Blockhead
The next day. I stepped out of the cell and stretched, loosening my stiff muscles. Every movement sent a series of cracks echoing through my body. “Ugh… They could at least put a decent bed in there.”
I grumbled my complaints while replaying last night’s events. Gawain’s face, twisted with guilt. The unprecedented terror attack at the Academy. People had died, and we still had no idea who the culprits were or what they wanted. An investigation was necessary to confirm I wasn’t involved, but normal procedures couldn’t be followed in the chaos. Everyone connected to the incident had been locked up immediately. Gawain had promised to get me out as quickly as possible.
‘He said he’d get me out fast, and here I am the very next morning.’
True to his word, Gawain had pulled every string available. He’d even diverted recovery funds meant for the Academy’s damages just to speed up my release. When I finally walked free, Yuri and Arthur were waiting at the entrance.
“What are you two doing here?”
“Celebrating your release.”
“It’s only right to congratulate a friend getting out of jail.”
I’d only spent one night inside, yet the two of them looked ready to turn the story into drinking fodder for the rest of their lives. I scratched my cheek and watched them. Yuri held something out to me. Tilting my head, I examined it—surprisingly, it was tofu.
“People eat tofu when they get out. Go on, eat.”
“Where did you even learn that?”
“It’s common sense…?”
I was about to argue that no such common sense existed when I remembered Yuri was a northern duke’s daughter. She’d grown up in a frozen penal colony where criminals outnumbered ordinary citizens. Her idea of “common sense” was bound to be different from everyone else’s.
I took the tofu with my bare hands and chewed. “Tastes good.”
“……Why are you eating it with your hands?”
Yuri stared at me like I was a savage and belatedly produced a fork. I frowned. If she had one, she could have offered it earlier. An awkward silence hung in the air until Arthur burst out laughing and showed us what he was holding.
“Guess I brought this for nothing……”
“What is it?”
“Oh, nothing special. My family sent some fruit, but it was a bit overripe, so……”
“Why bring rotten fruit?”
“I put it in a bottle and buried it.”
“……?”
It took me a moment to understand, but then my eyes widened. “Want a drink?”
What Arthur had brought was homemade liquor.
* * *
Nobles were infamous for their debauchery, but even they couldn’t openly drink and chase women in their teens. Naturally, I’d never touched alcohol either. This was my first drink since reincarnating, and my heart was already pounding.
“Welcome, Young Master.”
I headed straight for my mansion in the Academy district. Even as nobles, we couldn’t drink ourselves senseless inside the dorms. Fortunately, the mansion had survived the attack, giving us a place hidden from prying eyes.
At the entrance, I asked the butler for snacks. “Bring us something simple to eat, please.”
“I’ll have it sent to your room.”
“Thank you.”
The butler immediately understood we were planning something improper when I specified the room instead of the dining hall. Still, he seemed to decide it was better than us causing trouble outside, so he nodded and headed for the kitchen.
Leaving the butler behind, the three of us went to my room. We set up a table and chairs, then waited for the snacks to arrive.
“This kind of thing is more fun with more people.”
“Anyone else we can call?”
“That’s the problem—we don’t.”
These kinds of escapades were always better with a crowd, but the only people I could reasonably invite were Aria and Belion—and both were awkward choices. Aria wasn’t close enough to drink with, and Belion was royalty.
‘How are you supposed to drink with a prince……?’
If we secretly dragged the constantly watched prince here, news of us drinking would spread within a day. In the end, the only ones present were the three of us.
“Young Master, I’ve brought the snacks you requested.”
“Ah, come in.”
The butler returned with three wine glasses he hadn’t been asked for. Sharp as ever. After arranging everything, he bowed silently and left.
Once he was gone, I signaled Arthur. He pulled out the hidden bottle and began pouring into the glasses.
“Well then—cheers!”
“Cheers.”
“U-uh, yeah.”
Following the universal rule of downing the first glass, I tossed mine back in one go. I immediately regretted it.
“Uweeegh—”
“Disgusting.”
“Alcohol… tastes worse than I thought.”
An Aura Master’s body analyzed every flavor in detail. That meant I could taste every flaw in this cheap, amateurish brew: the bitterness of rotten fruit, an awkward sweetness from underripe produce, and the harsh sting of alcohol—all separately. It felt like drinking vomit.
I quickly stuffed food into my mouth to mask the taste. Only then could I escape the nausea.
“I heard putting ice in alcohol reduces the bitterness……”
Yuri immediately began creating ice with her mana. I wasn’t sure if mana-made ice was safe to consume, but I held out my glass anyway. Once the ice diluted the alcohol, it became marginally drinkable—still terrible, but tolerable.
We kept drinking, relying on snacks and ice, and before long we’d emptied nearly half the bottle.
“……Hic! Why do adults drink this stuff?”
“You’re already drunk.”
“Whaaat…? Hic! I’m not… drunk……”
I chuckled at Yuri, whose face was flushed and who kept hiccuping. If this world were modern instead of fantasy, she probably would’ve been carried off by some shady guys by now.
After a few more rounds, Arthur naturally brought up yesterday’s events.
“By the way, Kyle, that was impressive. When did you become a Master?”
“—Hey, that’s supposed to be a secret—”
“Master?”
Yuri, who had been swaying from the alcohol, suddenly sharpened. I turned to her with a stiff expression. Her face was cold—far too sober for someone drunk.
“What do you mean?”
“……Ah, Kyle. You didn’t know she knew?”
“……Obviously. We said it was a secret.”
“But she’s your fiancée, so I thought she’d know……”
“—What are you two whispering about?”
Crack— A fissure appeared in the glass Yuri was holding. Mana reacting to her emotions was freezing everything it touched. I quickly tried to calm her.
“I was going to tell you, but your father asked me to keep it hidden.”
“……Father?”
“Yeah. The Duke.”
Yuri, who had been about to explode, regained some composure at the mention of the Duke and began analyzing the situation coldly.
“Still—how does it make sense that your friend knows before your fiancée?”
“Hey, she only found out because she saved me.”
“Why would a Master like you need to hide your identity?”
“Well, the opponent was a Master too.”
The moment the words left my mouth, I realized my mistake. I’d thought I wasn’t drunk, but my body clearly was. Yuri’s eyes shook violently, as if an earthquake had struck, then she downed the rest of her drink in one gulp.
“……I’m leaving.”
She stood up abruptly and immediately staggered, about to collapse. I rushed over, caught her in a princess carry before she fell, and spoke to Arthur.
“I’ll put her to bed and come back. Wait here a bit.”
“Uh, yeah. Take your time……”
“What do you mean, ‘take your time’?”
I smirked and carried Yuri to her room. She clung to me, whining.
“……Kyle.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong?”
“……I’m dizzy.”
“Haha, that’s what happens when you drink.”
“Liar. You’re completely fine……”
I laid her half-slurred self on the bed. Even while groaning, she refused to let go of my hand.
“Kyle……”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“……Don’t die. If you die, I’ll learn necromancy and bring you back……”
“Whoa.”
It was such a realistic threat that I tucked her in and carefully left the room.
When I returned, Arthur—who had been drinking alone—gave me a look that said, “Why are you back so soon?”
“What? Why are you drinking by yourself?”
“Uh, huh? Weren’t you going to sleep with your fiancée?”
“We’re still minors, remember? It’s not like that.”
Arthur turned away and hunched over. Curious what he was doing, I approached—and noticed two large somethings bulging from his chest.
“What’s that?”
“W-what’s what?”
“That in your chest. What did you steal? Wait, there’s nothing worth stealing here.”
“W-wait a second!”
I grabbed Arthur and forcibly checked what was hidden inside. Something slime-like filled my hands. Confused, I lifted his shirt—and two ample breasts bounced into view.
“……Huh?”
I remembered the time we’d gone to the bathhouse together. Arthur had possessed a flat chest no woman would have, and a small but clearly male organ. He had definitely been male then.
But what I saw now was a bust larger than most women’s.
“You…… were a girl?”
Arthur nodded, tears welling in his eyes as he covered his face. I was so shocked I couldn’t remove my hands from her chest.
“……K-Kyle?”
“Yeah, what?”
“Could you stop touching them now……?”
“Ah, sorry.”
Only after her reminder did I realize I’d still been groping her. Being a blockhead, I hadn’t even noticed I was touching her chest. Truly.
