The Clear-Eyed Lunatic
Yoon Hayoung. That was the name written on her school uniform nametag. She was wearing a uniform, so she was probably a student... and that was the full extent of what I knew about this kid. We'd met for the first time today. On a bus, of all places, by pure chance.
"......"
"Whyyy...?"
Still, just in case.
"Do you... know me, by any chance?"
"Hmmm..."
She leaned in even closer, studying my face with intense concentration, then gave a firm little shake of her head.
"Nope. First time seeing you today..."
So we were in the same boat. Confirmed. But then why... was she being this rude? To someone she'd just met today?
The eyes studying me so intently were strangely, almost unnaturally transparent — so clear they sparkled as if someone had set gemstones into her sockets. It was the kind of gaze that looked ready to fire lasers at any second. And yet there wasn't a trace of anything impure in them. Just pure, unfiltered light. Her face was cute in a puppy-ish way, too, which somehow kept the whole thing from feeling unpleasant.
"Ah! If I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry!"
She suddenly dipped her head in a proper, formal apology. The abrupt about-face caught me more off guard than the staring had.
"......"
"I'm actually... from Gangwon-do, so my accent and the way I talk might come off a little strong..."
That was definitely not the problem here.
"I only got to Seoul yesterday. Oppa, where's your hometown?"
"...Seoul."
I had no idea why I was answering her questions so diligently.
"Ooooh, a Seoul guy, of course!? Oppa, is Seoul just packed with handsome guys like you?"
"Beats me..."
I kept giving her short answers out of sheer laziness... and yet, somehow, the conversation just kept going.
"So how old are you, Oppa?"
"I'm..."
"No! Let me guess! Hmmm..."
"......"
Ah... I think I get it now. I'd heard a term for this kind of person somewhere before.
What was it again...
"You seem older than me... wait, no, your face looks super baby-faced though... you're not actually not an oppa, right?"
"......"
"Don't tell me you're younger than me!?"
Ah. That was the word.
Clear-Eyed Lunatic.
But people like that actually existed? If this wasn't a bit, it was kind of terrifying...
"Oppa, how old are you?"
"I..."
"You're not a student, right!?"
"......"
Could I get a word in here? I wanted to answer, but she talked two, three times faster than I did.
"I'm eighteen this year... so, up from me? Or down?"
"...Up."
"Kyaa, I knew it! So nineteen...?"
"Up."
This wasn't Twenty Questions. I still had no idea why I was answering so earnestly. She had this strange, magnetic pull to her — like she just drew you in.
"Then wait, are you thirty...? Holy crap!"
"...You think?"
There was no in-between with this kid.
"Twen—"
"HOOOOLY—!"
Was that really something to be this shocked about? Her eyes went huge. Both hands clamped over her mouth. Those clear, unhinged eyes got even bigger.
"No way...!"
No way what?
"......"
"Whoa, Oppa, you look so young."
"...Thanks."
Her round eyes drooped with her smile. Cheeks so white and soft they looked like fresh rice cakes. She had the energy of a little white puppy wagging its tail right in your face, begging to be pet. First impression and the way she talked: total nutjob. Appearance: pretty cute. That about summed it up.
"Heheh, Oppa. Guess what I do for a living."
And just like that, a quiz show had begun.
"Student."
"Ooh, half right, half wrong."
So she had another job besides being a student. What could that be...
"Comedian?"
She scrunched her eyes up all cute and went dead serious.
"Whaaat!? Oppa... would a pretty, cute girl like me be a comedian!?"
"...You just dissed every comedian in the country, you know that?"
She flailed her hands in a panic.
"Aaah! N-no, I-I'm sorry! That was a mistake! Cancel, cancel!"
Watching her, I couldn't help but snort out a laugh. She still looked like a comedian to me, though.
"Bzzzt! Wrong! My job is not comedian! You have two guesses left!"
"Aspiring comedian. Or a comedy trainee."
The way I'd been an idol trainee. A comedy trainee had to be it, right? Apparently not. She scrunched her brow all over again.
"Ugh... I told you it's not... that's not it at all... completely wrong. Think a little bigger."
"Hmm..."
Why was I even... I was genuinely, seriously trying to get this right.
"Heh, want a hint?"
"Sure."
"Alright, first hint!"
The clear-eyed lunatic of a kid cupped her chin in both hands like a little flower, blinking those big eyes at me with an aggressively cute expression.
"Ah, I think I gave too much of a hint. At this point I basically just told you the answer..."
"......"
"So? The answer is...?"
I had absolutely no idea. If I tried to deduce it from everything I'd learned so far... younger than me. Occupation: student. Hometown: Gangwon-do. Appearance: cute. Personality: energetic, but zero social awareness. And she had another job besides being a student...? If I actually got this right, I ought to be a shaman, not an actor.
"Woom, want one more hint?"
"Yeah."
The clear-eyed lunatic of a kid smirked, then quietly stood up from her seat.
"Ah, this is my first time doing this on a bus..."
She lifted both arms, then started swaying her body in this weird, wriggling dance, humming a melody through her lips.
"Dan dan-dan-dan~♫ Dan dan-dan-dan~♫"
My eyes flew wide. I knew that melody. I'd definitely seen that dance before.
"Wait...!?"
"Heh, you figured it out? Dan-dan-dan-dan~♫"
"That dance is..."
"It's the Zero Two."
Right. The dance that had been all the rage a while back. Zero Two. At this point, I thought I had it. I raised my hand with total confidence.
"I've got it!"
"And the answer is...?"
"Dancer."
The kid's brow furrowed again.
"Eeeh?"
"...It's not?"
Not a dancer? Then why did she dance as a hint? From what I'd just seen, her dance lines were actually pretty clean. Back when I was an idol trainee, the company choreographer had always hammered that one word: lines.
"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"
"Then what is it..."
"Ah... want a last hint? Or should I just tell you?"
"...Give me the last hint."
"Okaaay, then..."
The clear-eyed girl turned toward me, dipped her head in a little bow, and hit me with a line, beaming that sunny smile.
"Thanks for the donations, chat~!"
"Huh...?"
"I'll do the Zero Two as a reaction. Dan-dan-dan-dan~♫"
Ah... now I got it. I finally knew what this kid's other job was.
"YouTuber...?"
"Ding-dong-ding! You finally got it. Phew, that was exhausting. So exhausting. Oppa, people tell you you're slow on the uptake a lot, don't they?"
"......"
It was so absurd I actually laughed. A job I genuinely had not seen coming.
"Do you stream too, Oppa?"
"Huh? YouTube?"
"Yep."
"Nah, I don't do that kind of thing."
I'd wanted to try it at least once, but I never had. Company policy: get caught doing personal broadcasts and you were out on the spot.
"Why not? If you started streaming, the noonas would go crazy for you..."
"Me? Why?"
"Well, for starters... Oppa, that face card of yours is insane."
Face card...? I'd never heard the word before. But watching her swipe a hand down her own face, I got the general idea.
"Get popular and you can make a crazy amount of money."
"I'm not really interested in that."
"Whyyy? You don't like money, Oppa? My grandma always said people who say they don't like money aren't right in the head, and you should stay away from them..."
"......"
I liked money. But.
"For me... my dream comes before money."
"Hoooooly, that line was fire..."
I hated how proud I felt at her praise... but still. I had a goal.
"So what's your dream, Oppa?"
"My dream is..."
Right then.
Screeech—
The bus stopped at a station, and the doors opened. The clear-eyed lunatic of a kid shot up from her seat in a panic.
"Eek! I gotta get off here... Handsome Oppa! Bye-bye! See ya!"
"......"
Just like that? She was supposed to hear what my dream was first.
"Ah, Driver! Wait a second! Open the door! There's still someone getting off!"
Having barely made it off the bus, the clear-eyed kid let out a sigh of relief and waved at me with both hands, going at it for all she was worth. I snorted a little laugh and gave her a small wave back.
I was an introvert. I couldn't just walk up to people the way that kid just had. I wanted to become an actor with that kind of bright, positive energy. I should start working on it from now on.
Thanks to that little brat, I'd laughed a lot this morning. A YouTuber? What was her name again...? Was she actually famous? We'd only just met today, but it felt like I'd known her for years — that easy familiarity. Even that was probably a talent, wasn't it...? Not just anyone could be a YouTuber, I guess...
I was gazing out the window at the scenery sliding by in slow motion, lost in my own little haze of feeling, when—
"Huh...?"
A familiar sight outside the window. Our company building. The Wooju Entertainment Building shot past right in front of my eyes like a photograph.
"Shit..."
I'd been so distracted by that kid I hadn't even noticed we'd arrived. I shot up from my seat, startled, and raised my voice the same way that kid had just done with the driver.
"Driver! Stop the bus! I need to get off here!"
Even with my urgent voice, the driver just looked at me, completely unbothered.
"Press the bell."
"......"
In the end, the bus went a whole extra stop before it finally spat me back out into the world. It felt like another razor-thin day of mine was just getting started, and I was weirdly excited about it.
The dawn air was pretty refreshing. Normally I'd still be dead asleep at the dorm right about now. It was so early it wasn't even 7 AM yet, and the streets around me were quiet. I don't think I'd ever gotten to the company this early before.
It wasn't that I hadn't worked hard during my trainee years. But if I'd cut back on sleep a little more, tried a little harder... would the result have been different? A meaningless hypothetical, of course. This was a place where you had to prove yourself with results to become a pretty little product.
Lost in thought, I walked for about ten minutes and found myself in front of the company. I looked up at the building stretching into the sky, and made the same firm resolution I always did.
If I made a name for myself as Wooju Entertainment's first actor, the people who'd looked down on me would have to see me differently. I wanted to prove it, too. To the CEO, and to Mom. The only two people in the world who believed in me... I never wanted to let them down.
Luckily, another chance had come. I'd debut spectacularly as Choi Dooshik, make a name for myself, and then...
"Huh?"
My feet, which had been carrying me toward the company front gate, stopped dead. A familiar back. I'd only met her today, and yet that back already felt far too familiar. I still didn't know her name. She was standing at our company entrance, head bowed, fiddling with her phone, doing who-knows-what all by herself.
I walked up and tapped her lightly on the shoulder.
Tap-tap.
"Huh? Hoooooly! O-Oppa!? Running into you here again... when coincidence keeps repeating, that's called...?"
"...Called what?"
"D-destiny...!?"
"......"
She always exceeded my expectations.
"What are you doing here?"
"Hm? Ah... I'm supposed to go inside this company, but... the security uncle turned me away 'cause I don't have a pass."
"Why would you be going in here?"
Obviously not just anyone could walk into the company. You either had official clearance and a pass as a trainee, like me. Or.
"Oh, Jinwoo!"
The security guard spotted me and came over with a bright smile.
"Did the sun rise in the west today? Why are you coming in this early?"
"Good morning, sir."
The security guard clapped me on the shoulder, still smiling.
"Haha, you've been working real hard lately."
If you clocked in a greeting with the security guard every morning and evening for five years the way I had, you got a free pass even without an ID.
"Whoa, Oppa... you're close with the security uncle?"
"Eh, sort of..."
"Oppa... could you maybe get me inside?"
"What are you trying to do in the company?"
Usually it was one of two things. A sasaeng fan, or a reporter. She definitely wasn't a reporter, and she'd said her other job was YouTuber, so... don't tell me...
I looked at the kid, my expression going serious.
"Hey. You can't film inside the company. You'll get in huge trouble..."
"Hm? Ah, no. Even I have enough sense not to do something like that."
"Then why are you trying to get in?"
"I... I have an audition scheduled for today..."
"What kind of audition?"
"A girl group audition."
"......"
For a moment, silence. My words just... stopped.
"You...?"
"Eeeh? Why not me? With a face like mine, a girl group's totally doable, right?"
"......"
"Oppa, I'm more popular than you'd think..."
My head tilted on its own. The kid tilted hers right back at me.
"Whyy? If you don't believe me, want proof? Do you know how many subscribers my channel has?"
"How many..."
"Don't be shocked. Currently, a whopping... 349."
"......"
Was three hundred a lot? Didn't you usually need like a million subscribers before people called you famous?
"So anyway... Oppa, could you subscribe to my channel real quick?"
"......"
"If you subscribe, I'll hit exactly 350... heheh."
"So... you came to our company today to audition for a girl group."
"Yep."
"You haven't been accepted as a trainee yet?"
"Nope. Not yet. That's why I'm sooo nervous right now. If I don't pass, I have to go back to Gangwon-do... boo-hoo."
She did a fake-crying act with a face that looked not even remotely sad.