8. Disqualified as a Human
8. Disqualified as a Human
Knock, knock.
The door swung open.
"I have come in."
"...Why are you coming in when I didn't give you permission? No, and you already came in before saying you'd come in... no, what? You have come in? What's that supposed to be?"
"Because you wouldn't permit me to come in, Lady Eli."
"You knew that and still came in?"
"I came in because I knew."
"How the hell are you picking the lock on a locked door and getting in?"
It may have been a bit rude to Lady Eli, but without doing this, I couldn't see her face, so I had no choice but to force my way in.
"That's classified. More importantly, my lady."
"...Now what."
"It's all right."
I had meant to say that, as they say, children grow through fighting.
But I knew Lady Eli hates being called a child, so I held my tongue.
"What's all right... no, forget it. I get it, so get out. Once I've sorted out my thoughts, I'll come out on my own."
"It has already been four days since you said that. His Grace the Duke and Lady Julie are both very worried. Eurasia also asks about your wellbeing constantly. Sir Kerion is leaving again the day after tomorrow, so wouldn't it be good to at least say goodbye?"
Four days.
After the sparring match she attended with the Duke and Sir Kerion, Lady Eli had not come out of her room for four days.
The reason was.
I heard that during the spar with Eurasia Espirot, she had shown an attack laced with killing intent toward her, and had fallen into guilt because of it.
I cannot fully understand how hard this is for her, but I can understand it to some extent.
I had a similar experience when I was young.
Not even in a spar, but in an ordinary fight.
So I went a little astray, but I cannot let Lady Eli end up the same way.
"My lady. What happened was not your fault."
"...No, what happened? Stop talking nonsense and get out."
"That was simply something you couldn't help. Everyone else says they're fine, so you only need to regain your spirits."
Lady Eli, who had been quietly looking at me, closed the book she was reading and sat up.
"Even if other people are fine, I'm not fine."
A hand poked shyly out from between her sleeves.
It was heartbreaking that she had trained so hard with those dainty little hands, yet had fallen into such deep despair over a single mistake.
According to what Eurasia told me, the lady had pulled back the final attack herself.
That means she restrained herself.
Even so, the lady fell into guilt.
She is fragile.
And she has an exceedingly kind heart.
It was an inner heart I would never have expected from her actions up to now.
Was it that the lady—Lady Eliarnes Eustetia, a descendant of a Hero—wanted to resemble her ancestor, Arisa Eustetia?
Had she pushed herself while making such efforts, until she finally broke down?
If so, what should I do?
What could I, as her personal attendant, do to make her smile again without wounding her tender heart?
Would she move if I told her that resting this long would cause muscle loss?
No. That is not something to say to a girl like Lady Eli.
Then, if I gave her the real sword the lady had so wanted—the real sword I have—would she perk up even a little?
That isn't something to say to a girl, either, but if it is a sword of that caliber.
Perhaps.
"My lady."
"Huh."
"I have something to give you."
"What is it?"
"It is a sword."
"...A sword?"
"Yes. I had been keeping it at someone's request, but that person handed it over to me, so it became mine. I have no use for it, so I will give it to you. Haven't you been saying you wanted a real sword?"
Cherry blossoms bloomed in Lady Eli's eyes.
"What kind of sword is it?"
"It is a two-handed sword forged with a mithril base and an adamantium edge."
"That's... definitely a good sword. And they just gave it to you for free?"
"...Yes."
"Huh. That guy's a real piece of work. Is he dead?"
But it only lasted a moment.
As if a storm had swept through the cherry blossom tree, the blossoms instantly scattered.
"...Nah, forget it. I probably can't even use it anyway. I don't need it."
"I will ask the Duke about that. And did Lady Eli not win the spar? That is justification enough."
Lady Eli, who had been quietly thinking over my words, let out a sigh and clutched the ends of her twin tails.
"No. Even if I want to use it, it's impossible now. That sword... yeah. Just sell it and buy something Sara wants."
Then came something truly awful.
With a pun not even the Duke would make, she burrowed under the covers.
After that, the sound of giggling came from under the covers.
Ah.
This is not normal.
The lady is in a very bad state.
That one remark set off red lights in my head. My voice died down, and my tongue raised a white flag.
As an attendant, I no longer had any way to help. Bitter with frustration, I clenched my fists and bowed.
"...Understood. The sword... I will give it to you anytime, so just say the word. And you are no sinner, my lady. You are House Eustetia's precious cherry blossom."
"If you say so."
Poke—the dainty hand stuck out.
The fingers at the end wriggled and waved back and forth.
"Anyway, when the time comes, I'll come out on my own, so don't worry too much."
"...I will be waiting."
Chewing over a bitter sense of helplessness, I went straight to Lady Julie.
*****
As Sara said, it's not my fault.
I mean, I wasn't born because I wanted to be born as a chimpanzee.
I just took the blow in place of the chimpanzee, died, and came back—only now I'm the chimpanzee.
"Haaaah..."
I let out a sigh from the depths of my Dantian and came out from under the covers.
I don't need a sword anymore.
It's become unnecessary.
Since it was mithril and adamantium, I thought, 'Maybe it could withstand my Mana?' But it won't.
If it were a Sacred Relic, maybe, but ordinary weapons will definitely shatter. My Mana is incompatible with things I can hold in my hands.
I've confirmed it myself.
When everyone was asleep, I secretly went to the training hall and swung a few weapons. But the more I did, the faster they broke.
They shatter in two minutes—no, not even one.
At this point, I'd be grateful just to be able to grab raw mithril and adamantium and swing them.
Probably, if I keep rising through Tiers at this rate, before long I won't even be able to hold a weapon.
"Let's just finish what I was reading."
With a bitter taste in my mouth, I opened the book I had been reading.
A book as thick as my own body.
The title is ordinary.
[The Hero's Story.]
The even shittier novel version of a shitty fairy tale.
Still, the novel version is somewhat readable.
Of course, I have to picture myself in Arisa's place.
"It pisses me off every time I think about it. Why did my reputation go to Arisa? That chimpanzee isn't the type to do that on purpose. What bastard wrote this?"
Grinding my teeth, I skimmed over the passage I had found somewhat entertaining once again.
[So it was that on the fifth year of their journey, the Hero Party succeeded in defeating the First Legion Commander, Krahal of Greed.]
[It was a long battle that lasted a full fifteen days. But the Hero Party never once complained, silently performing the duties only they could perform at their posts.]
[They were so majestic and holy, so sublime as seekers of truth, that even the word Hero was insufficient to describe them.]
-Did you kill it?
-Aaaack! You crazy bitch! Don't you know if you say that, it'll come back to life?!
-Whoa, really? Well, Luna is the Saintess, so she probably could revive even a dead Legion Commander. What if it actually comes back...?
-What crazy shit are you spouting now, chimpanzee?
-Huh? No? Even a Saintess can't revive a dead Legion Commander?
-Why am I even talking to you. Anyway. Paulo. Is that thing really dead?
-It's dead.
-You sure? That bastard, because of that Greed whatever—
-It's the Chalice of Greed, Ronan. It is the opposite of the Sacred Relic of Temperance that Luna carries, and it is an object only a Demon can possess—
-Shut up while I'm treating you, Kaloso. How the hell are you talking with a punctured lung?
-Yeah, Kaloso, how are you talking?
-Ah, this is a new magic I created. It transmits sound through the air as a medium, to prevent cases where I cannot recite an incantation if my lungs are punctured—
-It's slowing my treatment, so shut your trap.
-Anyway, that thing just now. The Chalice of Greed. The guy kept reviving, ranting that he had greedily collected even lives.
-That's true. But this time he's really dead.
-How do you know?
-Humble told me.
-If a Sacred Relic talked, then he's definitely dead. Then let's finish cleaning up and drink fast. Since we came all this way, I want to drink on that bastard's corpse.
-Not yet. You can't drink yet.
-Why? You said that thing's already dead.
-Because I'm about to pass out, so I can't drink.
-What does you passing out have to do with us not drinking? And why are you passing out?
-Krahal's final blow pulverized my liver. I'm losing consciousness even now.
-Ah, if you've got no liver, alcohol won't do. Just stay unconscious. It's a bit of a shame, but we're fine without you. Hey! Luna! Paulo says his liver's gone so he can't drink. Hurry up and bring Kaloso over. Let's drink that alcohol the Emperor gave us. I thought it was so fucking tiny that it wouldn't even touch someone's nose, but today's perfect.
-Kaloso happened to pass out too. And I'm completely out of Holy Power too. It looks like only Arisa, Ronan, and I need to drink. What a shame.
-No, Luna. I have not passed out yet. But in this state, I think I will soon pass out, so please take your hands off my neck.
-Oh my? I had a hunch, and this guy can talk even while being strangled. As expected, magic really is a pain. Hmph.
-Magic, is, not, a, pain, it, is, amaz, ing, but, I, I, I, I, I, am, now, dy, dying.
-Eek! Luna! Kaloso's got bloody foam coming out of his mouth?!
Back then, Kaloso passed out just like that.
Paulo drank with his liver pulverized and then was sick for three days.
And while he was sick, we drank even more expensive alcohol.
Luna strangled Kaloso unconscious again.
Fucking bastard. If I'd known he would betray us, I should have killed him then.
And this is supposed to be the image of sublime seekers of truth?
If the world found out about this, that would be hilarious.
Giggling at the thought of spreading stories from back then far and wide, I—
The Second Legion Commander.
The Third Legion Commander.
The Fourth Legion Commander—I met them.
I skipped the scene where I die.
And took in the final passage of the novel.
[And so, after overcoming countless sacrifices and deaths, and losing even the Martial Artist Ronan, their precious comrade, the Hero Party dramatically succeeded in sealing the Demon King, and each of them achieved their own wishes.]
[And when the Hero Party returned to the Empire, they did not forget the Martial Artist Ronan—Ronan Luzarak—who had sacrificed himself for them. They remembered him forever and mourned his sacrifice with heavy hearts.]
[That tradition continues to this day. On the day the Martial Artist Ronan departed, the whole Empire honors him and holds a grand festival that he supposedly loved.]
"Bullshit."
Success? They couldn't even kill the Demon King—they sealed him. What the hell about that is success?
And they even honored me?
If they did, they should have left out that stupid word "Martial Artist" in front of my name.
"And why the fuck are you assholes holding a festival on the day I croaked?"
That festival.
That shitty festival. I've never attended it even once because I'm afraid I'll flip the whole thing over.
And what's this about each of them achieving their own wishes?
Did they hide their identities and go off to become farmers or something?
Those bastards who loved showing off so much?
"This is bullshit beyond bullshit."
Whoever wrote this clearly took an arrow to the head.
If not, I'll personally stick one in.
"Ha."
Just reading the final passage makes my anger surge, yet I stupidly keep reading it.
"Have I even come to resemble that chimpanzee in my stupidity?"
Muttering curses through gritted teeth, I finally closed the book.
[The Hero's Story.]
The title of the book that ends in a happy ending, which I had read dozens of times, caught my eye.
Once again, I turned back to the front cover.
I read the first sentence of the novel.
[Paulo Frandis, who would later become a Hero, and Ronan Luzarak were born in the same hometown and set out on an adventure with the same goal.]
[They were each other's irreplaceable friend, mentor, and support.]
[They were certain that those roles would probably continue until the end of this long journey.]
"We weren't born in the same hometown; we met in an orphanage. And we didn't set out on an adventure—two light-fingered brats teamed up to go rob a wealthy town."
Still, well.
It's true that we had the same goal.
I still have the same goal as back then.
"Killing the Demon King."
Killing the Demon King, then robbing the rich Emperor's warehouses and treasury.
"Heh..."
Now I closed the book completely.
I got up from my spot and looked in the mirror.
Pink twin tails that call to mind the symbol of spring hung disheveled.
Because I hadn't washed in four days, I look haggard, and because I skipped training, my body feels even softer.
But in my eyes, cherry blossoms are in full bloom.
Four days.
It was a short time, but for someone like me who lived each day split into small pieces, it was quite a long time.
That is to say, it was enough time to sort out my thoughts and feel out the talent I possess.
I have talent.
It is outstanding to a creepy degree.
If I just let go of weapons.
If I shut my eyes tightly and let go of the weapon in my hand.
I was certain I could become incomparably stronger than my past self.
At first I denied it, raged, grew depressed.
But now I don't.
"I'm not a chimpanzee."
I'm a good fighter, fairly smart, decent at cooking, and if I set my mind to it, I can even use weapons.
I could swing a blade and make a decent living.
No, even if I don't do that.
Since I was born into the main line of a ducal house, I can live in comfort. I don't even have siblings.
But if I do that, I can't kill the Demon King.
Let alone the Demon King, I couldn't even kill a Legion Commander.
No matter how hard I try, what can I do with skill that's less than twenty percent of my prime?
Besides, even if I reached my prime, I still couldn't kill the Demon King.
I have to get stronger.
Much stronger than my Past Life, than Ronan Luzarak.
And I already know the way.
So this is no time to nitpick.
Chimpanzee or ape, whatever—I have to desperately sharpen the talent I've been given.
Of course, compared to other chimpanzees, my limbs are short, I'm smaller, and my muscles are weaker.
"That was true in my Past Life too."
I was worse at fighting than Paulo.
I had less Mana than Kaloso.
I didn't have Luna's Holy Power.
My Mana control was inferior to Arisa's.
Even so, I stood beside them.
Beside them, behind them, in front of them.
I killed the most Demons.
I personally took the heads of two Legion Commanders.
Now, to the me who did all that, talent has been given.
An absolute talent that cannot be diminished by those shortcomings.
So.
From today, my fists are hammers.
My feet are spears, and my knife hand is both a sword and an axe.
Not a chimpanzee.
I am that cringeworthy Weapon Master.
"Therefore, the bastards who call me a chimpanzee are gonna get their skulls caved in with my hammer."
Though I doubt there's anyone who would dare call a duke's daughter a chimpanzee to her face.
Giggling, I started toward the bath, then stopped in place.
Since I'm going to wash anyway, it'd be better to work up a sweat first.
Should I?
I quickly changed clothes and untied my twin tails.
I roughly gathered my even messier hair into one place, tied it, and pulled on a hat.
Then, with steps that were now completely light—tap, tap—I headed to the annex training hall.
"Eurasia! Let's spar!"
Eurasia, meeting me for the first time in four days, burst into tears with a "Bwaaang!"
During the spar, she called me a chimpanzee, so I hit her hard with my homemade hammer.
This time she cried, "Hiiing..."
*****
The next morning.
Eli entered the dining room, drawing everyone's worry and attention at once.
As usual, she tore into a large hunk of beef and spoke as casually as if she were stepping out for a walk around the neighborhood.
"Oh, right. Once I come of age, I'll be going to the Demon World."
From Turius's mouth, utterly unable to understand what change of heart she had gone through, fell a piece of half-chewed lettuce.
Wine spilled from Kerion's mouth.
But Julie—
As if she had known Eli would do something like this, she simply wore her usual fresh smile.