Our Academy's Chairwoman is a Vicious Shipping Addict
After the long continental war came to an end, the continent became a land of opportunity. New shoots of civilization sprouted atop the ruins of the old order, an age where individual talent and ability mattered more than bloodline or family name. Of course, this was largely because most of the nobility had perished during the Human-Demon War and the Continental War, but still—good things were good things.
Even among such lands of opportunity, the place that offered the greatest chances was none other than Rosen Academy. It could hardly be otherwise, given the immense weight carried by the name of its founder and patron.
Ah, there was her statue. Elina von Rosen.
Archmage. Hero of two wars. Guardian of humanity. The Great Sage who slew the Demon King. Historians and bards had heaped countless grandiose titles upon her, yet as the years passed, all those epithets came to be seen as mere excess. In the end, only three words remained before her name: the Great Sage. The living legend who personally oversaw the academy she had founded, gathering and teaching the continent's most promising talents. A sacred place of learning where even the Holy Kingdom's prince and the clergy of Tarento bowed their heads on entrance day. That was the prestige of Rosen Academy.
Yet this dazzling ivory tower was famous for more than its academic achievements or political standing.
"Hey, did you hear? Last year, a count's daughter from the Magic Faculty and a commoner knight cadet from the Knight Faculty got officially engaged on graduation day."
"Don't even get me started. The year before that, a merchant's son from the Republic and an imperial baron's daughter locked eyes at the night market and—"
Amid the lively procession of new students, hushed whispers floated through the air. Indeed, Rosen Academy was renowned as a "holy land of beautiful love stories," where youths from different social classes crossed the barriers of status to find romance within its free-spirited walls. Tales of noble and commoner students becoming lovers and graduating hand in hand, like something out of a fairy tale.
…Not that I enrolled in this prestigious academy with any such impure intentions, of course.
Rine, a first-year Bard major in the Art Faculty, shook her head with flushed cheeks and tried to banish the stray thoughts. She absolutely hadn't. Truly. But as she looked around, the campus was filled with stunningly handsome boys and girls who looked as though they had stepped out of paintings. The heart of this mere country bumpkin began to pound against her will.
The feeling lasted only a moment. Watching the ornate carriages emblazoned with noble crests and the elegant young ladies chatting and laughing with refined poise, Rine's shoulders gradually slumped. A commoner girl from the countryside who had scraped by playing a single lyre, somehow lucky enough to enter as a scholarship student. Did she really belong among such radiant youths? Would someone as plain and insignificant as her end up hovering awkwardly on the edges, forever mindful of the nobles' glances?
"Haa…"
Slipping rapidly into a gloomy mood, Rine forced the corners of her mouth upward and trudged forward with heavy steps.
"Next! Art Faculty, Bard major, first-year student Rine!"
"Ah, yes! Yes! I'm here!"
When her name was called at the outdoor reception desk in front of the main building, Rine hurried over in a fluster. Receiving a thick academy guidebook, an eco-bag filled with essential magical supplies for new students, and her dormitory assignment certificate from the administrative assistant, she finally began to feel that she had truly been accepted into the Great Sage's academy.
"Next student, please…"
Of course, she wasn't allowed to savor the feeling for long before being ushered away.
Even with the loneliness and tension of being left alone in an unfamiliar place, the scenery unfolding before her was dazzling enough to swallow such timid emotions whole. Between centuries-old stone buildings floated mana streetlamps etched with precise magical formulas, glowing softly in midair. Flowerbeds bloomed with mysterious blossoms that scattered violet mana dust regardless of season.
"Wow… This really is a place overflowing with magic."
Rine's eyes sparkled as she gently touched the lyre inside her bag. If she studied here, perhaps she really could become a splendid bard who composed wonderful songs. Even just wandering alone, there was so much to see that she lost track of time.
After walking for quite a while, entranced by the magnificent botanical gardens and the stately colonnades, Rine suddenly came to her senses and stopped in her tracks.
"…Huh?"
The campus, which moments ago had been filled with the murmurs and lively noise of new students, had fallen deathly silent. Looking around, the grand and beautiful faculty buildings she had seen earlier were nowhere to be found. Only a dark, secluded slope overgrown with thick vines and dense foliage remained.
"Huh?"
Cold sweat trickled down her cheek. Rine hurriedly pulled out the new student guidebook and checked the academy map. But the buildings drawn on the map were far too numerous and complex, and the real-time route-finding magic unique to magical maps refused to activate at her country-bumpkin mana level, flickering weakly.
"I… got lost."
On the very first day of the academy's official opening. Rine, a timid commoner freshman, had become lost in the heart of the continent's greatest academy before the entrance ceremony had even begun.
"This is bad. This is really, really bad!"
With a tearful face, Rine dashed wildly down the overgrown forest path. The more she ran, the denser the trees became, the path vanishing without a trace. Branches whipped at her clothes and dust kicked up with every step, her mind going blank with panic. She couldn't possibly become a dropout on her very first day and end up the subject of a missing person report.
As she stamped her feet in distress, Rine clutched the instrument case in her arms tightly.
"…Fine! Whatever happens, happens!"
She snatched up the lyre hanging preciously from the side of her bag. It was her only asset, the one thing that had earned her a scholarship from the countryside, and one of the few magics she could wield. If not now, when would she use it?
When Rine lightly plucked the lyre's strings, a wave of mana began to spread from the tips. It was the auditory amplification magic, one of the basic spells taught to Bard majors in the Art Faculty.
Well, if you're a bard who makes music, your ears ought to be several times sharper than everyone else's!
Ssshhh— Beyond the rustling of leaves in the wind and the breathing of nameless creatures, faint voices began to overlap from somewhere far away.
"Found it!"
Rine's face brightened as she hurried up the slope toward the sound. If there were people, there had to be a way out of this hellish maze. But as she drew closer to the bushes where the voices came from, the conversation she overheard was strangely odd.
"You're embarrassed about bathing? Huh?! Are you ashamed of your pure, natural form as born from the great outdoors?!"
"…"
"Think about it! Men and women of different statuses, stealing glances at each other's bare skin through the dark, suggestive steam, blurting out 'Ah, sorry!' with flushed faces in that fleeting moment! Don't you think the pink dopamine that bursts forth from that could save the continent?!"
Reaching the bushes, Rine instinctively hid herself and peeked out. One was a well-built, handsome man in a suit. The other was a tiny child who barely reached the man's waist. The man was pressing his temple with a deep sigh. He looks like he's been through a lot.
"Chairwoman. First, let me ask formally. There are no geothermal hot springs in this area. How exactly do you intend to create one?"
"That's easy! Just heat it with mana stones twenty-four hours a day! And the money it costs is just useless money anyway!"
What do you mean, useless money? Then give it to me and lose it.
"According to Article 3 of the Imperial Hot Springs Act, only naturally emerging hot water of twenty-five degrees Celsius or higher from underground is legally recognized as a hot spring. Water forcibly heated by mana isn't a hot spring—it's just a giant public bath… Besides, mixed-gender hot springs are strictly prohibited under imperial law as a breach of public morals!"
"Aaaagh! Don't interfere with my grand pink plan! I'll grab the Regent by the collar and make him rewrite the imperial law, so just proceed already!"
"Rejected. The Rosen Academy faculty meeting will obviously reject it as well."
"You stubborn blockheads!"
What in the world is this insane talk? Rewriting imperial law just to build a mixed-gender hot spring? And threatening to grab the great Regent of the Magic Empire by the collar? As the horrified Rine leaned forward for a better look, a dry twig snapped beneath her foot.
Crack!
"Huh?"
Having lost her balance, and unfortunately not being very athletic, Rine tumbled out of the bushes in a miserable roll.
"Ow, ow ow ow…!"
After rolling across the muddy ground without even a proper breakfall, Rine rubbed her backside and looked up. In the silence, the two people who had been bickering moments ago turned their gazes toward her in unison.
Up close, the man was so handsome it was almost dizzying. Broad shoulders, sharp gray eyes that gleamed coldly and intelligently behind slightly crooked glasses.
Huh…? I've seen this person in the newspaper before.
A page from the imperial gazette flashed through Rine's mind. The legendary knight who had risen to the position of Knight Commander of the Holy Kingdom at the youngest age in history, only to retire abruptly and shock the entire continent.
Karl?!
Setting aside the question of why this legendary Knight Commander was here in the middle of the woods humoring a child, Karl approached the dirt-covered Rine and extended a hand.
"Are you injured, student?"
"Ah… N-no, I'm fine!"
I'll never wash my right hand again, Rine thought as she hurriedly grasped his callused hand and stood up.
"This area is restricted to general students. How did you end up so deep inside?"
"Well… After finishing the entrance registration, I was looking around and… I completely lost my way…"
As Rine answered in a shrinking voice, Karl pushed up his glasses with a deep sigh. Then he shot a sharp glance at the purple-haired child huffing behind him.
"Chairwoman. I told you, didn't I? Setting up a Cognitive Deterioration Barrier that makes people lose their sense of direction the moment they enter the forest won't create any Suspension Bridge Effect among the youths. As you can see, it only produces ordinary victims who get lost and stranded."
"Tch… The angle must have been a little off. Next time, I'll mix in a bit more mana and—"
"There will be no next time."
Cutting off the child's words like a blade, Karl brushed the dust from Rine's clothes.
"My apologies for startling you, student. I'll guide you to the main building via a safe shortcut, so please don't worry."
"Ah, thank you…"
Rine bowed repeatedly, letting out a sigh of relief. What a kind and wonderful knight. As expected of the continent's greatest knight, his dignity is on another level.
But in that moment, a strange question crossed Rine's mind.
…Huh?
Just now, what had this former Knight Commander called the purple-haired child?
[Chairwoman]
Who was the chairwoman of Rosen Academy again? The founder, hero of two wars, guardian of humanity, the Great Sage who slew the Demon King…
Rine's gaze slowly turned toward the child. Violet hair swaying in the breeze, pointed half-elf ears twitching with excitement, and refined features. It was the exact same face as the massive bronze statue she had seen at the academy's main gate.
Elina von Rosen.
The continent's greatest living legend was now puffing out her cheeks and whining at Karl right in front of her.
"Karl! You're being too mean! If we build a mixed-gender hot spring in the forest, couples will pop up everywhere! They'll get all lovey-dovey and do all sorts of embarrassing things!"
"Be quiet. Return to the administrative office at once. And with a new student standing right here, couldn't you at least put on some kind of mask?"
"No! I'm the Chairwoman! The Great Sage! I'll throw a tantrum until you approve the mixed bathing plan!"
"I will cut the budget."
"Aaaagh! I was wrong! Please, anything but the budget!!"
The grand and radiant cradle of learning, Rosen Academy. Its master, the Great Sage Elina von Rosen, was… a shipping addict of unimaginable viciousness who crumbled at the mere threat of budget cuts.