23
Chapter 23
Just a little more.
"No."
"There's not much to eat at my place."
Just a little more.
"You can just call Unnie."
"But isn't it a bit much to ask a stranger for this kind of help?"
Just a little more.
"Still, no."
"Really? You won't?"
The more I press her, the more Luna's pupils tremble.
"I... can't."
"I won't do anything dangerous. I'll just follow my usual routine."
Luna let out a groan, clearly conflicted. It wasn't even a lie, since her usual routine mostly consisted of training. Though, I wasn't sure about the days I went for walks with her, as those were usually rest days.
Come on, Luna, don't let the Estella inside you win. Just a little more effort.
"I..."
Luna began walking toward the front door.
"Right, let's go for a walk together. Don't you want something tasty? I'll buy you a snack."
I could do some part-time work, get some training in, and look for the Witch all at once.
"Ugh..."
Luna walked straight to the front door and...
Sssssss—
welded it shut.
Huh?
"Luna's out of mana. It'll take a few days to gather enough to fix that."
Without hiding her exhaustion, Luna trudged back to the bed.
But as soon as she reached the bed, she suddenly turned around and approached me.
"Just take a nap with me."
Since it was around 9 PM, saying she was going to bed early would have been more accurate than calling it a nap, but I didn't feel the need to correct her.
"Okay."
She was stronger than she looked; I was simply dragged along.
"You're warm."
Luna laid me down and snuggled into my arms as she usually did.
"Let's sleep now."
"Yes, ma'am. But miss, do you really think I'll fall asleep just by lying down?"
"Yeah. Daddy is exhausted."
I didn't think I was that exhaus...
***
Where on earth am I?
Calm yourself; you are in a dream.
For the first time in a while, it wasn't Eve and Nive greeting me, but the dream itself.
"What kind of dream is this?"
Ever since meeting Eve and Nive, I've become immediately aware whenever I'm dreaming.
I see myself over there.
A younger, more immature version of myself caught my eye.
Looks like I was around middle school age.
"Hello there, little one."
As a woman with long black hair spoke to 'me', 'I' responded without hiding my annoyance.
"How are you here again? Your way of speaking changed again, too. And about that last time..."
'I' spoke to her, making no effort to hide the irritation.
"It's nothing. Just think of it as a chronic ailment of mine."
She cut me off and continued. Even though 'I' and she were talking, none of the people in the background paid any attention.
I might not be, but she certainly had the kind of looks that would make anyone turn their head as they passed by.
Since it's just a dream, one might dismiss it as such, but it had always been this way, even when I wasn't dreaming.
She never appeared on security cameras, and no one ever noticed her and me talking.
Moreover, when I was in conversation with her, people didn't even realize I was there.
"Yeah, I guess I've completely lost my mind."
"Is that what you think?"
"I've finally gone crazy."
"You aren't crazy, dear. You're just a bit unique."
"No, I'm crazy. I'm talking to someone no one else can see, and her personality and way of speaking change every single day, yet she remembers everything I say perfectly. Well, I suppose that's quite useful for my father."
'I' held my head in frustration, but soon returned to my usual state.
"I wonder what he'll say this time."
At this moment, 'I' was celebrating a birthday.
Then, 'I' pulled a single pill from a pocket.
It was a birthday present.
A public birthday party was underway, and 'I' was meant to take the present naturally during the event.
Dressed up to the nines, 'I' headed toward the platform.
Before stepping up, 'I' swallowed the pill.
There was no feeling at first.
Standing on the platform, 'I' recited the memorized script.
It was the usual stuff—thanking everyone for coming and such.
Just as the speech was coming to an end.
Thump— Thump— Thump
My heart began to race violently.
It beat so hard it felt like it would burst.
I could feel that sensation too.
My expression merely soured, but for 'me', it seemed far worse.
"Gasp... ah... ugh..."
'I' groaned, crawling across the floor.
The people around watched 'me' in shock.
"So, this is the choice you make."
She spoke as if she found me interesting.
An ambulance arrived quickly and loaded 'me' inside.
As soon as 'I' was placed in the ambulance, my vision went black.
When my sight returned, I was staring at the familiar ceiling of a hospital.
The hospital I always ended up in after playing these roles.
There was no one in 'my' hospital room.
Only 'me' and the medicine that was always there.
I reached for that medicine, just as I always did.
"Are you going to take it?"
She appeared out of nowhere and snatched the pill from my hand.
"This medicine gives you a moment of peace, but it's stealing your heart away."
That was only natural. It was a drug designed for that exact purpose.
'I' paused for a moment and looked at her.
"You're here again."
'I' spoke with a scowl.
"I have nothing better to do, child. And you're mistaken. I may be visible here, but I do not exist here."
"Bullshit."
"If that's how you feel, there's nothing I can do."
She continued, seemingly unbothered.
"I wonder why he goes this far."
She touched the remote and turned on the television.
[Chairman Lee Seo-won of Y Company—following the death of his wife from heart disease, his son has also collapsed from the same condition. This happened on the birthday of his beloved child...]
That man used me for his own needs, and back then, I didn't refuse.
"It's so that I can be happy."
"You believe that if your father becomes more successful through your suffering, he'll eventually care for you. And yet, the man hasn't even come close to this place."
"No, children exist for their parents. Even if they don't notice, that alone gives my life meaning and makes me happy."
'I' continued speaking as if this were common sense. As if there were no other reason for my existence, as if this were my only happiness and my only path—not out of blind devotion, but as a simple fact of life.
'My' eyes reflected the light as if brimming with vitality. It was fanaticism, ignorance, and blind faith.
"And you're soaked in all sorts of drugs and brainwashing to boot."
"What are you..."
"I wonder when it started. Ah, it began the moment you could understand language."
She approached and gripped my head with one hand.
"How intriguing. I wonder what your true self is like. Will you show me? How will you react to me once you wake from this dream? If that ignorance of yours wavers even slightly, how will you change? What happens when a blind, fanatical belief—the only common sense you've ever known—is denied?"
Contrary to her words, her eyes were filled with pity, as if she were looking at something profoundly wretched.
'I' vomited something black. My ignorance. My blindness. My deficiencies.
That was the day my world shattered.
From that day on, she visited me constantly to talk.
She made me discard my faith and common sense, teaching me instead how to doubt, reject, be wary, be self-righteous, and be selfish.
She was by no means a normal person. She was someone broken, shattered, and worn down.
But I wasn't much different.
If she was a lunatic, then I had to be one as well.
That was how I became her friend.
I continued to watch what happened after.
We were broken gears.
Unable to mesh or turn with anything else.
However, she knew what a normal gear looked like.
That was why she refined me.
So that I could eventually mesh and turn with other gears.
And so, time passed.
"Are you okay?"
"Oops, was it obvious?"
My expression hadn't changed much, but she noticed my pain as she always did and offered words of concern.
"I'll say this every time, but I can fix it for you if you want."
"And I'll always say the same: there's no need for that."
I said this while clutching my dying heart.
"Don't you feel resentful? Don't you want revenge? Don't you want to live longer?"
"I don't want anything to do with those bastards anymore. And there's no reason for me to keep living. You're acting like a child today, whining."
I spoke with total indifference. Death wasn't something I felt the need to flee from.
"Right, I get it. Then there's not much time left, is there? For us to meet like this."
"Yeah, you said that once I die, I can reach where you are, right? That we'd actually meet, not just like this."
I gazed at the scenery with hollow eyes.
I looked at the place where I had died.
"Those words weren't a lie. You just aren't ready yet. By the time your heart fails and you die, everything will be prepared."
She didn't exist in this world. If she had, she would have come to find me first.
Those words weren't a lie.
They were a promise for the future, not the present.
I hadn't died yet.
My heart had been restored by the Saintess during the entrance ceremony.
Unaware of this, I replied to her.
"Then that's enough."
I sat on the floor with a look of relief.
"Then, would you like to read something for the remaining time?"
That was the day I first began reading it.
I read it whenever I had spare time, and she periodically checked to see if I was keeping up.
And she always asked the same question.
"Then, what do you think is necessary for this story to have a happy ending?"
I always gave her a half-hearted answer.
Whenever she asked that question, her eyes would sparkle with anticipation.
Through that, I could feel just how much she loved the story.
The reason I gave her such vague answers was simple.
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't come up with anything.
Rather than letting her dismiss a poorly thought-out idea, I wanted her to keep hoping that a better solution would be found.
Because I believed that, one day, I would be able to bring her the perfect answer.
I broke the flow of the conversation.
"How much longer are you going to show me this?"
"Just... I wanted to reminisce after so long."
Someone draped their arms around my neck and whispered in my ear.
It was a seductive voice, as always.
"It's been a while."
"We saw each other yesterday."
"I didn't know it was you back then."
She laughed, saying, 'That's true.'
"So..."
"Sorry, I can't tell you anything."
She placed her index finger over my lips to silence me. I suppose it meant she wouldn't answer most of the questions I had.
"Yeah, you stubborn crazy bitch."
"Why? I don't recall ignoring anything."
I pointed my finger toward my chest.
"The one who fixed your heart wasn't me, it was the Saintess, right?"
She said this with a smirk.
"I see you thought I would be the one to intervene in the entrance ceremony."
"With a heart in that condition, most healing wouldn't have worked properly. You were hurt exactly as much as I calculated, at the exact timing I planned."
"Crazy bitch. This wouldn't have worked if I hadn't done anything."
"Then why did you intervene?"
I swallowed my words.
Because you love this world. Because deep down, you've always wanted the end of this world to be brighter and happier.
As if she had caught the words I swallowed, she gave a mischievous smile.
"Now that you're living, how does it feel?"
"Not bad."
Honestly, life here was physically exhausting, but my mind was at peace.
Because I had nothing, the people who approached me were, ironically, only the good ones.
"If you say it's not bad, you must be quite satisfied. Ah, I hate this. I only get to see you occasionally, and now it's going to be even harder."
"Is that so."
I had more or less expected it.
Intervening as a Constellation consumes a considerable amount of power. It was only natural, given how often she had visited me in such a short time.
She released her arms from around my neck and stepped back.
"Pop quiz!"
"So suddenly?"
I spoke with a hint of surprise at her abruptness.
"Who am I?"
She turned around and spread her arms wide.
"The part about actually being able to meet me wasn't a lie."
"Wait a minute."
"So, try to find out what my origin is."
"My time is up. Spend the rest of your dream playing with Eve."
She never listens to a word I say.
And just like that, I was kicked out of my dream.