even have to move, right?
I'd wake up over there already, and that was better, wasn't it...?
Whatever. They already seemed to think Master and I were "that" kind of couple anyway, so who cared....
"Jasmine?"
"Eh...?"
"We're here."
"Yeees...."
What? I only closed my eyes for a second and we're already there?
At least the fact that we'd actually moved wasn't a lie—my gradually returning consciousness felt pretty clear.
I'd had a nightmare last night about a mint-chocolate hamburger being jammed into my mouth, so I hadn't slept properly, and now I was a complete mess first thing in the morning.
"...Whoa."
"......?"
A voice that was somehow familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.
Not one I'd heard recently, but still familiar somehow....
I slowly rubbed my eyes and got my vision working again, and the first thing that came into focus was a single churro coated in chocolate until it looked exactly like a Pepero stick.
"...Princess carry? First time I've ever seen one in real life."
"......."
Still cradled in the protagonist guy's arms, I stared at the tiny, adorable character and felt my brain go blank.
The faint cinnamon scent drifting over told me my guess was correct.
...Fuck, why is Cinnamon here?
Am I still half-asleep?
"This is our Master and our Captain. Say hello."
"Hello. I'm Cinnamon from the Dessert Research Club, here on an errand."
"Hi."
"......."
Shit. I completely forgot there might be a guest waiting.
I was half-asleep so my judgment was already shot, but still.
I must be out of my mind. Why the hell did I let him carry me all the way here instead of just being late?
Are you even sane right now?
"She came to ask permission to hold a festival celebrating something called Black Day."
"Haaah, just give them permission."
"You don't even want to look at the paperwork?"
"It's not going to be proper paperwork anyway."
"...How'd you know?"
Because those idiots would never prepare proper documents, that's how.
Even in the game, whenever they decided to throw some half-baked event, the Royal Guard had to step in and force it through somehow.
Odds were high it would go the same way this time.
"By the way, what's Black Day?"
"...Isn't it the day singles cry while eating jajangmyeon?"
"Ahh."
You're all lifelong singles yourselves—saying it like that is just self-owning.
Though I already knew Major Units tended not to form relationships easily.
...Not that "dating" in this world would ever be anything but girl-on-girl anyway.
"It is the day of jajangmyeon, but if you think about it, it's also like an extension of Valentine's and White Day where you gift desserts, right?"
"...Is it?"
"So we wanted to make an event where people buy and sell homemade desserts and just enjoy themselves."
"Nice idea."
The idea itself was good.
When the first PV for this Black Day event dropped, lines like these earned it a ton of goodwill.
A lot of people even mistook the Dessert Research Club for some refined tea-party guild.
...But the reality?
It was an event run by dessert-illiterate terrorists operating on pure delusion.
The story was so absurd it was actually funny, but the Dessert Research Club's image crashed straight into the ground.
...Well, when your guild leader is Minty—who dumps mint-chocolate essence on every single dessert—anyone who expected a refined guild was the real idiot.
So this is Cinnamon, the pickup character for this event.
I still remembered the meme that started when she was revealed: free characters were the big-boobed onee-san types, while gacha characters were the tiny cute loli types.
Of course that stopped meaning anything pretty fast.
It was just a coincidence of the early pickup schedule.
Anyway, Cinnamon was an extremely cute blonde loli type.
She loved churros so much she always carried one around.
...Her bag was probably stuffed full of churros and churro snacks.
And that chocolate-coated churro she was holding right now—the one that looked like a Pepero—was the exact item you got when you used chocolate for Affection Gifts.
...Honestly it looked pretty delicious.
Haaah....
If we could just enjoy the festival eating normal stuff like that, life would be great.
Why the hell did these idiots have to be the ones holding the resources we needed, forcing us into this mess?
And knowing how stubborn they were, if we didn't properly participate in the event they definitely wouldn't hand anything over.
"Just tell them we give permission."
"Yes!"
"And Cinnamon."
"Eh?"
"Please. Keep those idiots from causing disasters before the festival."
"...That's a tough request. It's not something I can control."
"I figured."
Cinnamon was the most normal one among those morons, and even that was saying something.
...The fact that the cute mascot character was the sanest one already meant the whole group was doomed, right?
Why do the adults act worse than the kids?
"Here."
"Hm?"
"Have one. Eat it and get your energy back!"
"...Thanks."
I popped the churro Cinnamon offered into my mouth and chewed, savoring the rich sweetness.
Yeah. If they just made normal desserts like this, everything would be fine.
Haaah, I seriously don't know if I can survive this event.
"...You know a lot about Minty, huh?"
"More or less. What now? I gave permission but I don't think I can handle it."
"...Then you should've just said no."
"The intention is good. And there's a reason it has to stay the same...."
"She's my friend, but even I still don't get how she ended up head of the Dessert Club."
I knew Aroma and Minty had gone to the same school.
Apparently they were the only two who became Major Units there, so they naturally grew close.
...Minty's pathological love of mint chocolate had already been just as bad back then.
"Birds of a feather flock together. ...Though Cinnamon kind of feels like a victim in all this."
The rest of them were all weird.
Of course that was exactly what gave them character and made people love them, but they did so many disgusting things that it became a real problem.
...They were basically the game's resident terrorists.
Every chance they got they showed up and turned everything into a disaster zone.
It was fun to watch—until I was the one stuck cleaning up the mess. Just thinking about it already had me pissed off.
"We're probably going to be tormented by those idiots for a while."
"Wasn't giving permission enough?"
"Of course not. That plan wasn't even proper."
"Ah?"
"...Basically, if we want this thing to actually run, we have to fix every single problem ourselves."
So even though the Black Day event was technically the Dessert Research Club's debut event, the story itself flowed through the Royal Guard and was really a Royal Guard event.
It was the moment the protagonist got close to the Dessert Research Club, and also the event that showed everyone just how much suffering the Royal Guard went through on a daily basis.
"...Fruity, I'm really sorry, but...."
"Yes?"
"...Are you good at eating disgusting things?"
"I don't understand what you mean."
"Hmm, how should I explain this."
I could just recite the name I already knew, but even saying it out loud felt like committing a crime.
It felt like dropping a tactical nuke into a community thread.
"Do you think you could eat mint-chocolate cream mixed with mozzarella cheese, coated in batter and breadcrumbs, then deep-fried into a mint-chocolate cheese katsu?"
"......."
I've never seen Fruity's face rot like that before.