The Academy's New Security Guard Is Suspicious (5)

The protagonist of this game was Evangeline.

Evangeline had countless flaws, but the worst of them all was her cursed social skills. They were dreadful. Sure, there was a backstory behind them, but even so, they were severe.

There was a reason the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠woman described in-game as "the most beautiful on the continent" had barely any friends. And one of those few friends was Andy.

Granted, to Andy, Evangeline was barely more than an acquaintance he exchanged the occasional greeting with — but to Evangeline, Andy was her best friend. That was exactly why I had recruited Andy first.

"Befriend Evangeline."

"Befriend her? You don't just mean get to know her?"

Andy tilted his head, as if something about this struck him as odd. I gave a light nod.

"That's right. Become friends with Evangeline."

"Yes, sir! Leave it to me! I'll make her a woman who can't live without me!!"

Andy threw up a sloppy salute while spouting suspicious words. I fought down the urge to critique his salute angle.

"By the way, Evangeline's a name I've never heard before. The way you're emphasizing her, sir, she must be an important person?"

"A very important one."

"Oooh. Could it be... this? Is it this?"

Andy raised his pinky finger and asked, scrunching his eyes into a suggestive squint.

"Absolutely not."

"Heh heh, understood. So where's the target? I'll take her down right this second."

"She's coming soon."

I turned my gaze to the bakery across the street. It was famous enough that visiting nobles made a stop there a mandatory part of any trip to the capital.

Evangeline was obsessed with bread. That's how much she loved it — she would sleep with a loaf for a pillow instead of an actual pillow. The bizarre logic being that she could eat bread even in her sleep, apparently.

Knowing Evangeline, she'd sprint straight to that bakery the moment she arrived in the capital.

"What are the target's characteristics?"

"Pink hair, and a beauty."

"A beauty, huh. Heh heh, that'll make the job fun."

Andy rubbed his hands together with a lecherous grin.

And so we waited. How long had it been?

At the end of the alley, a flash of pink poked out.

The protagonist. Evangeline.

According to the lore, Evangeline was the most beautiful woman on the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠continent. The game had described her looks as something that went beyond mere "beauty" to inspire actual "love."

Because of those looks, Evangeline had been through a great deal. Her family had fallen. Her parents' bodies hung from the gallows. Her younger sibling had gone missing.

Because of it, Evangeline saw her own beauty not as a blessing but as a curse. That was why she hid most of her face behind glasses so enormous and thick they made her look like an idiot.

The classic game trope: the thick-glasses girl turns out to be a jaw-dropping beauty the moment she takes them off.

The problem was—

"Kyaaaaaack!"

Evangeline tripped over nothing at all. Like now.

There was absolutely nothing in her way, and yet she went sprawling with a crash — a sound so crisp and resounding that watching it hurt. Her dragonfly glasses went rolling across the pavement.

"O-ow......"

When Evangeline lifted her head, the noisy street fell silent. Everyone stared at her as if bewitched.

Even I, who knew her character description inside and out, found myself stunned for a moment.

So that's what makes her the most beautiful on the continent.

Evangeline hastily shoved her glasses back on. But the attention she'd already drawn didn't scatter.

And then Evangeline—

"Kack! Kek! Kwik! Shook-shook! Shak!"

—flailed her arms around while making bizarre noises. A woman with messy pink hair and dragonfly glasses carrying on like that looked for all the world like a certified lunatic.

The crowd of staring eyes hastily dispersed.

"N-no way... is that her?"

Andy pointed at Evangeline with a distinctly dubious expression.

"Yes. That's her."

"Hmmm. I feel like I should be getting a bonus for this—"

"A bonus?"

"Haha, joking! Just a joke."

"You'll get one."

I pulled out a pouch and tossed it over — a sack stuffed full of gold coins.

Andy flailed his arms and legs in flustered panic instead.

"Th-that was a joke! No, really, I'm fine!"

A guy destined to become a grand mage, and this was the full extent of his ambition. I narrowed my eyes.

"It's your friendship fee."

"Wait, who on earth gets paid to make friends—"

In lieu of an answer, I pointed at Evangeline.

"Kya-haack!"

By now Evangeline was puffing herself up like some kind of cornered animal. People weren't just averting their eyes from her — they were scrambling to get away entirely.

Andy gave a low groan and quietly pocketed the pouch.

Soon, Evangeline slipped into the bakery. I pushed Andy on the back.

"Go."

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"Yes, sir! Entering the field!"

Andy trotted into the bakery after her, muttering an ominous line under his breath.

Evangeline.

Seeing the protagonist in the flesh stirred feelings I couldn't quite describe. Good ones, certainly not.

When I'd played this game back then, Evangeline had been the landmine responsible for more game overs than anyone else.

And I had to graduate that worthless sunfish. Just let her pass normally.

Honestly? I'd have rather fought the Outer Gods. I meant that sincerely.

Still, at least this time I have Andy.

In the game, when Andy grew close to Evangeline had been a critical factor. Having Andy around eased her sunfish mentality, at least a little.

This time I'd gotten Andy attached to her early, so the odds should be even better—

"Kyahaaaack!"

The bakery door burst open and Evangeline came barreling out. Emitting that bizarre shriek, she fled at remarkable speed.

Andy emerged a beat later, pointing at the fleeing Evangeline and shouting.

"Sir! The little rascal's getting away!"

What an absolute mess.

I cursed under my breath and headed over to Andy.

"What did you do to her?"

"Nothing! I swear, I didn't do anything! I just said hello and she went off like that!"

Andy yelled, the picture of wounded innocence.

It made no sense. Evangeline's opinions of others varied, but with Andy she had always been friendly. So why—?

"Andy, if I hadn't given you orders, and Evangeline had been standing next to you — what would you have done?"

"Sorry? I'd have pretended not to know her. Why would I want anything to do with—"

"And if she were a fellow new student?"

"Then, for appearances' sake, I suppose I'd have offered a greeting and nothing more."

"Hmm. That's the problem, then."

I understood why things had gone wrong. Andy had approached her first. That had apparently tripped Evangeline's alarm bells.

"Sir! Should I round up the boys?"

"Round up what boys? If we wait, she'll come back."

"Sorry? After that whole scene she caused, she's coming back? Pfft, sure she will—"

In answer to Andy's skeptical question, I pointed to the far end of the street. There stood a woman with her hood pulled low, a shock of pink hair sticking out the side.

"No way. She's back already?"

"Evangeline loves bread. She'd have come back even if there were a demon waiting."

"I don't care how much she loves bread, coming back right after that whole disaster? Does that make sense to you?"

It made sense. Because Evangeline was worthless.

"Go in first and buy every single chocolate bread they have. Every last one. Not a single one left behind."

"Sorry? All of them? That bakery's stuff is crazy expensive—"

A mage whose research burns through tens of millions of gold, and he's fussing over the price of bread. It was Andy's chronic ailment.

"Use the money I gave you. That's an order. Buy them ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠all, then stand there quietly holding them."

"Uuugh, understood—"

Andy's voice shrank rapidly.

Big talk a moment ago, but the instant it came time to actually spend money, the coward got cold feet.

"If you stand there holding the chocolate bread, Evangeline will come to you. Show absolutely no interest — just eat your bread, and she won't be able to hold out. She'll come begging for it. Give her one then, and she'll fall right in."

"That easily?"

Not easy at all, actually. It only works because it's Andy, specifically.

Instead of explaining, I shoved Andy's back.

"Whatever happens, do not show interest first."

"What am I, a wild animal—"

Andy grumbled his way into the bakery.

Before long, Evangeline crept warily toward it. She hesitated a good while out front before finally slipping inside.

The spectacle was a little ridiculous, but connecting Evangeline and Andy was critical. You could argue the fate of the world hung on it.

Honestly, if it's a world that depends on this, wouldn't it just deserve to end?

I pressed a firm thumb against my aching temple.

He really wants me to buy all of these?

The brutal bread prices made Andy's whole body shudder.

But it was his superior's order.

"Give me everything from here to here — all of it!"

Andy delivered the line he'd dreamed of saying his whole life. The sight of the bakery staff, wide-eyed with shock, filled him with an inexplicable satisfaction.

Is this really okay? We're not going to bankrupt ourselves here? No matter how you slice it, this is way too expensive!

Andy's trembling hand pushed the gold coins across the counter. Paying gold coins — for bread! He'd never imagined such a thing was possible.

Just then, the bakery door opened and a pink-haired woman walked in. Her face was hidden behind thick, enormous glasses. His target — Evangeline.

Andy held the bread and kept quiet, exactly as ordered.

Evangeline drifted around the shop like she was in a trance. After completing one full lap of the bakery, she began scrutinizing the bread with the gravity of a mage selecting mana stones. The whole establishment felt as solemn as a research laboratory.

Then she started shuffling back and forth in front of the staff member, clearly dying to ask something. After she'd paced long enough, the clerk finally asked if she was looking for something in particular.

Evangeline answered — or seemed to. Her voice was so faint that nothing came through. The clerk asked her to repeat it. That happened three or four times before irritation crept visibly across the clerk's face.

When the clerk repeated the question in a pointed, clipped tone—

"Choco-breeaaad!!"

Evangeline squeezed her eyes shut and screamed it.

Andy, watching from a discreet distance, was genuinely impressed.

Wow. She really is hopeless.

The flustered clerk told her the chocolate bread was all sold out, and Evangeline collapsed right where she stood. Like someone whose noble house had just been ruined. Again.

When tears began welling in her eyes, the clerk frantically pointed at Andy. Andy turned his gaze away, feigning indifference.

Evangeline shuffled over to him, cautious as a stray cat.

Andy paid her no attention at all. Even without the order, he had no desire to get tangled up with Evangeline of all people.

"E-excu—"

She had drifted right up to him before he noticed, and now she called out to him timidly.

"Yes?"

"Cho-! Chocolate bread! You bought! All of it! I heard! That! I love chocolate bread! Too! How could you! Ah- no! That's not what I mean!"

Evangeline kept mumbling to herself, too quiet for anyone to make out a word of it.

In the end, unable to bear the secondhand agony any longer, Andy pulled out a chocolate bread and held it out.

"You'd like this chocolate bread?"

"Y-yes!! I'll pay you...... I'll pay you for it!"

"No need. I have plenty."

Wanting no further entanglement, Andy simply tossed her one of the loaves.

Evangeline took the chocolate bread and made an odd expression. She looked like she was deep in some kind of agonizing deliberation.

"Ah! Don't tell me—"

She gasped to herself and lifted her chin.

For some reason, Andy felt a wave of dread.

Evangeline pointed at him and declared:

"Y-you've fallen for me, haven't you?"

What? How on earth had the conversation gotten—

While Andy stood there floundering, Evangeline only grew more certain.

"I'm sorry, but I like older men. Wait! You're not going to take the chocolate bread back just because I rejected you, right?!"

Evangeline hastily hid the chocolate bread behind her back.

Andy made a silent resolution.

I'm demanding a bigger friendship fee for this.