Chapter 29
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 29
Chapter Title: I Love You
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She was afraid to open her eyes.
Crash!!
She hurled the halved bead against the wall.
Anticipating the worst outcome was one thing entirely separate from that worst outcome actually coming to pass.
Even though she'd foreseen it, the shock of it truly happening hit her hard.
"Sob..."
Now she was truly alone in the world.
She wasn't Rike Skadi anymore. She was just Rike.
Alone in the dark room, she couldn't calm down.
She wanted to tear at her hair and claw at her body with her nails.
'I miss him...'
Only one person came to mind.
There wasn't any grand reason.
Just seeing him now felt like it might soothe the madness threatening to consume her.
Boundless affection that didn't even show her his living family.
Unfeigned honesty.
The confidence and freedom she wished she could emulate.
A man who had power yet subtly checked her mood.
So many words she could use to describe him.
Thud!
Forgetting to even put on shoes, Rike bolted barefoot out of the Lofty Academy dormitory.
Every path except the one to Roman's house seemed to be engulfed in flames.
I have to come here, no matter what.
"Huff... huff..."
She clutched her heart, which felt like it might shatter if she let go, and ran through the rain.
'Did the episode progress while I was out of the loop?'
Robert, whom I wasn't controlling and who had his own emotions, was nearly impossible to predict.
It was raining, and it was evening, so it was hard to tell for sure, but nothing seemed to have happened at the academy.
'Where should I go next...'
Even as I pondered my next move and reviewed the book, Rike's face kept floating into my mind, breaking my concentration.
Normally, the story would have her overcome this just fine.
But the resolution had been so drastic that it wouldn't be surprising if problems arose.
Unlike when she'd first seen the contract, she seemed to have steeled her resolve on the way back to the dormitory, but I was still worried.
'Should I head to the academy dormitory right now?'
Maybe pick up some hot milk and stew...
"Argh! This is driving me crazy."
As I flailed around sitting there by myself, I sensed a presence in the yard.
Bang bang bang! Bang bang bang!
Someone was here.
The urgent pounding on the door conveyed desperation.
When I opened it, Rike was standing there, but I couldn't honestly feel joy at the sight.
"...Come in quick."
Barefoot in her uniform, her body soaked to the bone.
Her eyes were bloodshot, and her lips trembled like she was having spasms.
I pulled Rike, who had stepped inside and stood silently at the entrance, to a seat.
"Let's warm you up first so you don't catch a cold. Want me to get you some clothes to change into?"
"..."
She avoided my eyes and said nothing.
I grabbed a towel, stood behind the seated Rike, and dried her hair.
Swish— swish—
'Even short hair takes more effort than a guy's.'
His hands drying her hair were rough but full of care.
He wasn't asking anything, but he had to be wondering why she'd shown up like this, right?
What should she say?
"...I came because I missed you."
Ah— she'd always envied Roman's freedom.
Even after blurting out her thoughts, she couldn't look at his face.
Right now, she was scared to see his expression or emotions.
The moment he rejected her, she really wouldn't be able to hold on.
"I missed you too."
"...I'm glad."
She covered her face with both hands.
Those words made her so happy she could die, but she couldn't open her eyes.
She didn't have the confidence to check if they were true.
If only she didn't know, like everyone else.
If only she could live on guesses without certainty.
"...What's wrong?"
His worried voice reached her.
He stopped drying her hair, saying he'd bring some warm milk.
In that instant, her heart plummeted.
Right now, she just wanted to cling to him without anything else.
"W-wait a second!!!"
She jumped up from the chair and hugged him tight to keep him from going anywhere.
Roman didn't push away her rain-soaked body; instead, he stroked her head and patted her back.
"Rike. Why aren't you looking at my face like usual?"
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Please just hold me..."
She stayed buried in Roman's arms for a long time.
He kept repeating that it was okay, soothing her.
"Roman..."
"Yeah?"
"You..."
Saying exactly what she wanted wasn't something done with ordinary courage.
Rike's mind hit a screeching halt, sealing her lips.
"It's okay. Take your time until your thoughts settle. I'm not going anywhere."
Questions whose answers terrified her wouldn't get spoken, no matter how much time passed.
Rike retreated one step and chose the next best option.
"...Hold me tonight."
Even as she said it, her arms tightened around him. She knew this wasn't the picture she truly wanted.
But if he wanted her, that would be enough.
'This isn't it...'
Of course I'd hold her.
I'm not the type to kick away an opportunity like this. But this wasn't the atmosphere I wanted.
How does a guy comfort a delicate creature like a woman?
Just holding her didn't seem like it would solve anything.
"Come here."
As I tried to move while holding her, Rike tensed her legs and wouldn't budge.
"Please answer... It's okay for me to stay tonight, right?"
I could feel the rigid anxiety in Rike's arms around me.
Her face was completely buried; she had no intention of looking up.
I scooped up the feather-light Rike and sat on the chair with her.
She naturally settled on my left thigh.
'This is nice.'
Even damp, the feel was exquisite.
"Eek!"
I grabbed both her cheeks as she tried to bury her face again.
"Rike. You have something you want to ask me, right?"
At my words, Rike's eyes shook violently.
Then she squeezed them shut.
"I'm scared... I can't look... Please..."
"Rike, look at me."
Rike shook her head vigorously.
"I know what you're thinking right now... Don't worry. It'll be fine."
"Easy for you to say... How can it be... Nothing in this world goes my way..."
Why else would the phrase "love at first sight" exist? Time doesn't solely determine the depth of emotions.
The human heart isn't that one-dimensional or simple.
"The time we've spent getting to know each other is short, but that doesn't make the feelings we've developed any lighter. Right?"
"For me, it is..."
She nodded faintly.
"Rike. Same for me."
"..."
"I love you."
Rike's body trembled at my words.
Then tears began streaming from between her tightly shut eyes.
"I can't look... I wanted to hear that so bad... But it's so scary... Scary..."
She'd seen all kinds of people up close by now.
Differences between facades and true selves were all too common.
"Don't you love me, Rike?"
"...No!! This is definitely... definitely... love..."
Even crying, with her face flushing red, she was unbearably lovable.
I wrapped my arm around her waist where she sat on my thigh and pulled her close.
Rike yielded to my touch without resistance.
"Have I ever lied to you, Rike?"
She grabbed my hand on her waist and shook her head side to side.
"Can't you trust me just this once and look? It makes me a little sad if you don't know my heart."
At the word "sad," she startled and cracked her eyes open slightly.
"Rike. Look here."
"..."
"I love you."
What were the odds that the man she adored felt the same way?
Even without dating experience, Rike knew those odds weren't high.
And after such a short time knowing his face, how could his heart match hers?
Wouldn't the feelings she'd developed in that brief span seem too frivolous?
Maybe he'd even see it as him using her, a Platinum adventurer.
It terrified her.
What expression would he make if she thought that?
Just imagining an event that hadn't happened was enough to scare her.
So she'd thought being held would suffice.
Clinging to Roman would let her endure today's pain.
That's what she'd thought.
"Can't you trust me just this once and look? It makes me a little sad if you don't know my heart."
At his words about being sad, she unwittingly opened her eyes.
Too late to stop; her eyes had already taken him in.
"I love you."
And she saw.
It was hard to believe even seeing it.
"You... really... really love me?"
Unable to believe it, she opened her eyes wide and looked at Roman.
She wanted to hear it once more.
Crack!
The lump inside her shattered, bringing a sense of liberation.
The girl reflected once again on the kind of person she truly was.
"I love you."
"...I'm not even nobility anymore, and I have nothing... but you still love me?"
Even hearing it, she wanted it once more.
"Yeah. My feelings haven't changed."
"...Say you love me."
"I love you."
"I... I love you too."
Her pounding heart felt like it would leap out of her chest.
The world, draining to black and white, regained its colors.
"Can you see my heart?"
Seeing Roman's innocent smile, she smiled too.
It was like a brilliant sun rising in a sky choked with gloomy storm clouds.
"It's so bright and vivid it's dazzling..."
"Guess that's how much I like you, Rike."
"Not 'like'—say 'love'."
"Guess that's how much I love you?"
A flood of emotional fullness welled up. This was a first in her life.
She couldn't control her rising lips.
Starting from her mind, the flames spread to her body, heating her to the point of madness.
"Hurry... I can't hold back anymore, so kiss me first."