White (2)

We moved through mountain paths where people ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠were scarce and the roads weren't leveled, but our speed had definitely picked up.

Unlike the original world, here I could reinforce my body with mana, so whether it was a mountain or flatland didn't really matter.

What's more, I barely saw any Alchemist personnel. Probably because not much time had passed since I was discovered — it would take a while for their staff scattered across the Ark to gather. The Ark was huge, so they must have assigned one squad per sector.

Using the Authority would pinpoint my route, but since they'd already locked onto me the moment they started tracking, it wasn't a big deal. They were already pinpointing my location through various methods anyway.

And while the Alchemist had already launched their pursuit, the noble houses would take time negotiating — trying to squeeze out every last drop they could before committing. So I hadn't run into any house operatives yet, but time had passed. I shouldn't assume I could keep dodging the heavy hitters the families would send after me from now on.

There's a reason they're noble houses.

Maybe they'd realized I wasn't causing casualties since I was focused on combat, or that weak personnel couldn't handle me — either way, they'd started moving their stronger assets in earnest. Now even Rook-level operatives were showing up.

The danger level was rising pretty fast.

"Still, I'm growing faster by actively using the Authority. Right, Luna?"

Even without fighting directly, I used the Authority to assimilate with their states and raise my own level.

"Mm, yeah."

"Uh, yeah."

The more I used the Authority, the more vividly I could feel Luna's emotions through its influence.

Right ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠now, Luna felt gratitude toward me, but also guilt over the fact that she was the reason we were being hunted.

"I'm sorry…"

I could sense some of what was rising in Luna's heart.

Relief that I hadn't abandoned her even after learning her true identity.

Gratitude that even though the Alchemist had discovered the truth, I still hadn't given up on her and was fleeing like this.

But conversely, guilt over making me abandon my normal life and become a fugitive because of her — that I'd have to live a much harsher, lonelier life in the Demon Realm from now on.

And anger toward the Alchemist for making her like this in the first place.

Emotions aren't simple.

It's impossible to fully understand these impossibly complex feelings, and good emotions and bad ones always coexist.

With all these tangled emotions swirling inside her, this child wanted to speak but couldn't. What could I possibly do for her?

"Luna, this was my choice. I could have chosen to abandon you. But I made this choice because I didn't like that option. You don't need to worry about it."

I had plenty of options.

I could have chosen to give up on Luna, and if I had, I would have been guaranteed a much more comfortable life.

But I didn't.

I laid out what I'd lose and what I'd gain from both choices, and in the end, my scale simply tipped toward not abandoning Luna.

There was no external pressure or coercion in that decision.

With that thought in mind, I spoke to Luna.

"I know… but still…"

Even after hearing my words, she didn't seem at ease.

"Tch. You keep doing this."

I lifted Luna, who was walking beside me, with one arm.

"I can't say I knew for certain, but I had my suspicions. From the very first day you followed us using the Authority."

It wasn't a lie. The thought had briefly crossed my mind back then.

"But…"

"So don't worry about it. Come on, let's make a promise."

I brought one hand to Luna and extended only my thumb and pinky.

Slowly, Luna reached out her hand, wrapped her pinky around mine, and pressed her thumb against mine.

"It's a promise, right? That you won't worry about it anymore."

"Okay…"

"Besides, you were deliberately hinting at it too, weren't you?"

I hadn't understood it well back then, but now I understood Luna clearly.

This kid was smart.

Extremely so.

And for someone like her, there had been several unnatural slips of the tongue.

She'd acted like they were mistakes, but looking back now, those were intentional actions.

"Well, well. Looks like I've got a daughter with a sneaky side."

I said that as I ruffled Luna's hair, messing it up.

"Ah, uh… that's…"

"Care to explain yourself, Miss Luna?"

At my words, Luna hung her head low.

What a cute little kid, fun to tease.

"So it's fine. I didn't protect you on a whim. I'd been thinking about what to do if this happened, agonizing over it. My choice wasn't some impulsive reaction — it was closer to pulling out an answer I'd already prepared for a moment of choice I knew would come someday."

"Okay…"

Luna's answer was just as small as before, but this time I thought I understood why it was small.

"Are you embarrassed?"

"N-no I'm not!"

Luna said that and buried her already-lowered head even deeper.

"Then why are you acting like this~?"

I teasingly lifted Luna's chin.

"Ugh, stop it!"

Luna's neck was stronger than I expected, so I couldn't lift it all the way.

"Huh, I thought I'd gotten stronger."

Come to think of it, just as I was getting stronger through the Authority, Luna would be getting stronger from its influence too.

"Hey, Luna! Shame isn't a shameful emotion! Be proud of your embarrassment and show me that red face!"

"Wh-what are you talking about!"

I couldn't see it, but through my hand that was squishing her cheeks, I felt a damp sensation.

Tears?

"Are you crying?"

"I don't know…"

I set Luna down as tears dripped from her cheeks.

"It's weird…"

"I'm not sad…"

"It doesn't hurt that much…"

"I'm not lonely anymore…"

"I shouldn't be sad…"

"But the tears won't stop…"

"It's weird…"

"I don't know why…"

"Because of me, Dad is going to have a hard time…"

"Even so, he chose me…"

"I shouldn't be sad, I should be happy…"

"It's weird…"

She learns everything so fast, but shows ignorance in the strangest places, this daughter of mine.

Maybe she even inherited this from me.

"Luna, tears don't only come when you're struggling, hurting, sad, or lonely."

I closed my eyes and recalled words from long ago.

"They come when you're deeply moved too."

"They can come for no reason at all."

"You probably don't understand."

"Right now, you're crying because you're happy."

"Just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠because tears come doesn't mean you have to hold them back."

"Let them fall as they come."

I couldn't do that.

"No matter what reason those tears come for."

"Whether it's pain, loneliness, or sadness."

I swallowed my tears to hide my pain.

I swallowed my tears because I didn't want to admit I was lonely.

I swallowed my tears ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠because I thought I shouldn't be sad.

"Don't hold back. Let them out."

Maybe seeing Luna always trying to smile, I caught a glimpse of my own past self.

"No one will say anything if you let them out."

Luna must have been smiling to hide her anxiety and fear too. Just like I smiled to hide my pain and suffering.

"Besides, who's going to say anything about crying from happiness?"

Being able to shed tears through joy might be a blessing.

A chance to realize just how happy you can be.

A happiness that words can't fully express.

Maybe it's one way of expressing it.

Luna's suppressed crying burst out like a dam breaking.

Like emotions pent up for years exploding all at once.

The reason for her tears might be joy, but the tears themselves probably held more than just joy.

Pain.

Terror.

Fear.

Sadness.

Loneliness.

Things she'd felt but held in all this time might be mixed in there,

or maybe things like joy and happiness — things she'd only thought existed in other people's stories — had belatedly mixed in as she realized they were now part of her own world.

From Luna's eyes, the emotions that had been pushed down fell like a waterfall. From her mouth, sounds she hadn't been able to release burst out as sobs.

I gently pulled Luna into my arms with one arm.

She flinched briefly at the unexpected warmth, but then surrendered to it, relaxing as if entrusting her body to my embrace.

I just patted Luna with my other hand as she cried in my arms.

"That's right."

"Cry."

"No one's going to say anything."

"There was never really a reason to hold back."

"Tears come when you're happy."

"And tears come when you're hurting."

"And if tears come, I'll wipe them away for you."

You have to empty out the emotions you've held in for years before you can fill that space with new ones.

So cry as much as you want.

The emotions you've emptied —

I'll fill them back up for you.

I pray that while negative emotions may never disappear entirely from our lives, there will be more positive ones going forward.

And I wiped that child's tears away.