Come to My Place
Younghoon faced the camera and dipped his head in a deep, earnest bow.
"Everyone, please go subscribe to the Yoonderella channel! It doesn't cost a thing, so just tap that button once for me! I'm begging you!"
Hayoung's YouTube channel filled the jumbotron from edge to edge.
That was all it took. A few seconds of promotion, and the count that had been sitting at three hundred forty-nine blew past five hundred. Hayoung's eyes went so wide they looked ready to pop out of her head.
"Hwaaah! H-holy crap!"
"Hwah...!?"
"A-a thousand!?"
It had taken less than thirty seconds to smash through a thousand subscribers. She had poured two full years into gathering three hundred forty-nine.
"Holy crap..."
"Hayoung... if you take first today, you'll have to do an encore. Think you can manage that?"
"Obviously. Easy peasy."
The response had already blown past every expectation Younghoon had. Even if she didn't take first, he wanted that encore. Thumbnail titles were already drifting through his head like balloons.
Five million views, easy...
A few years of YouTubing had honed his instincts to something downright shamanic. He could glance at a concept now and call the view count before the video even went up.
The Yoonderella subscriber count slipped past two thousand before anyone quite noticed.
"Hayoung, you're at two thousand right now... I'll squeeze this audience dry if I have to, but I will get you to ten thousand."
"Huuuh?! T-ten thousand?"
"I'm Younghoon. Two million subscribers. Just trust me."
"Th-thank you so much!"
The little promo interlude wrapped, and it was time to read the vote.
"All right, then... here come the results!"
Younghoon bellowed it at the camera, spun on his heel with a flourish, and stabbed a finger at the jumbotron.
"And the result is...!?"
Twenty-five thousand people...?
The turnout had just set an all-time record. As if that weren't enough, the live viewer count smashed through forty-five thousand. Every mark the show had ever posted was getting steamrolled in a single night — all because of one kid who'd walked on last.
He'd taken her for a gag character. She was an absurdly gifted performer. Whether she could actually overtake Han Jisu was another question. The active singer had been on a tear lately, and the score she'd left behind tonight was already historic.
The audience's ears were merciless; Younghoon hadn't even expected Han Jisu to clear ninety. Flip that around, though, and it only proved how monstrous her set had been. Everyone who had ever broken ninety on this show had been a famous singer.
If this kid cleared ninety too...
That would be a legend all by itself. The first civilian contestant in the show's history to break ninety. A brand-new record.
And if he juiced the wording a little harder...
He could stamp out a pile of five-star thumbnails with a clickbait score of nine or higher. He could cut more than ten Shorts out of this alone. No matter how the vote landed, he was walking away a winner.
I love this job...?
The results flashed up on the jumbotron.
1. Nailed It. (96.7%)
2. Didn't Land. (3.3%)
"Ah..."
Younghoon's eyes flew wide. At the same instant, a roar detonated through the venue, applause crashing in right behind it.
"Holy shiiit! That's insane!"
"Wow... ninety-six is the first time that's ever happened in this show's history... Yoonderella! Congratulations, truly!"
"Thank you! But technically it's 96.7. Round it up and that's ninety-seven..."
"Haha, ninety-seven it is! I'll allow it! Everyone! Please go smash that subscribe button on Yoonderella's YouTube channel! I'm begging you!"
We wrapped the encore without a hitch and started the walk home.
"Eheheheh! Ohohoho!"
Hayoung was so giddy she looked ready to levitate. Her tiny hands fussed over her phone, hammering refresh on the channel every second on the second.
"Ohhh, yesss! Oppa! The sub count just went up again! Oh, one more! Yes!"
A real smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.
"Hayoung."
"Yeees?"
"You know how hard I was cheering for you, right?"
"Obviously. I only took first because of you, oppa."
"Heh..."
I shrugged, smug, and hiked her slipping backpack higher onto my shoulder. I was facing forward, walking light, when her voice floated up from behind me.
"Oppa. Hold up a sec."
"Hm?"
Hayoung narrowed her eyes and gave me a long, assessing look.
"Heh. We've still got to settle up before you go."
"Huh?"
She held out a crisp white envelope. The prize money.
"Oh. You're actually giving it to me?"
"Pfft, of course. We made a deal... you think I'd pull a dine-and-dash on you?"
"Wow... Hayoung, I didn't have you pegged like that..."
"What exactly did you have me pegged as..."
Truth be told, I'd halfway given up after hearing Han Jisu sing.
"One million won for you, oppa. The other million's mine. Heheh."
I wasn't entirely sure I should take it. I took it anyway.
"Thanks..."
"Heheh. Don't mention it."
"This is a full million, right? You didn't peel off a bill or two?"
I'd meant it as a joke. Hayoung's brow scrunched on reflex.
"Oh my god... Oppa, are you seriously doubting me right now?"
"Obviously I'm kidding..."
It just felt awkward, taking allowance from a kid younger than me. That was the only reason I'd said it.
"Hayoung, what are you going to do with your half?"
"Hmm... I was going to give Mom and Grandma five hundred thousand each."
"Then what about you...?"
"I'm fine. I'm a student. What do I need money for? The company even feeds us for free..."
"......"
I shouldn't have asked. The way she said it made taking the money feel even worse. Not about to lose, I summoned my own mother.
"Then I guess I'll give mine to my mom as allowance too..."
"Wow, oppa, you're so nice."
I was just copying you...
I huffed a quiet laugh and faced forward again. Night had settled in around us without my noticing. The day felt like it had stretched on forever.
Back when I was a trainee, I never even registered time passing. Every day had been a copy of the one before it. I'd been in middle school, and then I blinked and I was twenty. A little taller than before — and that was it. Nothing else about me had changed at all...
If I'd had a talent like Hayoung's...
Would I have debuted?
I'd given up on being a singer, but I didn't regret it. I liked acting now.
I was walking lost in that thought when Hayoung jabbed a finger into my back.
"Oppa."
"Hm?"
"So where are you going now?"
"Where else? Home."
"Oh, right. But I..."
"Where's your hotel?"
"Um... I can catch a bus in front of our company, but... which number was it..."
She poked at her phone, searching hard.
"Ah! Oppa. I can take a bus from here and get all the way to the hotel."
"Yeah? Perfect. I'll walk you to the stop."
"Ah, you don't have to... thank you!"
About five minutes of walking put us in front of the bus stop.
"Oppa, my bag. You can give it back now..."
"Oh. Right."
I handed over the backpack I'd been carrying so diligently.
"What's even in this thing?"
"Just a few clothes."
No wonder it had felt so light.
"You didn't bring a suitcase?"
"I figured I might not pass, so I just packed whatever."
"Ah..."
"I'll go down this week and bring the rest up. Ooh, one more subscriber!"
She seemed happier about the climbing sub count than she did about winning the prize money.
That was when I spotted him — a bald guy in the distance, weaving toward us on unsteady legs. He'd clearly had far too much to drink. He could barely keep himself upright, and he was bellowing anyway.
"Ah, fuck! This world's a piece of shit! That bastard Manager Kim!"
Hayoung and I both startled, trading a silent, wary look. Fortunately, the bald guy lurched right past us. Hayoung pressed a hand to her chest and let out a long breath of relief.
"Whew... Oppa, Seoul has way too many drunk people. I saw a guy just like that at the jjimjilbang yesterday..."
"......"
The bald drunk, still staggering, whipped his head around and glared at us.
"Hey. What did you just say... That was about me, wasn't it?"
"Eek! N-no! I wasn't talking about you, mister..."
The drunk weaved closer, closing in on Hayoung.
"You think I didn't hear that!? You know how good my ears are...? My nickname is Dog Nose!"
"...N-nose? Don't you mean ears?"
"What!? This bitch keeps talking back!"
He roared and lurched forward. Hayoung squeezed her eyes shut tight.
"Hey, kid, you—"
I stepped in front of him.
"Huh? The hell are you? Get out of my face!"
"Mister. If you've had that much to drink, just keep walking the way you were going."
"You little shit, who do you think you are... You got a death wish or something!?"
"Haa..."
"Haa? You little—"
The bald drunk cocked his arm and swung at me. I caught his wrist on the way in and gave it a light twist.
"Aaagh! Aaaagh! Let go!"
I hadn't even put any force into it. The theatrics were something else.
"You've clearly had a lot. Just go home..."
"Y-you... that was assault just now, wasn't it!?"
"......"
The strength in my hand was just starting to slacken when Hayoung's voice cut in from the side.
"Oppa, don't worry! I've been recording this whole time!"
She had her phone up, video rolling.
"I already called the cops too!"
She wasn't bluffing. The police showed up a moment later. The second they did, the bald guy dropped onto the pavement and started playing the victim.
"Urgh, o-officers. Th-that guy twisted my arm and assaulted me, so..."
"Let's take this down to the station."
"......"
And that was how I rode in a police car for the first time in my life. First time at a police station, too.
The bald guy kept wearing this wounded, indignant look, pleading his case to the officer for all he was worth. The video evidence must have done the talking, though, because he folded fast — hands neatly folded in his lap, suddenly the picture of manners.
"Sir, looking at the footage, you're the one who picked the fight. These kids could be your children. What do you think you're doing..."
"I'm sorry..."
"If this young lady had decided to be cruel about it and pinned a harassment charge on you... that would've been the end of your life, right then and there. Please stop drinking and get ahold of yourself."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to these students."
The bald guy stood, turned to Hayoung and me, and bowed his head all the way down.
"Kids. I really am sorry... I had far too much to drink, and I..."
We took the apology and walked out of the Local Police Station. Today had been genuinely unhinged from start to finish.
"Ugh, if it weren't for that officer, I totally would've thrown down with Baldy under Yacha Rules... so close..."
"......"
"One Stone Potato Uppercut and it would've been over... wow, Yoon Hayoung held back so much today... if that officer hadn't been there I would've just—"
You're the one who called the cops faster than anyone.
...I almost said it.
"Augh, my blood's getting hot!"
"Hayoung, you're the one who needs to hold back..."
"Ah, yessir. I'm the one who has to hold back. Heheh."
I looked at her without saying anything. If I hadn't been there a minute ago...
"Whyyy? Oppa, you wanna see my Stone Potato Uppercut? Want me to show you!?"
"No. I'm good..."
She was already shadowboxing the air, fists pumping like a cat batting at nothing.
"Whoosh! Whoosh! Dodge once, whoosh! Whoosh!"
She was doing her own sound effects, mouth and all. Her voice was good enough that the little whoosh-whoosh noises actually sounded like the real thing.
"Whoosh! Swish! Dodge, then BAM — Stone Potato Uppercut right to the melon! Done."
"Hayoung."
"Yeees?"
"You... just..."
The more I thought about it, the less I could let this stand.